beckie
This was me the night before surgery....UGH! Look like a damn line backer.
Side view... YUCK!!!!
Hello all... Thanks for taking the time to get to know me a little. My name is Rebecca but most call me Beckie. I am 26 and .. you guessed it.... overweight. I think I have battled weight all my life except when what I ate was not in my control (infancy). I also had the mind frame that I was bigger than I was... looking back now, I would love to be that size! LOL Funny how that works. I went to the doctor on 5/28/04 because I wanted to lose weight. "Consult a physician before dieting".. there I was... 26 and weighing 245ish. Heart broken! Well, he took my blood pressure and didnt say anything and proceeded to switch arms.. then went back to the first arm... finally he said "We are going to do an EKG, it is just procedure, dont worry"... umm .. oK! I am now terrified laying on the bed and tears are just steadily falling. EKG was fine but my BP was 158/110. Now I was on 2 BP meds. when we find out I am diabetic (Pre) so now I am going to the hospital for lab work and drinking the gross orange drink. Thought I would pass out with all that sugar. So.. now I am on Glucophage. Ok.. enough of all that... needless to say I have the co-morbs and plenty of them (I havent told you all yet). Too young for this!!!!!! My self esteem plumeted... Until!!! I ran into a high school friend of mine that had WLS! I swore I would never do it before I talked to her. (Thanks Jess!) Now, I am hoping to have WLS and lengthen my life in a healthy way.Hold on tight, the ride has just begun!
12/16/2004:I am not very good at keeping up with my profile but I am on the message board everyday!! Well, I am scheduled!!! I have my WLS on 12/27/04 with Dr. Aranow. I slid in right under the deadline... as my insurance will no longer cover this procedure come 1/1/2005 even with medical necessity. JERKS!I have to squeeze in blood tests, a cardiogram, a gall bladder ultrasound and a weigh in by the big day! No problem.. with Christmas shopping and all that.. I operate best under pressure! LOL!I want to thank Lois for all of her help!! And of course my family and friends for their support!
1/2/05: 
My scar... it is about 5 inches long... longer then usual... because of the gall bladder removal and liver biopsy. Well, Surgery was on 12/27/04 and all went well and uneventful. I had to have my Gall Bladder removed and a liver biopsy done at the same time. Might as well, right... The only thing I couldnt stand was the drain tube in my nose as it made my throat sore but it came out on the second day. No more sounding like Fran Drescher! LOL!I walked as much as possible in the hospital, when I was discharged on 12/30/04, I had completed 3 miles around that nurses station! I came home on the 30th like I said and I have been sleeping in the recliner as my back is so sore from over compensating for my belly. I think it will only be for another day or so as I am so much better everyday. Everyday is so much better than the last. The only HARD day wasday #2 in the hospital. I felt like a freight train went through my abdomin. I also had quite a emotional roller coaster ride that day as well. Yesterday, we had a family christmas party and the food there has always been a fovorite of mine. I knew I did the right thing when I could sit there in front of EVERYONE eating and not be effected by it. Sure, I would have loved to taste something other than the jello I brought for myself but once I finished that, I was full and could care less about every other dish. I told my brother.. "no worries, I can have a bite next year if I want it".
1/12/05:
I had my 2 week post op visit with Dr. A yesterday.... all was fine... he said everything looked normal and that I can progress topureed foods... That was the best news I had heard in so long. I went home and made an egg.... =P... I got so sick feeling... I went and laid down so I could try to make the sick feeling go away. Naturally, I was afraid to eat again today but I did it and I ate even slower than last night and so far so good. I think I ate too fast last night and too much air was trapped in my pouch as all I did was burp... I also had asked Dr. A why my Zoloft was cut down to 50 mg from 100 mg. He said it shouldnt have been and to go back up. I am happy about this as I have been on one helluva emotional roller coaster... I am so depressed at times that I dont even want to get out of my PJ's. Hopefully this will take the edge off things for a while as I know that being emothinal is normal while going through this transformation. THE GOOD NEWS IS...... I AM DOWN 20 POUNDS!!! (With my shoes and clothes on... in the privacy of my own bathroon with none of the above on... I am down 24 pounds!!) YAY!!!! I know I did the right thing! 
