Auroro13

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First off, thank you to my readers :) Your support is incredible!

My last suture healed about 2 weeks ago, then a car accident on July 29th has left my husband and I in pain (no yoga right now). However, being diligent in eating and walking, I'm still losing and an officially down 90lbs since I started this journey in February.

The car accident has surprisingly done one thing I didn't expect: my anxiety levels have gone down. I guess knowing the worst case scenarios, I know we're alive. We may not have a car anymore, have to bus it everywhere (more walking though, yay!) and have physio for a bit, we're alive. I continue to loss weight, I am healthier as each day passes. My husband is still with me. If that guy had aimed differently...but he didn't.

It's amazing that in this journey of losing weight, different things change in not only attitude toward ourselves, but in the rest of life. I am on a journey with hills and valleys and right now I am in a valley after the steep hill of that accident. I'm getting healing and comfort from so many people in my life, and I'm still remembering that I need to make sure and keep on the "healing" of this weight loss. To see the changes in my mental and physical well being. I keep donating all of my bigger clothes, I have been given smaller clothes to help me through. 

Speaking of the donating bigger clothes, when going through my closet I've allowed myself to try on the smaller clothes and allow myself to look at my shape. I have never done that. The natural curves (and some of the bulky ones that are shrinking), the way the fabric feels, and do a little twirl when I have a dress on. My husband just smiles watching me.

I had a shirt on this week that fit me and asked him how I looked. He liked the shirt, but has been so used to me hiding in larger clothes (and not being able to keep up with myself shrinking), he didn't know what to think. But then he admitted, I do look good and didn't want others to pay attention, lol! That made me feel amazing! I still have so much weight to take off, but I feel attractive and sexy.

I hope this valley stays awhile, I really need it.

I had my gall bladder taken out due to all of the many small gallstones that decided to attack me. However, I got lazy. This past week I lost .5lbs. I should've started working out again, just walking. I have one suture not closing, so Yoga I have to put off until then (I've ripped it open just by having pants on and a bandage on...so doing any stretching scares me right now.

But, I know that I'm the only person that can win this one...I will get back going this week and aim for 3lbs :) I'm so close to 100lbs and its aching me.

It is hard, but it takes all of the tension away and leaves that amazing soreness of a good workout. I was only able to do it 2x this past week and just my usual walking during bus stops. But, I lost 5lbs this week, which is the most I have lost in one week. I think I found the best thing for me right now. You can stop and breathe if it gets too hard...I have a DVD as I feel I should do this at home until I feel comfortable elsewhere. It's awesome.

Down 77lbs since February 3rd, that is 48lbs post surgery...so happy to see the scale go down each week, even just 3lbs adds up :)

I have been having a pain in my side for a few weeks and this past Tuesday it was unbearable. I have gall bladder sludge balls. It is as gross as it sounds. I will be meeting with a surgeon to take out my gall bladder. I knew this was a possibility, but was hoping I would skip it.

I am almost down 60lbs!! I cannot believe it. So, having a gall bladder removal or keeping the weight on...I choose the surgery again and again.

So, two weeks ago, I was disappointed...today I'm so much better. 20lbs lost since surgery, a total of 49lbs in this journey. I cannot be more proud of the decision I made. I'm sure two more weeks I will be somewhere else emotionally (love being a woman, lol). I do thank all of you for putting the encouragement out there, it surely makes a difference :)

I don't know if I should be. I had surgery on March 3rd. Couldn't walk that fast until last week. It has been 24 days...I have lost all of 8 pounds. Granted, I did lose 29 pounds before surgery, but I thought I would lose this faster. I've read different blogs and some people who have lost a lot before the surgery don't after and vice versa.

I just feel like crying. I know I should be happy I'm seeing the numbers go down.

I had my surgery on March 3rd. From what I have heard, my surgery went very well. There were no complications. I was told that it usually takes 2.5hrs to 3hrs, I was done in 2hrs and 15min. The time after the surgery, I have some memories. I had a brief recollection of moving to the bed from the operating table. I remember asking for help for the pain in recovery. I remember my husband and a friend being in my room when I showed up. I was able to look at the friend and say "hi" before I went to sleep again. 

Drinking has been fine. I cannot tolerate broth. I brought that up. Tea, jello, diluted juice and water were all fine. I am on the extended liquid diet which includes stained cream soup, cream of wheat (half and half with milk), and other really liquidy stuff. I'm doing well.

I did try coffee this morning, my stomach did not like it, so I will stick with tea for now. I did find, however, that milk with my tea is almost too rich. So, I'm learning about all of the taste changes they told us about in class.

After doing 4 walks in the hospital on the second day there, I figured I would be fine once I got home...I was wrong. I'm in this lazy routine, but I have to get to walking like usual. I was doing one walk Thursday and Friday, so the goal is 3 today, since I know I can do it. They are small, 10 - 15min walks, as it takes forever to get anywhere. Slow and steady is important.

Pain has been okay. I got a cold somewhere between the hospital and home, so the coughing was hurting me, but we have that under control now and I'm feeling better. Sleeping has not been the easiest. I feel my CPAP is pushing too much air. I am usually a side sleeper, so sleeping on my back, even propped up, is not comfortable.

My husband has been so helpful. I can only bend so far right now. He's been so encouraging with my walking and helping me keep on track with eating.

Well, now that I can actually concentrate, I will try and keep more updates going. :)

Monday, March 3rd, is my scheduled date for surgery. I have been on the optifast shake for three weeks now, heading on the home stretch. Toronto Western Hospital is where I will be having my surgery. I'm nervous and excited. My family, friends that do know, and my  husband have been extremely supportive since this journey began in January 2013. I apparently have moved through the program quickly, but I do follow rules very well. Well, now that I have a place to share my thoughts on this and read others, I feel I have a good outlet to express myself when I don't feel like being a burden on everyone else :)