beachybikegirl
Month 3
Sep 20, 2015
There are so many thoughts about this journey so far. It is both fantastic & hard, easy yet difficult, rewarding and frustrating. It is truly a roller-coaster of emotions as you navigate life post surgery. I find watching Youtubers on WLS and visiting the OH forums helps me navigate all the emotions that come up through this journey.
I’ve settled into a pretty good eating routine:
7am- Breakfast-Protein shake for breakfast / Weekends I do a protein bar
10am- take half of my gummy vitamins for the day
12:30- Lunch -a chicken taco cheese beans, maybe guac –No Tortilla of course
3:30pm- I take the 2nd half of my gummy vitamins for the day
5:30- snack protein bar or cheese ,salami, almond crackers and about 9 pistachios
8:30-Dinner – 4 oz of chicken or another taco –no tortilla, I have found if I get chicken tacos at Chipotle or whatever fast fresh Mexican grill, they usually serve you 3 tacos of which I can eat 1 & ½ then I save the other have for my next meal. I could just order a bowl but then you end up with so much food. The three taco system really works for me, I always skip eating the tortilla but the tortilla does help portion control.
I started Month 3 at 212 I was hoping to end it in Onederland but fell a little short and ended the month at 202. I talked to my counselor this week and told her I had become a little obsessed with the numbers. I am such a competitive person; I always look at other’s WLS stats and compare myself. My first month seems on par with others but my months 2 & 3 seem a little lighter compared to most at only 10 lbs each. It’s also weird to me to feel frustrated at myself, for goodness sakes I’ve never lost 45lbs in one go. Anyway my counselor said to stay off the scale. While I can’t do that at least once a week I get on it to see where I am, but I am willing to let go of my comparison and study of other people’s numbers. I think one youtuber said something like Comparison will just steal your joy, it’s so true!!! So I did not hit my personal goal for this month but I still lost 10 lbs. I could be in Onederland by next week, so who cares if it takes a little longer then I wished for it to be, as long as I am doing my best to use my tool to lose the weight I will get there.
NSV’s
I feel so much freer now. When I walk down the hallways at school, I am not hating myself for what I look like because I feel pretty darn good!
A few people have stopped me in the hallway and said, “Hey have you lost weight? Like a lot?” I smile and say yes, which it is fine, it’s great to have people notice but it’s weird that it keeps coming out as a question. The other day one girl stopped me and said “Hey I love your hair, what’s different?” UMMM NOTHING IS DIFFERENT ABOUT MY HAIR I’VE LOST 45lbs! I have pretty nice hair; it’s the one thing I actually like about myself. Here is what I believe is happening, 45 lbs heavier, I was invisible, I moved through the world as an invisible heavy person. Now almost ½ way to my goal I have lost my invisibility cloak. It is pretty funny to me how taking up less space in the world has made me more noticeable. I continue to be hopeful that this will really work!!! HOPEFUL & GRATEFUL! 
