3-year update

Dec 02, 2012

Hello - it's been over 3 years since my last update, and that update was just after my surgery!  I have gone from 371.1 to 262.  I have felt great - have fit into an airline seat, knee pain is almost nonexistent...but now I'm gaining weight very slowly. Why?

I'm pregnant - about 9 to 10 weeks along.

It's something I hoped would happen, but as time went on, thought it wouldn't happen.  We got pregnant 05/2011 and had a miscarriage.  The ultrasound in the ER showed an empty gestational sac measuring 5 weeks, 3 days.  I had been on metformin which helped regulate my cycle and, likely, helped me get pregnant.

After the miscarriage, I didn't have a cycle so my metformin was increased.  I also lost more weight (I think I was over 300 lbs in 05/2011).  I took up jogging.  We tracked our sex life (which ended up killing any spontaneity).  We kept trying...and nothing.

We already had The Talk with my OB, who is terrific.  She suggested clomid, which I expected.  I had tried the metformin/clomid combo once in 2007 and it resulted in ovulation, but no baby.  We decided to do clomid in 12/2011.

Until then, we'd stop tracking and focus on other things - his new job, my current job, our respective families.  In late October, I had a feeling.  Something was off. I had the sore breasts, but that always accompanied my period.  I felt nauseous but that was something I always felt off and on.  We went to a Halloween party where I played DD and no one questioned my decision to not drink even a little bit.

The next morning, I took a test and it was positive.  I showed him and he was excited, though nervous.  We told a few close friends right away and told family close to Thanksgiving - we wanted to have our first ultrasound which showed a heartbeat and good growth.

Based on my last menstrual period, I'm due 7/1/13 (10 weeks), but it's measuring at about 7/7/13 (9 weeks).  Either way, our running joke is that it'll be born on the 4th of July so it's nickname right now is "Freedom Fries" or "Roman Candle". 

If you didn't notice, I have no !!! in my post.  I am worried something will happen, that this is not reality and this kind of thing doesn't happen to me. I am generally a positive person, but this brings me down and I cannot explain it nor do I feel like anyone can understand it.

But I AM excited, I just am worried if I SHOW it, I will have jinxed myself.

Here's to the next 31 weeks :)

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Overdue update

Oct 04, 2009

Wow...Just realized it's been a little under 3 months since my last blog entry! I've never been good at these things. :)

In short, I had the Lap Band surgery on September 16, 2009.

When I finally got the referral from my insurance company in July, I contacted Virginia Mason in Federal Way. They set me up with an appointment...on October 1. I hung up the phone after making the appt and almost cried. 3 months?!? In the past 6 months alone, my health problems seem to be compounding so what would 3 more months do to my body?

I called the insurance case manager who said they just added a 5th provider, but they were out of Olympia. They were getting people in fairly quickly. Traveling from Kent to Olympia would be a challenge but it would be worth it. Plus my best friend lives 5 blocks from their office. I got the referral to Pacific Weight Loss Surgery (www.pacsurgical.com) setup a consult with them August 6.

On August 6, I took the hour drive to PWLS and met with Michelle, the coordinator. She was real sweet and informative, having gone through LBS herself. I met with Dr. William Neal, the surgeon. I had a ton of questions and he was very patient in answering them all.
(I should note I did things backwards. Ideally, I should've gone to a seminar first then to a consult. I thought I had all the answers but once I compiled my list of questions for the surgeon, I realized I know it all. I ended up going to the seminar on August 22nd with my husband Ian, who also learned a lot.)
After meeting with Dr. Neal, Michelle and I setup some follow-up appts: psychological evaluation (as required by my insurance company) and nutritionist visit. Both were scheduled on August 20th.

I was thrilled - things finally started to move!  I must confess, however, I was incredibly nervous about the psych eval.  I had been dealing with depression for almost 10 years and my maternal grandmother was bipolar. Both my immediate family and extended maternal family deal with depression too. It was overwhelming to think something that I had been accustomed to living with would prevent me from getting LBS. Before the eval, I had my regular counseling session with my therapist (this was recommended to deal with food issues but I found out I needed a bit more help). She is incredibly knowledgeable on the area of WLS, having had a few dozen patients over the years go through it. She doubted the eval would come out negative as they search for serious conditions. That made me feel better but still....she wasn't the one doing the eval :)

August 20th came and I met with the nutritionist, Biena, at Dr. Neal's office. She is the nurse there. She also had LBS so she was not only speaking from an educational perspective but a personal one as well. She gave me all the info I would need - what to eat the first several weeks after the surgery and the nutritional requirements I would need. After that, I had the psych eval down the street with Dr. Meyer (both he and PWLS work together often). It lasted about an hour and at the end he said he saw nothing wrong that would prevent me from having the surgery, at least from his standpoint - yay!! I asked what he looks for and he said those who are schizophrenic or have multiple personality disorders usually are not good candidates.

