awynndream

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Seriously I've heard about mini-wows before. I've read them on here, but haven't had one yet. I mean I've had moments of happy but nothing that really made me realize that there is a difference in me, other then the portion control, eating changes and occasional throwing up. So today I decided that I'll go for a walk by myself. I power walked 9 blocks and then came back. Before the surgery and plus 55 lbs I couldn't walk around the block without getting tired. I also walked slowly before.

I am tired now but not exhausted tired, just tired tired.

Yesterday I walked around a trail in Windsor and the dog and John had a hard time keeping up with me.

YAY! Oh I also uploaded some new after photos today. My family says they see a difference but I don't see much of one.

Okay I am just going to let it all out because I don't know who would understand this and I am tired and cranky now.

My boyfriend John is a good guy, but now that I've had the surgery he thinks that it's over. I mean he thinks all the hard stuff is over and doesn't understand why it's still hard for me to have self confidence, and to clean the entire house, and to walk ten miles. He has the mentality that acts like he thinks I have the body of a skinny person and I am just lazy. I worked out on wii fit for 15 minutes and I am tired, and he just said to me that I didn't do enough and that I shouldn't be complaining about being tired and stuff, but I am tired. Also I went to work today for the first time. I work on and off at a quilt shop helping out a friend. Sometimes I get paid in money (when she can afford it) and sometimes I get paid in quilting fabrics and supplies (which means I don't have to buy it). He said to me today that it isn't real work and that because I don't get paid for it that means it's fun time and not work time (even though I spent the time there working). I said to him does that mean that when I do house work that means it's fun time because I don't get paid to do it.

I had the surgery february 25th which is 6 and a half weeks ago and he thinks that now my whole life should be organized right. I feel like I am still healing and I am still new to this. I am trying to figure out if I should go to school in september or wait, and he doesn't understand why it's a hard decision for me. We got into a fight after I sat at my computer to play a game after I worked out today. He said that it's a waste of time when I could be exercising since I only did 15 minutes of wii fit today. I am so stressed out.

Seriously I recommend this game to everyone. You can go as hard or as slow as you want and for as long which is awesome, and there is all sorts of fun exercise games. Plus the balance board that works with the game is also a scale which goes to 330lbs which is better then my home scale does.

It's also a lot of fun to laugh at other people when they look silly doing some of the activities. It's $108 ish canadian so it's expensive and you have to have the wii but I decided to do this instead of joining a gym right away and I am glad because I am self concious and working out in my living room is so much easier then going to the gym and feeling funny.

I do wii fit for half hour to fourty five minutes a day and also take my pup for a good walk. I have lost 47lbs so far and am feeling good, fitting into my old clothes and smiling more.

I think I would recommend this surgery to anyone who had the ability to follow the rules of the pouch. I've thrown up a few times but haven't dumped cus I haven't eaten sugar and am staying as far away from it as possible. Milk goes down good, and I found out that I like tofu, just don't know how to cook it.

I have found that my hormones have been a little crazy.... okay like ravenous wolf crazy but my bf is being very supportive about this. Right after the surgery I broke out in the worst case of acne I've ever had, but it's cleared up. Also a week out of surgery I got my little red friend which I hadn't gotten in like a year so that was good.

Hiya,

OMG I woke up this morning and for a laugh thought I'd try on the summer dresses I bought last year, and a couple of them fit. I couldn't believe it. So now just pray for warm weather so that I can wear them. Woohoo!

On another note, I think I need to get more protein. I am getting around 50 - 60 grams a day but I don't think that's good enough.

I love the cafe latte flavor of protein drink, but I don't like a lot of other ones....

I am down to 316.4lbs.. yay....

now I am going out to try some sushimi.... I wonder how that'll work out.... but I love sushi... just no seaweed salad... I think they put sugar in it.

Miso soup is so good and healthy...

bye

I have an appointment at the doctor's office on Thursday, but I couldn't get an appointment for the dietician in Toronto on the same day unless it was for 8 am, which wouldn't be a problem except I can't afford to stay overnight in Toronto, and we can't afford to rent a car for more then one day. I am so stressed out. We don't get any money for a month and a half, and so I don't know what to do. We spent a ton of money on the surgery with renting cars, and doggie sitters, and hotels and now I am stressed out.

