Bridget P.
I am 24 years old. I have a wonderful loving husband and 3 beautiful children ages 4, 3, and 2. I have been heavy all my life, but since October 1999 I have been gaining.
One day when a co-worker took a picture of me and some others at a luncheon. I never realized how large I had become until I saw that picture. I was talking with someone at work who had been through the surgery and saw how sucessful she was. She went through almost every detail of her experience.
At that point I decided it was time for a change. I had tried many diet plans, pills, and programs. I had already been diagnosed with high BP and was having major problems with my feet. So I called my PCP, made an appointment and got a referral. Went and saw the surgeon.
Right now things are on in slow motion. When I started my endevour my insurance was Southern Health. But I found out my insurance was going to change as of Jan 2002. Which turned out to be a good thing. Because Cigna (the new company) only has one requirement..... a 12 week supervised WLP, which is alot less than what the other insurance required. My PCP does not believe in "diet programs" so nothing was documented.... So thats where I am now.. on my 7th week of seeing the nutritionist. I hope to have the surgery scheduled by sometime in May or so. We shall see.
3/17/02
I have decided to start documenting everything with dates. I think writing about everything will help me deal with the anticipation and anxiety. April 10th is when my supervised WLP ends, at that time I will sign my records release and they will write-up their report and send it to the surgeon and to CIGNA. As of 3/13/02 I had lost 10 lbs, I go every Wedsnesday. I have tried so many times at losing weight. I wish all the formalities would end. I find myself on here alot reading peoples profiles and looking at their before and after pics, wishing I was on the other side. I have been feeling alot of emotions lately. The other night I was on here looking & reading and I just got overwhelmed and started to cry. I know what I want.... and I hate the obstacles in front of me and it just makes me emotional. I read about different peoples experiences with my insurance company. I have read where some people don't have 1 lick of trouble and then some that had to fight. I am so worried that I am going to have to fight. I will fight.. but I just don't want to wait any longer. I am ready for a new way of life. I hope that somewhere along the way someone reads my entries on here and it helps them, just like so many others have helped me. Well I will update again later.. have to go get ready for church tonight. =)
3/20/02
Ahhh, the first day of Spring and it is rainy and dark out. Had my nutritionist appointment today, and I have gone up 1 lb. I am hoping that it is just water weight. I have what seems to be 3 very long weeks until my WLP is over. My husband slipped in the kitchen yesterday and bruised his back. Went to the doctor today and they just sent him to the ER because he is running a fever and a few other problems. They want to be sure he did not hurt his kidney. So much for now. =)
3/22/02
Well I had such a surprise today. My husband had to go see the doctor again today because when they sent him to the ER for his tests, the did a CT scan. Well they found that he has an enlarged liver. So he went today to have a few more tests run and whatnot. Anyway, he has been kicking around the idea of the surgery too, his BMI is 49. He has never really been ashamed of his weight.. never really bothered him. Anyway, he comes home from our PCP and says that he asked for a referral to the surgeon so he can have WLS too. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy. I want him to be healthy for himself, and me and especially our children. So now he has to go through everything I have gone through thus far. LOL Oh well I will be there with him every step of the way. =)
3/29/02
I did not realize how crappy of a day this was going to turn out to be. I feel I live my life just going through the motions. Completely numb to everything sometimes. I always appear happy to everyone, and I have always felt that it was genuine most of the time. Today, I have been given my reality check. I have so many emotions erupting from me I can't stand it. I have no confidence in my relationships with people. I constantly question and second guess everything. Sometimes I think to myself, if I died today who would it really matter to? Who would come to my funeral? My husband tells me all the time how much he loves me and I know my children love me. Today I have felt like crap all day. I think my blood pressure was up most of the day because my head has had this pressure in it all day.. and then I met my husband for dinner with the kids and of course since I felt like crap most of the day I was in a completely fowl mood. I just wanna feel better, healthwise and about ME. I wanna have more energy and be happy and be able to come home and play with my kids instead of making them go play quietly cause I am so tired and stressed. I feel like no one cares about what I need or what is wrong with me.... and I have no right to care that no one seems to care. Whew .. I needed to get that out.. but now from crying my head hurts more. I needed to vent and I feel this is very theraputic for me. I will update more on the surgery when I get some more information. On a lighter note... only 2 more appts until my doctors office can submit for approval. =)
