Tia T.

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How does one go about deciding a size for the goal dress/pants?  I have been trying to find one for the last couple of weeks and can not decide what size to buy.   Do I buy the smallest size I have worn as an adult, the smallest size I have ever worn, or the goal that I know I can reach?  The smallest size I have ever worn was a size 9 and that was in junior high.  The smallest size I have ever worn as an adult was a size 14.  My wife says to buy a 12 because we are sure I can reach that goal, but I am not sure if that's where I want to be done.  I have always thought my body was not meant to wear a size 7, but I have never been thin.  Perhaps the thin me will be a size 7.  So, what size do I get: the one I know I can reach or the one that I would love to end up but do not know if I will reach?
 

 Ever since the doctors visit I have not been able to sleep much or concentrate on anything, but weight loss.  I remember little 8 year old me wishing to not be fat.  That little 8 year old girl feels like this is my genie in a lamp that has come true.  I have the opportunity to be less than fat.  This Little voice is motivation in itself to be successful!  When I have tryed to lose before, I was striving to lose enough to get out of the "so fat that I can't find clothes that fit right" range, but never a normal weight.
That brings me to the BIG question at hand: what is my normal?  While talking to Oakley, he asked me what my goal would be and I told him 145.  He seemed to agree with that number pretty easily.  It seems unreachable but I look at other profiles that end up around there from my starting range.  So as my train of thought changes to the end goal, I am trying to decide what to do for my "before" pictures.  I want them to really show where I start, so that as I am losing I can really see the changes.  I think that I will do some in little exercise shorts and sports bra.  I know that gasping came from your mouth because your thinking how embarrassing to show bare midriff as a "morbid", but I think it is important.  Now, whether I get the nerves to post them anytime soon is a whole other fat-free-enchilada.  
The other goal-oriented item that I can't stop thinking about is buying a "goal outfit".  I started looking around in the JcPenny clearance (dresses for $10!) but I am unsure what size to buy.  Do I go the easy way and buy a size 11.  It's the only non-plus size I have worn since I graduated from girls clothes.  It would seem that it's a good goal considering that I am starting at a size 24, but what if I am able to reach it before I am done?  Should I aim for a size 9?  But what happens if I never reach a size 9?  This is the stuff that is all-consuming right now.
The last thing that keeps me from concentrating on the present is a Pinterest board that I was going to make.  I decided to create a board of clothes that I would like to wear when I am out of the cursed-to-ugly-clothes plus sizes.  But in trying to find clothes to pin, I discovered that I don't know how to shop as a skinny girl.  I have no idea what I would like to wear if I was not concerned with if it comes in a size 24, or if it is to clingy around the waist.  I know that it is any ones guess as to how my skin will be, so I am sure that there are still questions about where the clothes cling, but  I couldn't even decide on a few things that did not resemble fat-girl clothes.
I hope that I can look back on this in a year and laugh about how I got all worked up over the little things.

Down another 2 pounds on my 6 month supervised diet.

Ok, Doc says that the sleeve is the right one for me.  I honestly think that it is the one he prefers to perform, but I accept his reasons as valid.  I have 5 more llloooonnnggg months to wait to see if I can get approved but the very awsome insurance cordinator in his office seems to feel positive about the claim based on my bmi.  I have tried to be proactive this past month by starting the 6 months of supervised diet and started food logging.  This is nothing new to me, as this has been my go-to method for weightloss over the past 5 years.  The great news is that I have already lost 4 pounds so I am on my way.
So 268, hope to lose another 36 pre-op, and then 87 post op. 

 I am a broke student that had never thought that WLS would be in my future until my doctor asked me if I had ever considered it.  "Well, no.  I am a broke student"  She explained to me that she has a couple of patients that were able get medicare to approve the surgery.  So, here I am: daily checking in on post op blogs and vlogs.  I can't get it off my mind!  I have been overwieght from the time I was 1 (with the exception of a short period of time after I had my daughter due to an abusive, depressing and malnurited situation).  I have had success losing a couple of times in the past few years by counting calories and fat, but I always put the weight back on.  My mother-in-law is about 9 months post op, but her surgery was for medical reasons more than losing weight.
Back to the here and now:  I am attending THE seminar in 1 1/2 weeks and wish I could know now if medicare will approve me or not!  I currently weigh 274 pounds, am 5'2 so my bmi is 50 (I hate the word morbid!).  I have been between 240 and 280 for the past 10 years.  I would like to enjoy being active and doing things like yoga and bike riding, but as all of us morbids know, it's hard when your fat gets in the way.  I can not remeber the last time I did not feel self-consious about jumping and the jiggiling that accompanies it.  I am suppose to take my daughter to Disneyland next year before she enters teenage-hood, but I don't think I will fit in any of the seats.  I cant find underwear that fit well and are not grannies, I hate that I can't talk and walk at the same time because I can't breeth and I almost always have a pain in my ass (literally).

...so I wait.