Boogaloo
On May 15th, 2006, I had my surgery. I am so blessed, everything went well and I was up and walking with no pain medication after about 12 hours. I have to admit, I felt like someone had beaten me up pretty good in the beginning, but by the end of the day, I felt fine. I was happy to go home and look forward to a new life. I am writing this profile because I have been reading the profiles of others and they have helped me so much. I hope that my profile can help some else.
May 25, 2006 - 10 Days Post-Op - down 18lbs. I don't believe it's all about the weight, but I think/hope that my journey will encourage someone else. I feel great, but the taste and smell of most foods (even pureed) make me a little queasy. Actually, I hope that lasts for a little while.
June 15, 2006 - One month Post-Op - down 29lbs! The only problem I am having is that I am bored with pureed food. I still don't have much of an appetite (hope that doesn't change for a while), but would like a little variety.
July 15, 2006 - 2 Months Post-Op - down 40lbs! The weight loss seems slow as I am going through it, but when I think about how much weight I have actually lost, I realize that it is absolutely amazing. I feel great. I am working out 3-4 times a week, eating three meals(teeny ones) per day, counting proteins religiously and really trying to get that water in. My clothes don't fit and I am donating all of my work suits to a local non profit called Dress for Success because they will NEVER fit me again.
August 15, 2006 - 3 months post op and down 51lbs - I have also lost a total of 38 inches and I feel great! I exercise in a class setting twice a week, I try and do an outdoor activity at least once a week and work to incorporate exercise into everything I do. This tool has helped me stay on track in situations that used to put an end any of my many "diets". In the past three months we have been to many family functions, weddings, vacations, etc... and in the past, these events were all about food and eating. Now food is just what I have to do to assure I get my necessary protein.
August 21, 2006 - I got my bloodwork results back and my cholesterol is 177!! I can't believe it - it has been between 250 an 280 for a long time. You see, its not just about weight - this number made me as happy as any of the weight I've lost.
I have to admit, I am having food cravings and often want to munch when I am not hungry. Many people describe this as "head hunger". So far I haven't given in to these cravings, buy this worries me, as I am afraid that if/when my pouch expands that I will begin to snack/overeat and gain weight. I am thinking about going to overeaters anonymous to address my relationship with food. I want to use every tool available. I know that the surgery is a tool and I need to do everything I can to assure ongoing success.
September 1, 2006 - I went to see my GB surgeon for a checkup and I down a total of 57 lbs (and 73lbs fromy my highest weight). The surgeon and the nutritionist both think I am doing very well and they told me I am doing everything right. What a great feeling - I felt uplifted when I left.
September 15, 2006 - four months post-op and down 63lbs (and 79lbs from my highest weight)!! I have also lost more than 50 inches and I feel great. I am able to shop in regular stores - I just pick things up right off the rack and I KNOW they are going to fit. It is just awesome. DH & I are now working out four times/week at the local community college (me, a fitness nut - go figure). We do two nights of aerobics and two nights of toning. We still try to do at least one outdoor activity per weekend and I really enjoy those activities the most.
I finally found a protein drink that isn't disgusting. It is the GNC Soy Protein Powder (chocolate flavor, of course). I have been mixing it into two cups of skim milk and I have to say - not too bad.
I am feeling so positive about this surgery, that I have begun to research starting an OH Support Group here in Pittsburgh. I have several friends who have already said they would join and I put a posting on the PA/OH Board and got several replies. I think that support from your peers is another meaningful tool on this journey.
Oct. 15, 2006 - Five months post-op and down 72lbs. I know compared to some, I am a slow loser, but I love the fact that I am a consistent loser (about 10-12 lbs per month). I am enjoying our new and improved active life. We are still participating in organized exercise classes four times a week and today was a perfect fall day and we went biking (8miles). The leaves are turning and they were beautiful.
AND, I tried the GNC Soy Protein Cookies and Cream flavor - yummy!
