Bk_Diva76
Revelation!
Aug 05, 2007
I am almost 7 weeks out and I have to say that I feel really good.
Everyday has gotten better and I can now say that I made the right desicion for me.
Physically, I feel Sooooo much better (no more pains) and emotionally I am not tied to food. I was not a binge eater or emotional eater but I was obessed with food because I was terrified of food because I would gain weight by looking at food. In the months before my surgery I was living on fruits and salads and only managed to maintain my weight not lose. So this new life is definitly giving me a sense of freedom from food. I am grateful for that. The things I thougt I'd miss and did miss in the 1st 3 weeks I no longer think about. I'm sure that may change but hopefully by that time I am at a new place and not the least bit interested.
Emotionally, this has been quite a roller coaster for me...I don't think I've really accepted until recently what I had done to myself or the fact that I needed to do it. I think there was an emotional block (fueled by continued stigma of the procedure and a bit of shame on my end due to family issues) on my end that wouldn't let me think about the major change in my life that I've just underwent. In the beginning I was thinking about it like some secret cosmetic procedure that no one will know about and that I could hide. But this has been life-altering and there is NO shame needed. I don't need to hide from the ignorance, jealousy, stigma or ill-will of other people. I just need to take satisfaction in the fact that I took control of my health and ultimately my life! I am so happy that I did!
Well tomorrow is back to work after 7 weeks away.....I was dreading it for all the reasons listed above but after meditation and prayer I now know all will be well because I am well. I have nothing to fear and nothing to hide. People have always admired my strength and high self-esteem in spite of my size. Sharing this experience is a living testimony of God's love, grace and mercy for us. Prayer and faith helped me make this descision to have surgery, get through it and ultimately will lead to my future success. I am thankful to God for that and I now know this is my testimony. NO FEAR!!
My testimony about my experience could lead someone to take their own health into their hands (even if not through surgery) and can educate anyone misinformed, skeptical or afraid of the unknown.
Well it's time for bed tomorrow is another new beginning.
Everyday has gotten better and I can now say that I made the right desicion for me.
Physically, I feel Sooooo much better (no more pains) and emotionally I am not tied to food. I was not a binge eater or emotional eater but I was obessed with food because I was terrified of food because I would gain weight by looking at food. In the months before my surgery I was living on fruits and salads and only managed to maintain my weight not lose. So this new life is definitly giving me a sense of freedom from food. I am grateful for that. The things I thougt I'd miss and did miss in the 1st 3 weeks I no longer think about. I'm sure that may change but hopefully by that time I am at a new place and not the least bit interested.
Emotionally, this has been quite a roller coaster for me...I don't think I've really accepted until recently what I had done to myself or the fact that I needed to do it. I think there was an emotional block (fueled by continued stigma of the procedure and a bit of shame on my end due to family issues) on my end that wouldn't let me think about the major change in my life that I've just underwent. In the beginning I was thinking about it like some secret cosmetic procedure that no one will know about and that I could hide. But this has been life-altering and there is NO shame needed. I don't need to hide from the ignorance, jealousy, stigma or ill-will of other people. I just need to take satisfaction in the fact that I took control of my health and ultimately my life! I am so happy that I did!
Well tomorrow is back to work after 7 weeks away.....I was dreading it for all the reasons listed above but after meditation and prayer I now know all will be well because I am well. I have nothing to fear and nothing to hide. People have always admired my strength and high self-esteem in spite of my size. Sharing this experience is a living testimony of God's love, grace and mercy for us. Prayer and faith helped me make this descision to have surgery, get through it and ultimately will lead to my future success. I am thankful to God for that and I now know this is my testimony. NO FEAR!!
My testimony about my experience could lead someone to take their own health into their hands (even if not through surgery) and can educate anyone misinformed, skeptical or afraid of the unknown.
Well it's time for bed tomorrow is another new beginning.
Wooo, What a ride!
Jul 26, 2007
It's been so busy these last few weeks!
I am now about 5 1/2 weeks out.
Things are going well.
I've started going to the gym and I feel good.
I am just still struggling with being tired all the time.
This week I've been at my Mom's helping her through a surgery of her own (not this one). So I've been busy and really tired.
I have been able to get in my water and vitamins though.
Just need more rest.
1 more week and then back to work....
I am a little apprehensive about that.
I didn't tell anyone about the surgery but people have begun speculating and talking about me so I think it will be a little awkward.
