Betty Boop Oop-A-Doop

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(Not really expecting a response from anyone - I just feel it is important to document the good AND the bad aspects of my journey.)
 
Yep, I'm "skeered"!

I wish I knew just what is going on with me. These bad spells that I started having are just getting worse and worse. I had another frightening experience at the commissary this weekend. Thank the Lord DH was with me. I shudder to think where I would have ended up if I had been alone. 

What started with typical hypoglycemic-like reactions...first mild symptoms and then growing to full blown symptoms...has now escalated to some serious symptoms for me...most recently a time where I woke up with DH hovering over me, trying to wake me....other times being so out of it that I'm unable to know who I am or where I am. Didn't start out being that bad, but seems to be reaching that serious stage more and more as time goes on. Used to I could ingest some protein and bring it under control pretty quickly, but that doesn't work quickly enough any more. I really am getting quite scared...as is my husband though I try to hide as much as possible from him and my family.

I just wish I knew what was going on and why something like this started happening so far out from surgery. For the first 18-24 months or so I rarely ever had any problem with anything I ate. I used to brag to everyone (when someone asked) about what an easy time I had had since surgery. Never any problems as long as I followed the rules, ate properly, took my vitamins, protein, and fluids. Never any nausea, vomiting, gas, pain or other things that a lot of other postops had. Oh, there was maybe about 3 times that I ate one bite too much and ended up feeling nauseated for a short while, but never any real dumping symptoms.  

Then, all of a sudden I started having some occasional hypoglycemic spells but was able to recognize when it was coming and take steps to get it under control fairly quickly. Ingesting some good protein always helped almost immediately. I just had to make sure I never left home without some protein (a spoon of peanut butter worked well...some nuts, some jerky, etc) and always kept something in my purse to grab in a hurry. If at home a protein shake would quickly do the trick.

As time went on I started having more frequent and more severe spells and had to quit going anywhere by myself. Tried so hard to hide it from my family as long as I could so they wouldn't worry - always making excuses why I couldn't go somewhere if it meant having to go by myself. Couldn't hide it forever though, because DH eventually witnessed me having a bad spell and the secret was out. It has gotten so bad that I can never go out by myself. I had to quit taking my daily walks because I started having bad spells during my walks. Now I only do that if someone is available to go with me. (That is main reason I got the elliptical and the Wii for home...so I could get in some exercise without having to leave home.)  I really hate that DH has to worry about me because there are so many other more important things for him to worry about right now.  

When people ask if I regret having the surgery or if I would do it all again, I can't really give them an answer right now because I am not sure. I used to be able to answer very quickly with a resounding "Heck yeh, I would do it again in a heartbeat" but that was then and this is now, and I'm not too sure at this point that it was worth it to me to end up with these problems that I have. I want to be able to say it was worth it, but really struggle with believing that it was worth it on the bad days. I try not to give up the hope that it will all work out in the end.

This too shall pass (or I will find a way to deal with it). I was dealing with it pretty good as long as I was able to keep things under control but now it has become unpredictable, comes on more quickly with less time to react, and what used to work to bring it under control no longer works....that is worrisome! 

I know it is taboo to talk about a negative side of the surgery on here. The doctors would prefer people only talk about the up side, I am sure of it!.

In no way am I insinuating that everyone will have these problems. Of course I can't say with 100% certainty that these spells and other problems are related to my surgery, but I find it hard to come to any other conclusion. I do want to say I have no doubt in my surgeon's abilities to do a fantastic job on the surgery itself because I did not have any problems related to HOW the surgery was done, but I do believe that the after affects of having the surgery have taken it's toll on me as time goes on.

I don't know of anybody who has followed the "rules" more closely than I have, so I'm sure it is not anything that I have brought on myself by failing to do something. I have always taken my vitamins (good bariatric ones, not childrens vitamins), gotten in my protein and water, and eaten appropriately.

At this point the only way I can keep these spells anywhere near under control is to eat several small "meals" a day...not because I am hungry but just to try to keep my level from bottoming out. 

Oh...and just to add insult to injury, according to the "statistics" my journey has been a "failure".  

