Ashley B.

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My Mom sucessfully had her lap band procedure done today and she's doing fine. =) I'm glad she's okay.

hey all...so my mom got approved to have her surgery on the 5th of this month and im experiencing a lot of emotions right now. i feel hurt, betrayed, a little bit selfish and jealous all at the same time. initally, going to the seminars to learn more about the lap band procedure was suppose to be for me. it was suppose to be about me and my mom was suppose to be there for support...only i dont feel like it's about me anymore. after the seminar she filled out her papers to have her consultation with the doctor and i thought to myself "i never thought she would consider getting this done." i mean i had to drag her to the seminar with me. she didn't want to go but i told her i needed her there for her support. honestly, at first it didn't bother me. i actually was looking forward to her having the procedure as well so that we could go through this together but unfortuately i wasn't approved for my surgery and she was. the other day i was thinking about it and it finally hit me and i began crying uncontrollably. i felt like i should be the one getting the surgery and not her. its so hard to watch someone else get what you've wanted for so long and be happy for them. i feel horrible for feeling this way because she's my mom and i should be happy for her and i should be able to support her but its just so hard for me. she doesn't even know how i feel about this. she asked me and i lied and told her that it doesn't bother me and that ill support her...i haven't lied to my mom in a long time. and the only person who knows how i truely feel about it is my grandma. she made me feel better about it though. she said that by her doing this she'll be able to loose weight to and that she'll be around longer to watch my brothers and i get married and to see her grandchildren grow up. after hearing that it made me feel a lot better. i do want my mom to be around longer and live a healthier life. but i want the same for myself. i learned that everything in life has it's process and my process to get my surgery done is just going to be a bit longer then my moms. im trying my best to be strong and stay positive and look forward to the future. im excited about my first visit to the nutritionist on the 17th. ill keep you posted about my mom and my "process".