4/3/02
Well I completed another week of my WLP. I am down to 304 3/4. Everything is going okie... had my little breakdown last week. I did get a little bummed yesterday when my Nutritionist informed me I have 2 more appointments instead of just 1. I was miscalculating... because I missed one when I was sick. ACK! Oh well it will be over soon. My husband got a new job...he starts tomorrow...He is now the Executive Chef at the Surf Rider Grill. Good thing I don't like seafood or I would be screwed...LOL j/k I am very happy... and glad to have the additional money coming in. Thats all for now. =)
4/14/02
Nothing really new to update on. Joshua's new job is going good. Can't wait till we have all the bills caught up. My last nutritionist appt is on Weds 4/17/02, that is also the day for Joshua's consult with the WL surgeon. So I took that day off. I need the break. =)
4/19/02
Finished my 12 week supervised weight loss program. Now I have to wait until the nutritionist faxes over the info to the surgeons office and then they can submit for approval. I hate this "weighting" game. Life is pretty much the same for right now. =)
4/23/02
Well... my paperwork was submitted to the insurance company on Friday. I called on Monday to verify that they had received them, and they had. So now I wait. The lady at the insurance company now says 72 hours. So I plan on calling tomorrow and checking in again. Thats all for now. =)
4/24/02
I'M APPROVED..... Found out today that I am approved. I called this morning and they told me that it was still pending.. and that they should have an answer by the end of the day. So I waited until 4pm and called them... told it was still pending.... had a feeling I should call them again 1 more time today... called at 5:15 and was given my authorization #. I was SOOOOOOOOO happy.. I could hardly believe him... I verified that it was definetly for surgery..(not bloodwork or a consult or something) LOL. Tomorrow I am going to call my surgeon and give them the number and hopefully get a date. =)
4/29/02
I'M DENIED...Called the surgeons office on 4/25/02 and gave them the authorization code that I was given by the guy. She said she would start working on getting me scheduled for my appts and for surgery. Well on 4/27/02 I received my letter in the mail giving me all my appt dates and said my surgery was scheduled for 6/5/02 at St Marys hospital. Well I was supposed to have surgery at Henrico Doctors hospital.. so Today I called to verify if an error had been made. SO... the surgeons office called me back and said that they had received a call from the insurance company today stating that I was actually DENIED. Stating they needed more documentation of my weight gaining history and weight loss attempts. I called them and they said that the guy who gave me the info read it wrong and that it was actually still pending when he told me it was approved. So today I spent the whole day upset.. running to several doctors offices in another city to get medical release forms filled out. SO I will keep you all updated on what will happen from now on. =(
5/6/02
They mailed my appeal and information for approval w/ an appeal letter today. So we shall see how long this is going to take. I have decided to just take each day as it comes. =)
5/14/02
I have called CIGNA a couple of times now.. never getting anywhere or any helpful information. I finally got a supervisor today. HE ACTUALLY CALLED ME BACK LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD!! He told me that they did receive my appeal and they are working on it. I asked him how long should I anticipate the appeal would take.... he said normally up to 30 days... but considering that this issue has been escalated.. it should only be a couple of days.. and to call back in a few days. I am hoping everything goes through soon.. I would like to have surgery the first week in July.. my husband has vacation then. =)
5/21/02
THEY DENIED ME AGAIN. Said the documentation they had was not "clear" and that my hypertension is being kept under control with medication. Called the insurance commission and my HR person.. I am so upset. I hate these hoops.. those people are dealing with MY life .. no theirs.. they don't even know me. They would have seen that my BMI has been over 40 for the past 5 years if they knew how to read a medical record. Oh and I have to have had 3 failed supervised WL programs in the past 5 years. =(
11/28/03
Long time no update. Well as I stated in my last post they did deny me again. I put in for another appeal... and while I was waiting for them to look at it, I got pregnant. Found out I was pregnant on 6/16/02... the day of my 1st OB appt I weighed in at 314lbs. I finally got my approval for CIGNA on 9/11/02.... BUT I was pregnant still, and as of the 1st of the year I would have new insurance AGAIN. So I would have to start all over....well...Every month I would go to my appts and I would lose more weight. I was very pleased... I was eating regularly and still losing. Well Avery was due in Feb, unfortunately there was a complication and he was stillborn at 35wks on January 16th 2003, due to a true knot in his umbilical cord he was 6lb 4oz and 20 inches long. Oh and to top it off, my husband had a vasectomy in Nov 2002 =( because we were going to be done after Avery was born. He has since had a vasectomy reversal in Aug 2003... so maybe.. God willing we will be blessed again someday.
