Emotional Challenges

May 17, 2010

From the beginning of this journey, I have paid close attention to all of the emotional and physical challenges that so many people face.  Luckily, I have been a-ok.  Though, I have felt that I was mentally prepared to take on anything that came my way.  Afterall, knowledge is preparation... well... sort of.  It's finally hit me.  I'm almost 4 weeks out and I am an emotional basket case.  To be frank, I'm a completel bitch.  I saw a thread not long ago where someone had mentioned that people have been telling her not to change, not to "get mean."  This was something I had never heard.  I found it very interesting-- it made me wonder whether or not these people are considering a new, confident, self-assured, strong woman as "mean."  But no, this is real.  I can feel the bitchiness inside me.  I can't blame it on PMS as I've finished my period... almost.  I'm short tempered and the littlest things irritate me - forcing me to bite my tongue just to save myself from hurting anyone ...(not physically lol).  I don't know if all of my changes are coming to a head... catching up with me emotionally so to speak.  If 6 weeks of watching others enjoy their fattening, delicious foods in front of me is now paying a toll on my sanity... if constantly putting something in my mouth - sips of water, itty bitty bites of egg salad, vitamins, etc etc - has caught up with me.... I really don't know.  I just know I don't feel like myself.  I feel like I'm having a bad day... and everyone is going to pay for it.

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