2 weeks post op...
Well, can you believe that January is over?? Where has the time gone? I posted today on the CT board... I was just so excited and had to share. I went shopping Saturday and picked up some jeans. Now, I normally try them on but I was in a hurry.. so I paid and left. THEY FIT and they are a 13/14. That means in one month, I have lost a pant size. I couldn't be happier.
I still dont see many differences in me even though I am almost down 30 pounds. Many people see it and comment but I, myself, cant see it yet. We are our toughest critics!
I was put on stage 5 Friday. I can eat real food now... HAHA. Well, food that hasnt been put through a processor anyway. I think I am having a hard time getting enough protein.. so I am making myself drink the yucky protein drinks.
I started back at the gym last Monday... a whole week worth and now I am on my second week! GO ME! I wouldnt have made it through the first week prior to surgery!
02/14/05:
Happy Valentine's Day. No B/F for me this year... so no valentine.. oh well. I got on the scale yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and I lost another 8 pounds. I am 221 from 255. YAY! I am so excited.
I have made a mini goal to wear a little red dress to my friends wedding in April. I got into a size 14 this week and I have 2 months to workout and tone as much as possible! The gym is a big part of my life now.. I would have never said that 2 months ago.
I have been getting the attention of guys now. Do I like it, yes but it makes me think how shallow some guys can be as some of them knew me before surgery.. what is so different about me now? My waistline? I didnt know that was what was important. Jerks.. not all but.. you know what I mean.
Thats about it for now.... I will post soon.
oxox
Beckie
Till next time... keep losing!
5/31/05 Size 12 in jeans... need I say more... down from a 16 (probably was an 18 and was causing internal damage... LOL) Shirts are large and only because of one thing (please read above entry for more information). I learned that my feet shrink with weight loss.. whodathunkit? till next time..Hugs n kisses
07/05/2005:
I am post op by 6 months and 8 days. I have made it to ONEderland *197* and I could not be happier. I even wore a 2 piece bathing suit to the beach in Misquamicut yesterday! WHOA! Thats crazy in itself!!!I love the shopping aspect but the $$ doesnt or my closets... LOL.I have met so many wonderful people on this site and in person who have had WLS that I can honesty say.. besides the obvious reasons to have WLS, that meeting and getting to know everyone is a gift in itself. I would have never crossed paths with these people without WLS... Woohoo! Hugs n kisses..
Luvs n stuff
7/14/05 :
Can you believe July is half over? Wow.... So..what to talk about? I guess I could start by saying I feel incredible.... what an unbelieveable change I have gone through in such a short time. Looking at pictures from last summer ... or even seeing myself in the mirror with SHORTS on is a huge realization in itself. I wouldnt wear shorts last year for fear I would start a fire on my thighs. LOL! I have done so much more than last year... looking forward to the trips I have planned and even riding a roller coaster or two in the next few weeks. I am more confident in myself.. more than I ever was and thought I could be. I have met so many people... not because I am thinner but because I have the nerve to go and introduce myself. Would I have done that as a fat chick? Nope. Here's to another month!
08/05/2005
Here it is ... already going into the 8th month being a post op... craziness... I have been feeling a bit low.. not sure what it is or what is causing it.. similair to the way I felt 2 weeks to a month out.. miserable. Thinking I went off Zoloft to fast and need to make a phone call to the doc. Anywhoo.. Weight loss has stopped again... people are saying i look smaller though. So maybe losing inches? I never did measure myself... so I have nothing to go by...
Personal life... well, that too is at a stand still.. having a hard time with the new image I have and the OLD mentality. Fat girl in a thin body so to speak. People are shallow... including one of the guys I was interested in.. as soon as he found out about my WLS he pretty much stopped seeing me.. he still talks to me once in a while but anytime the "making plans stage" comes up.. he is busy or something comes up at the last minute. I sent him an email today and said that I could not continue it anymore.. I feel like a complete fool and I wonder if he ever really wanted to hang out ... do you know .. he NEVER wrote back.. he is here today *work* so I know he got it. Guess that was my answer.. Actions speak louder than words. Need some me time... need to focus on my weight loss and my health... become more selfish so to speak.. I thank God every day for the people I have met on OH.... Wouldnt be able to make it through my low times with out them!!!
