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Well, for the most part, about 95% of my surgical pain is gone. I saw my surgeon this past Friday, and he said that with extensive as my surgery was, he's not surprised that I still have pain. He even told me that I may have pain in the future, as my adhesions grow back. ICK!!! Another thing that he told me is that since I had the DS 7 years after I was sleeved, that my weight loss would be much slower than someone who had their DS/sleeve at one time. I can certainly attest to that, because since my surgery on 2/1, I have only lost 20 lbs. But I'm doing my best to not become discouraged. I keep telling myself that it's a marathon and not a sprint. And today, I became reaquainted with my treadmill. Since it's my first day, I didn't get too crazy, and I only did a quarter of a mile. But that's ok. Again, it's a marathon, and not a sprint. 

I'm still having difficulty getting in all of my protein. The shakes are sooooooo disturbingly sweet, so I'm not really interested in them. My NUT suggested that I put some cocoa powder in them to cut some of the sweetness, or add some PB2. I'm definitely going to try both of those suggestions. 

I am back to eating regular food. I had a 5 oz salmon filet the other night, and it was all I could do to keep it down. As a matter of fact, I couldn't finish it. It was very odd. That's the only problem that I've had, which is a good thing. I made a meatloaf last night, and put 3 chunks on my plate. And then I promptly ate 1 chunk, which was probably about a tablespoon, and I had about a cup of steamed broccoli, which I ate all of. I also made these incredibly decadent sticky buns, which my family loves. I was particularly tempted, but later on, I found myself picking at the nuts and the raisins. So I sent several home with my significant other, and today, I'm taking the rest to a friend of mine. I love to bake, but I don't necessarily love to eat what I bake. I've been doing it for so long, that I just don't get tempted like that anymore. But when I get really hungry, sometimes it's easier to reach for those white carbs than it is to make something healthy. So why tempt fate?  

I did have a moment last week, where I went into the store without my cane. IT WAS AWESOME!!! I still have back pain, but even losing those 20 lbs has really made a difference. It gives me hope that I made the right decision in having the completion. I was so hoping that once I started losing weight again, that my back pain would improve. So as I lose more and more weight, it would be nice to leave my cane behind altogether !! As I was making dinner yesterday, I realized that I still can't stand for long periods of time, but again, I'm hopeful that there will come a time when I don't even notice the pain anymore.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Thanks for listening.

I'll be 2 weeks out, as of tomorrow, and I'm still incredibly sore. I probably shouldn't be surprised, based on the extensive scar tissue removal, but I was hoping that I would feel a bit better by now. I still sleep with the heating pad on my tummy. I took some Tylenol, hoping that it would alleviate some of the soreness, and I actually ended up with a bigger problem. I was sick to my stomach, and had severe diarrhea. I've been sleeved since 2011, and I've never had that type of reaction before. So I'm experiencing all types of new issues with my new anatomy. Another concern that I have, is how difficult it is to get in my fluids and my protein. I used to drink water all day, every day. It's pretty late in the day now, and I just now finished my first 16.9 oz bottle of water. That's not me at all! And I'm hungry! I'm sick of soups, and broths, and protein shakes. I made myself some mashed potatoes last night. They were just ok. But I know that I probably wouldn't be able to handle anything more substantial than that. 

Anyway....I have to get it together, somehow, some way. I need to start walking/exercising, but I'm so sore, my body wants no parts of that business. I'm just not bouncing back like I did before. I'm going to try not to get too overly concerned right now. I'll give it another week, and see what happens. 

Stay tuned.......

Well, I had my DS on 2/1/18. According to my surgeon, it was a long, extensive surgery. I had more scar tissue than was allowed by law. So much so, that he had to remove my appendix because it was so entwined in the adhesions. But here I am, 11 days later, and so far, I haven't had any negative effects. I am incredibly sore however, so I can't walk like I want and/or need to. I do get tuckered out pretty good whenever I try to do anything, but I know that I'm getting there. Unfortunately, I had an allergic reaction to the Heparin, so they took me off of that. And the Lovenox was almost $500, and I certainly couldn't afford that. So I have to make sure that I move every day, and being as sore as I am, that's not an easy feat. 

