brookith2001
I have been overweight most of my life. It began when I was in the third grade and continue to the sixth grade. From the sixth grade to the 9th grade I would go skating every weekend. I was very active and even though I ate what I wanted, I maintained a healthy weight for my height. Throughout highschool I kept gaining weight. I had tried watching what I ate and doing weight watchers with a friend. I found it very difficult to eat "healthy" foods when all of my friends ate/drank anything they wanted. By the time I graduated I weighed around 185-200. I went onto college and then was pregnant with my son when I was 19. I weighed around 220 at that time and weighed 245 when I gave birth. I managed to lose down to 216 by taking diet pills. When the diet pills became too expensive to maintain, I quit taking them, and not only gained what I had lost but also gained more weight.
For years I stayed in between 245-270. I tried the low carb diet along with taking diet pills again (these were cheaper). I maintained weight for a while but the pills quit working and my weight kept coming back on.
So...I enrolled back in college full-time to finish up my degree....I was a mom...and I was working full-time plus doing an internship. I barelly had time to sleep. I tried to eat three meals a day to keep up with my demanding schedule and mostly because I didn't know when I would have time to eat my next meal. My meals were usually high in fats and carbs. I tried to make healthy choices....but there is not many things to buy at fast food restaurants that are heatlhy. I finally finished my degree...magna cum laude :).....I was so happy to be through. I was offered a job working with foster children which is what I am absolutely passionate about.
I have been working for 9 months as a case worker, and I thought losing weight would be easier. My weight had reached up to 290 pounds. I was devastated. I decided at the first of September to have weight loss surgery. My mom and my sister has had the surgery. My mom's surgery was successful and my sister has struggled to keep her weight off. My mom had the sleeve and my sister had the lap band. I personally do not think I could handle the doctors sticking a needle in my stomach each time I needed my band to be adjusted...so I have opted for the sleeve. I hope everything goes well. I have been working hard to lose weight on my own. So far I have lost 10 pounds and am down to 280. The doctor said he would like for me to lose 15 more pounds. I am trying, but I have not started my liquid diet yet.
I went to my psychological evaluation a few weeks ago. The doctor asked me to rate how upset I was that I did not lose the weight on my own without having to have surgery. He wanted me to rate it in terms of a number between 1 and 10 with 1 being not upset and 10 being very upset. I rated it a 7 because I felt like a failure. I felt like I had no control over my eating habits. He then asked me to rate on a level from 1 to 10 about how upset I was that my mom could not lose the weight without having surgery. I said a 1 because I was not disappointed in her at all. I have seen how well she has done with the surgery and I am thankful that she was able to have the surgery. He told me to not be so hard on myself. I realized that I had to forgive myself for expecting so much out of me. I think I have been the worse judge and have been more critical of myself than anyone else has.
I look forward to starting a new chapter in my life and working on this goal to be healthy :)