On the plus side I am doing pretty good health wise, I've thrown up a few times but nothing terribly serious.

I went on a picnic with Moose and John yesterday. It was great. I am on pureed foods so I had to get everything all organized but it was nice sitting outside in the sun. The waterfront was a little cold but still okay, and we sat watching the ice flows go down the river between tiny portions of food. It was kinda cool cus I bought a few fancy greek things along and had a bite of each but not too much. Then we went for a walk and saw all the birds. There are tons of them.

okay yeah... eggs are yucky. The didn't go down well and made my pouch upset.

Today is day 1 of pureed foods... okay so I was supposed to wait until tommorrow but I am so sick of eating mush that I couldn't do it another day.... atleast with pureed foods the menu is a little more extensive.

I keep getting the hiccups.... ahhhh..

I left Toronto on Friday and am in Owen Sound. The drive actually was okay, no pain, just the occasional discomfort.

Haven't been doing much, just visiting family. It is a little stressful changing my mindset on food though.

My mom is grinding up food so that I can freeze it and take it home with me to Windsor. She's been so helpful, for the most part. I am lucky to have her.

Okay so today is the day when I am supposed to take the tape off my holes.... I took one off and it was slightly icky... but then it dried a bit and it looks okay now, it's just a little puffy and red. John (my boyfriend) is freaking out and we got into a huge yelling match about it. He wanted me to go to the hospital, and I decided to call the doctor's office to see what they said. He thinks it's infected, I don't know.... it doesn't hurt, smell funny, and it isn't pus-y, it had a little pus on it at first but now it's dry.

So I called the doctor's office and the secretary called the doctor then called me back and said I should clean it lightly and I asked with what and now I am waiting for her to call back again.

I know john's just worried but I don't want to have to go to the hospital and wait for 5 hours just to be told to call my doctor.... or to let it sit for a couple of days....

I am so stressed....

I didn't give very many details last time, so I thought I'd elaborate and update. YAY!

I have had one bm after surgery and It was fine. That was 2 days ago, but I think it's normal for them to be so far inbetween because I am not really eating that much.

I found these awesome little sake cups at a store at vaughn mills outlet mall that are the perfect amount of food to eat, and in style too.

I also found these cute little rolled up face clothes that look like sushi, which I am going to give to my sisters when I go up north..... to the great frozen tundra.... okay not that north, but norther then here.

I had one nurse at the hospital who was flipping horrible.... like I think maybe she had mood swings or something because one minute she'd be stabbing me with needles (harder then the other nurses would stab me), and then next she'd be sweetly chatting with us in the room.... it was a bit unnerving... She tried to take my bloodpressure while I was in the washroom and it was a small washroom, so we didn't all fit (we being her, me and the IV pole attached to me). She didn't even knock on the bathroom door, just opened it wide and theres her and the bloodpressure machine and she's putting the thing around my arm and on my finger and I am thinking to myself "I wonder how often they clean these finger things". So after that she was trying to fit herself int he bathroom with us trying to hear my heart, and I was stooped over the toilet and she complained that I wasn't breathing deep enough and that I'd be dying of pneumonia if I coiuldn't breath deeper. I tried to explain to her that I was on the toilet and it would be easier if I could do this on the bed, but she didn't listen and left.

Then at the end when I was about to leave she said my bloodtests said my potassium was too low, and she made it seem like it was a really serious thing, that it was a life/death thing, and then said I'd have to wait around for 2 hours so they could find yogurt to mix it with. Anyways i went back to the room and 10 mins later another nurse came in and gave me the yogurt, but lost the potassium so they had to hunt that down. Before I left they gave me a sheet to take to the lab on monday to get bloodwork done.

Anyways I didn't really mind that but then today the doctor got back to me about the results of the blood work which he had no idea about, and said that when the nurse was overreacting about the potassium I had only been 0.1 under the normal amount which wasn't that big of a deal and that the monday tests showed me at normal levels.

Anyways I am going to stop typing and eat now.