*kisses* Till next time....
9/3/05 WOW! Its already September! I have been working on me.. mentally and physically. This WLS journey was something I knew would change me physically but I didnt realize the growth I would have as a person. Sure, I still make stupid choices but I take them as a learning experience. The people I have met along the way... incredible. There are no other words to describe them. My 8 month surgiversary was last Saturday. I had Meredith take a picture of me before we hit the town for a night out. (posted below). My 9 month post op appointment is in one month and I have that time to make it to my personal goal of being 185 (12 more pounds) on that day. Wish me luck... the weight loss has slowed tremendously and I have to work a little harder at it than before.... it shouldnt be too hard with all this new found energy!
9/20/05
Seven more days till my 9 month post op surgiversary. WHOA! Where the hell has the time gone?? Since my last update, I have done more soul searching.. finding me and enjoying the time doing so. I have fought more with the scale and I know what I have to do.. I know what I am doing wrong and I know I have to correct it now before my bad habits have taken over and it is even harder to get back on track. I have met a wonderful guy.. someone who has accepted me for me and lets me be my quirky self. He learned early on about my WLS and he hasnt said anything negative regarding it.. unlike the last person.. he has asked questions and wants to know about what I have gone through. It is so early in this relationship but I have already felt at ease with voicing my fears to him about WLS and failure... he just tells me that if I know what to do to correct it, then do it... just the kick in the ass that I need.
I am sure I will update after my 9 month post op visit scheduled for 10/11. Till then!!! XOXOXO
10/11/06
Ok. I had my appointment yesterday with Dr. A and Elina (nutritionist). I weigh 196.4... I did not make my goal of 185 and I was so disappointed in myself. They said I was on track and my blood work came back perfect (except for elevated liver functions again but they werent anything to be concerned about). They recommended uping my exercise and my fiber. Will try that as I see Dr. A again in December or early January for my one year. Got home and I was bummed out and trying to fake that I was happy. Jon knew something was up.. Can I just say that I have the best boyfriend in the world!!! He made me tell him why I was sad and I told him that I came up short of my goals. He said that I have done well for myself and I have come a long way and it must have been hard. He said.. Dont be so hard on yourself! THEN proceeded to say that he wanted to know what I had to do to reach my goals and he was going to help me in every way he could because he was in it with me. I showed him what was "mapped out" with my nutritionist as far as what to eat, how much, where to get protein, etc.. and he is going to help me. I think I have finally found the one.. too sweet for words. I am commiting myself to weighing my portions, getting more exercise, getting more water and fiber. I WILL NOT make a goal for myself for my one year.. except to not weigh in at 196.4. Fair enough. Till next time. XOXO
11/01/05 Working on my 11th month of being a post op.. where has the year gone? I am working on getting the final pounds off of me,.. still need to up my exercise. I was pretty down on myself for a while and thinking I wasnt losing enough and I was failing. Well the other day, I asked Jon to pour the dog food out of the 55 pound bag into the plastic container... and he said no.. and to come over there. So I did. Then he told me to lift it... I couldnt.. of course. Then he said " I dont want to hear you say you have failed again.. you cant even lift that and you have lost more than that!!" ... he is so wonderful.. he made me SEE how much I have lost and how far I have come. Hugs n Kisses. 11/25/2005 Wow... 2 days short of being 11 months post op. Funny how I think I am bigger than I really am. I say this because I was downloading pictures from Turkey Day and I never have seen (and still dont in the mirror) my shoulders so small!Thanksgiving was awesome! I ate at my Mom and Dads and my neices (LOVE THEM TO PEICES!), nephew, sister in law and brother were all there. I decided to eat off of a dessert plate as they are smaller. When scooping.. IO took about a spoonful of each side dish and mostly turkey. Perfect amount. I met Jonathan's parents this week (who live in Florida).. such sweet people. I was worried over nothing... His mom came in with gifts for me.. when she never laid eyes on me before. Anywhoo...
Hope you all enjoyed your families as much as I did mine!!! One more month until I am one year out, can you believe it? I will have pictures of that too!
12/25/05 MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 28th TO ME! Miss Bozrah getting crazy with the Christmas Spirit!