Well, this is day #4 that I have returned completely back to the basics in an attempt to see the scales move again. And when I say back to the basics, I mean just that...LOL...all the way back to liquids only (just like the preop liquid diet I was required to do). It is a whole lot more difficult to do now than it was then, but decarbing really does rid me of the cravings and also increases my energy level. 

Day 1-3 was simply liquid protein, water and vitamins.

Now I am on day 4 and will slowly begin to add back dense proteins and a few good carbs just like I did in the beginning. I need to be really diligent if this is to work for me. There are certain things I need to keep out of my life at least until I reach goal. No bread, no rice, no potatoes, crackers or any of that type of thing. I have tried to stay away from all those things since surgery and have done pretty well at it, but even just a small amount seems to trigger cravings, kill my energy level. I think this is an individual thing. I know others who can eat some of those things and get away with it...I can't.  

Soooo...my plan at this point is to stay with just the basics until I feel like I am at goal.  I think this is my only chance. I'll give it a try, it is the only thing I can do. My back-to-the-basics plan will include exercise regimen too!





     

                                       

Here is a recipe that has become a favorite with my family and friends. You might have already tried it but for those who haven't, I thought I would post it. I always fix extra so I can make a pie and also have enough left over for at least 4 servings of just the mousse to keep in the freezer for myself. Tastes like ice cream/sherbet to me. Can be made in different flavors. We normally do lemonade but love the orange too. The orange tastes like dreamcicle. I tried a pineapple last year and they liked it too.

CRUST: 
1 box of Sugar Free Murray's cookies(I use vanilla wafers for the lemon and gingersnaps with the orange).
2-3 Tablespoons butter (melted)  

Put cookies in food processor until finely crushed. Add melted butter and mix well. Press into pie pan and bake in 350-degree oven for 10-12 minutes (depending on the cookie, some brown faster than others). Take out of oven and set aside to cool.  

MOUSSE/FILLING: (makes enough to fill one pie with enough extra for at least 4 to 5 individual cups of just the mousse for muah)
  
1 large box of Instant Sugar Free Vanilla Pudding
3 cups milk (I use 2% milk)
1 and 1/2 tubs Crystal Light powder (Lemonaide or Sunrise Orange, etc)
1 16-oz container of Lite Cool Whip  

In large bowl beat the pudding mix with the milk until smooth. Beat in the dry Crystal Light mix. Fold in the Lite Cool Whip (or mix on low speed). Pour into cooled pie crust. I place mine in the freezer because everyone likes it that way.  The remaining mousse I put in individual freezer cups and place in freezer.

It does get hard in the freezer, but a few minutes sitting out before serving or a quick zap in the microwave gets it ready to enjoy!

Well, the verdict is in. Finished up the steroids this weekend, so did a weigh-in this morning to see how much damage was done in the weight department. 

Upon bouncing out of bed I headed to the bathroom to void all that I could...every ounce matters don't ya know. LOL  I then stripped naked (even my glasses LOL) and wandered over to the scales. I had a moment of silent prayer and stepped on.  After going through my usual weighing ritual of making sure my feet were centered on the scale and my weight evenly distributed, tilting my head to the left, squinting my right eye, raising my arms up over my head..and sticking my tongue out ...LOL I waited a few seconds and then looked down.

 Yep...just as I suspected with the way my clothes were fitting...I gained...8.4 pounds to be exact. Maybe I didn't hold my mouth right. LOL

I had prepared myself for it though, so I am okay. Hopefully it will come off as fast as it went on. I've spent the last few weeks reading up on some things I want to try to get my weight moving down again, so I'll be putting that plan in place soon and hopefully I'll zap these steroid pounds plus some! Wouldn't that be great!!   Now I just gotta "git er done"!

Hugs
 

What am I doing to move to lose today, you ask?

Without going into a whole lotta detail, I'll just sum it up in two words......Mexican Trot.    Arrrgh
 Must a been sumpin I ate.   

Well...still on the steroids and anti-viral meds and I'm feeling crappier with each day. This was to be expected with this combination of meds.....and I don't like it one bit...but I don't have to....do I...?!?  Taking steroids is the last thing I want to be doing, but I just have to risk it if there is any chance at all that it will help my hearing.  Because steroids weaken the immune system it increases my risk of cellulitis, but I'll handle that when and if it happens. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't rear its uggly head this time around.