The next step would be for Dr. Meyer to submit the eval back to PWLS who would then submit the paperwork to my insurance company for final approval. I waited with my breath held. On August 31st, I got the call from my case manager - I was approved!!

On September 1, I contacted PWLS and Michelle was able to accommodate my schedule - I wanted to have the surgery before Ian started school so he wouldn't have to take any time off. She called me later and they fit me in September 16th! Wow...things were moving soooo fast! That night, I had my last meal at the Olive Garden. I wanted to pig out, but in the end, I didn't eat much. Imagine that!

Starting September 2, I had to go on a diet called Medifast for the 2 weeks before the surgery to reduce the size of my liver, making the LBS easier. It's similar to Slimfast. You can have 5 items of either a Medifast oatmeal, pudding, shake, chicken noodle soup or meal bars a day plus a "lean and green" meal once a day, consisting of a green vegetable and a meat. The food was horrible! The only thing I could stomach was the bars and I quickly ran out of those and they're expensive to replace - over $30 for 7 of them!! I cried a lot during this time because the food was horrible, but mainly because I was grieving my relationship with food. It would change forever.

On the eve before my surgery, Ian and I stayed at the Little Creek Casino near Shelton; my surgery would take place at Mason General Hospital in Shelton. (If you're a non-smoker - stay away from this place! Our floor was non-smoking but I could barely breathe! Smoke was everywhere.)   We stayed overnight because we had to check in at 6am. We got to the hospital just before 6 and I was fairly calm. The night before I was a nervous wreck but a long, warm shower helped clear my mind and calm my nerves. By 7:30, I was wheeled into the OR. I think I was back in my room before 10 (I don't remember and neither did my sleepy husband). By 12, I was cleared to go home -- but I had to pee first. Simple task that was impossible for me to do! I had to go, I could feel it and I was taking liquids every 10-15 minutes but when I'd sit down, my bladder would tease me! For over 3 hours, I tried every trick in the book: putting my hand in warm water, turning the faucet on, dreaming of peeing, even the nurse gave me this water bottle to squirt warm water down there but nothing. At 3:15, they said it wouldn't hold me up anymore but if I was still not peeing by midnight, I'd have to go to the ER. Thankfully, my bladder woke up at 9:30.

I don't remember much about the drive home. I was good to go on painkillers but didn't sleep, though I barely remember the drive. I slept for 3 hours when I got home. After my mom got off work, she came and visited me. As a thank you from me, she took Ian out to eat at his favorite BBQ place.

For the next week, I was on liquids which made me have regular diarrhea. Ugh. By the 23rd, I moved onto pudding-consistency foods where I remain. On Tuesday, I can gradually move onto regular foods.

Now for the weight loss: I weighed in on Sept 14th and was at 358 lbs. When I went for a checkup with Dr. Neal on the 23rd, I was at 343, a weight loss of 15 lbs! My highest ever was at the beginning of this process in January - 371.1. When I found out I lost 15 lbs in just over a week, I panicked - with all the weight loss programs I had been on over the years, I've learned 1-2 lbs a week is ideal and healthy, but 15?!? Dr. Neal assured me that was a great weight loss, one I'd likely never see again in that amount of time, but it was expected given my starting weight and being on a liquid diet.

I don't know how much I've lost since then. I have a digital Weight Watchers scale that says I'm at 354 lbs, which I know isn't right. I have my first fill on October 15th so I'll get weighed then. We'll see how it all goes!

(Ok, that's a lot of typing, haven't done that much since college!) 
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Denial, Appeal & Approval - Lots of words ending in "L"

Jul 11, 2009

It's been a rollercoaster. I don't know why I'm so surprised -- I thought for some reason I'd go through this process without a single hitch, like some insurance God was looking over me. I would just skate through from start to finish with very little speedbumps. I was very wrong.

After meeting my goal (see previous blog), I faxed my weight to my case manager at UMP and let them know I chose Virginia Mason. I then received a phone call from him saying they never received my medical records from Group Health Cooperative, would I get them? I said sure and sent GHC a request for my sleep apnea test result (I had to have one of several listed medical conditions in addition to obesity to be approved). I received my test and faxed it to UMP.

A week or two passed and I hadn't heard anything or received the referral to Virginia Mason. I called my case manager and left a message. The next day, I received a call from him. He said he and the department's doctor reviewed the test results twice and it showed I did not have sleep apnea. He explained without the records, I shouldn't have been let into the program so at this time, I would be denied.

I got upset, thinking I'd been using my CPAP machine for almost 10 months and have felt a significant improvement; how can this be? Luckily, he explained how I can appeal and what to include in my appeal. Unfortunately, the records had to have been created before my acceptance into the program, so prior to January 2009.

