Sep 05, 2009

Well here I am again.  I thought I would update my blog and let you all know what has happened to me in the last year.  After getting through the knee replacement, and two rotator cuff surgeries, I once again visited the hospital.  This time is was a major surgery.  I had problems with my back for years, but for some reason, this past 6 months it got really bad.  When they finally got xrays and another MRI, I had a disc that was moved out of place, and 4 discs were touching.  I spent 2 months sitting on a chair waiting for surgery.  On Aug 6th, I had my first back surgery.  While in the hospital, I developed a severe headache, and I mean severe....and I began to run a fever.  The doc went back in 5 days after the first surgery and cleaned between two layers of fat in my back and stitched up somewhere back there that was leaking spinal fluid, hence the headache.  It's been a month since surgery now, and today I went out somewhere besides the doctors office.  I walk with a walker, my legs and feet are very much asleep and I struggle to walk.  I have to concentrate on walking, telling my brain to tell my legs what to do.  I remind myself of a 1 yr old, if you let go, I will fall on my ass.  There is improvement, but I really wanted to be 100%.  I am not, and where I end up I don't know, but I am very happy still.  I have not lost an ounce more of weight.  I am just waiting till I can exercise and I am willing to bet that the weight comes right off.  I have noticed that within the year I have certainly learned how to eat correctly, more healthier.  I have also found out I can eat what I want, but I don't.  I never ever want to be the fat girl I once was.  I want to be a sexy old lady.  I am now 60 and proud of it.  I don't think I look like what a 60 yr old looks like.  I am healthy, my problems are with my bones and joints.  Everything else is great. 

I have met some of the most wonderful people on here, and they will be life long friends.  I am blessed.  Truly blessed, and truly very happy with my life and myself.  Thanks for taking time to read this, and if I can ever be of help to anyone who is thinking about surgery, has questions about it, please send me email, I am glad to help one and all.

Hugs, Diane

Two years ago yesterday

Dec 12, 2008

I cannot believe that it has been 2 years already.  All the memories of that day are so vivid in my mind.  The first year the weight fell off me, now this past year it has slowed down alot.  I am about 50 lbs from what I want to be, not what the doctor wants me to be.  I think the worst thing that has happened is that I can't exercise and that is one of the reasons my weight loss has slowed alot.  I have had a knee replacement last Feb, and two rotator cuff surgeries from July 29th to Oct 15th.  Take alot of meds just to get through the days sometimes.  Other thing that has happened, is I now have a severe case of osteoporious, (yes I can't spell it but I got it).  Why do you ask, first I am predosped of it. second, I decided I was smarter than doctors and didn't take any vitamins.  I felt really good, so what was the big deal, until I had my second rotator cuff surgery 10 weeks after the first.  What did they find?  Severe bone loss in less than 3 months.  So I am now on Boniva, and lost of my vitamins that I should have been taken all along.  I am feeling good these days.  Just work myself to death keeping the house clean and taking care of every little thing to run a household.  It's tiring.  Rather be working, and who knows maybe in my 60th year of life I will get another job. 

Do I regret having this surgery even with all the problems I have endured?  NOPE!  I have no diabetes, no high blood pressure, just aches and pains, the brain is good, the body is crap, but I can improve the bodyMy goal for this year.  Get my sorry ass back to feeling better, even if it means surgery and to get stronger, so I can live happily another 40 or so years.

So today these are my thoughts.  I never have a problem expressing myself, no matter what happens, but I regret sometimes the way I act.  I have met some wonderful friends on this site.  You special ones know who you are, I never fail to tell you. 

I look forward to another year and more weightloss no matter how slow, and maybe, just maybe I will fall into about $35,000 so I can have all this skin gone!

I am happy, for once in my life, my depression no longer gets the best of me, because if I am depressed I go to the store, and someone will smile at me, no longer looking at me, like I am a weird fat person.  I am just a person now, like everyone else.  Their smile goes a long way!

