BarbDahl77
It has been forever and many, many days…
Oct 20, 2012
On Thursday October 18th I went back to Tri-State Bariatrics. I met with Jody [NP], Lisa [dietician] & Stacy [patient navigator]. This was the second time I visited Tri-State Bariatrics. I first went to one of their fast-track\accelerated Wednesday sessions in April 2011. I originally was really impressed by the staff their and decided back in 2011 that Tri-State would be my “new” WLS “home“. The staff was very friendly and caring and seemed genuine. They didn’t seem like they were only being nice because they were being paid to be, if you know what I mean. And since I am a self-pay\cash patient, I was grateful that I found a program within 45 minutes of my home that wasn’t going to cost me an arm & a leg to get healthy.
Let me back up a little. In December 2009 I started with another surgeons office out of Westchester. I really liked the surgeon and two of the lab techs in his office. Quite honestly, the rest of the staff was a bit uppity and had “Westchesteritis”. Meaning they were a bunch of snots. I can say this as I am originally from Westchester, myself J I went all the hoops, had my clearances done. Had a surgery date scheduled {12/14/10 - a year to the day that I first met the surgeon] and then I started to have second thoughts… Not about the surgery itself; but about the cost of the surgery. If I lost my job for whatever reason, or my company continued to downsize in the NY area and reduced it’s number of remote employees - I could stand to lose my home because I would not be able to make my loan payments on top of my other living expenses. These were very real concerns I needed to entertain before I started to hand over checks that amounted to $30,000 when it was all said and done. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t. I wanted too, but I couldn’t be that selfish. There was just entirely to much at stake. I could not lose my house. So after being a little down in the eating dumps for the first part of 2011, I decided to look around at other local\regional practices and see what their self-pay fee was. And one of the practices I checked out happened to be Tri-State Bariatrics. This wasn’t the first time I had heard of Tri-State, though.
In the summer of 2010, I was in a local medical building for a doctor appointment and I saw a printed sign that said something like ‘Tri-State Bariatrics this way’ with an arrow point around the corner. I pointed the sign out to my Mom and said hmmm, I need to google them and check them out. But at the time their site only said that they performed the RNY & the Lap-Band. So I wasn’t interested. But when I was doing my research in Spring 2011 Tri-State’s website had a blurb on it indicating that they were now performing the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy! I was so excited that they were now doing the VSG! So I called to find out a little about their program and what their fee was and it was reasonable, so I went to a fast-track\accelerated Wednesday session. Then as it always kinda happens in my life\family, other stuff gets in the way and the idea of surgery got tabled.
Then in the middle of the Summer of 2011 I heard from the Westchester surgeons sister program that goes out of Putnam. They gave me a price of $16,000. This fee was supposed to be all inclusive. But my life is what it is and I couldn’t make a move at that time. On September 18th I decided to email Putnam and see if their fee was still the same. The lady there called me back the following day and tried to tell me it was, but she said our last self-pay sleeve ran $20,.000. So to figure “at least” that. Yeah, ok. 
She said she would have the woman at the surgeons office give me a call to start coordinating things.
So with that so not helpful information from the other office, I called Tri-State and set-up an appointment. I let them know that I had been a former patient and had started the process with another practice and rethought it due to the cost, and with them and life got in the way, but that if their fee was still the same or still “reasonable”, I would like to come back and start again. Since I had gone through so much of the process already, they let me know I didn’t need to attend an information session, which was great! With my grandmothers health issues, it is hard to get out, as care needs to be coordinated, so that was wonderful. I had my first appointments scheduled for October 5th, but I needed to reschedule that as my Grandmothers new at home doctor was coming for an appointment that day. So I rescheduled to October 18th. I have been in something of a more positive head space since I scheduled my appointment. Although I was very disappointed I needed to reschedule.