November 15, 2006 - Six months out and 80lbs down. I lost another 5 inches which is awesome. I have NO clothes - literally and I am not buying much because nothing fits after about two weeks! I did go to the Goodwill to get a couple of things to get me through. We are still really enjoying our exercise classes - I think I am addicted to exercise (better than my previous addiction to food :) )
December 15, 2006 - Seven months out and down 88lbs!!! The doctor told me to "keep doing what you are doing" and he thinks I don't need to lose anymore weight!!! I am on my way to Hawaii with DH and I have packed shorts, a bathing suit and that's about it.
February 15th, 2007 - Nine months out and I have lost 99lbs - uuugh, I really wanted to be at 100, but I AM NOT COMPLAINING :)
March 15, 2007 - Ten months out and down 102.6 lbs!!! Wow, you know if someone would have told me that I would be happy to lose 3.6lbs in one month I would have laughed and laughed... and laughed, but I am so happy when I think about where I have come from in the past ten months. I work diligently to get my proteins in, drink my water and excercise at least three times per week and more when possible. I rarely even turn on the television. What a different lifestyle for me and my family.
Since November, I have been to Florida, Hawaii, and Ireland, I have gotten through Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day and all of the related Holiday parties and not only didn't gain weight, but I lost weight!!!
April 15th - Eleven months out and down 106lbs and I couldn't be happier with the outcomes so far. My husband who didn't even have the surgery has lost 95lbs and we are really enjoying our new lifestyle. We are still excersizing at least three times per week and sometimes more. The weather is finally breaking and we have been bike riding and will be going hiking this weekend. If I don't excersize, I actually get restless if you can believe it!
May 15, 2007 - One year ago today I had surgery. I remember crying right before I went in to surgery (and I don't typically cry - especially in public!) I was scared and I believe now I was mourning food even then. I love food, I love eating, but you know what -- food did not love me back. Certainly not the food I was eating. And I have only learned that since my surgery. There are so many things I have learned since my surgery and I guess it's because I have finally quit eating long enough to hear those thoughts in my head that were silenced by food, by overcompensating, by smiling when I wanted to cry -- you know all of the crap that I did (and sometimes still do).
And while it's not about the weight, I have to say I am happier thinner. I have lost 109lbs and my BMI, Body Fat Analysis, Cholesterol are normal. It's so hard to imagine. But I am just a normal looking person and I don't have to wonder if people are judging me because of my size, if they are instantly assessing me in a negative way. I find myself wanting to stop every morbidly obese person I see and tell them about the surgery, because I feel so much better both physically and mentally. But I dont, because everyone has to deal with things in their own way and and in their own time.
DH and I continue to exercise, continue to try and make outdoor activities our focus. It used to be weekends, vacations, special events and holidays were all about "where are we going to eat" and now its "what are we going to do". I never thought I would be snowshoeing, hiking, biking, and kayaking on vacation. We just came back from Vegas and we walked up and down the entire strip in the middle of the day. We didn't even bother hitting one of the famous Vegas Buffets because we just dont eat enough to make it a good value and there is no use temptimg our selves.
DH has lost 100 lbs and he didn't even have surgery!!! Two for the price of one as they say. So at the end of one year I have to say "So far, so good" I still struggle with head hunger, I just really try to resist. i have this theory and it is "who do I want to be/what do I want from my life" and it is simple. I don't want to be obese. I dont the physical or psychological ramifications that go with it. So, I have to resist head hunger, I have to eat to live and not live to eat. I have to ignore those little voices in my head that try and justify overeating, eating when I am not hungry, and eating the wrong foods.
I am not foolish, I realize that I am still in the honeymoon period of my weightloss journey and that I might become complacent in one year, two years or three years, but I have hope and faith that I won't. As a matter of fact, it is still a nagging fear of mine, but I know what tools I need to use and hopefully I will continue to use them.
August 15, 2007 - ooooooooh, I had no idea that it had been so long since I last updated! But here is the news as it stands. I have now lost 117lbs and I am pretty much done... or at least that's what everyone is telling me. I am now getting scolded about being too skinny by the same people who used to scold me for being too fat! I am wearing a size six and smalls - which is as little as I could have ever hoped to be. I do not exercise as much as I used to, but I still go to the gym at least twice a week and try to walk more places than I drive. I lift weights and do cardio. I don't think twice a week is enough... I have been traveling a lot for work so working out at my gym is difficult and I have to figure out ways around it. But, whenever I am out of town, I try to walk often.
