AWorkInProgress

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It's been a bit of time since my last post.  So far I'm still going strong.  I stepped on the scale for the first time in a couple of months and was really happy with my continued weight loss. I have now lost 110 lbs since my pre-op weight. I imagined that if I was lucky enough to lost 100lbs it would take me a year or two.  To have lost it in 4 months shows me what an amazing decision it was to have weight loss surgery.  My quality of life has improved enormously - I'm so much more mobile (not even noticing hen I walk a mile, whereas before I was huffing and puffing after a few steps, literally).  My cholesterol is looking great. I fit in chairs where I didn't before.  I don't feel like the object of judgement all of the time. I'm no longer in constant pain - in my knees, ankles, or back.  And most importantly, I don't feel like I've suffered to get here.  The surgery hasn't caused any problems for me (e.g., dumping, getting sick) - I just feel "fine" all of the time. So it's not aversive when I eat, it's just that I'm fine when I don't eat more than a bit.  Social gatherings are still very hard, especially when there's tons of amazing food options.  But I've been able to stick to the program and avoid food that would take me away from my goals.  I told my wife I wish I had gotten this surgery years ago, but at the same time, perhaps I wouldn't have been as able to take advantage of the opportunity at another point in my life.  It really doesn't fix the problem by itself.  Every day you have to make the right decisions. But the surgery makes the decisions possible, and that has been the difference.  I am of course cautiously optimistic however - many people regain weight that they lose during these early months.  I very much hope that as the impact of the surgery wears off, I can continue to make the good decisions that has gotten me to this point.  

 Still going strong, and feeling so good about my decision to have surgery.  I have not weighed myself since my last doctor's appointment, but I am feeling great.  I can walk without pain, I have energy for anything I'm supposed to be doing, and I fit better in seats. I've been going to the gym every other night, and it's feeling great.  Staying within the diet hasn't been a problem  - it's subtle, I'm not always walking around feeling full - but I never seem to want any more than I'm allowed to eat.  I basically feel just right from a hunger standpoint.  I hear from people who have had the surgery a while ago that after 6 months the hunger comes back again and it's similar to the hunger struggle from before.  I am really anxious about that, and wish I could be assured that it would be as 'easy' as it is now, forever.  But that's the neurotic side of me.  I'm really feeling great!!!

It's been a bit over a month, and I've lost 55 lbs.  Clothes have been too baggy, and I've had to buy new clothes. I've also been able to fit into old clothes that I outgrew over the past couple of years as I gained weight.  It's feeling pretty great.  And the little things are feeling great too -- like fitting into seats without feeling and looking uncomfortable. I'm more confident, and I've been working out at the gym.  The other day I went to a restaurant for the first time -- I had to go for work.  I was worried, but I got salmon, and asked for no dressing, butter, or oil, and I just avoided all of the sides.  I ate about half of it, and felt very satisfied.  I was glad it went well -- that I didn't get sick, and also that it didn't feel awkward or embarrassing making a special request in the order.  So far I'm feeling really great- and I already would really recommend this surgery to anyone who is in a similar position as I was --super morbidly obese, stuck, on a really terrible health trajectory, and with a lot to live for.  I have the most beautiful 14 month old daughter, and I have been able to roll around on the floor with her and take her for walks, and spend time outside with her.  I truly feel that within one month this surgery has helped me be a better dad.   

I must say- as trite as it sounds, and as often as they repeat it -- this surgery really is a tool. I've been surprised at how much will power is still involved.  I could make really bad decisions. I think I could tolerate more food than I'm eating, and other foods that are not on the recommended diet.  But I'm feeling just right.  I really hope this lasts.  The anxious side of me fears that the strongest effects of surgery will not last after some time, and it'll just be me and my will power again.  And I've let myself down so many times before.  So I'm cautiously optimistic, but I'm feeling better than I have in forever.  At the risk of sounding cheesy, this month has really felt like a gift. Here's to hoping I can keep this up. 

I had my post-op appointment with the surgeon today.  42 lbs lost. That is from my pre-op visit, which was actually 5 weeks ago.  I'm feeling really good about that number.  I asked all of my neurotic questions, and it sounds like everything is fine.  I hate crushing my pills. They taste awful so I'll have to figure out how to get them down a bit better. 

I did formal exercise last night for the first time since the surgery (and actually for the first time in several years).  I spent 20 minutes on an elliptical trainer. It felt great, and I had my music blasting in my headphones.  I'm feeling optimistic (or at least cautiously optimistic).  I think I'm one-fifth of the way to my goal weight.  Hopefully I can keep this up.  So far so good.

 I'm 12 days post-op, feeling real good.  No pain, and I've actually been walking further than I was before surgery.  And no huffing and puffing!  My pants are already falling off and I've had to go through my closet to find old clothes.  I"m hesitant to buy too many new clothes because I don't want to spend a lot of money and then need to buy new clothes again in two weeks.  I go back to work tomorrow and I'm really bummed about that.  Although I've been bored bumming around the house and taking it easy these past two weeks, now that I'm headed back I'm kind of mopey.  Oh well, I'm sure I'll bounce right back. 