12/27/2005 ~~~~~~~~ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!~~~~~~~~~~ Here I am, One year later. I still have not weighed myself so I cant tell you how much I have lost. * I can tell you that I went from being on 8 medications per day to taking my vitamins only. * I have gone from having sore knees and a sore back to being able to do anything I want without stress on any part of my body. * I was a severly depressed girl hidden behind the smile and the smart ass sense of humor. Now, I smile because I want to and because it comes from my heart. * I used to wear a size 16-18 pants... my new pants are a size 11 Juniors. * What I lost in Fat.. I gained in friendships. I would never change anything about the day that I ventured onto the Singles OH board. You guys are an amazing bunch and I dont know how I would have made it through the trials and errors of WLS as well as the everyday ups and downs that life throws at you without being able to post and get your whole hearted opinions about them. Sometimes, I may not have liked what I read but it was your honest thoughts and I had to respect that. I love you all... I really do. I am a different person because of WLS. I really am.. I am more confident in myself, my decisions, my actions. I am more cautious of who I give my friendship and espescially my heart to. I laugh more and cry less thats for sure! Here is to another year of being healthy and full of life. Thank you all for being on this journey with me. What a difference a year makes.... *************************************************
April 17,2006 Hi there.. It has been a while since I last updated..some things have changed but me knowing exactly what I weigh is not one of the changes..lol.. I think I am at 182 right now. On February 7th of this year, I found out I was going to have a baby. WHOA! Lets talk about life slapping you in the face! Jon was nervous and rightly so. I was too. Now. We are excited and worried more about the money than the changes our life will be going through. We welcome those changes. I am due 10/9/06.. I will be finding out if we are having a boy or a girl. I hope for healthy. Jonathan and I have talked about marriage and I do have an engagement ring.. but I feel like that should happen after the baby arrives.. one thing to concentrate on at a time. I also want the baby in our wedding.. maybe a satin covered wagon!!I will update more soon. I am sure it will be more about my pregnancy than WLS... the WLS topic will come back as soon as the baby comes along!XOXO
06/22/2006 Where oh where does the time go? I am now well within my 24th week of pregnancy.. that adds up to me being 6 months... I tend to count the weeks so I wont have an anxiety attack thinking I only have 3 months to go. My new "fear" is that the ultrasound that we had in May that told us it is a GIRL was wrong and all the stuff we have gotten is the wrong color.. lol.. paranoia.. Good thing I have another scheduled for 7/14 and you can bet the farm that I will be making sure it is still an "inny". Weight gain is going well.. I have (as of 6/12) gained 8 pounds total. I am sure I am a bit heavier since.. I eat when I am hungry but have found I have been eating more and more and sometimes when I am bored.. uh oh.. bad habit.. I will get that under control!The baby will be called Mallory.. the middle name has thrown us for a loop but I want something to honor my mother and his mother at the same time.. with Sharon and Sheri.. I would think it wouldnt be that hard of a task!Well, until next time.. all is well in preggo world.. what an experience.. I have never in my dreams thought *I* could do this.. *I* am making a human.. a life.. someone that could make a world of difference to not only me and Jonathan but to maybe the world someday. Lets hope. XOXOXOBeckie
7/7/06One more week until I see my little girl again! I will be almost 28 weeks when we have that ultrasound. All is wonderful.. I have not one complaint about this pregnancy.. as long as I take my vitamins and drink my water, life is good.. otherwise I feel yucky..
10/5/06:I am sitting here at home on maternity leave without a baby yet.. lol. I am experiencing some contractions but they are still random and nothing to make me think it is time. I am not actually due until Monday but.. I just want to see her little face.. I also want to have my body back to being mine.. as selfish as that sounds, I just cant take the leg cramps or back aches much longer. Other than that, I can not complain at all and I havent through out my entire pregnancy until this last week where the weight of her is the huge factor in my discomfort. I love her so much already.. I just cant seem to wrap my brain around the idea that I will be a mother in a matter of days (HOPEFULLY).
11/3/06:Miss Mallory arrived on my due date.. 10/9/06 vis unexpected c-section. I cant believe she will be a month old already.. She weighed in at 8 lbs. 14 ounces and was 22 inches long..
