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Six year surgery anniversary last week. Two months after my surgery the company I worked for 22 years let me go .  I collected severance, then unemployment and I have now been at the same company five years which I still love.  Just finished a huge software upgrade project a couple months ago and updated my skills on LinkedIn.  I have no desire to change companies but it is nice to know my skills are very much in demand based on the number of recruiters that reach out to me each week.  Including my old company, twice, too bad so sad for them but it amuses me to repeatedly decline with how much more I like where I am at now.

Bad New First 

The weight has slowly crept back to close to surgery level - June 15th 2015 I weighed 308.

 

I am still pretty happy with life even at this weight, but I know it is not healthy so recently I have been working on getting my health under control.

 I have no one to blame but my self, still love milk chocolate a bit too much, cider a bit too much, and at times Lucky Charms.  Ice Cream, the good stuff.  I can pretty much eat anything now and no longer have any nausea issues and at time when I felt tired a pound of chocolate did the trick a few dozen or more time and it all adds up.  The hunger is not back, but the pleasure in eating returned.

I had some ups and downs with my vitamin results and other blood work.  My fasting glucose at 110 was higher than the doctor liked to see and twice in the past five years I have done mega doses of vitamin D to bring me back in range.  Low vitamin D lethargic, dry mouth, dry eyes, need to pay attention to my body signals but those small symptoms creep up.  

Either the vitamin deficiency or acid in my mouth during the early months decalcified my teeth near the gum and I needed about a half dozen gum line fillings.  So make sure you are taking your vitamins and using an enamel strengthening toothpaste. My doctor seems to like tweeking my thyroid meds a bit too much for my taste.  I am happiest on the low side of the normal range and he insists on the middle, so I need to look for a new primary.

Good New Now

I reached 288.6 today.   11 weeks, 20 pounds, not too shabby.  For the first two months I did not exercise and I was on vacation a few times.

6/15 308  

6/21  304 down 4

6/28 301 down 3

7/5  297 down 4

7/12 298 UP 1

7/19 298 same

7/26 vacation no tracking 7/22 to 8/4

8/4 294 DOWN 4

8/9 vacation no tracking 8/7 to 8/13

8/16 295 up 1

8/23 291 down 3

8/30 288.6 down 3

June 24, I bought the Microsoft Fitband and started tracking my steps.  I have managed to double my just daily movement from 2000 to 4000 steps a day and completed the Chase Morgan Corporate Challenge, a 6k on Thursday June 25th.  Walking of course, a bit under a 3 mph pace but I finished the 3 1/2 mile course.

8/17 I was feeling pretty down about being stalled.  I also drank four ciders the night before which probably did not help but hey my daughter turned 22!  I added an full hour of cardio and many times a week as I can, usually 4 times burning 600 to 700 calories a session on recumbent bike and/or elliptical.   I can attribute 2 pounds of loss in the past two weeks directly to that activity.  My band says so.

Saturday I took my first stab at Tabata style intervals but only 82% -88% percent of max not 100% as the style calls for.  Call me crazy but I like the 'personal trainer' music tracks that mess with with BPMs of songs and tell me what to do when.

I am primarily use the LiveStrong app now to track calories (1400 a day and falling) and exercise and really focusing on clean eating, no white baked goods, pasta or sugars.

I read and enjoyed Chris Powell's two books on carb cycling and follow them loosely.  Breakfast is a must with protein and carbs.   The program calls for five meals a day which feels like a lot but it is working well.   My 53 calories of real milk chocolate is non-negotiable.   It is in my friends drawer though not mine and he is very good about self control.  Also non-negotiable is real 1/2 and 1/2 in my coffee, just a teaspoon per cup and I track it.

I enjoy early morning carbs in the form of organic granola or 12 grain bread with Greek yogurt.

Lunch is lots of chicken breast and greens. The morning and afternoon snack is either hummus and pepper, an egg, or some chick breast.

