AsuraDunnigan

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I just wanted to check in and say I am still doing great.  I weighed in at 177lbs. this morning.   I feel great.  I wear medium shirts and size 10 pants.  This journey has been amazing.  I started at 314 lbs...I am still amazed by the transformation.   I am thinking about surgery to lift my Breast and tighten the skin on my arms, tummy, and thighs.

I am finally under 200 lbs. Wearing size 12/14. Feeling beautiful and getting lots of compliments. Thank you Lord!!!!

well my procedure was this past Tuesday. Everything seems to have gone well. I actually felt well enough to cook dinner for my family. I am going to be on a complete liquid diet for 3 weeks. I am very optimistic . and down 14 lbs since pre-op diet started.

well, finally i can report I am moving in the right direction.  Today I went to see my endocrinologist.  My A1C was 6.8 and although it has been lower in the past she was pleased.  All the blood work I had taken a couple weeks ago was great.  I was down to 231 lbs. BMI under 40 and although I know that is still over weight, it is definitely an improvement.  I have lost about 20 lbs since I was in her office this past July.  I am not scheduled to return until May 31st. 

I had diverticulitus a couple of weeks ago, which was a bummer.  I also began physical therapy for my cronic back/tailbone condition and my foot. (torn tendon).  I have not been working out at all.  I am in pain when I walk and when I am standing.  I thank everyday for the VSG, but ultimately I am in more pain now than pre op.

I am still wearing 16 pants and XL tops.  My measurements are about the same.  My lowest post surgery weight was 221 lbs, but that was just one day.  I am planning to reach my goals soon.  Taking the meds for ADHD has helped me tramendously.  I am no longer contantly focused on food and dieting.  Finally, I have been able to just relax and resist when needed and partake at other times.  I am very excited about the future.  Finally, really and truly hopeful.

It is very nice not to be the largest person in ther room all the time.  It is very nice to be able to shop in regular stores.  It is nice to be seen by people.  To be complimented daily, not just by people who knew me before, but also by strangers.  I'm complimented on my hair, make up, smile...  People give me eye contact now.  Men tell me that I am sexy.

I don't always carry the embarrassment with me; although I do take it with me sometimes.  I would do it all over again in the heartbeat.  My husband sometimes tell me that I don't resemble the person I was pre op.  He is referring to the confidence I have now.  Today, I take pride in my beauty.  I take time to look in the mirror, fix my hair, and apply make up.

Many times I don't tell people that I had WLS.  I know my surgery doesn't appear to be as successful as others.  I am overweight 2 years post op.  Often times I am feared that I will be viewed as a failure, but ultimately the weight loss has made such a wonderful difference in my life.  I am no longer just watching it pass by, but now I actually participate in my life. 

I prayed for a solution to my problem.  And my God has answered my prayers.  Thank you God.

Well, I always seem to be Gung Ho with losing weight, but when I am offered a baked good or I have an opportunity to eat something fried I take it.  I have been pretty down on myself.  I have tried every diet known to man and had weight loss surgery still to end up still obese.  Well, a couple months ago I decided to see a therapist and although she is great I still was not improving or making changes.  Actually, I was getting worse.  My weight went up to 255 lbs.  A lot of my clothes became tight and I would pretty much avoid them.  I then decided to see a psychiatrist to address my ADHD.  I had been previously diagnosed, but discontinued taking medication when pregnant with my middle child (now 6 years old).  So, I started taking Adderall extended about a week ago and I am down to 245 lbs.  I only feel mildly focused, but focused enough to make better food choices.  I am no longer constantly obsessing about food.  I think I may be ok.  I am very hopeful.

Since my last Blog entry I have met with a nutritionist and I am now seeing a therapist.  I am trying to work out my issues.  I have been consistently meeting with the therapist and I am considering trying OA again.  (  I didn't really get it last time).  I am still hovering around 255 (I was 254.2 this morning).  Yesterday was a really good day for me.  I stayed on track the entire day and I felt great when I woke up.  I went out last night and danced for hours.

Often times, I feel like I am the only VSG failure.  I am working to just handle one day at a time.  I understand I have a long way to go even to meet my short-term goal.  OH  you have been awesome and supportive.  I generally do not visit the site anymore or post out of shame.