I haven't lost any weight in a year and normally I am praying to lose even an ounce.......but currently I will be happy if I can just make it through these meds without gaining a lot. I've decided not to get on the scale to see because I don't really want to know. I can't change anything about it now anyway, so I will just wait and see what happens. I know I am swollen because I can tell in my clothes and my face, but hopefully it is just temporary.  Even if it is not, I still feel like I have to give this treatment a chance. 

 Group hug to all my buddies!

~~ Betty

Per request, here is recipe for the cheese ball I brought to the BBQ.
                  
                       

Feta Cheese Ball: 

One 8-ounce package of RF (reduced fat) cream cheese, softened
One 8-ounce package feta cheese, coarsely chopped
2 scallions thinly chopped or sliced (I include some of the green tops too)
2 tablespoons finely diced roasted red peppers
1/2 cup finely chopped nuts (recipe calls for walnuts, but I use pecans)

Additional finely chopped nuts for coating the outside, if desired.

Mix cream cheese and chopped feta cheese in food processor until well blended.  Fold in the chopped scallions, roasted red peppers and 1/2 cup finely chopped nuts.  Refrigerate several hours or until chilled and firm. I wrap it in saran wrap and shape it into my desired shape (ball, log, etc) before putting it in the refrigerator to chill. The longer it chills the better the flavors blend. While it is chilling, chop additional nuts for the outside. Before serving, roll in the finely chopped nuts to coat the outside. Serve with basket of pita chips, crackers, veggie sticks, etc.

Nutritional stats (cheese ball only):  
Serving size:  2 tablespoons
Calories:  40
Fat:  4 
Carbs:  less than 1
Protein:  1  

What a great evening this was! I'm still thinking about how wonderful all my friends looked and what positive changes they have made in their lives. Everyone is at different stages of their journey, but each have made amazing transformations. I wish everyone could have been there to see it. Thanks to Cindy and Pat for sharing some pics of the evening. I enjoyed seeing them and will look back on them often when I need inspiration. 

It is still very hard for me to look at myself in pictures...quite depressing, actually.  Looking at these pics does remind me that I need to schedule that arm brachioplasty...sooner than later!  Oh my!

It will soon be my two year surgiversary. I've been trying to look back and reflect on these past two years and gather my thoughts to put in my blog. I have mixed emotions about it, so parts of it haven't been easy to reflect upon. Look for it some time soon....maybe.  

Hugs to all my friends.  

Here is some info I saved a couple of years ago. In addition, I have double handrails that stick way out over the steps and I use those to do pullups. Looks silly I'm sure, but is a good workout for the arms. We also play a lot of pool volleyball. 

Get some water weights!

CARDIOVASCULAR: THE WARM-UP
Swimming laps is one of the best things you can do to strengthen your heart and lungs. If you're a decent swimmer and enjoy lap swims, spend a few minutes a day at it to warm up for toning and stretching. Otherwise, walking or running in the pool is just as effective. It may sound easy, but just try it! If you go in up to your shoulders and run, you'll get your heart rate up with no problem. It may be very difficult to sustain at first, but try to build up your time to at least twenty minutes. One very important thing to remember is to keep your feet as fully planted as possible while you do your pool exercises, especially when walking and running. If you tiptoe (which people tend to do without realizing it), your calves will be killing you the next day. Keep those heels down! 

 

TONING: EIGHT GREAT MOVES YOU CAN DO IN THE POOL
The wonderful thing about water is that it gives you natural resistance with absolutely no impact to the joints. For those with severe arthritis or other joint problems, it offers the perfect alternative to lifting weights. You really can tone up in the pool. Just like weight training, your muscles are contracting against resistance, becoming stronger with each session.

 

There are exercises you can do for every muscle group, and your risk of injury is extremely low. Think about exercises you do with free weights. The beauty of resistance training is that it is very easily modified. Anything that you do with dumbbells can be translated into a water exercise. If you already have a routine with free weights, you have a license to create your own water move that does the same thing.