 I am a Spiralizer now at dinner time, no grainy pasta, it is replaced with ribbon zucchini instead.  It is a great replacement to carby pasta.

All my dairy has been replaced with no sugar added nut milks, almond, cashew, coconut which is surprisingly not missed at all.

I had my daughter do some pictures today at this months weight.  Need to edit them before uploading.

Something has clicked and I really feel good about this go round.  This is for me and no one else, I find reading by own blogging motivational.  Yeah I am a idiot for being disappointed about the weeks I did not lose, need to stay the course and change what I can.  The extra cardio has really helped both in the way I feel and the weight loss.

Weight loss this month zero,actually I gained a couple pounds and I am up two.  My friends on facebook can attest I have been baking things that are on the sweet indulgence side for my husband and having some myself, banana split cake, pistachio delight cake, rhubarb pie, no bake cocoa cookies.  I bought a case of Chobani yesterday and this morning was Special K, almond milk and a yogurt for breakfast with  hopes of eating right again for the next dozen days.

Exercise just weekly dance class and one kettle ball session.   Sad to say I have not run since 4/28 and should do that. 

I am currently in holding pattern on a new job, after six months off from work I am signed with a contract to hire position and can start as soon as my drug test and background check return as clean.  I expect to hear something the next couple of days.  I am looking forward to a full paycheck again, the job is right up my alley too.

Now on shopping...why is it that one day I can go into a store and find a dozen things I like and a month later the same store yield zilch? I still have items in 24 that fit fine and I bought my first 14W in a suit jacket but the slacks are too tight, but same day I also bought a 16 and 18 that fit exactly the same as the 14W jacket.  SYMS on a redline sale, $600 worth of clothes for under $100.  I used to dread shopping there at 26W but the selection is much better now for the size range I currently wear and really nice stuff.

A month ago I bought a pair of size 18 black dress slacks on clearance for $11 that fit PERFECT.   Went back to the same store a week ago, same brand, same size and the brown ones looked bad.  Seven other pair went into the dressing room pile too.  The up side is that a year ago changing pants eight times would have been so exhausting that I would have sat in the room between changes and drowned my sorrows in a 48oz iced mocha latte with whipped on the way home.   I still had an iced coffee but it was a small with half and half, Splenda and no whipped.

Bras, the Victoria Secret's measuring staff in Buffalo NY STINKS.  I was there Sunday at 2pm.   She barely measured me and told me 38DD and  I said that had to be wrong she just told me to try the 38DD and if that did not work go up or down and see what fit better instead of double checking?  I know I can not fill out DD and was expecting 40 42 or 44.  If it had not been for a lost person(found later wander outside store) I would have spoke with a manager.  Went to Marshalls and got a nice 42 D.

I also ordered four suits on Roaman's, nice thing about being on the low side of plus is a healthy stock of clearance items in 14 to 20.

Dance recital is in a week

I turned 44 last week and weigh less than I have my entire adult life.  Even though there are other types of surgeries that boast better success I would not change the type I had, I am very happy with it even though things have slowed significantly.

Well, 245 to 238 a mild 7 pounds but better than a kick in the gut and probably thanks to being sick over two weeks and I have rebounded 2 this morning with that time of month coming very soon so I don't count the gain.   I am not as obsessive about weighing as I used to be.  Other than my weekly check I usually weigh with clothes on now rather than disrobing for an accurate number.  I am also not as obsessed with visiting this site and I used to be, which is good and bad at the same time.

I used the gift card mom gave me for Christmas to buy a kettle-ball, a clearance running outfit and a new bra.  I slacked a lot on running but got back into it with a four mile stint yesterday, my redeeming grace for exercise is a weekly hip-hop class I have not missed a single week of.  After my run I stopped to buy a kettle-ball bought myself a Rock-star iced latte with 8 grams of protein, a chocolate bar of which I had 1 square of 12  for about 300 calories total. 