TMI.....After reading about the side effects of the DS, I was prepared for less than pleasant smelling bowel movements. Well, let me tell you....I WAS NOT THE LEAST BIT PREPARED FOR THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION!!! It was absolutely horrible! I have my own bathroom in my bedroom, and even with the fan on, I didn't want to go into my bedroom at all! So I bought myself some of that Poo pourri stuff, and that made it a little better. 

Eating is a challenge, at best. And I find that I'm hungry, more often than not. But I'm sticking to the plan, and I'm now in the puree stage. What's hard about this stage, is that when I was younger, my brother broke his jaw, and my mom had to put all of his food in the blender. That's all I can think of when it comes to this stage, but I'm doing the best that I can, and soups with extra unjury protein always fills the bill. I have only lost about 6 lbs since the surgery, but I think I have rather high expectations.

On Saturday, we got a pizza from this pizzeria in doylestown, PA, which happens to be the best pizza I have ever put in my mouth. And then yesterday, I made a Red Velvet cake from scratch, and tonight, my entire family went to golden corral for dinner. So as of tonight, my bucket list is complete, and I start my pre-op liquid diet on Wednesday, for my surgery next Monday. We've been home for at least 2 hours, and I am still stuffed! But you know what??? I'm completey done. I will never be this weight again, and I will never be this unhealthy again. So in actuality, I can say that Wednesday will actually be the first day of the rest of my life. When I graduated high school, I gave one of the graduation speeches, and the title of my speech was "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives". I didn't know then, how prophetic that speech would be, some 34 years later. Wednesday will not only be the first day of the rest of my life, but Wednesday, I start LIVING!! Wednesday will mark the day that I take that first step towards my new life. April 4th will be my new 'birthday'.

Pizza from my favorite pizzeria: 12.76
Dinner with the family at an all u can eat buffet: 62.22
Knowing that I'll be able to ride bikes with my grandkids this summer: ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!

One week to go. I'm anxious, nervous, frightened, and the list just goes on and on. But I just don't know where the time went. I had my pre admission testing on Friday, and the nurses there made me feel so comfortable. They treated me like I was their only patient, despite them being really busy. So I start my pre-op diet on Wednesday, and tonight, my whole family is going to dinner at Golden Corral. I've never been there, but I hear the food is really good.
It's hard to believe that this time next week, I will be all sleeved!! Yikes.

I start my pre-op liquid diet on 3/30, so I've been looking for a protein powder that I like. I finally found the CVS Whey protein in vanilla, and initially, it was really, really good. (I couldn't get past the smell of the Chike protein) But the next day, I tried to get down a shake, and I just about lost it. So I decided to have a no sugar added carnation instant breakfast, and I added a scoop of the whey, 1/2 tsp of instant coffee, a few ice cubes, and 1 cup of skim milk. I really, really enjoyed it! So I'm going to go back and get a few more flavors, and see what I can do with them. I know how important it is to get in my protein, so I have to find a combination that I can get down, with not too much difficulty. I was also at support group last week, and someone who was sleeved 6 months ago, was saying how the Isopure was absolutely awesome, so I'm going to invest in some of that.

I met a woman at the pre surgery workshop last week, and she had her surgery a week ago. I talked to her on Saturday afternoon, and she was telling me that she felt just fine. She said that she really didn't have any kind of appetite, and that she was trying to get her fluids in, and that was hard. But other than that, she wasn't having any problems at all. I just hope and pray that my surgery goes just as smoothly.

I guess that's all for now. I can't believe that in 1 1/2 weeks, I'll be on the losers bench. Everyone has been telling me that my feelings of 'what if' is completely normal, and I'm sure it is. I have just always been an extremely confident person, and when I decide something, that's normally it. I can't stand this feeling of being unsure. I really need to just take a deep breath, put on my big girl panties, and believe with all my heart, that this is what's best for me, and my family.
But gosh I'm nervous!!

