wow! five years later!

May 23, 2015

I can't believe it's actually been that long! Things totally fell apart when my dad died in 2011. A week prior I had hernia surgery and got 13 staples. A combination of the physical and emotional, led me back down that dark path, to which I haven't recovered yet. My mom died March 2014 and my only living immediate family is my brother, who has threatened me and emotionally and verbally abused me.

I am still in school full time (still trying to finish my Community Social Worker Program) and a year late. I keep trying to finish it, but shit keeps happening. I go back and forth between being determined to loose the 60lbs I've gained and get healthy again, to punishing myself and not giving a crap, so I binge eat and don't exercise.

Damn I wish I could do a do over! First thing I would do is NOT to touch ANY sugar!!! I don't dump! It went from only 1tbs will satisfy me, to now I can eat half the pie, a whole chocolate bar, etc

I can go all day without eating (I sleep late) or can't eat (feel nausea) and then I get hunger y at night! Bad thing!

well this is short and sweet today! 

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