So far so good, and I advance to soft foods in two days (I'm still on all-liquids right now). I haven't yet had any complications or upset stomachs, and although that's great, the neurotic side of me fears that this means the surgery didn't take.  I've also been surprised that I've been longing for food - people in the groups I've been attending have said that they couldn't even think about food when they were in the first few weeks post-op.   I know that's ridiculous, but I worry if it all comes down to will-power, I've disappointed myself many times over the years. 

Other than these neurotic anxieties, I am feeling very good physically and I know I've lost weight.  I return to the surgeon in another week and a half, and I'll weigh in then. I'm curious how much I've lost, but I don't want to check it out on another scale so that I know the weight loss measured reflects measurement on the same scale.  

My wife has been absolutely amazing! She's taken on such a burden in caring for our 13 month old, and I haven't been able to help with much because I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. But hopefully I can start helping out again soon.

No regrets so far and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic! 

I got home from the hospital yesterday and I'm doing pretty well.  The surgery went well - 2 hours and no complications.  The incisions seem to be healing well (9 incisions), and I'm tolerating 8 oz of crystal light per hour just fine.  They already have me on protein shakes (2-3/day) and although yesterday I had horrible diarrhea (sorry too much information I know) today I seem to be tolerating it well. I also switched to a lactose free shake, and was told sometimes people become lactose intolerant after RNY surgery.  

The worst pain of the surgery was the 24 hour nasal-gastro tube I had in. That was really uncomfortable-- and the 24 hour catheter (again - sorry too much information).  Stomach pain has not been too bad.  The super neurotic side of me has worried that if I'm able to tolerate things like shakes, then maybe the surgery didn't work too well, but the nurses were making fun of me for worrying that I didn't have any digestive complications yet.  The Dr said that will likely change when I move to solids in a couple of weeks.   

My wife and parents have been amazing, although I'm not as bedridden as I thought I would be. For a couple of days I was pretty stiff and sore, but now I'm pretty mobile.  I'm ust not allowed to lift anything over ten pounds - and that's tough because my 13 month old baby is 20 lbs. But she seems to get that I'm not supposed to pick her up and isn't whining for that.  I wound up telling most of my close friends, and that has been a real relief.  I was considering not telling them because I'm embarrassed that I needed this procedure, but everyone was really amazing.  When you get other surgeries, like gall bladder removed or hernia repair, it's not apparent to everyone afterwards, but unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) after this surgery it's apparent to everyone that your body is changing.  I don't want to be like Star Jones and lie to people - it makes it seem like a more shameful thing.  People seem to be responding really maturely and kindly so far.  I hope that's consistent with how people are talking with each other about it when I'm not there.

So far, no regrets, and just very hopeful this makes an enormous dent in my weight problem.  My only neurotic fear right now is that it has not made me sufficiently full, and that I'll still be able to eat whatever I want.  But so far I've just had water, crystal light, and protein shakes-- and not even as many as they set as my goal. And so I think I'm probably doing just fine.  

Ok - I'll post again soon.  Thanks for listening to my story.  

 So my surgery is tomorrow - I'm feeling great, a little anxious though.  I wish I could just fastforward through the following few days. I'm sure it'll be quite an adventure. Hopefully not too painful.  And hopefully I've got no regrets.   I'll try to update soon, but not sure how soon.  I've been so inspired by everyone, and I'm looking forward to hopefully inspiring other people in the future. Good night! :)

I'm getting pretty close and feeling pretty excited.  I started my 14-day pre-op liver-shrinking diet and I already lost a bunch of weight.  Amazing how much weight you can lose right away.  It hasn't been terrible, and has me wondering why I couldn't do this before.  I'm feeling much more confident now going into surgery, having some positive will-power experience on my way in. I shared my upcoming surgery with 4 people at work, and a couple of friends.  I've been really pleasantly surprised how positive and supportive everyone has been.  Everyone seems to know a couple of people who had WLS.    Everyone on this site is so inspiring and I am looking forward to hopefully inspiring other people as well. I'm finding myself browsing through people's profiles more and more as I get closer to surgery.  

 Just finished first day of my 14 day pre-op diet.  Wasn't terrible, but wasn't easy at all. I've been daydreaming of all sorts of amazing food I wish I had gotten in before the diet.  But I'm optimistic, and excited about having surgery in two weeks.  

 Just a hair over 2 weeks to go.  I completed my pre-op evaluation, met with anesthesia, and met with my surgeon for a couple of minutes.  Also met with my surgeon's nursing staff.  Next appointment is showing up on the morning of the surgery.  Wow - getting close.  I've considerably changed my diet, and I'm ready to begin the 14-day pre-op liver shrinking diet on Tuesday.  Been meeting some inspiring people in a couple of groups I've attended, and in the waiting room of my surgeon.  People seem to have lost a truly unbelievable amount of weight.  I hope I can be inspiring to others some day.  I am looking forward to getting my life back.