When I went to my appointment on Thursday, I was having such a bit of anxiety about going to the appointment. Why, I don’t know as this was really my third time trying this. I had never had anxiety about it all before. But just like when my Mom and I visited Tri-State in April 2011 the staff was friendly and personable. They really helped to put me at ease. The appointments went very well. I am already scheduled for my psych clearance with Dr. Allison, my second dietician appointment with Lisa and my meet and greet with Dr. Weiss. I am also scheduled for my UGI series and I have an appointment scheduled with my Gastroenterologist to setup my endoscopy. I just need to call on Monday to see about setting up my appointment for my blood draw - as the first two labs I’ve tried won’t take me [one is nonpar with my insurance and the second lab is part of a medical group and since the ordering doctor isn’t a part of their group and neither in my PCP, I can’t have my blood drawn there.] My last, and biggest, hurdle to clear will be my cardiac clearance. I will be reaching out to my cardiologists office in December to setup an appointment the week of Christmas. I’ll have my echo & EKG then. But I know he will make me go for a MUGA scan to get me cleared. That is what he did the last time and since I am, currently anyway, a good 60 pound heavier and not exercising, I don’t foresee him clearing me easily. Dr. N. said my echo was shadowy so he wanted to make sure I had good cardiac out put, etc. Hence the MUGA, and my ejection fraction was with normal limits, but that was in October 2010. So yeah, a-repeating-we-will-go. The end of December will give me some time to get my act back together and I will have lost some weight by then and will have made friends, once again, with the treadmill. I just hope my insurance will approve the MUGA scan without to much hassle. At the time I originally had the test performed the insurance I had didn’t require auth for that procedure, but the insurance I have no does…blah! And the company that authorizes that tests can be a bunch of stinkers at times!!!! So I really hope I don’t have a hard time with it. It is bad enough my insurance is a High Deductible Health Plan with a $2000 deductible and a $2000 co-pay AND THEN stuff is covered at 80%. @@ And WLS is a strict written exclusion from my companies insurance policy.
I am excited to be moving forward, again, with this process. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that the other stuff with the other office and at the other times I was looking into this didn’t work out for a reason. It stinks that I need to pay for all of this stuff again, testing wise, since I have that lovely HDHP insurance, but oh well. It is what it is.
After my appointment, I went to Wal-Mart, got my Flu shot and picked up some of the supplements I need to start taking. I am excited again. I was in a really good place, for me anyway, two years ago. I had lost down to 330 pounds and things were looking like it might work out. And then I just wasn’t [in a good place] and then it just all sorta fell away and I stopped caring and I started to eat, and eat poorly and not exercise. And it all fell to hell. And I gained the 60 pounds, and then some, back. I know I have lost weight because in the summer I was just getting a big “E” on my scale 
Then after I called Tri-State and started to be conscious of the volume of crap I was putting into my mouth, I was actually able to weigh! 
Going back to the Westchester\Putnam people for a minute…Needless to say the last time I heard from them was in the middle of September, and here we sit a month later and I haven’t heard boo out of either the surgeons office in Westchester, or from the Hospital liaison in Putnam. FFFFFFF 
So last night I “officially” broke-up with them. It has definitely been a long time coming. The "relationship" has been over for quiet sometime, I just couldn't bring myself to take that last "final" step. But, FFFFFFFF that I'm done playing games. I know I deserve better. I deleted the doctor’s phone number out of my cell phone, I deleted any links pertaining to either Westchester or Putnam out of my favorites, I deleted the phone number of a support group leader that had ties to the Westchester group [when I went, it was the guy who co-ran the group and provided the space, the leader, my mom and me. And the “leader” was rude to my Mom because she had questions. Um, later for you lady!] My final move in “breaking-up” with my old surgeons office was deleting my review of them off of here! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF them, indeed!! They don’t deserve my money! The surgeon may be excellent, but his staff does not know how to treat people and they play a game of price gouging. So that office has reached the status of those “Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”.
Trying to Name the Unnamed Feeling...