 

Be creative, but also be mindful at all times of your body position (which can be thrown off in the water). Keep your weight distributed evenly and check your posture often. Keep your abdominals tucked in to support your back throughout every exercise. Don't bend, stretch or reach any further than you do on land. It takes time to grow accustomed to the gravitational difference in water, but as your experience grows, your body will become more in-tune with the water. Here are a few examples of modified free weight exercises: 

 

For the quadriceps (front of the thighs), hamstrings and glutes: Stand with your feet hip-width apart in shallow water with your arms bent at your sides, hands out flat with fingers together and palms up. Slowly bend your knees into a squat position, sticking your derriere out behind you (don't worry about looking silly - you're under water!). Do not allow your knees to extend beyond your toes, but try to simulate a sitting-in-a-chair position. Cupping your hands, keeping your back neutral (not arched) and abs tucked in, exhale and stand up straight. Turn your hands to return to the starting position. Be very careful to maintain perfect form throughout this exercise.

 

For hips and glutes:  Facing the edge of the pool, hold on with both hands and slowly bring one leg out to your side, keeping your back straight. Exhale while you bring it up as high as you comfortably can without turning at the ankle (this probably won't be as high as you could if you did turn your ankle). Bring it back down and repeat, doing a full set for each leg. 

 

For glutes: KICK! You can breeze around on a kickboard or hold onto the side of the pool, but the scissoring motion is great for the buttocks and hamstrings, and it indirectly tones the abdominals. What could be more fun than this? 

 

For the back, shoulders and arms: Do pull-ups. Grasp the side of the pool and lower your body as far as your arms will allow. Keeping your knees bent, exhale and pull yourself up as high as you can (the range of motion for this will vary greatly from one person to another). For the chest: Standing in water up to your neck, reach your hands out to each side, with your elbows unbent and your palms forward. Slowly bring them together, clapping your hands, and then turn your hands to return to the starting position. 

 

For triceps: Stand straight, with your open hands palms-down on the surface of the water. Keeping your elbows locked at your sides (pretend they're glued to your ribcage), exhale and push down until your hands are beside your hips. Turn your hands and bring them back to the starting position.

 

For biceps: Bring your open hands to the side of each hip, palms forward, with your fingers close together. Exhale as you slowly bend at the elbow to bring your hands toward your shoulders. 

 

For abs, you can simulate crunches, or here's a toughie: stand with your back to the side of the pool, holding onto the rim with your elbows. Keeping your knees unbent, slowly bring both legs up to a sitting position and hold it for ten seconds. Do not hold your breath, though. Breath slowly throughout this exercise. Then bend at the knee to bring them down, repeating this as many times as you'd like to. Be careful to keep your back straight throughout this exercise. There are lots of gadgets available for toning; you can get these at most department stores or athletic supply stores. They make the work a little more challenging and possibly give you speedier results, but it's better to begin water exercise without them. Once you feel like you need to push yourself a little harder, go ahead and use them. They'll add a new flavor to your old workout, keeping you motivated and interested. 

 

STRETCHING: 
Just about any of the stretches you do on land can also be done in the water. When you're finished with your toning, hold the side of the pool with one hand, stand on one foot, bend the other knee and grasp your ankle with your free hand to stretch your quadriceps and hip flexors. Hold the side of the pool with one hand and turn your body by pointing your toes away from the wall to stretch your biceps and pectorals. There are many, many stretches that you can do. Just make sure that you're properly warmed up (this takes a little longer in the pool) and keep your feet flat on the floor at all times. 

 

Remember that your perceived exertion is a little off in the pool - you may feel like you didn't work that hard, but you did. You also may be a little sore the next day, so don't push yourself too hard until you know how much you can handle. 

 

 

 

 

Sorry if this sounds like I am venting, but I am. LOL  I have to vent to someone so thought I would vent here. I know not many will read it, but at least it gets it off my chest. 

Well, I received notice in the mail a few weeks ago that I will be seeing Dr. Huynh for follow up instead of Dr. Lord. Say what?!  