Happy Valentines Day

Feb 14, 2008

Seems to me that I am a little overdue to post.  Not really much to report on me.  I am down over 10 pant sizes, I vary from an XL to an 2XL on alot of shirts.  That is down from a 6XL.  Dang I WAS big.  I will be so very happy when I get these last 60 lbs off and then be finished with losing.  At my ripe old age of 59 I am tired of being over weight.  I want to get this over with once and for all, and get some plastics done.  I am approaching my second knee replacement.  It's going to happen this coming Tues, the 19th and I am so glad to be getting this over.  As this is one of the most painful surgeries around, next to a shoulder surgery.  It beats the heck out of labor and delivery for all of you that have gone through that.  SO with that said, I am looking forward to some quality time in my room, relaxing watching TV and catching up on some reading.  I am hoping to go and visit my sister in law and brother in law if Doug can get some time off and run up to Modesto to see them.  She is my favorite out of the 4 sisters Dougie has.  OK, back to my weight loss.  I have been stalled for months, but everyone keeps on telling me how good I look.  Guess the inches are still creeping off so I am not going degrade myself and think bad thoughts like I have failed.  I am a WINNER at this game of WLS.  If I never lose another pound I have accomplished something amazing.  I never thought I would be that person that others would envy.  That others would want to be like.  I was always the person doing the envying.  Saying "maybe someday I will lose weight, maybe. " So hard to get it through this tough head of mine when I look in the mirror I am that person now.  

To all of those that are thinking about having surgery.  Once again I say this.  If I can go through this, so can you.  It's something that you have to commit to for the rest of your life though.  It's not a quick fix.  I have seen far too many friends fat again after going through this surgery because they thought they could still eat the way that got them to fat in the first place.  It's only a temporary fix if you think you can do that.  You WILL put on the weight again.  Life is much happier and alot more fun, with learning how to eat the correct foods and quite a challenge to keep the weight off.  If you are on the fence about having it done, I say go for it.  It is quite a wild ride.  I really didn't know what people meant on here when they said it, but holy cow, it is a wild ride.  Your emotions are out of control, you crave foods, you don't crave foods,  and it's quite a head game.  For me.  I wish I had done it so many years ago.  I know tho that when I reach my 60's next year, it's going to be one heck of a year for me.  I will be where I should have been years ago.  HEALTHIER.  No more diabetes, no more high blood pressure, just one great lifewith one of the most charming, loving, sweetest man on this earth.  My husband of 35 years.  I love him so much still, life is great.  Your life can be what you want.  I never allowed myself to be a fat person.  I was always active, and even more so now. But life is very different, and I am so happy.

I wish all of you that go through this or going to go through this to be as great as an experience for you as it has been for me.

One year later

Dec 10, 2007

Well here it is, my one year Surgivarsary~  I cannot believe that it has been one year already since I took this life changing step.  I wasn't scared about having surgery because I had been through so many various ones throughout my life, but I was afraid that I would again fail at weightloss.  I pretty much knew that I had to do something...anything, and I took one step that led to another to where I am at today.  Last year, very obese, or as the doctors called it "Morbidly obese"  Tired all the time, in pain everywhere all the time, my knees were killing me, even the one that was replaced.  I recovered so well from the knee replacement, but it was still sore, my left knee that needed to be replaced still hurts till this day, but that will be fixed in a few months.  But my entire body hurt, it was so tired of carrying all this fat.  My heart was tired, my blood sugar was uncontrollable, one reason is I just had given up.  I didn't care if I lived or died.  I figured I was a nobody and who the heck cared anyway, I surely didn't.  But then throughout my mind also was the thoughts that I wanted to live, but I wanted to live a better life, I wanted to live into my 100's as my dad's side of the family did and does.SO I took a risk that maybe this is what I had to do.  I did it, and this is what I have experienced this year.  Being sicker than a dog, with my head in the toilet ALOT, because I couldn't get my brain to remember I had surgery, I paid the price for eating poorly, then I learned and life was better.  I ate alot of beans and cheese.  Lots of em.  I met people, lots of people, I went out of my house, which was what I was embarrassed to do because I was so fat.  It was a self inflicted punishment I imposed on myself, because I love people, I love meeting people, I love talking to people, but who wanted to talk to a fat person.  I was self destructing and punishing myself.  OK back to what I have gained while losing.  I met people from here, from OH, and goodness.  Some have turned out to be good friends.  I love them all, we always have fun and they have been my lifeline.  There are times that I miss seeing everyone.  I have met people far away that I have never met, that are like my sisters.  I have met people close by that I spend lots of time with and whom I consider my good and best friends.  I can walk up the stairs in my home not having to call 911 when I get to the top of the stairs because I can BREATH.  I buy clothes and I don't leave the store in tears any longer, I leave with clothes in my hand because everything fits.  I am happy, thinner, I can breath, I have a bad back still, but it's ok.  Not everything in my body hurt any longer.  I have energy!! OMG do I have energy!  I need to bottle it and keep it when I get in my late 80's  So here it is one year later, I will be 59 in Feb and this is something I can say very safely, and I KNOW it will happen.  When I turn 60 I won't be fat!!!!!!!!  I love you all and thanks for taking the time to read this long blog, which was interupted by 3 phone calls  If you are thinking of doing surgery just do it, I don't regret one minute.


