Brenda777
My Need and Reason for Weight Loss Surgery
April 23, 2012
I think most of us who are obese have used food for comfort or security in some area of our lives. I certainly did.
My weight loss journey began seven years ago on February 4, 2007, when I joined Weight Watchers. For the first time in my life, I started a weight loss program. I lost 75 pounds. Then one day I stepped on the scale, saw the number, and it literally took my breath way. I felt tremendous fear. I went into my subconscious “automatic mode,” and regained 15 of those pounds. I stayed at -60 pounds for six years. I was happy with the loss, but I knew I could not go any further. The fear was just too strong.
The fear was the result of childhood sexual abuse. Later in life, I finally saw a therapist, and realize the weight was how I protected myself. My subconscious thinking thought if I had weight on me, I would be safe. I realize now my thinking was faulty. It is hard to overcome such long-held beliefs. I realized I had to do weight loss surgery, in order to lose the weight and get healthier.
A year after my first class on weight loss surgery, I decided to do it. I had my surgery on March 19, 2004, in Seattle with Dr. MaMahon. I look at this date, as the day I took my life back. My perpetrator no longer had power over me. I will no longer be afraid to lose weight.
April 10, 2012 was a very significant day for me. I was driving to Seattle for my 3 week check, and nutrition class. I had the most amazing thought, and power came over me. I realized for the first time in my life, that I looked forward to losing weight, and getting healthier. I thought about what a happy day it will be when I get past the -75 mark. This was the mark that six years earlier filled my life with fear.
Today I am 5 weeks out. I am happy to say that I hit -75 almost two weeks ago, and went right on past it! I did not feel fear this time. With God’s power and love, I will get healthier physically and emotionally. I fully know it is God’s power that will bring healing to my life. My husband has also been my constant source of love and support. Without him, none of this would be possible. I need his strength, love, caring, and encouragement.
I realize there will be challenges ahead as my body changes. I have to accept the new me without fear. I have to be confident with who I will become. I have to give up my old identity, and embrace the new healthier me. I will no longer believe that weight will keep me safe. I will work on not feeling vulnerable. I have always been a strong and assertive person in all areas of my life, except for this area. This will change. I look forward to getting back into therapy, and working through any issues that may arise.
I also look forward to completing the healing journey. I currently hold a Master’s degree in guidance counseling (and in educational leadership and reading & literacy). I look forward to taking the rest of the coursework to become a licensed mental health therapist, so I can help those who have experienced the same kind of trauma I encountered. It is my hope to help others along the same healing journey.
Peace be with you, and best wishes on your healing journey.
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Thank you for visiting my profile page.
I had the sleeve done on March 19th.
My weight loss journey started 7 years ago. I joined Weight Watchers and took off 71 pounds, and kept it off over 6 years.
The problem is... I never went any further. Why? Well, that takes an explanation.
As a child I was sexually abused. My perpetrator received a 10 year prison sentence for what he did to me. I totally repressed it, and finally remembered it when I was 19 years old. What happened after that... I experienced a slow and steady weight gain after I came out of repression. Deep in my subconscious I thought weight would keep me safe from harm. For the first time, I went into therapy in 1997, and realized this.
What happened with my weight loss journey with Weight Watchers was I got to a certain number on the scale, and it took my breath away in fear. I could not go any further. I could not lose anymore weight.
Six years after the weight loss, I realized if I am ever going to get healthier I had to have weight loss surgery.
I picked the sleeve bcos I think it gives you the most normal life after-wards.
This will be a HUGE challenge for me! Not only to get healthier... but, to overcome my fears of being smaller.
If you believe in a higher power, please keep me in your prayers.
I know this is the right direction. I know God will help me get though this, and become healthier for myself and those people who I love. With God's help, anything is possible.
I received this email yesterday from Joel Osteen and I think it is so appropriate!
| A PRAYER FOR TODAY |
| Father in heaven, thank You for Your faithfulness in my life. I thank You that You will complete what You've started in my life. Today I choose to put my trust and hope in You knowing that You are working behind the scenes to bring victory to every area of my life in Jesus' name. Amen! |
| — Joel & Victoria Osteen |