I am really concerned about how to eat at work. That has always been a problem. There never seems to be good choices in the workplace.
But I guess i will make it through if I start bringing my own lunch.
I will make a big pot of chili on Sunday night before i go back.
More to come later
--Ch--
I am now about 5 1/2 weeks out.
Things are going well.
I've started going to the gym and I feel good.
I am just still struggling with being tired all the time.
This week I've been at my Mom's helping her through a surgery of her own (not this one). So I've been busy and really tired.
I have been able to get in my water and vitamins though.
Just need more rest.
1 more week and then back to work....
I am a little apprehensive about that.
I didn't tell anyone about the surgery but people have begun speculating and talking about me so I think it will be a little awkward.
I am really concerned about how to eat at work. That has always been a problem. There never seems to be good choices in the workplace.
But I guess i will make it through if I start bringing my own lunch.
I will make a big pot of chili on Sunday night before i go back.
More to come later
--Ch--
2 WEEKS!!!1
Jul 03, 2007
Today is 2 weeks out to the day!
I feel pretty good.
No more gas. And I am down 10 pounds.
The only problems are:
I am sick of pureed foods
I am stalled on the scale (uuughhh)
and most importantly...
I'M STARVING!!!!
I thought I wasn't supposed to feel hungry these 1st few weeks???
I am Sooooo hungry! I can't believe this!
And I can only eat purees and liquids so I am not getting anything solid.
I don't know what to do....
I have my follow up with my surgeon next week so I guess I am starving until then.
11 Days!!
Jun 30, 2007
OK So I am now 11 days out!
I walked a 1/2 mile today to the grocery store with my Mom. I made it but by the time we got back (via cab) I was exhausted!!
I am glad that I did it though.
Most of the gas is now gone and so are 12 lbs. I am sooo happy!
So far everything I have eaten has stayed down and I am grateful. I have to admit though I am still sick of 'pureed foods' I can't wait until my next appointment with Dr. Kini so that I can officially be put on 'soft foods' . I am staying on the plan though because I don't want any problems.
It's a holiday weekend but no BBQs for me!
I will be good!
See you all at the next stage 'soft foods'
I walked a 1/2 mile today to the grocery store with my Mom. I made it but by the time we got back (via cab) I was exhausted!!
I am glad that I did it though.
Most of the gas is now gone and so are 12 lbs. I am sooo happy!
So far everything I have eaten has stayed down and I am grateful. I have to admit though I am still sick of 'pureed foods' I can't wait until my next appointment with Dr. Kini so that I can officially be put on 'soft foods' . I am staying on the plan though because I don't want any problems.
It's a holiday weekend but no BBQs for me!
I will be good!
See you all at the next stage 'soft foods'
Seven Days Out!!!
Jun 26, 2007
Whoo-Hoo!!! 
I am 7 days out!
So far no complications and I am down 10 lbs. from my surgery weight, 17 from my consult weight.
I am happy I made the right decision even though I am tired of "pureed" foods.
Oh what I wouldn't give for a chicken wing!
(But I guess that's what got me here in the 1st place)
Thankfully, so far everything I've eaten has agreed with me and no need for the barf bucket.
I know this part of the journey is not this smooth for everyone but I am grateful that it has been for me and I hope it is this smooth for most.
More to come soon!!!
I am 7 days out!
So far no complications and I am down 10 lbs. from my surgery weight, 17 from my consult weight.
I am happy I made the right decision even though I am tired of "pureed" foods.
Oh what I wouldn't give for a chicken wing!
(But I guess that's what got me here in the 1st place)
Thankfully, so far everything I've eaten has agreed with me and no need for the barf bucket.
I know this part of the journey is not this smooth for everyone but I am grateful that it has been for me and I hope it is this smooth for most.
More to come soon!!!
I'm HOME!!!
Jun 22, 2007
Make room for me on the loser's bench!
I am home and officially 3 days Post-Op!!! Woo-hoo!!
I cam home yesterday but was still really tired.
I am soooo glad to be home and I'll be happier once I pass all of this gas!
I want to say thanks to all of you who posted to my page all of your well wishes and support.
I truly means a lot to me!
I want to say a very special Thank You to my super duper "Angel" Lilianam for really being supportive and always calling to check on me!
She is the best and I can't wait to see her on the other side too! You'll be over before you know what's happening!
