blessed17
I joined Weight Watcher's 2/24/07 and weighed in at 4--. That is the heaviest I have ever been. I felt like I had tilt the scales! I felt like for the first time in my life as a fat slob. I had always called myself a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) until that day. I have been trying to get the RNY since 2004. I lost my job as soon as my approval came back. I was miserable at that point. I was so at the door of getting the surgery and could not get it now due to NO INSURANCE! I felt like a big failure to myself ,my children, family & friends. I have now been working on getting everything complete in order to have the surgery between April -June 2008. That's my goal I am working on. All test have been completed and now I am journaling for the nutritionist and fitness person. My oldest daughter is in high school this year and in the band. She totally walks ahead of me anytime we are near her friends and classmates. I know she is embarrassed of me but she has not verbally said it. In elementary and middle school she have asked her dad and other people to eat lunch with her but never asked me to come. My youngest daughter has had fights in school (elementary) defending me when other students call me fat ( I work at her school). I want to be healthy and even more sexier. Men approach me as if I really need them and they "try" to use me just for sex. I am very selective of who comes into my life and my children's lives so I normally don't give men the time of day to approach me the wrong way. I do want to love again but it is hard to choose the right mate at this point. I tell myself that it will get better after I lose the weight but I know it don't but at least I will have a better selection to pick from. 
My cousin who has lost weight (on her own) have given me her clothes that she now can't wear. Now I have clothes that I have to fit into because I am not able to wear them at this point. I am so excited about getting the surgery but it seems like it will never come!!!!!
