1 Yr Surgervasary (well you know what I mean :+)

Nov 08, 2010

OMG its is Nov 9th one year post my surgery and time has really flew by. I mean really, it feels like I just had the surgery done like 6 months ago or less not 1 year. My life has completely changed from the friends that I once had, co workers stares and gossip, men that want to holla now who didn't before and mental/physical changes as well. I thank GOD for this site because you guys got me through this and I especally thank GOD fot my mother as she is my rock who stuck by me through this thing. The Lord's grace and mercy on me and giving my mother the strength to help me get through this is a blessing in itself. I'm trying to hard to show her my appreciation and love because not many have support on this level like I'm blessed to have.

My kids are noticing the transition as well and half the time my daughter said she don't know who I am until I'm up close on her because I look different. It's a blessing to be able to fit her clothes which is a size 14-16 which I"m between 12-14 now. Whatever she didn't wear when I brought it for her, I'm going through her closet like give me this, give me that, no donations, your momma can wear now. Holla back  Now she said that she has to keep her guy friends away because they look at me as a sexy mom, so she checks them on that. They aren't her boyfriends, just the neighbor kids they hand out with. My youngest son who is 7 yrs can now wrap his whole arm around my waist and he loves to do it and it feels soooooo good. I'm not going to lie . I can't even remember the last time anyone was able to do that. Seriously yes that long, but that was then and this is now. I tell my daughter now we have to work on her because she is thick and not comfortable in her skin, so I continue to encourage her because I refuse to let her end up like me. She just have a tummy issue and if she get that down she will be good. My beautiful intelligent angel, she will get there .

I'm thankful for my health because this is a hell of a surgery and looking at my scar today just made me realize things could have gone wrong on the table but Gods' will pulled me through. I just want to let those who are thinking about the surgery to be positive and not think negative, because negative thinking bring on negative results. We are all beautiful in our own way, but its not about who you are on the outside, but who you are in the inside and letting your beauty shine. For me its more about now that I have changed my outer beauty, my inner beauty can shine more and physically I can go out and do more good by getting involved to give back to God for blessing me. Feel me??? Its about what I'm going to do now to change spiritually and mentally now that the physical is taken care.

I'm far from goal. I would be happy at 160 pounds and more happy where God wants me to be because society will constantly put a number on us, but as long as I''m happy and can do the things I need to do, then I'm good. I'm focused more so now on my family, showing them more love now that I'm loving me more, school and God. I would love to be involved in a relationship, but only if God see fits. I know how I was treated in the past by men and I refuse to allow that to happen again. Just because I lost weight doesn't mean every guy who notice me is the one for me to open up with, nah he has to be about it and show and prove, words don't mean s..t to me anymore. Been there done that and got a t-shirt. The devil comes dressed in many colors and in all aspects and since I no longer have this blind fold covering my eyes, I'm seeing more clearly now about my self worth and what I won't stand for. My motto "I'm Doing Me" and "I Don't Need You to Love Me".

Well I just wanted to post my thoughts while I'm here at work .  Although I'm not where I want to be in my professional career I'm working hard to get there. I should have my Bachelors degree in Business by Spring of 2011 and then I'm pursuing my Masters Degree. Yes this single mother of three have something to prove to myself and my kids. God is keeping me and as long as he is giving me  breath in my body I'm going to dream big and reposition myself for my blessings.

My OH family lets continue to pray and encourage each other . I know there is a person out there who was the old LaToya and I want you to know, you too will reach your breaking point and will get to where I am right now. We all lose weight differently, some quicker than others or some slowly than most, but at the end of the day it's about how you view not just eating differently, but life itself. That's the true value to me within this surgery.

Love you guys for reading my post and responding with positive feedback

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