My surgeon, Dr. Kini is "The Man" and my anthegiologist (??) Jason he was the bomb! And a cutie to boot!
I have to say that I have been blessed so far...No complications and not too much pain.
So far, my worst complaint is the gas and that's to be expected.
Thanks again everyone and I will update my profile as soon as I have strength.
--Carla--
Today's the day
Jun 18, 2007
Well it's T minus 10 hours (give or take).
I have to report to the hospital at 10am.
My surgery is at 12noon.
My mind is racing but I am still at peace with the decision.
I am just thinking about the future and how hard it will or won't be.
But I guess it can't be any harder than it's been to carry all this weight my entire life.
I am excited but cautious....
I guess I am just scared of the unknown future more than the surgery.
But that is to be expected (so I've been told)
Well it's time for bed.
Tomorrow (or later today) it's the loser's bench!
I have to report to the hospital at 10am.
My surgery is at 12noon.
My mind is racing but I am still at peace with the decision.
I am just thinking about the future and how hard it will or won't be.
But I guess it can't be any harder than it's been to carry all this weight my entire life.
I am excited but cautious....
I guess I am just scared of the unknown future more than the surgery.
But that is to be expected (so I've been told)
Well it's time for bed.
Tomorrow (or later today) it's the loser's bench!
Reflections
Jun 17, 2007
Well, I am 2 days away and I am in a really reflective place.
I spoke to my Dad today (Father's Day) and he gave me his support and told me he hopes all goes very well. That really meant a lot as my Dad is a man of very few words!!!
I am really ready and surprisingly not as afraid or nervous as I thought I would be. At least not yet
I really just pray for no complications and a healthier life after this surgery.
I want to be able to live a life that is no longer controlled by food or weight issues.
I've struggled with my weight my entire life. And even though I am not a binge eater or junk food junkie it's always been hard.
When I went into my surgeon's office for the 1st time I was desperate because I am at a point where I am deathly afraid of food or eating because I can't lose weight no matter what I do.
So I am just praying that I can be free of complications and have a new healthy active life.
I believe that God will bless and guide my journey to success.
And I will do my part by following all "the rules" and my Doctor's instructions.
Soon to be on the loser's bench,
--Carla--
I spoke to my Dad today (Father's Day) and he gave me his support and told me he hopes all goes very well. That really meant a lot as my Dad is a man of very few words!!!
I am really ready and surprisingly not as afraid or nervous as I thought I would be. At least not yet
I really just pray for no complications and a healthier life after this surgery.
I want to be able to live a life that is no longer controlled by food or weight issues.
I've struggled with my weight my entire life. And even though I am not a binge eater or junk food junkie it's always been hard.
When I went into my surgeon's office for the 1st time I was desperate because I am at a point where I am deathly afraid of food or eating because I can't lose weight no matter what I do.
So I am just praying that I can be free of complications and have a new healthy active life.
I believe that God will bless and guide my journey to success.
And I will do my part by following all "the rules" and my Doctor's instructions.
Soon to be on the loser's bench,
--Carla--
ARRRRGH!!!
Jun 14, 2007
5 days and counting......
This liquid diet is killing me!
But I will stay focused!
I am sooo tired though.
I am really starting to get excited....
I'm praying that everything goes well and this tool works for me so that I can change my life!
Soon to the loser's bench!!!
This liquid diet is killing me!
But I will stay focused!
I am sooo tired though.
I am really starting to get excited....
I'm praying that everything goes well and this tool works for me so that I can change my life!
Soon to the loser's bench!!!
A Slight Change
May 25, 2007
Still on track.
However I got a call from Jennifer this morning.
Dr. Kini has changed his office hours to Wednesday so my date has been moved up a day to the 19th.
So still on target.
I am a little frustrated with the weight loss though.
I think I have it now though since I have gone low carb.
I thought that would be best since I have to begin practicing a high-protein diet.
Good Luck to me.
I think I am really ready now.
However I got a call from Jennifer this morning.
Dr. Kini has changed his office hours to Wednesday so my date has been moved up a day to the 19th.
So still on target.
I am a little frustrated with the weight loss though.
I think I have it now though since I have gone low carb.
I thought that would be best since I have to begin practicing a high-protein diet.
Good Luck to me.
I think I am really ready now.
About Me
New York, NY
Location
38.5
BMI
Surgery
06/19/2007
Surgery Date
Jan 27, 2007
Member Since