Another Update

Aug 29, 2007

Well here I am again, so humbled by being chosen as Someone you should know this week by Monica, my adopted niece.  I cannot believe that I was chosen, I am just a person who loves people and tries to get along with everyone.  I think it's my Italian heritage that gives me my short temper and yes I am brutally honest sometimes...maybe too much so.  Also as of this morning, I am down 128 lbs.  Ok so figure it out, I am down to 258.  So that makes me starting at 386, and at one point in November I was 392.  I am shocked, surprised and elated that I have lost this much weight.  Now that my life is into a natural routine, I don't have any hunger pains to speak of, and eating is just something that I HAVE to do, not something that I look forward to.  When I do eat, it's not alot of food, there isn't just much room.  I am still eating my popcicles, sugar free of course and once in a while I will have a sugar free chocolate pudding, but I prefer the cold stuff.  I still find it hard to get in all my liquids, but I do my very best everyday.  I also drink water in the middle of the night, and I always forget to count that.  I am so happy where I am today.  I feel much better, of course the knee still hurts, but like the doctor said, it's like running on a flat tire.  I am married to a great guy who is always so proud of me.  Today our exchange student that we had here 20 years ago has just left.  He has been back numerous times in the last 20 years, but this is the first time he has seen me since he left today, I said take a good look, this will be the last time you see me life this.  I am hoping that when he returns I will be at goal.  But I never know, he flies back and forth from Finland, like it is across the states and not halfway around the world.  We are so blessed to have him in our lives.  I want to thank all my friends on here who have been so supportive and acutally have become good friends.  Life was pretty lonely before, now I need to keep a calender because I am so busy.  I love you all.  All of you that are thinking about WLS, just do it!  What the hell are you waiting for?  Times a wasting.

A post I did on 1/28/07 6 weeks after surgery

Jul 02, 2007

I need to share some WOW moments for me, most are so stupid, but hey, they are MY wow moments.

started this WL journey at 386 lbs. I am not down to 341 in less than 2 months. YES I am happy, but I am happier for some things that I was unable to do, and I no longer have to call for my hubbie to do some, just some of these things for me!

1. I can now take off my bra and put it on, by unhooking it, not stretching it over my head.
2. Able to wash all nooks and crannies without lifting anything.
3. I can see my toe
4. I can reach the floor with my hands and not be out of breath.
5. I can walk faster
6. I can climb a set of stairs even with my bad knees without needing CPR when I get to the top
7. I can tie my own shoes.
8. My knees like me better, even the one that needs replacing
9. I quit snoring and keeping my snoring husband awake, tho I think he deserved a few nights of not sleeping.
10. I no longer take a handful of med in the morning, diabetes is gone and high BP is gone
11. Actually doing grocery shopping and not having to get in one of those handicap carts. (I was always so embarrassed)

It has been 3 years, wait, April will be 4 since I became disabled from my job, and I can finally say, I feel human again. Of course I am now staying retired so I can go to the gym.