April 4. Two weeks from today, my life is going to change forever. There's a part of me that's certain that something is going to go wrong. I've done my research, looked at my surgeon's stats, and there is no reason for me to believe that my sleeve surgery won't be textbook. But still, I have this nagging feeling that I just can't seem to shake. I'm sure that I'll be just fine. So many folks have said that what I feel is completely normal, so apparently I'm right on schedule.
My insignificant other finally gave me his full support last night. Not that it matters, which is why he's insignificant. This is something that I have to do for me, and only me. I start my 5 day pre-op diet on 3/30, and I finally found a protein powder that I actually enjoy! It's the CVS brand of whey protein. I got the vanilla flavored, and I added it to my low fat yogurt this morning, and I really enjoyed it. The problem is that my 8 year old grandaughter really likes it too. So, being the good mom mom that I am, I have to share. Plus, she's cute as a button, and I just can't seem to say no to those big brown eyes.
So....two weeks away from the rest of my life. Two weeks.

I received a call on 1/27, from Toni from the Bariatric institute, and she asked me which surgery did I want to have. She said that she needed it, so that she could submit it to my insurance. I told her that I wanted the sleeve. She said ok, and she would probably give me a call early the next week. Well, the very next day she called me, and she said that since they can do the surgery as  'outpatient', that they didn't need to get a pre-cert. She went on to say that even though 99.9% of the patients stay overnight, once I have my surgery, it will be on the hospital to get the authorization for me to stay overnight. Long story short, my surgery date has been scheduled for 4/4/2011. I'm a little concerned about it being so far out. Granted, I could use the time to gather information, and get into a support group. BUT....I don't want to have to wait 2 months. I supposed I really shouldn't complain. My first appt was on 12/17, and in less than 4 months, I have a surgery date scheduled. I'm going to see if I can get it moved up, but we shall see. I am also scheduled to have my final Pre-Op visit, on 3/14/2011. I will also have to attend some sort of Pre-Op class, that same day.
Apparently my daughter has called all of her friends, and they plan to have a huge 'Pre Surgery' party for me, mid March. She plans on having all of my favorite foods, and we are just going to eat, and drink, and party like it's 1999. I'm also a huge baker, and the cook in the family, so I'm sure there will be lots of carbs around. I used to wear this cat suit in another lifetime, and I could never quite bring myself to throw it away. How about she plans on the cat suit being the guest of honor?  When she was younger, many of her male friends used to come to our house, just to see me in this cat suit. And my boyfriend used to lose his mind when I put it on. Everyone is very excited about the prospect of seeing me in this cat suit again.

I'm scared, and nervous, and I've changed my mind at least 1000 times. But without a doubt, I know that this is probably the best thing that I can do for myself, so I have to concentrate on that.  I'm mad as hell at myself, because I started smoking again. I had quit for 4 MONTHS!!! I don't know what I was thinking!  So now, I have to start all over again. Of course, I'm not smoking as much as I was, but even 1 is too many. So it's back to the drawing board. But trust me.....by the end of February, I'll be smoke free once again. I'm determined to get 100% healthy in 2011. I did find out that I'm pre-diabetic, and my doc tells me that once I have the surgery, that will no longer be an issue. And of course, I will no longer be on high blood pressure or cholesterol meds anymore.

What I'm really looking forward to, believe it or not, is buying new panties. Oh....and being able to ride a bike with my beautiful grand kids. They would love that, and so would I. I bought this beautiful pair of shoes about 4 months ago. They have a 4" heel. Sadly, they are still in the box, because I just can't wear them. I refuse to send them back, because by the end of the summer, it's my plan to be able to rock those puppies.