I guess those are some of the curves that life throws you. Needless to say WLS kinda was the last thing on my mind. Plus I had lost a total of 54lbs during my pregnancy... because on 6/19 I was 314 and 1 wk after delivery I was now weighing 260. I felt like maybe I was not supposed to have the surgery afterall. That maybe Avery saved me from something bad that might have happened during surgery. Anyway... I was satisfied with being the 260.... but now it is starting to come back again... and I am very unhappy about it. So I have decided to start over again... in a new state with new insurance and a little bit lighter than I was before. I still have high blood pressure... and pretty much everything I did before. Just hoping it won't take so long this time. AND.. guess who hubbies new insurance carrier is ... you guessed it... CIGNA... unless we do it through a different one.. we are researching that alternative. =0) I will start posting again.. hopefully it will help in this "weighting game".
3/3/04
I have my appointment with Dr. Elias scheduled for 3/23. I also have an appt with my PCP for my letter on 3/9, my pyschologist appt on 3/17 and my dietician on 3/18. So I hope everything goes smoothly. The receptionist said that once approval happens you generally get an appt date within 1 month of your consult date. I can't wait I am so excited. A whole new life is waiting for me, in more ways than one, and I cannot wait to take it by the hand. =)
3/23/04
I had my appointment today with Dr. Elias.... and I am very happy to say that I have a surgery date scheduled.... MAY 19th 2004 is when my new life will begin. I hope all goes well with the approval, I have had my fair share of waiting time. Since Sept 2001. I cannot wait, I am so excited.
3/31/04
Found out today that they approved me yesterday. I am so excited I could just do flips. No one at work knows what kind of surgery I am having in May. Not really sure if I should tell them. I have to schedule all my pre-op testing... more time off of work.. which they will probably not be happy about. Oh well... I am trying to think of what I need to do to start preparing for all of this... if you have any suggestions, by all means e-mail them to me. =)
4/15/04
WOW a little over a month and I will be on the other side. I am happily anticipating the day. If only I felt more prepared. I feel like I am getting ready to walk outside naked and the whole world is out there. I wish I knew what I could do to prepare myself better for surgery. I have family coming to help me. Oh well I will keep you all informed. BYE Have a great and blessed day!
5/6/04
The count down really begins NOW... only 13 days away. I am getting a little nervous about things. Not about the surgery itself... but more or less how I am going to look afterward. I am scared of having a lot of hanging skin and worst of all flat pancake breast. I am not trying to sound vain or anything, but my breasts have been a big part of my life for a long time. I always have felt "appearence wise" they are one of my better features... and now the real possibility exists that they are going to go byebye =( and the other thing .. is my hair... again not trying to sound vain.. but honestly.. men love my hair.. I LOVE MY hair.. and I don't want to lose it...I started taking a nail, hair and skin vitamin, hoping to strengthen my hair a bit. AGH!! What we go through to be thin.
The other thing is, it got out at my job that I am having GBS. I only told 2 people, 1 being my boss, and the other being a lady who had GBS 6 months ago. We talked about telling other people and I thought she understood that I would rather not have a lot of people knowing. Not that I am ashamed or anything... because when I was scheduled for it before, EVERYONE I knew, knew that I was having it and I was fine with it. The only difference is.. I am relatively new here and I don't feel close enough to these people to be sharing all that with them.
Bye for now. =)
7/13/04
I don't know what happened to my update about me rescheduling my surgery. I rescheduled due to work conflicts... The lady I work with her boyfriend died of liver cancer 3 days before my surgery... so I decided to reschedule to accomodate my work. Now I am down to 9 days again.. and I am really excited. I wish it were done and over already. I feel like a huge cow. I keep having to remind myself... soon Bridget... soon. I have begun dating again since my separation from my husband.. and I am kinda holding off... a little because I know I am going to be a different person on the outside. Don't really want to start anything giving someone a false look at me. I feel like I have soooooooooooo much to do.. and I don't know where to start. Take care all. =) July 22nd... here I come. Just 6 days before my birthday!!
