REBECCA L.

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Well it has been 8 months and I'm 146 pounds lighter. I'm only a few BMI points away from being just overweight which is great. This last month was a good one, hope next month is just as good too, the previous two months kinda stunk weight loss wise. I'm still hopeful to be at or very near goal by my birthday in October and in Onederland by my 1 year surgiversary, 34 pounds in 3 months might happen if I can kick up the workouts and keep this momentum up. Heck I'm just excited to have lost anything without gaining anything back and with very little stalling. I feel quite blessed for sure. 

June 26, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 26, 2010       1 Month         341#  down -39#
Aug  26, 2010       2 Month        317#  down -24#
Sept 26, 2010       3 Month        292# down -26#
Oct. 26, 2010         4 Month       275# down -17#
Nov. 26, 2010        5 Month        258# down -17# BMI 36 
Dec. 26,2010         6 Month        251# down -07# 
Jan. 26, 2011         7 Month        244# down -07# BMI 34 Loss: 73 inches over all
Feb. 26,2011          8 Month        234# down -18# BMI 32 

This is the month everything changed, and not for the better! This was a stalled month for me and month 7 is even worse. Ugh! I upped my gym visits and have gone back to my basic plan - still stalled! I did lose two pant sizes since the stall began, so it is not all doom and gloom. I am now wearing size 18/20 pants and Large to XL shirts, pretty good since I started out wearing 30/32 pants and 4X/5X tops. Christmas with the family was a food challenge, I found myself snacking mindlessly and endlessly! Ugh simple carbs go down way too easy! I am back on track now, the two weeks of less than perfect eating are behind me and the rest of my life is before me. lol! It all sounds so dramatic... Oh well the last two months have also been full of a lot of hormonal imbalances and emotional ups and downs, some really crazy stuff! I think the hormones are leveling off better now, though I can still get tearful, angry, or agitated for no apparent reason. What a wierd ride this massive weight loss can be! Lol. On an up note I made $2,000.00 on eBay selling my old big clothes over Christmas. I still have two bags left to list, I'm down to selling the 22/24 size clothes I bought from yard sales and barely wore! When I get to goal I will be so used to rotating clothes I will be a shopoholic! Very crazy life indeed! On another note I got my 6 mo. labs back and everything was good, my D was normal which is much better than earlier. I also think my hairloss has slowed to near normal which is another very good thing! For a time I thought about a wig... It has made picture taking not as fun, I do plan to take some tomorrow, so hopefully it will be a good hair day and maybe we will have some sun too...

  June 26, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 26, 2010       1 Month          341#  down -39#
Aug  26, 2010       2 Month         317#  down -24#
Sept 26, 2010       3 Month         292# down -26#
Oct. 26, 2010         4 Month         275# down -17#
Nov. 26, 2010        5 Month         258# down -17# BMI 36 
Dec. 26,2010         6 Month         251# down -07# 
Jan. 26, 2010         7 Month        244# down -07# BMI 34  Total Loss: 136# Loss: 73 inches over all

Well another month has flown by and another 17 pounds gone forever giving me 122 pound loss so far. Another milestone was getting over half way to goal this month! I still question what my goal should be, but for now I am leaving it at a thin 155 pounds. My clothing sizes continue to drop, I can now comfortably wear a 1X and even many XLs! This was the first Thanksgiving I have had where I actually lost weight and felt absolutely great! I am getting used to my sleeve and it's odd quirks. I can definitely eat more on days when my hormones are busy trying to ruin my life, so on those days its all about dense protein and very low carb... My sleeve holds a bit more food these days which is good, still only about 3 ounces which makes me very happy. I am very much following my plan and exercising as much as possible. I have also started renovating my home, which is something I would not have dreamt of doing when I weighed 400 pounds! Over all life is very good. I have so much energy and enthusiasm now that I feel I have gotten my life back. I never want to go back to being so heavy and sluggish again. Maintenance is very much on my mind these days as I work to keep on track and lose 100% of my excess weight. I know how easy it is to return to old habits and ways, so I chose daily to keep on track and do what I can to succeed. Failure is not an option, this weight issue is life and death and I know I must always choose life and living life to the fullest. 

 June 26, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 26, 2010       1 Month          341#  down -39#
Aug  26, 2010       2 Month         317#  down -24#
Sept 26, 2010       3 Month         292# down -26#
Oct. 26, 2010        4 Month         275# down -17#
Nov. 26, 2010        5 Month         258# down -17# BMI 36 

 Today is my 4 month surgiversary. I can't believe it has been 4 months! I am so happy with my sleeve. I have lost 105 pounds and my BMI went from 55 to 39. I have lost inches and clothing sizes have gone from 30/32 5X to 18/20 1X I even fit an XL top the other day. I am so very happy and wow I have energy now! I am also no longer stiff and sore, no more knee pain and I think my asthma is better too! Whoop Whoop! I am also casually dating a very nice man, which is awesome... Life is very good! 

