Bob H.
50 & Shit Just Got Real...
Jul 12, 2015
This is copy of my post at http://www.obesityhurts.com, a blog I've had since 2011 when I began my journey...
In April 2011 I began a journey that I knew would change my life for ever – I accepted that regardless of what anybody thought, obesity is not always a choice. there are so many underlying factors that can cause a person to be overweight, from medical, to emotional that the old term “you cannot judge a book by it’s cover” really does come to light. Let’s face it, I like most overweight people fall into one of those categories and I’ve spent the first 50 years of my life not just denying it but also ignoring it.
If you were a follower of my blog in 2011 / 2012 (http://www.obesityhurts.com) you would know that I teamed up with the Ottawa Hospital Weight Management clinic and began a journey that has been exciting, depressing and well just been. During my initial meetings with the great doctors and nurses at the WMI, I had several informational meetings and discussions with them. To my wife’s disappointment at the time, I chose to take the low road and rather than having stomach surgery, I went with the OptiFast Program. Now don’t get me wrong, I started at 333 pounds and when the program was over, I was at 195 pounds and felt not just good but amazing – I was proud of myself and appreciative all the support from my family and friends that helped me get there. But there was a problem – and for some of us it becomes a huge problem…
This is perhaps one of the biggest “I wish I knew” items that anybody can share with you and they seldom do… When you lose a lot of weight, either fast as in my case (6 months) or over years in most cases, it takes months for your mind to see the results. Think about that for a minute – It takes MONTHS for your mind to see the results. It’s true, I know it now and believe it or not, it works in both directions (losing or gaining weight). Here is an example. At home we don’t have full length mirrors so I seldom look in them however at our summer digs in the bedroom we have mirrored sliding doors. Every weekend during my weight loss journey in 2011, we would go to the cottage and although people were telling me how great I looked – I never saw it. When I looked in the mirror the only thing I saw was the old me… When I look at the pictures from 2011 / 2012 NOW I can see how great I looked but then – I couldn’t and to be honest it was depressing – very depressing.
Now for those of you who read the blog but are not that close to me here’s a 2015 update – not proud of it but it’s reality. Of the weight I lost in 2011, I’ve gained back all but 43 pounds of it. Does that make me a failure? Not really, I lost 133 pounds and am still down 43 however it makes me realize that there is more to this journey than licking your finger, sticking it up in the air and hoping that the wind will take you in the right direction – it also reminds me that what I started in 2011 is a journey – a real life adventure that your either committed to or not or in some cases (mine included) you are half committed…
Before we go on, I want to finish what I started earlier – your mind is a funny thing… As I mentioned, it takes time for you to see the weight loss and that time can play havoc on your emotions but, when you start the gain weight, the same is true – I would look in the mirror and not see that weight was coming on. My wonderful wife would (and she is good at pointing it out) but I didn’t see it until it was too late…
Now we fast forward to 2015. The great thing about the Ottawa Civic Hospital Weight Management Clinic is that once you have been referred there, you are always a customer. In January I set up an appointment with Dr. Dent and Kim tagged along with me – my goal was to revisit my options for the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery. I am the first to admit that I felt like a failure going back their and I was not very proud of myself at all. Dr. Dent was amazing – there was no condensation, no lecture, no nothing, he simply said to me “Robert, I know you and that you always have a plan, so what are we doing?” He didn’t even flinch when I told him I wanted to revisit the surgery and in fact he said “Why wouldn’t you want to do that – we know that the problem is in your genes, not a result of your lifestyle or choices” – Man I can tell you, that one single visit made me feel like I was a winner again and solidified my choice to have the surgery.
After several visits and orientation meetings and with the blessing of Dr. Dent and the Surgeon, July 7th, 2015 became the day that shit finally got real for me as I have been able to confirm the surgery date. Now just for the record, I have not had a second thought – the surgery is taking place in mid-August, but I’m going to be honest when I tell you I am nervous as hell. After the surgery, my life, and my wife’s life is going to change – forever… Google the surgery if your interested in the gory details, but the reality is, my stomach will be the size of an egg – for the rest of my life, it’s non-reversible, so there’s no changing your mind, no buyers remorse no nothing – it’s both feet in and no turning back!
I hope to be able to use this blog to provide friends, family and followers updates on my progress both before and after the surgery so if you are interested, don’t be afraid to shoot me an email asking for an update – I tend to let things slide on the posting side!