I know there are more but right off hand that is all I can think of. So all of you out there that think there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is, and it's only a few short months away. It's the little things that make me feel good. I can't wait till tomorrow today, it's a whole new life and I am not a part of the living, not hiding in my house.

I hope that my little words help some of you make a decision or feel good about yourselves. I know I do...and it's with the help of people who are reading this, and those whom I have met that have made me who I am again!

June 16th and Beyond

Jun 25, 2007

Well June 16th was the date.  I hit 100 lbs lost.  Then I stalled for a few days and now I am down 3 more lbs, making it 103 total.  OMG!!!!  Me, the fattest person in a room, the fattest person in the store, the person who hated to leave the house because of embarassment.  I am different.  I have spent last Thurs, Fri, Sat, and yesterday receiving compliment after compliment from people in the Kingsmen Drum and Bugle Corp and from Co-workers at my retirement party.  Most had not seen me in 6 months, since before surgery and some as much as 4 years.  I could not handle all the comments and compliments.  I don't know how to compute that in my head.  I have never had compliments like that ever in my entire life.  I best never forget how wonderful a weekend I have had.  When I need more modivation, I need to come right here and read what I am writing.  My heart feels like it is going to burst out of my chest.  I think I am proud of myself for once in my life.  What a ride!!!!

A few days over 6 month

Jun 14, 2007

Holy cow, today I weighed myself this morning.  I didn't eat much yesterday because I really wasn't feeling so hot, so guess what.....I am down 99 lbs.  I am so amazed how wonderful I feel, and how happy I am.  I have on a size 2 xl shirt.  I am sure that it's a mistake in the sizing, but it's a little snugger than the other shirts I usually wear that everyone yells at me are too big, so I feel uncomfortable, but I have to realize that there are just not that MANY rolls any longer.  Dang, as soon as I get the house finished, I am going to have one HUGE HUGE party, for all my friends and supporters.  I am almost 1/2 to my goal weight, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be a person that would say that I had lost this much weight.  It's an amazing feeling that I cannot describe.  It's working the gift I was given when I choose this surgery.  Without discipline, there is no way I could say this.  So all you people out there, don't cheat yourself out of life, work with the tool, and do what the doctor says, and you too can be as happy as I am today.

Announcement TIME!!!!

May 18, 2007

Ok, here comes something big....90 lbs...holy cow.  Gone gone gone, 90 fricking pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Heck how great is this????


A BIG Achievement for me

May 10, 2007

I posted this on the board, but I think it is worth saving here too.  Tomorrow is 5 months and what an achievement I have accomplished.

I will never forget the day that I was at the doctors with Dougie and I got on the scale there and it said 392 lbs. I was SO depressed. I wanted to just give up and just keep on eating. I mean I was so close to 400 what the hell at that point. Then something rose up inside of me and said to fight. That was my turning point. I put aside that I had lost a very good friend to WLS, and decided that if I didn't do something that I would end up the same way my friend did.

Here I am today, feeling SO much better, no diabetes, no high blood pressure, and HAPPY. Not happy enough to get off my Prozac, but I am happy. I cook, I clean, I do my own grocery shopping, my gosh, there is life, and it's my life. I cannot believe this is me. I also thought I was doomed to be fat forever like all of my moms sisters. I have longivity in my family, with my dad's family living to over 100, and I too want the same. To be older and live longer, and today, with the Lords help, I can make it.


About Me
Highland, CA
Surgery Date
Nov 27, 2006
Member Since

Friends 135

Latest Blog 21
Two years ago yesterday
Happy Valentines Day
One year later
Another Update
A post I did on 1/28/07 6 weeks after surgery
June 16th and Beyond
A few days over 6 month
Announcement TIME!!!!
A BIG Achievement for me