This 4th month has been really odd. For the first two weeks or so I had very slow losses. I was only eating around 400 to 500 calories and that was only because I forced myself to eat. That changed last week as I have gotten closer to my time of the month, suddenly I was very snacky and got my calories up to 1000 per day. As soon as my calories went up, my weight went down... Weird, but true. Now I seem to be back to normal, back to eating 700 to 800 calories per day and no snacking. My time of the month hasn't started yet, so who knows I may get snacky again or not... I always lost weight during my monthly and used to gain right before, so we will see what happens as time goes on. 

June 26, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 26, 2010       1 Month          341#  down -39#
Aug  26, 2010       2 Month         317#  down -24#
Sept 26, 2010       3 Month         292# down -26#
Oct. 26, 2010        4 Month         275# down -17#

 My goal was to lose 100 pounds by my Birthday, I missed that by 6 days. Who cares I have lost 100 pounds in less than 4 months! ha Ha HA! I am very pleased with my sleeve, it has become my friend. This month has been a little weird with my sleeve, I have been struggling to get enough protein in all month. I just don't want to eat and when I do force myself to eat the amounts are smaller than they were?!? I have been averaging about 500 calories for two weeks now which is not where I want it to be, so I am going to add a second protein drink in to at least reach close to my 80 gram protein goal. I also know the week before that time of the month I should be able to eat more. Very odd this sleeve life.

I did meet one of my end of the year goals. I went on an actual date with a man that was actually attracted to me yesterday. I had fun, and I enjoyed the fact that he was way more nervous than I was. I enjoyed making him nervous too... I have never really dated before and so I am enjoying everything that I missed all of these years. I am so looking forward to seeing what the future brings. I have a lot to learn, but enjoyed the ride so far. I even downloaded an iphone dating app, the app will fake call you at a specific time or whenever you start it. I now have the get out of lousy date free card! Lol! Fortunately I didn't need that yesterday, as I had a good time with my date. I had forgotten how much fun it is to talk to a man and hold his complete attention. So here is to the first of many dates, hopefully with a variety of fun and great guys... 

I just had my 3 month surgiversary and so time to add a blog entry. Writing this I have mixed emotions and a bit of a hormone imbalance, lol. I am happy for my successes, I have lost 88 pounds in the 3 months since surgery. The only problem and for me there is always a problem added in, I need to just be happy! Well the problem is that I still need to lose soooo much more weight to get to goal. My stats so far show very consistent good weight loss, I don't want that to change. I just keep remembering the stats for people with my starting BMI and it scares me to death. I guess I am just stressing myself for no good reason. I just see too many "lightweights" 3 months out and pretty much at goal and I get discouraged with how far I have to travel to see my goals met. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this journey so far, and that is where I know I should focus. So I need to ignore the loose skin, hair loss and mood swings and just keep on going. LOL! I do know I can eat a little more now and that scared me. However that little more is like an ounce more than I could before, so I can eat 2-3 ounces of dense protein instead of 1-2 ounces. It just means I need to measure everything more carefully, keep up my food logs, and avoid snacking at all cost! I keep thinking I need a better eating schedule, I am too much of a night owl having dinner way too late... Ugh! That has been a problem with me for 30 years! Lol! Good luck changing that one! Lol! Oh well... And then there is my self esteem issues, I am actually quite terrified to start dating again, but too lonely not to try again. I still suffer from negative self talk... the term butt-ugly comes to mind, ugh! How to retrain my critical self loathing mind!?! Well that is a work in progress for sure, taking pictures of myself every month has helped some and having a few positive friends helps too... 

