bramlyn

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 well im a tad bit over a month out... im finally feeling normal! theres still a kinda tightness-pulling in my mid to lower left hand side of my stomach.... but its dealable, plus still cant sleep on my stomach, but im getting used to side sleeping. im eating softish proteins. so far no problems with anything, my only problems have dealt with drinking,, sometimes i take too big of a swallow or drink too fast, but it passes through and feel a bit better. occasionally smells of foods and other things still makes me gag, but no throwing up...... all in all doing pretty good!

 im starting to feel human,,still dealing with a lil depression, but able to get out of bed and try to look alive,, just kiddin... im feeling pretty good,, finally on soft protein  eggs dont do well with me,, but cheese and yogurt, also cottage cheese is great, still not hungry,, i think im liking that,,  went to my family doc for the depression, he upped my meds, so far so good! in the three weeks since surgery ive lost 40 pounds... since december 1st ive lost 191 pounds. i cannot believe it,,, i cant wait to hit my 200 pound mark!

 met with my surgeon today! lost 18 pounds since surgery,, im so excited! plus got my drain pulled out today! im so glad that thing gave me the creeps! now i dont have to go back for a month,, cant wait till then!

 well its saturday,, 9 days post op..... bronchitis is kickin my guts from the inside out,,,, went to the er last night, got meds, antibiotics,, and a cough syrup... i put my huge girdle looking band on, curled up and slept pretty good.. the hospital also found out that i have a kidney infection. i didnt even know it,, but i have to drink tons more water,, its ok though, i have no problem with water. i just forget till im thirsty then wen i wuld normally guzzle,,,,, i can only sip..so,,, still learning,, ill pop in the chat room later, have a great day everyone!

 im having a very grumpy day!  i had surgery last thursday,,,,, got out on monday night,, had reactions to my pain meds,,, my insurance still refuses to fill my lovenox shots to prevent blood clots..... im hurting really bad, two nights ago caught a cold of some sort..... every cough, sneeze , or any move is killing me..... got into my family doc finally today.. he decided to prescribe a pain patch for me.. i was actually so excited! a night with lil or no pain... its 730.. my sis went to get y meds and the insurance is refusing all of them!  so that means i have to go till at least monday before i get any help!  im almost tempted to go to the er for a shot, i dont know wat else to do........but on the flip side, ive lost 12 pounds in 8 days.... i may be hurtin but im gettin hot  lol  maybe after i get rid of the cough and pain i can be happy again..... have a great weekend everyone!

 whew, i had a rough week. thought most of my pain and irritation was from my surgery,, but i think most of it was a reaction to the morphine and then from the vicotin,,, i stopped all  meds last night,, and yes im still sore. but im alive. im able to be up and around now. not laying here like im half dead.. i actually get excited thinking i get to go weigh in at the dr office tomorrow... im hoping ive lost something,, i sure havent ate much of anything,,, i did blend 2 oz of cottage cheese last night and took a half hour to eat it,,, i dont think i enjoyed anything as much as that small meal!i hadnt chewed anything in 22 days.. i didnt get sick or uncomfortable. but very satisfied,, i dont think i had ever paid that much attention to my body... im hoping i get to hold on to that . today i stayed on my full liquids though.. tomorrow actually started yogurt n cottage cheese.. and cream soups.. i have to remember if the soups are 2 oz also or are they like broth where you can sip them... everything gets confusing

hidee ho there peeps! its wednesday at 530... soon to be bedtime, im in my hotel room.. my sister n her friend ordered out pizza, it smells awesome! they were going to go out to eat, but i didnt want them driving in detroit traffic... so its my own fault im sitting here smelling the best pizza.. but actually im not hungry,, ive finished my bowel prep.. had sum chicken broth and apple juice. kinda feel like i could throw up.. not sure if its cause of the prep crap.. or if its nerves... im going to take my nerve pills and try to go to bed early,, cause gotta get up at 230 am, so i think im gunna pop into the chat room,, byeee 4 now

 well here it is,,, the day before surgery,,, i actually  slept well last night, i am surprised! but today should go pretty good too. i have to leave here at 12 to drive to detroit,, check into a motel. start prep. then check into the hospital at 4 am... wonder if ill sleep at all tonight ,, i highly doubt it. my whole family was planning on going to my surgery,, they all backed out at the last minute except for my sister,, i love her all apart... everyone else kinda hurt my feelings. but i wil survive ''i hope'' this kinda feels like christmas eve to me! ill try to post more later,, if not ill post after surgery! have a great day everyone!

 had my last appointment with the surgeon today,, he was happy with my weight loss... i lost 6 pounds this week. im officially 2 pounds under the weight he wanted me at... and i still have 3 more days of liquids,, and also the nasty  poopin prep.... made my reservations for the motel the night before surgery,, cause i have to be in the hospital at 430 am thursday.im so worried ill over sleep or something stupid to mess things up.... im basically all full of worries! so now im relaxing drinking a cup of decaff pumpkin spice coffee with equal and sugar free powdered creamer.... wednesday i start my complete clear liquid i bought orange and yellow sf jello,, pear juice apple juice, and chicken broth,, i think ill be fine.. its seeming too cold here for popsicles so i havent had any of those in days
more into the warm stuff now..... my surgeon still doesnt know if ill be an open or a lap... im not happy not knowing.. but ill take wat i can get,,,plus he seemed to have had a preference with my surgery, he said he woulda liked to do the sleeve on me , but my insurance doesnt cover it,,, im wondering why he woulda chose that one instead... any ideas?  i have officially lost 153 on my own so far,, im so proud of that,, but still disgusted to see im still humungusly obese.... to get to my actual goal weight i still have 307 pounds to lose,, but its possible.. ill keeep working at it!

 ok,,, here it goes.. im on day 9 of my liquid diet. seems to be much easier now,,, my tummys been rumbling... but i can control it.. my favorite broth is still the mushroom onion..i actually crave it. scary huh? and still going to the gym daily.. loving that also... so everythings going ok.. but last night i had a meltdown and cried a bit. but not sure if that was stress, nerves , hormones, or just missing food. hell im sure it could be a total of all of it! then theres a bit of ''what if i dont make it through surgery'' should i write letters or just tell everyone i love them and call it good.. i dont know ,, but one thing i know,, is if i wake up dead i wont know it... so it doesnt really bother me.. but its everyone else that has to deal. but until then its up to me to help get everything under control. and ready to head out on the 6th......then waking up on the 7th,,, only to be put right back to sleep.... when i wake up ill be ready to start my new life!