Oct 01, 2010
I have been in something of a blah mood this week…and part of me thinks I might have figured out partially why…Or at least put a name to that unnamed feeling…or concern…What if I have this surgery and it doesn’t change anything? What if I am still as unhappy as I am now? I don’t need to spend nearly $30,000 and be miserable. I mean, I’ve lost 55lbs since May, and I am happier to the extent that I am more mobile and can do more things – walk, get around, etc. Last year, I never would have gone to the farm. I would have given my Mom the money to take the kids [my “nieces”] and told her to have fun and tell me all about it. I was the one who suggested it. We’ve been there twice, and I want to go back once more time before I closes for the season on Halloween. I guess I am worried that I won’t have any friends @ 130-150ish pounds, just like I didn’t @ 392. I work in a home office, so I don’t see anyone. I don’t leave my house most days. Except to go to dr’s appointments as of late. I have been to two support group meetings so far, and I am the youngest one there probably by about at least 10 years, and everyone is married. The people I hang out with the most are my Mom and my almost 16 year old niece. Part of me is afraid that after surgery, and I lose a good chunk of my weight, the 16 yo may not want to hang out with me anymore. She has her own issues with weight [insert rant on her useless parents here]. And she is close to, or is 200lbs. At the farm, she wouldn’t go down the big inflatable or go on the go-karts. I finally was able to get her to tell me why, and it was what I feared it was – she was afraid they would give out/not support her weight the way they should. So I am afraid for how me going from being two of her, to being less then her, is going to effect our relationship… She was born when I was 17. She really is more like my daughter then anything else. There really isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this kid, so to even think that there might be a strain in our relationship makes me sick to my stomach…
But yeah, I just got sidetracked in my thoughts and tears…but going back to my original thoughts…My family just isn't/doesn’t/is incapable of doing “happy”. I don’t know if it is a genetic defect within all of us or if it is punishment that has been enacted on us for some ancestors indiscretions, or what the frig it is…but we don’t do “happy”…and, and I don’t know…It sucks, I know that much. I know they say you make your own happiness. And I am trying to do that. And having surgery is a tremedous step in that direction, but I am just so afraid that like everything else it will just be a colossal amount of wasted time and energy and money...because once something is broke and damaged, even after it is “fixed” it is still somewhat damaged. And damaged goods are always left in the reject and slightly irregular pile.
One of Those Crappy Weeks...
Oct 01, 2010
I don’t come here as much as I used to a few months ago. Back then I would come here a few times a day, everyday, and I would spend a few hours here in the evenings, everyday. Then I found a way to be able to have surgery, so for my own sanity, I would say since August, I have tried to stop obsessing about this whole process as much as I can and part of that has involved staying away from the site a bit. I was never one to post frequently. It is just not in my nature. I am an intensely private person, which comes from how I grew up. I couldn’t talk about 97% of the things that went on in my home or how I felt. Old habits die hard, I still don’t like to talk much. Well, I have no problem talking…but I don’t like talking much about myself. I prefer “just talking” in general, or having others talk.
The last few days have been difficult for some reason. My want for food has been “up”. Last night my old “friend” insatiable hunger showed up for a visit. I was like a bottomless pit. It was beyond horrible. I don’t think I have been as hungry as I was last night since April. And back in April it was still a food free-for-all. I now know I did myself no favors by having a piece of mint fudge [from the farm] and some Chinese food for dinner on Saturday night when we got home from the farm. I guess I let a big whammie down on myself and let the evil carbie cravings out of the bag and now that they have been let lose - I am left to fight them back down.
Cardio Clearance Drama
Sep 10, 2010
Gosh, it’s a good thing I lurk more then post – I’m longwinded!! lol Sorry…
I was just wondering if anyone else had this issue while trying to secure their cardiology clearance. The echo comes out “clean”, but they still require you to have additional testing?
I had my echo on 9/1 and I went for my f/u appointment and consult yesterday [9/9]. This doctor was someone I had seen previously in August – December 2006. I actually wound up having a cardiac cath in August 2006 because I had weird chest pains. The cath came back spotless, as did the VQ scan – it turns out I just had a bad case of costochondritis.
Needless to say, there were no “issues” with my echo results, but there were areas that they were not able to visualize all that well due to my weight. I believe he referred to them as soft tissue shadows. So he is ordering a MUGA scan. Then when I come in for the f/u after the MUGA, he is going to do an EKG. I swear all these doctors must think we have really deep pockets and that we are made of money!!