This is an excellent blog by a Kettle-ball instructor, I am guilty of both diet denial and calorie amnesia, funny how it really hit home, I was looking for exercise advise and got a dietary kick in the butt on not counting my calories and little cheats here and there.  http://www.alysiagadson.com/kettleblog/Entries/2009/12/4_Diet_Denial_and_Calorie_Amnesia.html

Confession -  I have hit the chip and peanut M&M's and coffee ice cream as more than a rare treat, and made no bake cocoa cookies three times.  I eat fried foods and put more butter in my dishes than is really needed and I am not getting in enough fruit and vegetables.  Probably about  a dozen servings of each which is easily several pounds.

I have not been taking my vitamins (but I did just now) like I should but I have done well with probiotics and have to say they have done wonders for my regularity no more constipation(TMI lol?).

The fear of nine month pictures shall have me working extra hard to stick to the program.

Two pounds gone this month, but effortless. I was not trying or tracking food, just doing what felt natural. 

The size 18 suit jacket I bought a month ago fits and buttons and I bought size 18 slacks to go with it. Jeans that were snug are now pretty lose and I know only two pounds is not enough to make  slacks and a jacket fit so there is still some redistribution going on.

 I have run 5k pretty consistantly at least once a week sometimes two to three times, today it was raining and only a mile and a half.

I had a wave of nausea after some chewable vitamins one day but I did not get sick, went to the movie theater and enjoyed some popcorn and a few sips of soda.  Enjoyed Hummus and Feta on whole grain bread pretty regularly.  Bread seems to no longer bother me at all and neither does a few sips of fountain soda. 

I have done well keeping Lucky Charms out of my life, I did enjoy some Cocoa Krispies last night simply because they were there and I felt like something sweet.  I really want to break this 240 mark, it is where I spent most of my life post high school pre-pregnancy.

I can't really complain about slow loss since I am not tracking my food or exercising daily.  All in all I am pretty happy with the VSG.  Hopefully I can become employed again soon. Severance pay is running out and it is time to consider a no-so-good job so long as it is work.

Four, One, One, Zero.  Another six pound month.  Slower than I would like but I will take it.

Never did pictures for month five, need to get after my daughter to do the six month ones.  The jeans I squeezed into for the month three photo are now getting loose after I wear them and almost able to be pulled over the hip without being undone.

Husband's cousin passed away suddenly from complications of a heart surgery a month ago and the local memorial service was Saturday.  I bought a size 18 blazer on clearance, the 22 slacks were on the last notch of the belt and still loose and the legs were baggy.  It would not button but it will soon and could not bring myself to waste money on a correct fit.   I couple people I had not seen in a while noticed and said I looked great and they were proud of me.

Hairdresser Friday afternoon,  I love her so I must go every two months.  The reaction from an old friend that had not seen me in a year was priceless, she said "OMG OMG You look like a different person, if she did not use your name I would not have recognized you."  She is shorter but a lightweight that is hoping to have RNY around June.

Went to Subway with my daughter for dinner Friday night, effortless maneuvering in the booth, fitting forward, fitting sideways.  She ate and I played with my new Sony over the ear ear-buds.

Went to church and had a half dozen people who saw me 12 pounds ago and said nothing tell me I looked fabulous.  Pastors wife, pastor, mother of girls I grew up with and a few others.  The look of shock on their faces when I said 120 lost was priceless. 

This was my first month with consistent exercise, although there was a lower than desired loss my fitness level has increased and I think my tummy is down and my waist is tighter.  Just finished week eight of couch to 5k and I can run 2.2 miles without stopping in about 30 minutes, eight weeks ago maintaining a jog for one minute was rough.

Went to the gym I was working out at preop and ran my couch to 5k W8D3 on the treadmill.   I had my measurements done at 347, my high was 365 and at surgery I was 321 the morning of my surgery.  They redid the measurements overall quite a few inches and I don't think she pulled as tight as the owner did.  They said my lean body mass was 117 which is just crazy talk, I know it has to be higher, there is absolutely no way on earth that 140 would be a reasonable weight for this body.

