April 16, 2010....

Apr 16, 2010

The past few years have been really crazy.  Going through a lot and trying hard to fight back.  Like so many other folks, my road to wls has been really bumpy.  Frustrating highs, shattering lows...and some hopeful plateaus and middleground.  I had my heart set on having DS surgery with Dr. Rabkin in SF, but he doesn't accept Medicare (I had Kaiser coverage at one point, but once I stopped working I lost it) and I was unable to locate anyone else in my area who would do it -- and I definitely don't have the income where I could afford to travel to find a DS surgeon.  So, I thought long and hard on my next best choice -- RNY.  I made the decision, began searching for surgeons in my area and found the bariatric program at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in Oakland.  I went through all of the pre-op testing, orientations, meetings and evals.  Now I'm waiting to hear if Medicare will give their approval...and I have a tentative surgery date scheduled for 8am on May 4th.  Did I really just write that??  

I'm doing their pre-op liver shrink diet (I need to lose between 20-25lbs before surgery).  I've been struggling with the weight loss since December when the surgeon told me how much I needed to lose.  I actually lost 17 lbs towards the end of December, but then (what else?) I began to have "last supper syndrome" fever.  By the time this month rolled around I had gained back all 17lbs plus MORE.  I still feel so ashamed and down about it, but I'm trying to stay focused and get back on track. 

The staff at Alta Bates -- particularly Helen, has been really supportive.  She and several other members of the team have actually had wls (she had the RNY).  She told me not to freak out and helped me jump-start my weight loss.  I'm down 10 lbs today.  I'm back to using mydailyplate at livestrong.com and that's helping a lot.  It's really hard for me to walk for long periods (and I'm really self-conscious of how I look when I walk in public -- I kind of waddle back-and-forth when I walk) but I made it up to 15 minutes today walking in my neighborhood -- that's longer than I've done in the past few years.   I went walking yesterday and today was my second day.  I want so bad to keep it up.  I've been focusing on how good I felt -- like the way my stomach muscles and buttocks felt like they were actually doing something.  It felt good.  Still can't believe I've done it 2 days in a row.  I'm trying hard to not weight myself every few hours like I had been doing.  Drove me nuttier than I already am!  So, now I'm down to once in the morning and once in the evening at bedtime.  I'm 354 today.  I guess well see what happens.  Wish me luck

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Aug 25, 2006
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