Ashlie
This is a very serious step for me to take. I have been putting this off for quite some time. I have come to the realization that I am in fact morbidly obese and I will die if I continue down this road. I have no other option but to lose weight. Gaining weight cannot happen at this point. I am on the verge of depression, heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, and the worst of all infertility and quite possibly death. I hear of young adults having heart attacks all the time and that scares me so much. I do not want to die because of this disease. Obesity had controlled my life for far too long now and I want my life back.
Every minute of every day my size is at the forefront. It is all I think about and is a part of everything I do. When I go to the restroom I worry that I am going to break the toilet. (I have broken every toilet in my house already.) It is very difficult to tie my own shoes or cut my toe nails. When I take the bus to work no one can sit with me because I take up so much space. When I am in public people stare and say very mean things. Wearing a seat belt is so uncomfortable that I find myself not using them at all. I cannot stand very long because my feet hurt all the time. Walking up stairs is very difficult for me. My knees hurt and my lungs get very tight. I am not able to go an amusement park because I don’t fit on the rides. I am not able to do fun things like bungee jump, horseback ride, hike, or rollerblade because I am too heavy. I cannot fly anywhere because I do not fit in the plane seats. I cannot go to a concert, baseball game, or a play because I do not fit in the chairs. I can only shop at the plus size stores and I am now in the biggest size they carry so I am afraid if I gain anymore weight I will not be able to find clothes any longer.
My biggest motivation is having a family. I just married the most perfect man on July 12th 2008. I desperately want a family with him. I want to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be. My weight is going to interfere with that goal. I will not have the strength or energy to run after a little one. I want to be able to play and run and jump around with my children. I want to take them for a bike ride or to the park. At the point I am at right now I cannot even use a bike because I weigh too much. I also want to live a long life and watch them graduate, get married, have children, etc. I want to live as long as I can and this weight is going to kill me if I do not lose it. My grandmother died at the young age of 67 from weight related issues. (Heart Disease & Diabetes) I do not want that for myself.
I feel I have done all of my research and I am mentally ready for this leap. I have been reading about other people’s experiences with weight loss surgery on ObesityHelp.com. I have friends that have had the surgery and I have had conversations with them on what to expect after the surgery and how they have dealt with the changes. I understand that this is a life change. This surgery is a tool to get me on the right track and it is up to me to take full advantage of it. I understand that I will still have to watch what I eat and exercise regularly. The surgery will help me get to a healthy weight and it is my responsibility to keep myself there. My family and friends support my decision fully and have made a commitment to help me succeed.
