Pearl Best

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To all the newbies, and oldies

I am sitting here thinking about my journey. I have had a very very short Journey. Trust me many people work for years to get were I am today. I along the way have had many ups and downs. And many times I just wanted to throw in the towel, I would get so depressed. Some days. I Could not look at the boards, to be honest at one point I could not even open the I GOT A DATE post. I feel so petty about that but I was so into me that I had a very hard time. I do believe in the support groups that I have attended, they not only helped me mentally but they also reinforced my faith. Also the board is great but I feel we need the human touch also. The Dr.s, Nurses, Nutritionists, and staff held me together and made me jump hoops that I thought what why???? But I did it, and I am a much better person for it. They do not tell us we have to do this only to make sure we are ready but to make sure that it will lower our complication rates. Sure things happen; a person that I know had a very bad thing to her. And she did everything Our Surgeon asked. Thank God Dr. Glass has his hands blessed because she could have died. But he came back from his vacation that’s rite off his vacation and lead the way to her being healthy.

Ok so let’s get real here…. You cannot tell me that when a person says I was so excited I almost lit up a smoke. Is not an addictive behavior. We all have them, we all hate them, and we all fight them, day after day. I have many addictive behaviors and smoking has been a long time friend. Some people drink, do drugs, gossip, eat, the OH board for goodness sakes, I could go on and on. These behaviors are hard to beat. For instance my foster mother smoked for a few years when it was the cool thing to do. She had to quit because dad said he would not marry her if she didn’t. So she did!!! That was 35 years ago and guesses what she says every now and then something will trigger her to want one. But she will not, not because she doesn’t want to, because of dad. She has something to stop the trigger. Many Many years of reminding herself that this is not were she wants to go. That is what I feel this surgery is about, a tool to remember not to go back to those addictive behaviors. I believe this to be true.

So I am now 3 shakes away from the big day. And as I sit here I wonder, were I would be without the surgery. But most of all I wonder were I would be without everyone on this board. I have met so many caring people here. And yes some of you were harsh but felt you needed to be. I feel that I have a true family of sorts with you all. We can’t all agree all the time, but if I needed you you were there. I also feel that if I need you in the future you will be there. So I guess what I am saying is Thank You everyone for being my family.

Don’t worry about me I will be in very good hands and you had better get the bench ready cause I a common…..

Well the liquid diet is going ok. I never relized how much I ate in the evenings. I am still getting the FEED ME  FEED ME but I let it pass. My daughter and I have been butting heads for the past few days. I cant get her to do a dang thing. She is so rude with me so I just quit talking to her and told her when she changes her ways I will talk to her again. I just dont need the teen age crap rite now. I just feel like I should run away sometimes. 
Ahhh Welll being a mother can be a whole nother story. I have a few fears and that is the needles, that they use for the IV and the blood. my veins roll, so they have to stick me several times. OUCH. I asked Carol if they give you a little nip before doing this but she has not gotten back to me. I sure hope so. They always say oh I can get it and then 20 mins later they are still trying. AGGGH. I know I am a weired nut but that is my fear as of rite now.

Well I only have 12 days till surgery. The LD is going well until my daughter makes popcorn. I hav eto leave the house because I want it so bad. But other then that it is going well. I have no problem getting my shakes in. On the other hand in the emotion department... Well today I am a roller coaster, tears one min. laughing the next. Most people say that this is normal but whew!!! Oh I am sure this to will pass. I had to email the clinic today I had some questions. I am so happy that I can email anytime and know they will get back to me. I cant say what a good team Dr. Glass has. At one point I had thought about going to another clinic. I am so glad that I changed my mind...

The clinic called this morning and moved my date up to August 7th 3 weeks early. I'm going to have to write later I just cant sit still rite now.

August 29th 2007 midmorning
It seems like I have worked on this forever, but it has not been all that long. So I will make it a short month and a half till surgery. I have so many things that I want to get done before the surgery. Because I know me and I would be out there the next day planting a garden or something. So now is the time to kick it in gear. Please if you are reading this pray for me on August 29th 2007

Yep on Tuesday I called the Insurance company. Because I was going out of town for almost a week, and just could not wait that long. The Lady put me on hold ahd when she came back she said a letter was sent to Carol at the clinic. I said well what did the letter say. She put me back on hold for a lifetime or it felt that way anyhow. When she came back on she said yep you are approved. I was so happy I just wanted to yell it from the roof tops.
Because of my happiness, I may have lost a friend. She was very upset that she saw it on the board before I told her. I tried to contac her but she will not write back. I am not sure if she is mad that I didnt let her know first, or if she was upset that I got approved and her journey has been so hard... I almost feel like I should have not told anyone. And just kept it to myself. Because I feel so bad for her. I dont know I will have to work this out somehow.

Well here I sit waiting!!! The clinic sent it all into insurance on the 26th so I have been waiting since Monday. I called today but there is still no decision. They have till the 10th of July to make that decision. They did tell me some good news that they follow Medicares guidelines. So as far as I can read this it is covered!!! It is just a matter for them to get the paperwork to the clinic. I hate this wait all I am doing is eating, day and night.. I dont understand why they put people thru all of this, it cant be good for us. Thank goodness I dont have to lose any weight before surgery or I would fail for sure.

Well I had my appt. today with Dr. Glass he was running late. I hope that wont happen on the day of surgery, or I will be a nut case. Everything went well I think, he was happy about my not smoking. We decided on the lap rny, he will do that unless he needs to open me up. Talked to the business lady and she said it would be faxed to insurance in about a week. So now all I have to do is wait. Something that I am not good at. I looked online for my insurance an to me it looks like everything will be a go. Now Dr. Glass said surgery will be in August or September. I dont want to wait that long. I hope insurance gets back to them rite away then maybe they can fit me in.

Well today started off with a bang. I called Dr. Glass office with a question. Kristin picked up the phone if I could come in this wednesday at noon!!!! Well I could not believe it almost a month sooner. So I will have the appt and they can send in the paper work to the insurance company. This was truly a blessing to get in so quick.

Well I went to my last meeting with Brad. He said that I am a very good candiate for the surgery. I was able to get a appt; with Dr. glass on July 16th and that seems like a life time away. But what do you do? Dr. Glass is going on vacation so I guess I just sit hear and wait.