I set forth, requesting all my GHC records. They showed the sleep doctor did diagnose me with sleep apnea AND high cholesterol, both conditions which are acceptable for the program. I put my appeal together. mailed it off to UMP and held my breath.

I was able to exhale Friday July 10th when the program director with UMP called me and said my appeal was accepted. I was back into the program where I left off - waiting for a referral. I feel I'm finally back on track with my life.

Prior to July 10th, I had been going downhill. I injured my knee and haven't been able to exercise much, if not at all. Slight wrong movements cause a shooting pain and I'm afraid to push anything. I've had an MRI and will be meeting with the orthopedic doctor on the 17th. Hopefully it's good news.

I'm more inspired now than ever to do this, especially with my father's health going downhill. He's diabetic which has resulted in a kidney transplant, amputation on one leg, and countless surgeries. Now he's getting his other leg amputated. It's been hard to handle, but it's just inspired me to be a healthier person.

So wish me luck! Looks like I got the insurance gods back on my side :)
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Step 6: Check!

May 31, 2009

I am thinking of this WL journey as something that occurs in steps. The more steps there are to complete, the more successful I would feel. Here's what I think the steps are for me so far (I made add some more in later):

1) Realize - on my own - I am dangerously overweight and need outside medical assistance.
2) Confide in and get the support of my close family and friends.
3) Research options on how to pay.
4) Contact the insurance company and/or doctor.
5) Follow their workup:
   a) see therapist because overeating mainly happens because of what's going on in my head.
   b) start moving.
   c) start losing.
6) Lose 5% of my weight.
7) Get referred to and meet with hospital.
8) Go through their workups.
9) Have surgery.
10) Live life differently for the next 27 years than I have the previous 27 years.

#1 took many years for me to get to. I've always been overweight but never let it bother me; it was who I was and if someone couldn't deal with it, screw them. I had always been oblivious to the way my body really looked. For instance, I'd take a look at my wrist or see a muscle in my arm/leg in a different light/angle, see that it was slender or in shape and think the rest of my body was the same way. This can be a a great way to high self-esteem, but it's also damaging. I just didn't think everything I put into my mouth and how little I moved would affect me like Those People you see or hear about. I am not sure what changed: it could be my realization that I was the largest person in my workplace, I felt like I was smooshing Ian during "sessions", the lack of ability to conceive, or my burning desire to travel but having the fear of my size overpower the thought.
Whatever it was, I knew I needed help and my 15+ years of other weight loss attempts hadn't worked.

#2 came easy for me. I had already surrounded myself with loving, caring people who had already supported me no matter what. I had been in talks with Ian for awhile about WLS, bringing it up at inopportune times to see if his decision would change. It never did: He supported and loved me regardless of my decision. I then told my best friend Amy whose friendship is one that makes me happily tear up. She is a wonderful person and I am grateful to have her in my life. When I told her, she was automatically supportive and continues to be. What I appreciate most about her is that she's never made her general feelings about WLS known to me because it doesn't matter - what is important is she is there for me.
Next I told my parents who have been worried about me since day one. I think it brought on a tidal wave of relief for my dad, who does not want me to end up where he has health-wise. My mom, I believe, is more interested to see the mechanics of it - how it will work, how my eating habits will change, etc.
I told other people - my boss, other friends, sister-in-law and random people who I'll never see again.

Step 3 developed backwards and out of order, but is still #3. When I first started talking to Ian about it last year, I was with Group Health who covered WLS but only for certain health conditions. I had been diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea and knew sleep apnea counted, but it turns out I wasn't unhealthy enough - it had to be severe sleep apnea. Whatever. I am at a job where I am lucky enough to have the option of switching insurance plans so as of January 2009 I switched to Uniform Medical Plan.

#4: On January 15, I had a phone consultation with Riaz, the murse (male nurse) who is with UMP's Bariatric Surgery program. This came a few days after I had a negative mind-blowing experience with the doctor's scale: I weighed 371.1 lbs. I felt I was big enough to be on some TLC show about Those People. Again, I was unhealthy, but not unhealthy enough to get my 15 minutes of fame.
Riaz and I spent about an hour on the phone and he reviewed the program requirements as well as their recommendations. I won't bore the 2 people that happen to read this with the details, but the summary is I had to lose 5% of my weight (roughly 18 lbs) by July 14th to move onto the next step. I broke out my trusty calculator and computed I'd have to weigh about 352 lbs. Still under my high self-esteem, I stupidly told Riaz to make the goal 350 (which he did) because I like nice round numbers. (More about that to come later...)

