bigbear68

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Well I had my tummy tucks last friday. Its been 5 days and I am still in horendous pain.  The frist night I had extreme anxiety wondering why the hell I did this to myself.  They removed 8 lbs of just skin! yuk!  Everyone tells me Im going to be happy afterwards. I probably will but right now I hate it. The goal was to do it so I could be free of the terrible rashes, but another side effect that is great is that, I dont have all that weight on my lower back.  Im sure I will be grateful later. :)

Well Im 2 yrs post op and kept the weight off.  My insurance has approved a full tummy tuck and that will be happening sometime before May is finished.  Im nervous but excited about it.  I will upload a before and after picture then :)

Here is an update on me. OMG I am finally living life! I have to stop and think about what it was like when I was up in the 320's....life was so hard. I have to remember how It felt to roll over in my bed at night. Hard and painful.  How I had to get rocking to get myself off the couch.  I was in so much pain and embarassment.  I couldnt walk around the store. Just standing still was hard and tedious. Life has so much more quality for me now.  I updated my interests on here...they used to say, I cant do this or I never do this because Im so big...Now they say I CAN! I CAN!!!! I wonder why it took me so long to make the rny decision. It is def. the best thing I ever did for myself. I am very happy at how I feel right now and believe me it has nothing to do with my looks...its all for my health.  We often take for granted the simple things in life we do, that are so amazingly hard for a very mobidly obese person to do.  My heart goes out to all of the people who have not made the weight loss decision yet or for some reason just cant do it.   Now I understand what life is supposed to be.  How it shouldnt hurt to exist.   I still have arthritis and bone problems...but its different now.  I just hope that if you read this and you havent decided yet to do it, that I may be a little bit of a inspiration. I know how bad you feel and there is a way out. A way to live life again.  I'd love to hear from you. take care!

Im happy.  I admitt things have been hard.  I have had to have my hip replaced in Oct....my knee replaced in Feb...a knee manipulation in April and looking at the other hip replaced this Oct.........BUT  I am under 200 lbs now.  I used to be a whopping 322 lbs!  What a great thing!  I went camping this past week...I did so much!  I went swimming...EVEN for a paddle boat ride!!!!!!!!!! A lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng walk...lots of long walks!!!!!!!!!! I fit on the playground swing!!!! Yes I still have joint pain, but Im fixing that.  for now I CAN LIVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!  I forgot what living was when I was up in the 300's.  I sat all day and even had a hard time rolling over in bed. LIfe is good now.............LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Well.....Its been over a year now since I had my surgery.  16 months to be exact.  I  have had ups and downs.  I had a total hip replacement in Oct 2010 and a total knee replacement just now, Feb. 2011.  its been hard.  I have to have the other hip done before 2 yrs time.  I ruined my bones being so overweight.  I have been going up and down lately with the weight....going from 198 to 208. Seems Im eating too much at times.  I cant excersize yet, I think once I can that will help a lot. My spirits have been down too, from all this recovery.  I'll update again soon.

Well, Here I am, at 11 months post op.   I have lost quite a bit of weight, but I still want to lose about 50  more.  I feel a heck of a lot better.  I did so much damage to my bones being overweight.  I have degenerative arthritis throughout my whole body and I had to have a total hip replacement on Oct. 12th.  I am just starting to feel a little decent 3 weeks after my hip replacement.  In the spring I have to have my knee replaced and then before 5 yrs is up, my other hip.  I really did a job on myself huh?  Well I am at a stall right now with my weight loss.  I can not excersize at all....just what they want me to do in PT.  I really cant walk very far.  I use a walker and I am just starting to learn how to use a cane.  I cant wait to be able to start to excersize again, my muscles feel weak and boy do I need a  good workout .  I have hip precautions to follow though because its only been 3 weeks and I can pop my hip out...that would mean back in the hosp.  I dont want that...hell no! SO for right now, I just have to wait it out.  I am a little upset with myself with the fact that I have been eating more than I should.  I think I might have stretched out pouch a little bit. I am able to eat a whole sandwich.  It was impossible to eat even a half of one before.  One does completely fill me up though.  I just dont want to go backwards.  I was going through some pictures and I found one of me back in 2008,  I was 322lbs there. I was so unhappy.  It was hard to even roll over in bed or get up out of a chair....I look at those pics now and I wonder how I was surviving...what was I doing to myself? I was going through some tough times and I think I just absorbed myself in food.  My stomach was so large that I could hold an abnormally amount of food in there without being sick. Thank God for this RNY weight loss tool I did.  I know its just a tool, but thank God!  I'll write more soon.

