November 2010 - feeling pretty Good

Nov 18, 2010

Well it is almost Thanksgiving and it is incredible to think about where I was a year ago. About this time a year ago we had family pictures taken, I went hunting for the first time, and I was just about ready to begin my 6 week pre-op weight loss diet on the 1st of December. I look back at some of those pictures and I wonder who that was! I think about how I felt at that time, and wonder how I continued to do it everyday. I was miserable, I think this might be the first time I really have admited that - I was miserable. There was little I liked about myself other than who I was. I have liked who I was -  just really see now that I truely did not like how I was. Make sence?

So now, almost a year from the beginning of my journey which would bring me to my surgery on January 18th - I am a changed person - I still like who I am, but now I really do like HOW I am! This morning I weighed in at 178.6lbs. I am about 8 lbs from my goal, and I know if I really work hard I can get there. I would like to be at my goal weight or under by Christmas - wouldn't that be the best present ever!!
I have pretty much been symptom free since surgery, however yesterday I had some pain, did not feel like eating, and really was not a happy camper. 1st time. I don't know why - I had chili for lunch - but had some pretzel things a little later in the day - I think maybe I have been cheeting too muh on some things like pretzels and crackers too much. although I try and find things lower in carbs and with a lttle protien in them. But something just was not right - I did take a prilosec and that really seemed to help me out - but boy, it hurt a lot. Need to keep an eye on that if it persists.  I do feel better today, but still have that ache in my gut that something happened yesterday. I was drinking liquids too - so it's was not dehydration. I need a break though too - maybe it was my body saying - rest!

I still am fatigued, have been drinking coffee more than every (maybe that effects the stomach too!) I feel awfully bad for my wife - it seems I am so tired in the evening so often, and with this new man she has she is more interested in sex than ever before - before I was always interested - now I don't have the drive, or am too tired. I feel real bad, but what can you do. I try and drink coffee at like 7PM to help keep me awake - even started a supplement program to boost my testosterone - don't know if that is helping - if she was willing in the morning I could go forever, but with 3 kids to get off to school and for me to get to work that is not realistic. I hope Dr. Monson's explanation that this hormonal and will change after time is true - it could have major affects on our relationship. I do have to laugh a little though - cause when I was horny as could be before surgery - she often was not interested - not the tables have turned (although I am sure for very different reasons!!)

Well - hope everyone is doing well , sticking with the right decisions - I wish you all well with the upcoming holiday season - awesome thing about turkey - protien baby!!! Just gotta avoid the Pumpkin pie!! lol
Take care,
Christopher

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