I guess that's about it for now. My daughter and her children live with me, so I need to go clean the kitchen from dinner, and help Mia with her homework. We're about to get this huge ice storm, so my daughter went to the grocery store, so we wouldn't have to worry about not having enough food. Plus, my grandson has bronchitis, so he will be home tomorrow. I feel kind of bad for him, because he's a big boy, and loves his mom mom's cooking. It's going to be a very rude awakening for him, when the menu changes. He's getting to be a very big boy, and he's only 11, so this change will definitely benefit him. I'm going to start incorporating the changes slowly, so hopefully, he won't notice. I want him to be healthy also. So it's going to be a win/win situation.

I can't believe that it's been almost 5 years. I decided, after I was treated so horribly, that maybe WLS wasn't for me. And then....it happened. I finally quit smoking, and I immediately gained 35 lbs. Because of the extra weight, I was in constant pain from my back. To the point where it's excruciating, at it's best. So I decided to go to the Institute of Bariatric surgery at Abington hospital. These docs are absolute wonderful! I had my EGD on 1/12/11, and they will be submitting to the insurance company today, for approval. I had initially thought about getting the Lapband, but after doing lots of research, and talking with lots of people, I think the Vertical Sleeve is best for me. I am sooooo excited and nervous. I could possibly have a surgery date by the end of the month!

I've been battling obesity for the better part of my life. The final straw was after I had my hysterectomy in 03. Since that time, I have gained approximately 50 lbs. And I can't get it off!!! The harder I try, the more I gain. I see this surgery as saving my life! I've done most of the homework, as I have been researching gastric bypass for almost a year.

1/7/05: Earlier this week, I called Univ. of PA to schedule an appt for a consult. They gave me a date of 4/13/05. I was a little disheartened, but that date was closer than most folks get. A gentleman by the name of Derek, told me to call him back that afternoon, and he would see if he could get me a closer appt. Well, I called this morning, and GUESS WHAT???? They gave me a new appt for 1/26/05!!!! Can you believe that? I was in absolute shock!!! I'm so excited.

1/24/05: Well, I now have an appt with Dr. Meliahan at Temple. I heard some things about Dr. Williams that made me cringe. So, I now have an appt at Temple on 2/4/05. I see my primary this evening, and I'm certain that I will get his blessing. We shall see. I just finished reading Carnie Wilson's Gut Feelings, and I'm now working on her next book, 'I'm still hungry'. I actually started to have reservations about having the surgery, but I think I'm back on track now. I think a lot of that is because I haven't signed on to this site for a while, so I've been somewhat isolated. This is a huge, huge decision, and I really hope and pray that I've made the right one. Maybe this is normal, I don't really know. Well, I'll keep you all updated on my progress.

1/24/05: I had my appt with my PCP, and he isn't as excited about my decision as I am. But nonetheless, he gave me his blessing anyway. With a great deal of hesitation. He said that he thought it was a very drastic step. I told him that I had done my homework, and that I knew that it was drastic, but that I was ready to make a change. So, my referral is a done deal, and he will be writing the letter to Dr. Meliahan. Here we go.

2/8/05: Well, I had my consult with Dr. Meilahn. What a wonderful man!! He hit it off instantly. He asked me what did I know about WLS. Since I have been researching this forever, I was able to pretty much tell him everything that he was supposed to be telling me. And of course, he asked me if I smoked. Unfortunately, I do. And I told him that I had heard (on this website) that he doesn't operate on smokers. He told me that information was correct. And then he proceeded to tell me why. He once had patient that smoked, and things did not go well at all. He ended up having to do a tracheotomy on this patient. So we talked for quite some time, and he agreed to take me on as a patient. So, I have something new to work on. I'm excited, and scared. It's real now!!! Some may think it's strange when I say that 'he agreed to take me as a patient'. Before he came into my exam room, he said he was seeing a patient that he had to ask to leave. He didn't go into great detail, for privacy reasons, but he did tell me that he can pretty much size a person up within 2 minutes of meeting them, and he decided that this person just wouldn't be a good patient for him. I appreciated his honesty. I think that it's just as important for a doctor to feel confident about his patients, as it is for patients to feel confident in their doctor. So, I'm on my way.