	1/8/2009	2/22/2010	Loss
Bust	55	46.5	(8.5)
Waist	55	43	(12.0)
Abdomen	66	51	(15.0)
Hip	62	56	(6.0)
Thigh	32.5	27	(5.5)
Arm	14.5	13.5	(1.0)
Weight	347	247	(100.0)

The last thing I can think to say is my complexion has made amazing strides.  Two years ago with my diabetes, anemia and thyroid I was ghostly or jaundice looking at times.  Since upping the exercise I have a nice red well circulated glow to my face.  The improved circulation has decreased the appearance of some of the wrinkles and given me an overall more even tone.

I was hoping to be closer to 200 than 250 by now, but the 240s are not so bad.  I will take it.

Seven weeks of running and feeling great! 

Another week with only a one pound loss but I don't care because the feeling of running almost two miles at a time makes me feel incredibly accomplished at the end of each session and that one pound met another goal.  Here is the chart...

Range	Meaning
less than 18.5	Underweight
18.5 - 24.9	Normal
25.0 - 29.9	Overweight
30.0 - 39.9	Obese
40.0 - 50	Extremely Obese
over 50	Super Obese

Good thing the surgery is already done with... 
 

I started my journey near and possibly over 60 bmi which is Super Super Obese as I was dieting three weeks before I got a scale.  With a BMI of 39.9 I am only obese instead of the required extremely obese of 40.0  With no comorbidities I no longer meet the requirements for my insurance company to cover my surgery.

I would need two co-morbidities to qualify which thanks to weight loss I no longer have.

Overweight here I come...

Sleeves rock.

That is what my surgeons assistant said enthusiastically- "You are doing everything right" 

Big hug from my surgeon and seeing him again in four months.

Good weight loss
Good blood work with all in the high range of normal, EVEN my iron
Good exercise
Good eating habits and choices

On the way home I stopped at a trail and ran two miles and walked a mile and a half for Couch to 5k week 6 day 3.  Walked a half mile chatting with a really nice guy and had another give me a big grin and nod as we passed.  I have just met some extremely friendly people running.

I feel so energized after a run, finally getting into the exercise groove again and loving it.  I had a really good day.

Now I am going to bed early to try and get a good sleep, without a bad snack.

Only six pounds this month, 259 to 253.  Half my previous low loss of 11 per month but better than gaining.  I don't think I have had any issues at all this month, no nausea, no vomiting, no heavy feeling in the stomach. 

I have been testing the waters and all seems good now, no issues with any foods which is both good and bad.  I can now have a small slice of crusty french bread with my soup without it feeling like lead shots balls in my gut, easy 100 calorie addition if I chose to spread my meal to a half hour.

I will confess that I hit the Lucky Charms this month 10 to 12 times which was probably good for holding me back a pound or two or three, that and the whole milk Tim Hortons Lattes with Splenda and several boxes of no sugar added fudgepops at 40 calories each.  I rationalized Lucky Charms as my "sleeping meds" a 1/3 cup portion and I get sleepy and I am out in less than 20 minutes at first I counted it as calories but I need to get back to journalizing my food so I know where I am at. 

Exercise has been good this month, I have done three days of running a week for four weeks now as well as dance every week.  Yesterday was the first time I skipped due to a long session at the mall it was almost 11pm before I got home.  I actually enjoyed the mall time, at 365 it was painful trying to keep up with a 15 year old.  I walked at a clip that resulted in passing most people, I don't recall being passed by anyone.  One hundred pounds ago it was the opposite with me passing noone.  I ran up the stairs in the middle rather than one step at a time or finding the escalator.

I stopped to get a few things at the grocery on the way home.   The dang Tim Horton's latte machine had spoiled milk in it.  I drank three mouths driving home before I opened it to look and eeeww.  That will teach me to try it BEFORE leaving the store.