In other news... I am really working on my fitness routines. I bought a Kettlebell at a yard sale last week and I have to say I already feel some results, it has an exercise that really targets some of those hard to work areas like the sides of the chest or as the ladies would say that pesky bra strap fat and the love handles. I am hopeful to see some good results in the next few months. I have also added a new pilates move, giving me a whopping 3 moves, lol! I also added pushups to my daily exercise agenda, I can do 20 girl's style, but only 5 or so regular style, so a work in progress. I still want an elliptical machine at home to replace my stationery bike too, maybe for my Birthday in October???.... So there you have it, my fears, hopes and dreams all conveniently blogged out... Lol! 
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June 26, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 26, 2010       1 Month          341#  down -39#
Aug  26, 2010       2 Month         317#  down -24#
Sept 26, 2010       3 Month         292# down -26#
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 Well as of Saturday I met my first published goal of weighing less than 300 pounds. I am a week away from my 3 month surgiversary and have lost 80 pounds since surgery, added to my pre-surgery losses, I have lost 100 pounds total. How great is that! I have been getting compliments from a few people, though only a couple have asked if I have lost weight, I seem to be hiding my loss in clothes that are too big... Lol. I think the biggest loss change I notice is in my waist size, it has shrunk and my stomach is getting smaller. My hips and behind seem the most resistant to change, makes shopping for pants hard, when they fit the hips they are ultra loose in the waist. I am excited to move down belt notches without being able to see the wear marks on the last notch I used. Maybe I will have a lovely hourglass shape when all is said and done... I am still amazed at my lack of hunger and no cravings, I hope it continues for a long time, forever would be great! For once in my life I don't snack on anything, very different in a very good way, I do have to get better at eating my 3 meals a day, some days I only eat breakfast and lunch, not good. I seem to have less hunger now than a few weeks ago, so maybe the extra Ghrelin is gone and the Leptin is finally able to work properly.  

On another note, I started doing Pilates this week... It is really hard! I have sore muscles where I didn't think I would have any muscles... The program I use doesn't move you to the next exercise until you master the previous ones and let me tell you it will be some time before I move on to the next one... There is this one where you curl all the way forward from laying flat, well I think I need a rope and pulley system to accomplish that right now! Whew, getting tired just thinking of that exercise... Lol! I'm hoping to strengthen my core, improve my balance and flexibility, and get stronger ab muscles. Every little bit gets me further along and helps me push toward my ultimate goals and success...

 I am willing to do whatever it takes to get to my goal of a healthy weight and lifestyle, once I am there the hard work will really begin and I pray that my lifetime maintenance will be built on the strong foundation I am creating now during this first year of compliance to the plan I have adopted.

                           

I am willing to give up anything
I am willing to change everything
My life is worth living
I am worth fighting for

                           

 Well today I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride! I started the day sleeping in, sleeping way in! I can't believe how much I slept today, threw my whole eating and medication schedule way off. I guess my body needed the rest. When I finally got moving I worked on the laundry, washing a few of my garage sale finds from Saturday. Well one of the blouses got me all teary eyed, it is a cute size 14 top, I am currently still wearing my 26/28 tops and a few 22/24 tops. I got teary eyed worrying that I wouldn't fit into that size 14 ever, last time I was size 14 was in 1992! My friend Mr. Scale turned on me today too and Aunt Floo has become a real hag! So all emotional me decided to look back over my two month weight loss and to begin a monthly tally on my blog here to keep my spirits up and to cast aside my fear of failure.  I have also revisited my surgery scriptures and let God tell me what was what.  I am not going to be fat, and that is that! Well that started me crying again, this time tears of thankfulness for my loss so far. My poor dog thinks I'm crazy with all of the tears, he keeps putting his paw on me and following me around... 
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June 25, 2010 Day of Surgery 380#  BMI 54.5
July 25, 2010       1 Month         341#  down -39#
August 25, 2010   2 Month         317#  down -24#
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Isaiah 41:10-13:

10   So do not fear, for I am with you;

       do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

       I will strengthen you and help you;

       I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

11"All who rage against you

       will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

       those who oppose you

       will be as nothing and perish.

 12 Though you search for your enemies,

       you will not find them.

       Those who wage war against you

       will be as nothing at all.

 13 For I am the LORD, your God,

       who takes hold of your right hand

       and says to you, Do not fear;

       I will help you. 

  Day of surgery I weighed 380 pounds with a BMI of 54.5, two months later I have a BMI of 45.5. I have dieted my whole life, once I lost over 165 pounds totally on my own.  I can tell you the difference between this weight loss and my last weight loss, that was a diet, this is a complete lifestyle change. 
I plan to lose every bit of my excess weight and to keep it off. My previous diet experiences had no exit strategy, no feasible maintenance plan and no way to continue indefinitely. My sleeve however has a built in maintenance plan - keep doing what I am doing now, stick to the program, work the sleeve, and enjoy a lifetime of better health. Can I fail, sure. Will I fail, only if I choose to. This is just a tool, it is up to me how I use that tool. 
 I have no intention of getting a DS because of two words - Atomic Poop 
Every time I think of failing with the sleeve and needing something more I just have to think of the stink and I literally run to the gym for a hardy workout. I am dead to my old life, my old overeating, my life is worth too much to trade it in for a moment on the lips and forever on the hips...