#5 began innocently enough. I tried to do it all on my own using info I had gathered from a millenium of visits with nutritionists. I lost weight sooo slowly, it seemed it would take me forever to lose the 21 lbs. I then started to do Weight Watchers, a reliable companion but not one that had ever stuck around long enough in the past to help me. I began to lose more rapidly. I still had weeks where I'd overeat and gain, reintroducing my old friend Doubt. Doubt told me I was designed to be one of Those People in every room I entered for the rest of my life. Doubt said Ian and I were supposed to grow old together, without children, and be that couple that goes way overboard on Halloween to compensate for our lack of kin. Doubt said maybe I was destined to have my own TLC show, featuring me, one of Those People.
I decided years of being friends with Doubt hadn't given me anything but more pounds and misery. I was missing something: Sweat. I wasn't moving on a regular basis so I asked Sweat what I should do. Sweat said to sign up for Jazzercise, something new that would give me structure. I started that twice a week and enjoyed it; I am still enjoying it. Sweat and I are becoming good pals.
I then began seeing a counselor named Nancy. She is really nice with enormous experience with WLS patients. We've been working through issues I won't delve into here, but it has been very helpful.

#6 came yesterday - May 30th. I had weighed in May 21 and gained 1.2 lbs, putting my weight at 354.8. I started to panic, thinking over 4 months went by and I only had 7 more weeks or so or more or less i couldn't count and I wasn't going to make it and I wasn't going to make it those last 5 lbs were the hardest and why the hell did I round down to 350 I was soo stupid and arrogant and Doubt was right I was supposed to be one of Those People and and and.......

CRAP - who let Doubt back in?? Luckily, I didn't have to kick Doubt out because Ian and I went to San Francisco for Memorial Weekend with his sister. San Francisco is all Hill. If we walked 1 block from the hotel to the corner store, it would be upHill both directions. My legs, butt, arms, nails, back, and nose hurt from Hill. I began to Hate hill. When we got home, I didn't like the stairs because they were just like Hill. It sucked.
But then I went to WW on 5.30.09 and weighed in at 350.6 lbs...I got my goal! YES!! Doubt was out and Sweat and Hill were my friends (for now anyway).
I went to the local walk-in clinic today to get an official weigh weight of 350.5 which I will send to Riaz tomorrow. The next step will be to get referrals to either UW Medical Center or Virginia Mason - I haven't made up my mind yet.

For today, I will just sit and be patient on this glorious day and be happy with Who I Am.
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5.4.09

May 04, 2009

It's been a rough couple of days...

However, since it's my first blog, I will introduce myself. My name is Becky and I live in Kent, WA with my husband of three years and two cats. I work for the state and luckily my insurance covers WLS.

I have been overweight my entire life, but tried to not let it control what I did. I had great friends, a great attitude and got far in life. However, after topping the scale at 370, I knew my time of being carefree about obesity was ending. At my wedding, I boogied down too much. Nine months after having a sore knee from dancing at my reception, I made an appointment with a dr to have it looked at. A few hours before leaving for the appointment, I was walking up the stairs and something snapped in my knee. I had no idea what happened. The paramedics and firefighters responded and it took 6 of them to get me out of the house. I was on crutches for several weeks.

Another moment that shamed me was when we were on our honeymoon, we had a flight on a small plane. They moved us to "distribute the weight" around the plane. It was awful thinking my weight was rivaling the weight of the luggage. Those embarrassments kicked me into gear. 

I started looking to WLS but decided to give Weight Watchers (WW) another try. I did well on it but it didn't last, just like previous attempts. I was also diagnosed with high cholesterol and sleep apnea. Additionally, my husband and I were doing fertility treatments to try to conceive (PCOS made it difficult). I realize now that even if I got pregnant while obese, it probably wouldn't be a healthy pregnancy.

In November 2008, I started to look into WLS more closely. For me, any kind of surgery where things are removed or rerouted scares me so LapBand seemed to be a natural solution. Another plus was the band can be adjusted to allow for pregnancy. After discussing with my husband and best friend to get their support, I submitted the paperwork to my insurance company in Jan 09.

On 1.15.09, I had a phone consult with the nurse, Riaz, for the Bariatric Surgery program with Uniform Medical Plan. He laid out the game plan: keep track of what I ate, when I exercised and fax my weight to him every two weeks. If I lost 5% of my weight by July, I'd be referred to either University of Washington Medical Center or Virginia Mason (my choice). After going through their workup, they submit paperwork back to the insurance company where the medical director makes the final decision.

To prepare for life-long success, I've started seeing a counselor and working out regularly (Jazzercise is it for now!). I plan on seeing a nutritionist but can't find one covered by my insurance. I'm following WW to aide in losing the 5% more steadily.

The past few days have been difficult but I can't figure out why. My appetite has gotten out of control and I've found it hard to reign in the urges. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope to get back on track.

That's me for now. 
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About Me
Kent, WA
Location
42.5
BMI
Surgery
09/16/2009
Surgery Date
Apr 30, 2009
Member Since

Friends 6

Latest Blog 5

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