Jessica A.

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Been a long time since Ive been on here, seems I may need it more now than ever. Im 41/2  years out and seems with a job change

(sitting on my arse for 12 hr shifts) is kicking my ass!!! Ive gained 22lbs back. Its amazing to me how before at 328lbs I didnt feel that 22lbs creep on...but now...NOW I DO..and sadly I sit crap talking myself cause I feel so fat again. Can anyone relate?

I refuse to go back, and Im trying to get the positivity back so I dont give up on myself!! HELP!

Well,

hmm..

Im loosing slowly..thats what I think..but eh, 35lbs in 2 months is still pretty kick ass if ya ask me. I dont get to work out like Id like to. Real life is kickin my ass that way..BUT, Im finally over the "hard stuff" If ya know what I mean..the adjusting, the ups and downs arent as steep. I dont see a difference in my appearance..but others do..lol Apperently Im "melting" from top to bottom..Id like to add my butt is shrinking!

HOLY CRAPOLA MY BUTT IS SHRINKING! LOL

While this journey has only just begun, I find it changing my life in so many ways. My confidence is WAY up.

I start a new "workshop" that I was chosen for out of a gazillion other people because they saw such potential in me..(I never woulda went for it had I not had this surgery) This workshop will get me a GREAT job when its over..with THEIR help even!!!

My amazing boyfriend decided hes been taking me forgranted..and came back stronger and more incredibly loving and considerate than ever...( we were apart for a little while, he didnt even know I had the surgery til after..he was super supportive and loved me & met me at my highest weight)

Meet Chuck. Hes my "Him"

Seems like when you want something bad enough..YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

So,to all you "hopefuls" out there regarding your surgery..

Stay positive.

See the results.

Feel the emotions of the "approval"

See your NEW YOU in your head when you think about the future..

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Well, had surgery wed the 27th...and got to go home the NEXT DAY!!!

Im not finding it to hard,no regrets...just gettin used to seeing little things and not being able to EAT..lol its hard on your head.

I went to see my DR today..and Ive already lost 15lbs in ONE WEEK!

HOLY SHIAAAT!!!

I highly reccomend Barix in Ypsilanti to ANYONE!!

AMAZING staff and I mean AMAZING!

ok,still hurts to sit up like this..but wanted to update!

:)

So...last I wrote in here...My Dr had FINALLY signed the paperwork...and sent it off to OHIP...well...Let me tell ya..NATURALLY Ohip wanted more info...**Banged head on wall**

So I started to panic....

Given the way things had gone..I was expecting them to say..DONT THINK SO LADY!! Get on with your fat self..and screw off.

The girls at the Drs Office are THE BEST!! They called and said they were sending EVERYTHING..and even sent a letter from DR NUNN's Office on file.

A week later I went to the drs with my mom..to have her blood test done..and thought..hmm Ill just go see...the girl on the desk wasnt someone I knew...and I asked if there was anything in my file from ohip..and when I said my name..she said..OH YOUR JESSICA!? the girls have had your file out for luck for 3 days!! I think there is something there..I just put it in..

and sure as shit...

FULL APPROVAL!!!

I cried right there.

I just had my PATS yesterday...Full clearance. Even my gallbladder is happy and gets to stay and live in my new body.

Surgery set for Aug 27th!!

Im a little nervous..but at the same time..I CANT FREAKING WAIT..because I know with the tools..and the BIGGEST tool of all...I WILL GET TO LIVE A GREAT NEW LIFE!!!

YAY!!!!!!

SWEET JESUS...HE SIGNED!

And no word of a lie...when I saw him signing the paperwork I said HEY! and said I AM SO GONNA KISS YOU!! and he laughed and I put both hands onhis face and KISSED HIM RIGHT ON THE LIPS! ahahahaha!!!

PLEASE OHIP DONT LET ME DOWN!!!

Drs appointment today...I started this journey in Nov..jumped thru hoops..cried..lost hope..and today..I HAVE MY PAPERWORK READY...Its the 3rd try..HE BETTER SIGN IT! Im afraid if he doesnt I wont continue to fight. The feeling I have when its over...destroys me.

Please pray for me today.

I hate doing this here...but man...Im feeling soo freakin down,so discouraged....ME!? I dont get like this.

Maybe Im just not meant to have it?

Ok so when I started this journey I promised myself I was gonna be as honest as I could be. Well. Like alot of  others, I wavered some from the "diet" over the holidays....and I gained a few lbs back. Im PISSED at myself bigtime...I never even really went all haywire..but apperently..it was enough that my body said..Ill hold you accountable miss jessica!!

I did some crying today...and its had me feelin pretty dang bummered out...I am starting a water areobics class on monday..and I will do it EVERYDAY cept weekends..only cause my boy is home.

GOSH DURN IT PEOPLE!

I CAN FREAKING DO THIS!!

I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!

*BANGS HEAD ON SCREEN*

ps..Im gaggin the water down lately...Im not sure why..its just been hard to get it all in.

ick.