brownblonde
I could probably copy and paste someone else's info. Yeah, same old: always been fat.
I don't remember not being fat. I do remember one kid in the 2nd grade saying I was good to hide behind because I was "as big as the world." It amazes me how mean seven year olds can be. I also remember how difficult it was to find clothes. I particularly remember my heart sinking every Christmas/Easter/Halloween when the only dresses/costumes that would fit me were just awful! My grandmother first took me to Weight Watchers when I was nine. I believe I weighed 135ish then. My grandmother's idea of joining Weight Watchers was to go for the first 8 weeks to get the material and then quit. Obviously, at 9, this did not work. I tried Weight Watchers again at 11 for a very short stint.
When I was 13 I awakened one morning and decided something had to be done. I can remember sitting at my school desk with my "Pretty Plus" jeans carving into my stomach. So, I went to Weight Watchers off of my own interest. I weighed 185 (and was probably 5'3-5'4). My dieting worked...kind of. After about 5-6 months of tossing around a 10lb. loss I discovered a fool-proof way of getting the numbers. I started eating very little (a can of condensed soup and 1 lollipop) and walking 5 miles a day and then if I ate more, I'd throw it up. I lost about 20 more pounds very quickly. And though I was not losing the weight correctly, I was overjoyed. When I began the 8th grade I weighed 156 and could almost button a size 10. I finally began to be accepted by my classmates and started taking dance, aspiring to be a dancer. I stayed a member of WW, but as I was growing I found it hard to keep my weight down. Luckily, my size wasn't changing. I remained a size 12 for most of the next 2 years.
My freshman year of highschool I wore a size 12 and weighed 190ish (I was at least 5'6 by now). My weight started to rise and I stopped taking dance and gave up on being on dance team. I started Weight Watchers again at the end of my freshman year, but to no avail. By the spring of my sophomore year, I weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 217. My mom took me to a weight doctor. He was a huge man and when I explained to him what I took for lunch at school, I remember him saying "fat girls eat that." He had me on a very regimented diet (difficult for a highschooler to follow) but I lost 15lbs. very rapidly. I quit going to him.
My older (size 2 after Thanksgiving dinner!) sister's wedding was in May of my junior year. I was mortified because I weighed 236. I remember getting fitted for the bridesmaids dresses. Thank God the tailor wouldn't tell me my inches. Even now, looking at those pictures makes me sad. I feel like I ruined my sister's picturesque wedding.
During my senior year of highschool I tried to exercise more and monitor my eating, but even so, by the time I started college I weighed 248lbs. Everything went wrong when I started college. My randomly assigned roommate decided not to attend. So I had no roommate on an upperclassmen floor. I ended up not joining a sorority. I never felt more alone! I started going to a different weight doctor and began on a VLCD, procal. After that first semester I moved back home and transferred schools. I also transferred weight loss programs to the doctors HCG injection diet. I had an injection every day. I got back down to about 220 by the end of my freshman year. I could wear size 16's! At the time I didn't realize how great it was to be "that big."
But, as you might expect, when I quit the program I began gaining weight again. By the winter of my sophomore year in college I weighed 235. I remember this because I went to the doctor for the first time in 3 years and found that I was the same weight! That was in January or February. I swear I didn't change my diet at all, but by October of that year (we're now at the start of my junior year in college) I was up to 270. Story of my life--it's like pulling nails to lose 10lbs., but I can gain 25 in nothing flat.
Having ballooned, I met with my primary doctor to ask for appetite suppressants. She proceeded to give me a lecture about how we need "willpower" in the "real world" and that I would need to not eat candy or real sodas. ((**rolls eyes**--my parents have NEVER allowed real soda in the house, and I RARELY eat candy bars)) Luckily she did give me the appetite suppressants.
For the past year and a half I have been juggling 10lbs. from 265 to 275. I finally started considering WLS this past August. Having been "raised" on Weight Watchers, and with comments like the one I received from my primary, I have always had a hard time accepting WLS. Additionally, my aunt had WLS many years ago but stretched out her stomach and regained it all plus some. She is now finally smaller and has kept it off by walking several miles everyday and staying active on the weekend. Maybe I could lose weight on my own. Maybe I couldn't. I am tired of being a bystander to my life. I am ready to assert myself and take control of my life. If it were for effort or desire, I'd already be thin! I want this labor to bear fruit...hence WLS.
