I don't love to post

Aug 04, 2007

It's now post opt day 16 and I am on a mushy type diet.  I can have chicken and fish.  I have had a really hard time staying true to the diet.  When they say mushy I think of mashed potatos.  A person can only eat so many potatos.   I have probably eaten things that weren't on my diet but I try to keep my portions small and I chew like crazy.  Dawn, the NP at my surgeons office, didn't act like that was a huge problem.  My scale says I'm down to 272.5 which is great.  My high was 293 before I started my pre opt diet do I'm figuering that's about 21 pounds.  I have a fill scheduled for 16th.  I am soooo ready for it.  Since I don't love to post, this will probably be the last until my fill. 

2 days after surgery

Jul 21, 2007

Wow, I'm such a whimp.  I hurt so badly.  My back is killing me and we aren 't even going to talk about my tummy.  I slept most of Thursday and almost all of Friday.  I was a little irritated with St. Mary's.  They kept me in the post opt recovery area until I was discharged.  I kept asking for my husband and they wouldn't let him back there to see me.  I got out of surgery at 10am and didn't get to see him until 3ish.  I did get to hear the nurses bitch about when they are getting their breaks and how they needed more beds.  Not overly happy with the experience.  

I can't say that I'm hungry but I feel empty.  I havn't managed to get any where close to the amount of liquids that I need.  I keep trying because I can tell I'm dehydrated.  Each day is getting better...I can't wait until I can eat my mushies.  

I'm down to 279 pounds.  At my pre opt appointment I was 293, the day of surgery I was 283.

Tomorrow is the BIG day

Jul 18, 2007

Poor Skyler, she is having a hard time tonight with my surgery tomorrow.  I wish I could have kept the knowledge of my surgery from my girls.  When I dropped the girls off at my parents tonight, Skyler freaked out.  Normally when I drop them off, I turn into chop liver.  They love my parents and ask to spend every night there.  Tonight Skyler cried and begged me not to leave her.  She told me that she didn't want me to be skinny, that she loves me how I am.  I felt so bad.  Once the kids had heard that I was having the surgery, I had talked to them about doing this to be healthy and to be able to move and play with them.  I never focused on being skinny but some how I must have sent that message out.  What am I teaching my girls?  They are at such an impressionable age, I need to really watch how I protray weight.  I don't want them to have a bad self image.  I wish this parenting thing was easy.  

Well I am off to bed.  Just 7 1/2 hours until I check in to St. Mary's for my band.  Tomorrow I will post my weight and measurements.

less than a week to go.

Jul 13, 2007

Wow, I just logged on and saw several posts offering support and encouragement for my upcoming surgery.  I really appreaciate everyting!  Each day has gotten easier and I am less focused on food (the way it's supposed to be).  For the first time in my life, I have truely given up my most powerful vice.  SODA.  All 300-1000+ extra calories that I would drink (and go to my hips).  I have lost the craving for it and I am very concious of everyting that I put into my mouth.  I don't want to jepordize my results by being weak.  I CAN DO THIS!  I WILL DO THIS!  

I'm excited and empowered by everyone's kind words.  Thank you for helping me with a new chapter in my life!

just 9 days left...

Jul 10, 2007

Back on track with my LD.  I seem to be doing what I need to do to get back on track.  I watched a t.v. show last night about Brookhaven Obesity Clinic and I was these really obese people and most of them were trying hard to take control of their life.  A few people on the other hand were doing what ever they damn well pleased.  I don't want to be like the cheaters.  I want to take charge of my life and if that means I have to put down the damn fork and give up excess than that's what I will do! 

11 days...

Jul 08, 2007

I started my LD a couple days late.  My hubby and I were supposed to go out to dinner for one last over indulgence at my facorite place.  Texas De Brazil.  TDB is a wonderful Brazilian steak house where these beautiful Brazilian men bring you lots of tasty meat.  It's one of those places where you dont go often (it's very spendy and honestly, how much meat can you eat?) but when you do you are on a meat high for a day or two.  Anyways, we never made it and now I am hungry and cranky because of this weird liver shrinking diet.  I had a shake for breakfast, 10 almonds for a snack (Yeah, I know that I cheated already), a late lunch of a 1/4 chicken breast, 1/4 cup of sharp chedder and about a cup of zucchini and dinner of a supper yummy shake.  Why am I bitching?  I have worked and waited for 3 years to be 11 days away from my surgery and all I can do is think about food.  I know that the next 60 days will be the hardest.  Once my band is in place and I don't feel hungry, I know I will be fine.  I like that with the band I will be able to eat most of the same things I eat now (just in little bitty portions).  BLAHHH BLAHHH BLAHHH.  If you are reading this, just ignore me.  I'm a wimp and I will be better in a day or two...right now I am just going to pout and be mad that I missed my last chance to be a glutten...


19 days and counting

Jul 03, 2007

In two days I will have my pre-opt.  I am excited and nervous.  I'm not nervous about the testing just worried that I won't succeed.  I heard from my cousin about her experience with the band and in 9 months she has only lost 30 pounds.  Granted she hasn't changed her eating much but I want better results.  I want 30 pounds in 2 months.  The liquid part of the diet (for my liver shrinking and right afterward) will be the hardest part.  I am not worried about eating less or eating slower, just about getting passed the first couple of weeks.  I am trying to keep a possitive outlook and a can do attitude!

30 days and counting...

Jun 20, 2007

I have been bad.  I don't know why I have started being self destructive again.  The same thing happens anytime I try to make changes.  I am worried that when my surgery date comes I will do things that I shouldn't.  I keep telling myself that since I am paying for it I won't do any of the destructive behaviors that have caused me to fail.  Then I look at my $800 elliptical that I've used 3 times.  I am joining the support group in July and I hope to find the added support that I seem to lack.  I just keep looking at my girls and tell myself that I have to do this for them and that seems to give me some added motivation.  30 days to work on my short-comings.  I need to keep looking at all the before and after pictures that I have seen because that seems to inspire me.  I know that I can do this.  I will do this! 

About Me
Lehi, UT
Location
27.3
BMI
Surgery
07/19/2007
Surgery Date
Jun 11, 2007
Member Since

Friends 14

Latest Blog 8
I don't love to post
2 days after surgery
Tomorrow is the BIG day
less than a week to go.
just 9 days left...
11 days...
19 days and counting
30 days and counting...

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