I recall being 345 for the longest time and I was never unhappy.  Life is too short to be unhappy.  Life happens and you deal with it, things could be worse - blindness, loss of mobility, death, being a racistic or a bigot all options I would take my fatness over any day. 

During the ten months it took me to get to surgery I recall struggling at 335 to 340 for what seemed like forever, still under medicated on my thyroid and frequently tired. Yeah life was bad for me at 365 so I saw a doctor and found out I had diabetes, hypothyroid and sleep apnea and started fixing it ten months before the surgery by watching what I ate, exercising and taking my meds.  When the doctor undermedicated me I sought out a specialist and felt better than ever.

I am 253 and very happy with that even though I know more weight loss is in my future.  I am wearing a Champion XL workout pants with baggy legs when I stand and  an Old Navy XL TShirt  that fits perfect.   I still don't have a job but I am free from a boss that was the biggest bully I ever knew and karma will get him in the end as I have seen it get others.  I can run a half mile without a rest, I can run up stairs that I used to take both feet one step at a time.

Off to go play with the raw chicken I bought last night.  The longer the soulvaki meat marinades before dinner the better it will be.   Pictures soon.

Normally I post this on the VSG board but I am one of the few that run on Sundays and there is no post started and it is really late so I will just pass on creating one and put it out there tomorrow.

Three full weeks done, the running is getting easier and my daughter is running along with me as well when she feels up to it.  I can't believe January is 2/3 over and I am approaching the end of Month Five and I am 1/3 of the way to running 5k non stop, only six more weeks left till there is nothing but running.  Fifteen miles down, 185 to go.



Oh and that chocolate cake I made, scratch way way beats out any box mix.  Totally worth it.

Week 21 is my very first official no weight loss week. 

I have been averaging 2 to 3 pounds a week and have been blessed to have at least a pound come off and sometimes 5, last week I had 3 and reached 254, this week nothing still 254.

My first thought was all the time I told people to stay positive, yeah I have been exercising more, TOM came later this week and is still here, been having lots of lunchmeat so the sodium has been up there.  Positive, but not happy.

Patience, this is one of those weights that I spent considerable time at in my life.  It was the weight I was out of college, it was the weight I was for a considerable time dating my husband.  It was the weight my body went to each time I failed a yoyo diet.  The only thing that pushed me higher was the "free pass" to eat that I gave myself in pregnancy, the rebound after Atkins pushed me up to the 340s, the next big gain was related to my thyroid failing.

On the way down without WLS I got stuck in the 340s for a long time and yoyo'd between 330 and 340s for six months feeling sorry for myself for not losing and comforting with food then trying again.  Yoyo-ing between 245 and 255 was a way of life for me for about ten years.  This is going to be the true test of WLS for me, once I get below 240 into the 230s I am golden to goal this is the final mental block for me.

Last night in bed I could not sleep and began thinking 90 more, where is it coming from, the front of my thighs are rock hard from running, I can feel my hip bone when I lay in bed, My forearms are so thin I can flex and show muscle.  Well at least 20 from the back each thigh, 40 from the stomach 5 from each arm, my chest has lost enough, I can't believe I have collar bones at 254 so that has to stop some time soon, my but could stand to lose 20 too so in the end it is hard to believe but  I might rethink the 165 or have to build some muscle mass to make that work.

As I get closer to goal I will probably start body sculpting which may change my end result, I followed body building and toyed with it in my 20s.  With about 20 pounds of muscle added to a 165 frame life would be cool. 

If you have read this far  I am ok with a no loss week, no need for sympathy or pats on the back.  It was FABULOUS to have all the comments on my photo this morning, what good friends I have and more every day.

Now off to the kitchen to go bake a chocolate cake from scratch for my husbands big 50 party, and yes I am going to eat some tonight.  With this surgery I have given up dieting and binging and beating myself up over it.  If I want something I have it in a small quantity and move on.

Life is good and my VSG rocks.