Nothing Dang It!

Jan 17, 2010

Week 21 is my very first official no weight loss week. 

I have been averaging 2 to 3 pounds a week and have been blessed to have at least a pound come off and sometimes 5, last week I had 3 and reached 254, this week nothing still 254.

My first thought was all the time I told people to stay positive, yeah I have been exercising more, TOM came later this week and is still here, been having lots of lunchmeat so the sodium has been up there.  Positive, but not happy.

Patience, this is one of those weights that I spent considerable time at in my life.  It was the weight I was out of college, it was the weight I was for a considerable time dating my husband.  It was the weight my body went to each time I failed a yoyo diet.  The only thing that pushed me higher was the "free pass" to eat that I gave myself in pregnancy, the rebound after Atkins pushed me up to the 340s, the next big gain was related to my thyroid failing.

On the way down without WLS I got stuck in the 340s for a long time and yoyo'd between 330 and 340s for six months feeling sorry for myself for not losing and comforting with food then trying again.  Yoyo-ing between 245 and 255 was a way of life for me for about ten years.  This is going to be the true test of WLS for me, once I get below 240 into the 230s I am golden to goal this is the final mental block for me.

Last night in bed I could not sleep and began thinking 90 more, where is it coming from, the front of my thighs are rock hard from running, I can feel my hip bone when I lay in bed, My forearms are so thin I can flex and show muscle.  Well at least 20 from the back each thigh, 40 from the stomach 5 from each arm, my chest has lost enough, I can't believe I have collar bones at 254 so that has to stop some time soon, my but could stand to lose 20 too so in the end it is hard to believe but  I might rethink the 165 or have to build some muscle mass to make that work.

As I get closer to goal I will probably start body sculpting which may change my end result, I followed body building and toyed with it in my 20s.  With about 20 pounds of muscle added to a 165 frame life would be cool. 

If you have read this far  I am ok with a no loss week, no need for sympathy or pats on the back.  It was FABULOUS to have all the comments on my photo this morning, what good friends I have and more every day.

Now off to the kitchen to go bake a chocolate cake from scratch for my husbands big 50 party, and yes I am going to eat some tonight.  With this surgery I have given up dieting and binging and beating myself up over it.  If I want something I have it in a small quantity and move on.

Life is good and my VSG rocks.

4 Comments