2/14/05: The most amazing thing happened over the weekend. I've really been stressing over this $600 program fee that I have to pay. Talk about a blessing!! I have a friend that I talk with on a regular basis, but I really don't see her much. She came to my house on Saturday, and gave me a check for the full amount. I was absolutely blown away!! She said that this was for my health, and that was more important to her than anything. I was in tears. So, I'll send in the check, and I'll be on my way. I can't believe that everything is coming together like this. It's like someone is leading the way. God is the driving force in my life, and I know now, more than ever, that that is the most important thing.

2/19/05: I am such a mess. I got the cashier's check today, to send to the surgeon, and I haven't done it yet. I just keep thinking, what if it isn't the right thing to do? What if something happens? Maybe I can lose weight on my own. I'm an absolute wreck. I guess because it's real now. Before, it was just a dream. I got my wellbutrin today. I'm supposed to start taking it Monday. That will help me to quit smoking. I'm feeling so many different things right now, I just don't know which end is up.

2/21/05: Well....I mailed the check to the doc last night. I guess there's no turning back now!!! The other night, I sent out a post, with all of the things that I was feeling at the moment. One of the responses that I got back was "sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith". Those words meant so very, very much to me. I bought my new house in July of 02. I was born and raised in the burbs, but then I moved to the city. It was what I could afford at the time. After 20 years, I moved back to the burbs. When my realtor told me that the owner of my new house had accepted my offer, I was scared to death!! I called my mom, and she said to me "well Annette, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith". It's because of those words, that I did move. It's been real tough, financially, but I love being closer to my family. So me having this surgery, is a leap of faith. I said in one of my earlier posts, that God was in control of my life. I guess I needed to be reminded of that, and I need to put my money where my mouth is. LOL. I'm inspired. But more importantly, I'm taking 'a leap of faith'.

5/16/05: It's been quite some time since I posted, and so very, very much has happened. Well, I got all of my bloodwork done, as well as my sleep study. Oddly enough, Dr. Meilahn didn't require that I get an EKG, stress test, etc. I was so close to the end of the testing. And then, on 5/3, I got some pretty upsetting news. The last of my testing was the pulmonary tests. I hit a huge snag, and I do mean huge. The pulmonologist clear me for surgery.
It seems that I have some sort of lung disease. My total lung capacity is much lower than the
average person's. My diffusion rate is at 33%, and a normal person's diffusion rate is 100%.
As a result, a tremendous strain has been put on my heart, because it has to work so much
harder to help my lungs. The good news is that it's not emphysema. The bad news is that they
aren't certain what it is. If they can't correct it, not only will I not be able to have the surgery, but
I won't be able to work either. I would be permanently disabled.
Things are pretty bad, and it's a potentially life threatening situation. They have me on theophylline,
as well as adivan. Apparently, stress makes the situation worse. Some days, I have such a hard time
breathing. It was actually so bad a few weeks ago, that my boyfriend had to take me to the ER. I didn't know
there was a real problem at that point. The pulmonary doc told me that God was really on my side,
because if I hadn't decided to have the surgery, I wouldn't have known just how serious this is, and
anything at all could have happened. So, I had an echocardiogram done last week, and today, I have a high resolution chest cat scan scheduled. On 5/20, I have to repeat my sleep study, and I'll be fitted for a bipap machine. Then, I go back to the pulmonologist on 5/31, and I'll find out what's wrong with me, and I'll have answers to all of my questions. I'm so sad that I can't have the surgery right now, but I have to find out what's wrong with me first, and get that treated before anything else.
I've been a wreck, and my darling boyfriend has been a total ass. Since I found this out on May 3, I've seen him about 3 times. He hasn't done much of anything to help me, since I found all of this out. I'm so disgusted with him right now, I can't even talk about it.
Well, I'll keep you all posted as my journey continues.