I know if I don't get a handle on it;  my quality of life will be in the toilet and my life span will be short.

Today's affirmation:  Today I will listen to my body.  I will treat it with love and respect.

I weighed in at 255lbs this morning (fully clothed).  Today a scheduled an appointment with my nutritionist and a counselor that specializes in eating disorders.  I feel like I am doing something right.  I am also tracking today.  Thank you all for the support.

Well, I have been very hesitant to write about my wls as it seems I am not living up to my expectations.  I have been really struggling, returned to pre op bad habits.  I don't feel like I have much restriction, in fact I can eat almost as much as before.  I know that a lot of it is me, but I have been unsucessful at my attempts to get to goal...I have even gained weight over the winter.  It seems as if it may not be meant to happen for me.  I was exercising regularly, then I developed dizziness and low blood pressure.  I was riding my exercise bike several times per week, but my tailbone now protrudes and it is very painful.   I was even interested in walking, but my left foot has been hurting for months.  I have been resistant to posting on here because it seems like I am the only one experiencing anything like this.  I know that if I want things to change, I am going to have to change it.  I have been calling my surgeon's office for support for several months, but I have not spoken with anyone other than the receptionist.  I just feel like a failure.  My size 16 pants are now tight.  I was hoping to be in a 10 by now.  If anyone has had any similar issues with the vsg please reply.  I am thinking of a revision to the DS.  Tell me what you guys think.

Well, I figured that you guys deserved an update so here it goes.  I admit that I have been emotionally taxed to say the least.  Over the past month I have found myself really struggling.  I have been eating like the old me...not counting calories, water, or protein.  Eating whatever I thought I wanted.  Consuming much too much.  I guess I had almost given up. 

I am still wearing a 16 most of the time.  Sometimes 14s and other times 18s.  I have fluctuated between 226-232 this month.  I am not doing any structured exercise program.  I have fallen back into old habits.  Oh, and it seems that I can eat much more than I would like. 

So, I prayed for years for God to help me to lose the weight  I have lost a good bit, but if I don't change something soon I am gonna be right where I started.  I decidied that I would do this master cleanse diet where you have this concoction of lemon juice, water, organic maple syrup, and cayene peper with a laxative tea in the evening.  Well,  I guess that probably will not help me in the long term.  So, I decided that I was gonna start on protein shakes again.  I am not sure how I will do and how my head hunger will play out.  I know I just still have so far to go.  I wanna be healthy.  I know that most of you will suggest that I see a therapist.  I have considered it, but haven't made a call yet.  I know that I would benefit from some face to face OA meetings, but I have only made one in the year since I realized that I have an eating addiction.  I really need to get control over this monster.

So, 13 months and no real progress in the last 7 months.  I am almost embarrassed to tell people I had VSG, due to my poor progress.  I really seemed like I started well.  How did I end up here?  I struggle every day!

Well, I have been gone from the site for a month or two.  Where do I start?  I have lost almost 90 lbs depending on which day you weigh.  This morning I weighed in at 226 lbs.  I went for my check up last week and the doctor pretty much said they were idsappointed with my weight loss and the y like to see 100 lbs loss in the first year.  They want me to come back in 6 months and they want my weight loss to be 150 lbs then.  I was embarrassed and frustrated to be in the doctor's office and hear the disappointment.
I started school in July which has taken time and focus off of my weight loss.  I began taking Celexa, but not consistently. 

My weight loss has been very minimal over the last 6 months.  I have eaten poorly sometimes.  My planned exercise is minimal as well.   I have low blood pressure so I feel dizzy quite a bit and my tailbone hurts daily due to lack of padding.  I find it difficult to avoid certain foods and I have made some poor food choices.  I am not sure if I have good restriciton in my sleeve.  I stopped calculating protein and water.

I am pleased with the amount of weight that I have lost, but I would like to lose another 50-60 lbs.  I wear a 16 pants and XL shirt.  I look much better and I am in much better physical health.

I am rededicating myself to eating better and becoming even more active.  I am going to focus more on water intake, protein intake and reduce carbs.  I am going to begin by walking daily a least 1 mile.  I am gonna restart logging my foods daily.