Well, its been almost 7 months post op now.  Oh I went from 304lbs day of surgery to 213lbs today.  I think that is great progress but sometimes I think Im losing it too slow.  I dont get sick like I used to anymore, mostly because I do follow the rules better.  I do tend to eat things I should not, like pasta . Its kindof hard being married to a 100% sicilian.  Pasta is a way of life here lol.  I am good about bread though.   I know my tummy just cant handle it.  If I really crave a sandwich I used a wheat wrap and wrap up some tuna with lettuce, tomatoe and cheese.  Its very filling and kindof tricks me thinking I just had a sandwich.  I miss subs.  I went a couple of times to the subshop with my hubby but I know I cant eat that so I usually order all the contents of a turkey sub as a salad, minus the bread.  Its pretty yummy.   I dont get the dumping like some people do. Ice cream does bother me though. I can eat chocolate sometimes...but No way would I chance a piece of rich cake.  Just a few nibbles satisfies me.  I feel like I am not going without because basically I take a little taste of just about everything everyone else has and I dont feel deprived.  I am worried that I dont have a biatric doctor right now. The closest who will accept my insurance is about 3 hours away.  I go to my primary but I know she doesnt feel comfortable being my main doctor, shes worried about complications if they should arrise.  I know I am vitamin deficient.  I had bloodwork and I have been getting a B12 shot everyweek.  I think that something else must be low because I am fighting severe dry skin and hair loss.  I know Protien is part of the problem.  I just cant stomach the drinks...and I dont have the extra money to buy the good kind.  I do try to eat meats first and eggs and such, but I know its not enough.  I wish there was a way to get free protien drinks but I know that is just wishfull thinking.   I am glad I have been doing this blog...It will give me something to look back about in about a year.  well thats it for now.  caio

I sit here and I wonder if I am doing this right.  I dont have a gastric doctor now because mine left the area and the nearest one who takes my insurance is 3 hours away.  I have a regular doc who is trying hard to keep tabs on me ...she did bloodwork.  I am B12 deficient and have to have those darn shots everyweek now.  I know I am vitamin deficient because my hair is falling out terribly, my nails are splitting and I have wicked dry skin.  I take my 2 chewable flintstones everyday....I take 3 calcium pills a day and eat as much protein as I can.  I seem to be losing it much more slowly now.  I am down to 220lbs....which is good considering I was 304lbs day of surgery.....but I had my surgury on this past January 18th? is that a good amount of weight lost?  I eat pretty good sometimes.  If I dont eat until lunch I can finish one hoffman snappy german hotdog with about a 1/2 cup of porkNbeans....that was lunch today.  It took me a long time and a lot of chewing but I finished it...is that too much? I kindof feel like I am lost a bit.   I hope Im doing this right...I never want to be that heavy again.  I dont know :(

Well, this morning I did A LOT of excersize.  Im in pain now.  but it felt good to do it!  I thought I would be feeling better, and I am somewhat, but my hip is giving me trouble.  From being a hundred times more active, my pain worsened a lot more.  I went for an xray and mri, and I have severe degenerative arthritis and the hip is ground down to a pulp.  Even the tissue around it is all ripped.  They say I have to have a hip replacement in my future...I started PT....I will be starting aqua therapy soon...... Im bummed.  Its really frustrating because sometimes I feel the odds are just against me, but Im not giving up! NO WAY!

Ok, so I guess its my turn for the dreaded stall.  Im at 240 for awhile now.  I hope it passes soon.  BUT I have been losing my hair!  It falls out in clumpfulls.  I dont drink protein shakes, I gag on them...could that be the reason?