1/20/06:
It's been so very long since my past post. I didn't even realize how long it had been. Well, here goes.....
I went back to the pulmonologist at Temple, and come to find out, I do have emphysema.
However, the breathing problem that I was having is, in fact, stress induced. He asked me
to continue on the theophylline, because he thinks that it would really benefit me. Well,
that same day, I went up to see the Nurse practioner for Dr. Meilahn. She wanted to talk
to me, because some red flags came up during my psych eval. Apparently, they seem to
think that I have a drinking problem, and they want me to attend 4 consecutive AA meetings.
Interestingly enough, I have about 4-5 drinks a month. If they think that constitues a drinking
problem, then there are lots and lots of people in the world who need help. Next, they wanted me
to have 4 psychotherapy sessions. They were concerned about my depression, and they think it
needs to be treated with more than medication. Then, because I hadn't been insulted enough, they
made me sign a contract saying that I would do these things. I asked her if they made everyone sign
a contract, and she said no. I was floored!!!
Now, since I signed that contract, there have been all kinds of other things that have happened in my
life, and the surgery has taken a back seat. But I was thinking about it last night, and I feel like they
are being extremely judgemental, and I don't like that at all. So I may just take my test results, and go
see another surgeon. I wouldn't mind if the psychologist knew me well. then, she could have said
whatever she wanted, and I would have accepted that. But I didn't understand how I could talk to someone
that I had never met before, and they could make a judgement call like that. As far as I was concerned,
I think that's crap!!! I would have even accepted it if they made everyone sign a contract. And anyone that
knows me, knows that I don't take shit from anyone. The only reason that I took it that day, was because I
just found out that I had emphysema, and I was still pretty stunned from that. I guess I was in information
overload. So, I got over the initial shock, and I just became angry. Actually, I was pretty down about the whole situation, so for months and months, I did nothing. Well, I was talking to a friend of mine some months back, and she suggested that I go see the surgeon that she was seeing. Andre Castellanos. As a matter of fact, that next morning, she was checking in for surgery! I made an appointment. When I met this doctor, I just about fell in love with him! Now, I have another serious problem, which is abdominal adhesions from previous pelvic surgeries. Anyone who says that adhesions and scar tissue don't hurt, has no idea what they are talking about. My GYN told me that the only thing that would help me at this point, is surgery. So, Dr. Castellanos agreed to clean up the adhesions when I have my surgery. Well, I had to have another psych evaluation, and that went pretty well. Two weeks after that, I got a call from Dr. Castellanos, and he told me that he would like for me to have a full psychoanalysis. The only reason, is because of the tremendous amount of stress that I'm under. They didn't think that I have a drinking problem, nor do they think that I suffer from serious depression. Which is a good thing! I'm amazed that the evaluation that I received under Dr. Castellanos, was completely and totally different than the evaluation that I received under Dr. Meilahn. So I went and had another psych visit. It went so well, that I no longer take anti depressant meds, and the psych doc said that he saw no reason as to why I shouldn't have the surgery. I was fine!! What a relief that was to me, because I was really starting to doubt my own mental health, based on my first consultation. One of the things that I also need to do, is to have my pulmonary testing possibly repeated. Dr. C received all of my records from Dr. Meilahn, and because of the problems noted, they want me to meet with a pulmonologist at Hahnemann Hospital. The doc wants someone there to have first hand knowledge of my case, in the event that some special anesthesia will be needed. So, that's where I am. I'm so close, and yet so far. Believe it or not, my only concern is whether or not my insurance will approve me for the surgery. What I would really like to happen is for the doc to place my abdominal ahdesions as the primary reason, and the gastric bypass as secondary.
Well, I sent a bit of a nastygram to Dr. Meilhan, just explaining to him that I was not unhappy with him, but I was unhappy with the demeaning manner in which is P.A. spoke to me. It's so sad, because I do really like Dr. Meilahn, but I certainly don't want to seek the services of a surgeon, and I can't stand his staff.
So, I think I'm up to date on what's been going on. More than anything else, I'm really looking forward to not having to take Vicodin every day, for pain, as well as not being in pain.
I'll try to make a concerted effort to update my profile on more of a regular basis.