I still have tremedous head hunger, but have come to realize that I have a compulsive personality in general :) I know what I need to do to be successful at this and I need to do it . Yeah, sometimes that is easier said than done, but I have no interntion of giving up... at all. I will continue to look to OH for support and direction, I talk about this "stuff" with people that I love and trust, I drink my water, I take my vitamins and as always.... Protein, protein, protein (and prayer, don't forget prayer) Who knows what the future holds, but I know I feel great now and I have had lots of fun learning to kayak, traveling, shopping, snow shoeing, hiking, biking, etc... These are things I didn't even have the confidence to try two years ago.
December 15, 2007 - Again - waaaaaay toooo long in between posts even though no one can read these because I am a computer dummy. Went to see Dr. Q today and felt great afterwards. He said I am a model patient, doing everything right. I am down 118lbs which is good by me. I had hoped to be down 120, but I am not ridiculous about it. I am wearing size six and sometimes fours which is awesome. I continue to exercise, but not as much and I know that is not a good thing. I don't want the old habits to creep back in. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got - ya know?!
I had to go to the DH's Holiday Party and it was so nice to not feel shame at my size. I got to wear a cute little skirt and top and some very sexy boots and DH was all groping at me and that was nice. I saw and old friend there and she was in tears and asked if she could hug me, she was so happy for me. I am looking forward to and fearing the Holidays at the same time. Sugar doesn't disagree with me as I hoped it would, but it's going to be up to me instead and I haven't been so reliable when that was the case in the past. But, I have faith.
February 15, 2008 - Here I am at 21 months post-op and guess what??? I am teaching a Zumba Class for the Community College beginning next week! Can you believe it, because I cannot?! Me, teaching an exercise class! Me, standing in front of a group of strangers motivating them to shake it! It's just so surreal, I can't stop chuckling to myself. But, this is just one of the many ways my life has changed since the surgery.
I can't believe it's been almost two years. When I think back it's just been an amazing journey. Every once in a while, I am remineded that it is an ongoing journey, the surgery is just a tool and I need to keep on top of things. I did gain about 4-5lbs over the holidays and when I tell people that I am trying to lose my 4-5lbs of holiday weight, they just laugh at me using words like "tiny" and "small" to describe me. And yes, I have lost the weight and back down to having lost 117lbs. I am wearing a size FOUR (wow) and small everything.
It's just so odd because I got a new job about 8 months ago so everyone that knows me, only knows me as this "tiny" person and they just don't understand how careful I have to be. People are always saying, "well you're so little, you don't have to worry like the rest of us" It is just so odd that is how people see me. But, I always have an emergency protein bar in my purse, in my desk and in my car. I carry water with me everywhere and keep a case in the trunk. You just never know and I don't want to make bad decisions because I have no good choices.
May 15, 2009 - Wow! I can't believe it, three years since this amazing, challenging, thought provoking, life altering journey began. So, here are the stats... 117 lbs lost and holding (and 133 lbs total since I began meeting with Dr. Quinlan's office) , size 4 jeans, size small (and sometimes extra-small) clothes - I never would've guessed it. I just keep thinking about the Grateful Dead song and find myself singing "what a long strange trip its been"
I wish I could articulate all of my thoughts and feelings this morning - my life has changed in so many ways. The other day I jokingly told some co-workers that they needed to quit bringing goodies to work as I would like to continue to fit into my clothing and they said to me, "you can kiss that cute little figure of yours good-bye, if you work here, you will gain weight" and all I heard was, "blah, blah, blah... cute little figure....blah, blah" and then I just laughed to myself.
Since the surgery, I have turned 50, I have become the grandmother of the cutest litlle girl, I have become an exercise instructor, I have gone backpacking through the woods with with 25lbs on my back for two day stints, I have kayaked in the ocean and on the rivers, I have biked the trails, I have snowshoed throught the woods - and I own and wear a bikini!!!
