Twirling Thumbs

Jun 15, 2012

 I am a broke student that had never thought that WLS would be in my future until my doctor asked me if I had ever considered it.  "Well, no.  I am a broke student"  She explained to me that she has a couple of patients that were able get medicare to approve the surgery.  So, here I am: daily checking in on post op blogs and vlogs.  I can't get it off my mind!  I have been overwieght from the time I was 1 (with the exception of a short period of time after I had my daughter due to an abusive, depressing and malnurited situation).  I have had success losing a couple of times in the past few years by counting calories and fat, but I always put the weight back on.  My mother-in-law is about 9 months post op, but her surgery was for medical reasons more than losing weight.
Back to the here and now:  I am attending THE seminar in 1 1/2 weeks and wish I could know now if medicare will approve me or not!  I currently weigh 274 pounds, am 5'2 so my bmi is 50 (I hate the word morbid!).  I have been between 240 and 280 for the past 10 years.  I would like to enjoy being active and doing things like yoga and bike riding, but as all of us morbids know, it's hard when your fat gets in the way.  I can not remeber the last time I did not feel self-consious about jumping and the jiggiling that accompanies it.  I am suppose to take my daughter to Disneyland next year before she enters teenage-hood, but I don't think I will fit in any of the seats.  I cant find underwear that fit well and are not grannies, I hate that I can't talk and walk at the same time because I can't breeth and I almost always have a pain in my ass (literally).

...so I wait.

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