I already had an appointment to see Dr. Lord for my 18 month followup...then I get this appointment card in the mail with papers to fill out for a Dr. Huynh. It was all news to me. I was a bit PO'd at the way they handled it. They could have at least called to tell me that Dr. L wouldn't be seeing me anymore and that I would be receiving info from this other doctor who would be doing my followups. 

Anyway.....I got to thinking well I hardly ever get to see Dr. Lord anyway when I go (for some reason I always got Dr. F) and they are so busy and always in a rush that I would give this other doctor a chance....thinking since his speciality is weightloss management that he might have more ideas on what changes I can make to get the scales moving again.  I had discussed with Jan a couple of times about my frustration with not losing anything over the last several months. She agreed I should still be losing and said this new doc should be able to help me.  

Well....my appt was yesterday and I came away more frustrated than ever.  He was a nice fellow and all, but he offered me absolutely nothing as far as information that would help me.  He really didn't do anything except go over my chart. Since I was having difficulty losing more weight and hadn't lost anything in six months,  I was actually quite shocked that he didn't even ask me anything about how many calories, protein, carbs, etc that I was eating. I would have thought that  would have been the first thing he would have focused on to see if I was doing something wrong. He offered no suggestions on what I could do or change to help me lose more weight. It wasn't until the end of my appt when he asked if I had any questions that I got him to speak to me about calories, protein/carbs. I track my intake daily, and I am desperate for something I can do to get closer to goal.  He just said my body may be done losing!  He wants to see me in three months just to "make sure I am not gaining."  I think I have decided not to go back to him. I really feel like my primary care doctor would be more helpful, so I will probably just let her do my follow up appointments if Dr. Lord isn't going to see me anymore. It was my understanding that there would be a 5 year follow up after surgery...but I guess they prefer to focus on bringing in new patients which will generate more $$$. 

As far as my weight loss since my last appointment six months ago, I have lost nothing...unless you call two-tenths of a pound something. It seems I have the maintenance part downpat! Now if I could just finish losing. I try to remain positive and just keep doing what I know I am supposed to be doing, but I can't even tell you how hard it is to remain positive and hopeful that I will get anywhere near goal.  I track my nutritional data, so I know I am well within my boundaries for that and I am faithful with my exercise so at this point I am at a loss as to what to try next. I have tried all sorts of changes to my daily regimen but nothing seems to help.  I know I have no choice but to continue doing what I am doing, but I sure do hope the scales move down again at some point. 

I feeling pretty good these days. Definitely thankful for what I have accomplished and the positive changes I have made.  It is looking more and more like I will be one who does not get near goal, and I guess I will just have to get over this pitty party, deal with it and move on.  I hate the frustration and the feeling of dispair. It keeps me from being the motivator that I like to be. I much prefer to motivate others than to wallow in my frustrations....this too shall pass.

Basically I am doing good.  I'm able to get lots of exercise which I am lovin.  Blood pressure was great yesterday at the doctor. My blood work was not back yet, so still waiting on those results. Off all meds except for vitamins. Eating healthy!  I have trouble with being dehydrated quite often. This causes a few problems, so I have to try my best to get in even more fluids than is required. I have occasional episodes of what seems like hypoglycemia or low blood sugar lately. Will keep an eye on that. All in all doing well though.  

I think one of the best things for me is that I no longer feel like I stand out in the crowd...like everyone is looking at me and wondering how I let myself get into that pitiful shape. I feel "normal".... like I blend in.  I no longer automatically feel like people are laughing at me when I am out somewhere and hear laughter.  Life is good.  I still have the unexplained hearing loss that suddenly occured after my surgery, but have no choice but to make adjustments and learn to live with it. 

Oh.. I still on occasion have to perform the ole "pass-a-bowling-ball-through-a-garden hose" trick.  Oh my!  I've learned to take action at the first sign of any problem!! 

Hanging skin is a problem nowadays. Hope to have at least the arms done at some point. Can hide most of the other areas with clothes, but my arms are a big problem.  Won't be wearing my bikini any time soon. LMAO!
 
Gotta run for now. Will finish this later.

Hugs to all my friends!  ....and as I always say...gotta keep on keepin' on!