bfmanning
Life has been difficult lately...
Mar 31, 2009
My Dad had a slight stroke a week ago, yesterday. That set in motion a most challenging week that left me running back and forth to the hospital, not following my pre-surgery diet and completely exhausted to boot.
I took my Dad back to his group home yesterday and now I am trying to get back in gear for wls, but I feel stalled on so many levels. I am so glad that my Dad is doing better!! But I just don't know for how long. I feel concerned about putting myself out of commission for several weeks to recover from this surgery when he is in this space.
I am to see the weight loss surgeon this Thursday for the last appt. with him before the surgery. But my life is in such chaos right now that I do not know if I am going to be able to do the surgery when I had it planned--April 22nd. I decided it is best to just go ahead in and see him and 'fess up to what has been happening in my life. I was to lose 10 pounds by this Thursday, and I had already lost it...but alas, life has kicked me right, square in the butt, (as is often the case and it always leads to getting goofy with food), and I have gained back a few of these pounds. I am scared the weight loss surgeon is going to want to throw me away, believing me to be non-compliant...when I am not. But I just do not do well with food during mega stress and this is the EXACT REASON that I need wls as one more tool in my bag of goodies to help me stay on target with food when life gets out of control!
I am in the midst of all the presurgery screening labs, tests, xrays, etc., which is keeping me running around like a chicken with my head cut off while still trying to help take care of my Dad. This is also contributing now to my anxiety and stress levels. This was all do-able until I got so tuckered out and stressed out with Dad getting ill.
I keep reminding myself that God is in charge and that I must simply put one foot in front of the other and whatever is to be will become apparent.
Right now I even believe this!
I finally broke down and shared with my niece, my ex-sister-in-law and my daughter-in-law that I am planning weight loss surgery. I have already told all of my friends. They are all supportive. I still have yet to tell my children or my brothers. And I will not tell my father or his sister, they simply will not be able to deal with the worry about this, they are both very elderly. But I do plan to tell my children and my brothers on the 19th of April.
Today is my annual mammogram, tomorrow an echo cardiogram, Thursday, the weight loss surgeon, got to go get more blood work too, Chest x-ray on Friday, have a dexa-scan next Monday followed right after by a thyroid ultrasound. The following week I have an abdominal ultrasound and I have to see the breast doctor! Aughghghghghg!
I just cannot think about all of this stuff...I must just take one day, one minute, one second at a time and I will get through all of this!!!
I have missed conversing with everyone and being part of the group here lately. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful to me in so many ways. I am very grateful!! I love reading all the trials and tribulations of my fellow wls friends and mostly I just love all the affection and acceptance that everyone seems to share with each other around here!
Barbara