I am alternating between angry [oh boy, was I angry last night], frustrated , depressed and defeated.
And it is also kinda funny, four years ago he was pushing WLS. Yesterday, when I told him why I was there [for a WLS cardio clearance] he was almost like reluctant. I am not certain if this might be because I am not going with the program that is run out of the hospital he is affiliated with or what. Right after he asked who I was going with he started to go on and on about the surgical risks, etc.
Really, doc? Let’s take a look at this - risks from a surgery that will save my life and hopefully give me another GOOD 30-40+ years, as opposed to the eh 30 years I’ve already had. Or the risks involved in me staying where/how I am now and see if I’m around in 15 years… We know there are risks involved in this process…We are even made to sign a piece of paper saying that we are aware of ALL the possible risks/outcomes of surgery… I know he is just trying to be thorough and do his job. And I do appreciate that. I know everything worth having is worth working for and fighting for, but why does it always have to be so hard and always have to be such a struggle? For once I’d like things to be a little less difficult…lol But I really think that is to much to ask for, though. ::sigh::
The two consults that I thought were going to be the relatively easier ones to secure – the endo and cardio – are costing me a bloody small fortune and giving me stress. Tests, tests and more tests. And the two that I thought might be a little more challenging to secure – the pulmo & psych [I was afraid I’d get nervous and all that stuff…] were easy-peasy. Both secured in one visit each.
Now I am starting to wonder if a 11/11 surgery date is even still possible…
Had a Pity Party in August...
Sep 07, 2010
I really haven’t been here in the last few weeks. My heart just hasn’t been in it – and the scale unfortunately showed it. I went up a whole 16lbs from my weight on 8/10/2010!! I know some of it was edema, but still – SO NOT NECESSARY!! But my little pity party has been over for a week now. So I am back fully on track. I have been doing what I am supposed to be doing, and some of the weight has started to come off. So it is time to start spending a little more time here again and get myself back fully on track and get myself back into gear. If all goes well I will be having surgery in 65 days – 11/11/2010. Psych & Pulmonary clearances were a piece of cake. Go for my first nut visit 9/14 & hopefully my second one on 10/5, That would satisfy nutritional consults. And I am going to go to my support group meetings on those same days – so that would satisfy my group requirements, as well. The only “issue” is seeming to be my Endo clearance. She isn’t super happy with my sugar at the moment. My A1c, in the beginning of August ’10, was 8.7. Now I know that is really kinda stinky. And I also know that the more controlled my sugar is, the better my healing will be after surgery, etc. but considering that in Dec ’09 my A1c was 11.1. I am kinda happy with my sugar as it is showing a definite improvement. Dr. S. no, not so much happy! She changed my meds from metaglip 5-500 2 pills, 2x a day to Metformin 1000mg. 1 pill 2x a day and Glipizde 5mg 1 pill 2x a day. So what I am taking now is basically very similar to what I was before, but it is unbound and I am also taking 10mg less of Glip for now. Dr. S. thinks Met is like close to the gold standard in treatment – so we will see. I go for blood work on 10/5, then have another f/u on 10/13. Hopefully she will clear me then. If she doesn’t, I do not think I will be having surgery 11/11/2010...
An Update...
Aug 18, 2010
A Little Background Info: I have no options through work to have surgery as WLS is an excluded benefit. Also taking a loan or a hardship out of my 401(k) is also not an option as that is not a benefit on our policy – what a great company I work for!! So I was totally out on both of those counts. In the end of May 2010 my Mom applied for a loan through her credit union and she was denied. My poor Momma was devastated when she got the denial letter and when called to find out what happened/why. When I say devastated, I really mean it. She was crying like something really bad happened – like I thought someone was in the hospital or worse, had died. L I wasn’t terribly surprised that we were denied and had been trying to prepare the both of us for the “no”. It was A LOT of money, but it was a starting point. Then we were talking after that about what/where to try next and where we could/try to get the money. The next reasonable option was for me to see about taking out a loan in my own name. I took a look my finances and they aren’t horrible, but I took a little of the standing money I do have in my savings and paid one credit card off, to bring my debt a little lower. Then in early June I went to one of the local credit unions and opened a savings account with them, with the intentions of going back after the 4th of July to apply for a loan for surgery. My Mother and I had also considered and discussed the possibility that I might be turned down for a loan [I filed bankruptcy in June 2003] and if I was turned down, my Grandmother might consider possibly being a cosigner on a loan for me. My Mom said she thought my G-ma would have no problem with that, but she couldn’t guarantee that and I would have to speak to my G-ma about that myself.
