Three days and counting..kind of long sorry

Aug 07, 2009

Ok, I had to vent so I apologize for the length.  But if you get thru it thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.

I've gotten all my clearances, lost my weight required for my insurance and then some and have the support of selected family and friends.  It's funny because there are some who say well if you lost x amount of pounds pre-surgery you shouldn't have your surgery.  They just don't get it and at this point I don't have time to explain.
The cool thing is that I truly think my stomach is shrinking..I tried to eat and only eat a quarter of what I have.  I'm starting to use my youngest's IKEA plates that are much smaller so that I'm not loading my plate up with a bunch of  food.  I'm proud of myself on that aspect
The past weeks well few months have been interesting to say the least.  Let me just say all the praises be to the Creator.  HE has heard my cries.  About six months ago I thought I was having a really bad break out of hives (I've been VERY stressed).  Went to my primary doctor and he said it was hives and prescribed some meds. They didn't work all they did was make me sleepy.  Thought I had RA turned out I have OA & my joints were killing me.  During that time my now ex husband got mad at me for taking him to court for spousal and child support so he served me with custody (joint he couldn't handle our little one full time) and later with divorce papers.   PLUS I have been unemployed for going on two years now and only working part-time.  My background is Event and Project Management (downsized in 07).  SOOO the bills are adding up and my checking account is getting smaller.  Mortgage, car note, every day bills etc.  So to say that I was stressed is an understatement.  But if nothing else my struggle/journey has brought me closer in my Walk with God.  So fast forward to three weeks ago and after a night of hives ALL over I decide to flip my mattress.  Guess what I find.....FREAKIN BED BUGS!!  Freaked me out.  I immediately grabbed some raid and Clorox and started spraying.  I think my bedroom was a toxic hue because I was trying to kill em dead.  LOL  I opened all the windows in my bedroom and went to the 2nd floor (I have a three story) and slept in my daughters' room.  Woke up to no hives the for the first time in abut six months.  I continued spraying with a spray for bedbugs that I purchased at Bed, Bath & Beyond along with a $90 mattress cover that was designed for bedbugs.  So I'm thinking that may help and I went two weeks without sleeping in my bed and tried to sleep on my mattress dozed off to find a bed bug on my thigh.  Freaked out again.  Moved into the guest bedroom.  lol  Well the owner of the salon and I were in the salon by ourselves Tuesday and I was calling around trying to find someone to come in and treat my room.  So she asked me why don't I just get a new mattress (trust me I have thought about it but..) and I told her that at that moment I had like $20 to my name (I have liquidated everything during my marriage and divorce - if I do this again I pray that I marry a MAN not a little boy trying to pass as a man) and couldn't afford it.  I usually do not get upset in the workplace or at least I never let anyone see me upset.  But for some reason the tears began to flow and I couldn't stop.  She listened to me and said she would talk to me later.  So after she left I just started praying.  She called me about an hour later and said to close the shop and meet her at the mattress store.  Ya'll she had purchased a brand new pillow top Queen sized mattress set for me.   God is GOOD all the time!!  It's being delivered Monday.  I had someone from Orkin come in and give me an est.  He said $350 for my bedroom and the hallway.  My concern was that since my cousin and I put out my mattress set that my entire house would somehow get them because my bedroom is on the 3rd floor.  So I prayed on it again and scheduled another exterminator to come in Thursday morning. The guy was really nice and said for $400 they would do my entire house.  Then for an additional $100 they would come back and service my house for a year for free for ANY pest problem (ants, mice, etc) I have.  So you know I robbed peter to pay paul and signed the contract.  They sent out a really nice older gentleman (as he told me was turning 55 years young on my Re-Born Day 8/11 lol) and he said a quick prayer for me and got to work.  Later he told me to keep everything in prayer.  I told him what happened and he said your young what are you like 25-28 I told him to add at least 12 years to that number.  He was like well baby your around the age of my girlfriend.  I couldn't do anything but laugh.  He was so sweet and said he would be back if I had any problems.   They say bedbugs can last up to 6-18 months without noticing them so I truly think that my ex-husband brought them back with him after one of his "business" trips.  I don't have proof but I'm JUST saying.  lol 
I'm in NJ at my parents house and going to start my liquid diet tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous but feeling good about my decision to be banded.  My best friend told me that one of our mutual friends asked her if I was ready for all the attention I'm going to be getting once I start losing the weight.  She said Keisha is a really pretty girl and once she gets her weight together the men are going to be going crazy.  lol  That made my day however, recently I've been meeting a lot of men who LOVE my thickness and curves.  So it's sooooooo not about doing it for a man or anyone else for that matter.  It's some thing I have to do for Keisha.  I have always been curvy but not like this. It's funny because when I'm getting dressed in my mind I look good but when I see my pictures I'm like WHAT was I thinking!!  I can't wait until my college homecoming South Carolina State University.  I look at my pictures from last year and although I had fun I was so sad because I was so big.  When I first went to college everyone knew me because I used to wear half shirts all the time.  My abs were not a six back but they were nice.  Fast forward almost 15 years later and I'm HUGE.  So I can't wait to go back with my new look and confidence .  I had my house sprayed, my brand new bed will be delivered Monday and tomorrow night I'm going to wash all my clothes.  So that when I come home from the hospital all I have to do is climb in bed.  My honey-do brought my small fridge up from the 1st floor last weekend when he was down.  So I'm going to stock it so that I don't have to run up and down my stairs as much for the first two days.  My oldest is coming home from my parents house with me tomorrow and my youngest will be with my ex husband for the week and our new puppy, Mango will be with my cousin and being spoiled by her two kids for the week.  Prayefully, my Honey-Do will be able to come down from NY for a few days to just love on me.  I know I'm going to be needing some extra TLC.    I'm just excited at being able to sleep for a day or two without having to get up and take care of someone.  I can just focus on me and my recovery.
I'm sorry this  is so long.  I've been meaning to write for the longest time but the last time I did I hit the wrong key and lost EVERYTHING I guess I got discouraged and just was content to read everyone else's blogs.  I promise to do better.  But I do want to say before ending this novella is that I'm sooooooooo glad and thankful for this site and the new friends I've made here.   I feel like I can totally be me and no one is going to judge me.  Just like at the mandatory support meetings I had to attend.  I loved them because the seats were bigger and I never felt like I had to hold in my stomach. 
Thank you for everything.  LOVE YOU ALL and good look on current and future new journeys.  May God Continue to Bless you!!!
Peaceful journeys, many blessings and SOUL
Ok off to kick my daughter's butt on the Wii  lol

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