BrendaDM

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its been a while... a lot has been happening which I could do with out...my oldest sister is dying she has a heart disease as well as copd and is in and out of the hospital with pneumonia and my Niece Lisa is dying she has been fighting cancer of one sort or another for the last year and was sent home from the hospital last week after the doctors told her there's nothing more they can do and that she has two to three months to live or less.. she is an awesome lady she is not only my niece but like a little sister that I never had as well as my best friend... also she is my sisters oldest daughter my sister that is dying as well.. and I have another niece that is fighting leukemia... my brother got in a wreck and injured his hips.. my sister inlaw is now addicted to prescription meds and has learned how to work the system.. she is now court ordered into rehab I so hope it works... another sister has moved in with me cause she cant afford to pay her bills cause she has a brand new car... which is putting stress on my marriage... 

 

I seem to be angery at the world..... my mood swings are crazy... I have SAD'S and type 2 Bipolar and sever Anxiety and every thing seems to be going haywire at the same time..I'm going today to my counselor hopefully she can help..I cant take much more when I only get 2-3 hours asleep a night  even while taking ambien something has got to give. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams... 

 

As for my weight loss well its at a stand still or I again 5 lbs then loose it then gain 8 more then loose five... not really being strick  like I should be but I can't stay focused... Please keep me in your prayers I need all the help I can get....

also I quit church cause I'm scared to be around people when I'm like this cause I'm liable to say things that I don't mean...

 

 

 

HELP!!!!!!!!

 Well it's been a little bit.. Time to make myself accountable. Been pretty well staying put at the same weight not loosing which is driving me nuts.. but its nobodys falt but my own.. I haven't been staying to the 100 carb a day limit.. I have however  been getting all my vitamins and minerals and protein I need.. Doctor had me add Fish oil twice a day now not sure why because all my blood work looked good or they would have called.

Haven't been able to go to the gym cause of my back. The back Doctor put me through the ringer thursday had me twisting and turning in ways your body isn't suppose to do while taking XRays I stoped counting at 7.Next he is sending me for a scan of some kind to see how messed up it is ( I'm disabled do to back injurys in two spots). Since the weight loss it helped the lower spot but agitated the upper spot.. 

Sure am hoping that it's something miner.. I am so wanting to get it took care of and get retrained so I can get off of disability and go back to work. After ten years of this these walls are closing in on me .

Anyway I haven't been doing my food journal at all.. I just found my the paper work the nut gave me and I like to have freaked out. I had totaly forgot what range I was suppose to keep everything in. 

Ok time to quit whinning about it and get back on track.

 I know this is not on the subject.. But I ask all Of you to please pray for my Family.. My Nephew Tommy (more like my son) and his wife kelly Lost there 10 week old son Jacob late last night to SIDS.. He was one of my G Baby's... This is a hard blow to our family... Looks like they could prevent this or at least detect this by now... Guess God needed another Angel..


I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY BOY 
G MAMA WILL MISS HER LITTLE MAN...

 

 Ok everyone got a question,.... At what size are you not considered plus size anymore? It is so weird to go into a store to get cloths and not know what size you wear... Specialy your bra & panty's sizes....lol

 Just updating, I have Lost 100 LBS. from my highest weight of 312. woo hoo go me. Lost 84 since surgery. Have been hitting plateaus a lot lately, which is really pissing me off. Down from a size 26/28 pants to a size 16 & wearing a size XL tops (can wear Large but don't like things clinging to me) From a size 4X. Down from a size 56 DDD to a size 40 C. I am kind of happy about it, but part of me thinks I should have lost more by now. Am I just beating myself up, or am I being to critical? Or am I not trying hard enough? I don't know just having a down moment. TTYL...

 Sorry haven't posted In a while been busy having a blast.

Well I'm 215 Lbs, wearing a size 16 pants and a size XL. Shirt wooo hooo can't beat that. 
I'm doing awesome loving life again. Been going on road trips with the hubby.
Went to Eureka Springs Arkansas. Didn't realize that  on Saturday they were having their Mardi Gras celibration,  decided to stay and had a blast, Before I wouldn't dare be around crowds I would panic and flee. Yesterday it didn't even faze me.Thank you God.

 

 I am so sick and tired of Judgemental people. Just because the NEWS MEDIA and TABLOIDS say we should look a certain way. Guess what people... everyone gets older.Skin sags, wrinkles appear, as do age spots and everything else goes south. That doesn't mean we should go under a knife. As one person that is well known has so many times that she looks like she can barley move her lips and the edges of her mouth looks like they go to her ears(not judging just stating a fact).I can see doing it if its for health reasons such as infections or it has to do with you feeling better about yourself but NOT because the MEDIA says that it is the way you should look.... 

Just venting....