This does not mean that life is without struggles - I have them. But I know that this "tool" surely helps. Do I have head hunger? Alll the time! Do i give into tempation? Sometimes I do. Do I beat myself up afterwards? Yup. But I don't give up. I continue to concentrate on protein, continue to drink my water, continue to exercise, continue to take my vitamins and continue to read the OH boards for inspiration.
What does the future hold - I surely do not know, I just know that I am grateful.
May 16, 2010 - So yesterday was my four year surgiversary and I had meant to post but I had so much to do! My morning workout, then a birthday party, then a wedding and finally a concert.
I still remember sitting in my house recovering from my surgery and finding this site. It was so helpful to me and I can honestly say that I wouldn't have gotten through that first year without it and all of the wonderful, supportive, amazing people that answered my silly questions and shared their experiences and knowledge.
But even then, I remember wondering where the long timers were - where were the folks who had their surgeries 4, 5, 6 or even 10 years ago? At that time I promised myself I would make sure to continue to contribute, even in some small way, forever so that the newbies would know that it can work for the long haul. Now here I am, I haven't been on this site in so long and I apologize for as much as I have gained from this site, I have not returned.
So, here's my story. I lost 120 pounds and more than 100 inches... I am a certified group fitness, Pilates and Zumba instructor and I am going for my spinning certification this month. My son asked me to train and run the marathon with him, and while I don't think I will, it was certainly something no one would've asked me five years ago!
But most of all, I don't have the self loathing that comes with horrible body self-image - I think back on those days and the thoughts that ran through my head about myself and it makes me a little sad for anyone who is struggling with their weight thinking less of themselves for it.
So, I just want to say that no matter where you are in this struggle you are beautiful!!!! I want to thank all of you who have supported and inspired me with your grace and generosity and I want remind you that I am here if you need me.
Love and Happiness,
Lou
May 15, 2011 - Five Years - Where Has the Time Gone!
So, here I am - five years post-op and I wish I had something profound to say but I really don't. I met with my surgeon on Friday and he said that my bloodwork was as good as it could be and that he couldn't be happier with my results - he said I am whole new person - and it's true!
For those of you who don't know me, my story goes a little like this...Since my surgery, I have lost 117 lbs (and 133 since I began the process). I lost over 100 inches and now teach Zumba, Spinning, Pilates and Aerobics. I have completed my graduate degree and kayaked the ocean in Hawaii. I back-pack, hike, bike and spent two weeks in Italy over the Christmas holidays and didn't gain a pound!!!!!
So, here's the secret - THERE IS NO SECRET. I do what my doctor told me... protein, protein, protein, water, water, water, AND exercise. The changes I made after my surgery are now my lifestyle. I recognize the surgery as the tool that it is and I don't take my weight loss for granted. There is an old expression, "if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got" and that's the truth. If I return to my old way of living, rely on food for comfort, or entertainment, sit on the couch watching television, etc.. I will not be happy with the results.
So on Friday at my 5 Year Post Surgery appointment, my doctor put down my chart, sat down and asked me to reflect on the changes in my life since the surgery and I rattled off the list above, but what I didn't tell him was this:
- I no longer cry in the dressing room of departments stores, filled with self loathing and shame, when I try on clothes
- I no longer walk into a room assuming people are negatively judging me because of my obesity
- I don't avoid parties and other events because I am ashamed of my size
- I don't try and overcompensate for my weight by trying to get everyone to love me
I am writing today because I can't help but be reflective on this anniversary and because this site meant so much to me while getting through that first year. I can only hope that this note can be of some motivation/inspiration to someone who is new or struggling in their journey. Where ever you are in this journey, know that you are so beautiful, that you have done something wonderful for yourself and that this site is just filled with wise, knowlegeable, and wonderful people who understand what you are going through and support you unconditionally.
And finally, I write today to again thank all of you who helped me along this journey with your support, grace and generosity. I remain humbled by this site and its members.
Good luck in all you do,
Love & Happiness,