Now we are all “caught up” to where I am going to start from below...And now the darn Internet is back up…Grrr...Ok back to work for the moment. This story is "To be continued..." very soon…
Really.Bad.Day.
May 05, 2010
Or why I even let it bother me for that matter...
I already pretty much knew the answer before the question was asked anyway...
I had called my 401k company last Friday and the rep told me that it appeared that there was no loan or hardship clause on our accounts. She thought this was strange, but possible, and advised that I double check with the person who oversees our accounts to verify if this information is correct. Well this morning I emailed the head of HR [umm, no offense to any HR people, but in my experiences HR people are about as useful as dog poop on the bottom of your shoe...] and well that kinda was a waste of my time. Not even two minutes later I received an email back that said that the rep did provide me with correct information and that the only way that an employee could access funds in their accounts was if 1. they were of retirement age or 2. they resigned from the company. I have to say option two is starting to look more and more appealing EVERY.FREAKING.DAY. I really am getting tired of working for a company that
's on its employees at every single turn. These scumbags don't give an inch anymore. I have worked for my company for nine years. When I started back in the day, it was a fairly* decent place to work, and considering it was my first "real" job it worked. I should have realized and been smart enough to get out of dodge when was hired at one dollar amount, and then three weeks later they were hiring people to do the same job that I was at a full dollar hire. And no, I was never compensated, or brought up to scale. But that manager was a bit of a bitch and had control issues.
The thought of changing jobs bites. I like 95% of my job. I've made a few really good friends over the years and I enjoy working with them. I know I'll still be friends with them when I leave. The problem is I just got to comfortable. It was convenient. The problem is, I am still comfortable and it is still way convenient, but it is getting to the point that there just really is not benefit in the job anymore. Virtually usless medical insurance. $2,000 deductible and then a $2,000 co-pay. Yeah, that $4,000 I had to pay out of pocket. At least with the insurance we had last year, it was the $4,000 then you were 'fully covered'. A brief benefits summary I was looking at the other day gives the impression that once you meet your $4,000 OOP, services are only covered at 80%. And all this is is only for in-network providers. Out of network providers is $8,000 out of pocket. And any type of weight loss surgery is excluded. But smoking cessation help is included.
I guess I shouldn't feel so bad. I was talking to a friend of mine this afternoon and told her that we can't touch of money, even in the event of like an emergency. And she said she knew. She said she said that last week she had contacted the 401k company because she needs to get a a new [used] car because her car is kinda on its last legs and she hit the same brick wall I did. At least she does real estate and she may* have a deal closing soon, so she may be coming into some money by July. Hopefully her car will hold out that long!
Needless to say, my form to change my 401k election is all filled out and ready to go! I would have turned it in today, but um, like I said HR is a bunch of dinks, especially the guy in my office. He would lose it and I'd be screwed until September...
Oh well, back to the drawing board...
I had planned on calling my surgeons office back today and inquiring about financing. I had receive a followup type call from them during the last week of March. I wasn't in the mood, emotionally, to deal with the surgery I can't have people, so I didn't answer. Then I had an upper respiratory infection for two weeks. Then I called last week and the woman who called me was on vacation. After all that
this morning I was to upset, to angry, to depressed, to frustrated, to 
to call and speak with someone and try to [hope to] remain rational and 'together'. Hopefully I can do that tomorrow. Today was just a struggle to stay the full day at work...
