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I am 11 weeks post op. I had a 4 week stall and I have only lost 42lbs since surgery 62 since May.  I know everyone loses at different rates of speed but is it enough ....I am following the guide lines and upped my calories as suggested and am down 9lbs in a 3weeks hoping to be down a full 10lbs tomorrow and that will be from the changes made 3 weeks ago.  I was hoping to have lost more than I have ...I have lots to lose still and feels like it is going to take forever ....and I know I didn't put it on over night why should taking it off be any different but when I see people who have reached goal in 6 months it makes me crazy (er) than I am.  And I know stop comparing myself ....yet I find it hard not to .....at least my weight is moving again.  Well 88lbs to go more crazy days ahead I suppose.  Short and maybe not so sweet Jenn           

Well all is not a bed of roses ...I had been eating getting in my protein 70-85grams per day and my water in.  I stalled at week 5 until this week.  I did everything I was suppose to and couldn't budge past 257lbs.  It was so upsetting.  So for about 4 weeks I haven't lost a pound.  So off I went yet again to a support meeting and when it was done I saw the dietitian and broke down how could a assume I was doing everything right yet not get the results ........So she took me to her office and she looked at My Fitness Pal which saved me and she was able to look at everything I was eating .....guess what protein was great but my calories too low so she said to up my calories to 1000 per day which on some days doubled my intake and as some of you know I don't do protein drinks or bars or any sweeteners.  It has took me a couple of days to get my head around it but I did and had a few days of 1000 cals then I got this snotty ass cold so my intake has dropped and I feel like crap.  I weighed myself today which normally I wouldn't do until Monday morning after I have peed and the scale shows 254lbs.  See I had a hard time with upping my calories to 1000 a day,  Change for me takes time I have to have a plan and when I have set things in place I get comfortable and don't want to change.  Through this process I have come to realize that we have to change and when we have we have to do it again and again because no one person is the same ...some will have an easier time and some will really have to work on it Guess which one I am ......I am down 56lbs since May, 25 pre surgery and 31lbs post surgery 27lbs were lost in the first 5weeks and.    Hands down this is one of the hardest things I have had to do FOR MYSELF.  I have had and done hard things in my life don't get me wrong but this is no cake walk.  I haven't felt much like my old self  and I feel like an emotional wreck  almost like being pregnant but NOT.  I am jealous of those who lost all their weight in the first 6 months cause I am just not having that kind of success.....but in almost 10 weeks out I will take the 31lbs and before you all jump in asking When was the last time you lost 31lbs in 10 weeks I know I didn't put it on overnight and it won't come off like that either.  Am I having buyers remorse maybe a little .  I lost 25lbs before surgery in 15 weeks so I guess I expected greater numbers after surgery ...but I will take what I can get.   So I have been lurking and the odd time putting in my 2 cents but haven't felt much like posting so this is my update . I hope all is well .......Jenn    I am obese now 35.1 is my  BMI yay me                         

10/SEPTEMBER/2012
Well I am three weeks out and surgery went smoothly.....however getting the hang of eating drinking and having a crap ...not so much.  I came home on full fluids and that wasn't going well at all.  I felt sick after all my meals to the point it was making me physically ill.  I soon came to realize that it was all milk and milk products that was causing this including my protein powders and protein drinks.  I had no idea what to do ...my surgeon was on holidays up until today.   So I started eating soft foods ...I know totally off plan.  I went to my support group and spoke to the nurse ...Sandra and the dietitian Lorraine, I explained my issues and how I had spent so much money on all the "right things" and for it to blow up in my face ...all the chewable vitamins milk and protein drinks .  It has been a challenge to say the least.  Sandra and Lorraine told me I am not getting nearly enough protein in and would have to eat every hour until I reached my protein levels ...which left another problem ...when do I drink???? ....That part I had down pat drinking for me even right out of the gate I had no problem ...and while in the hospital probably drank too much ...but I was fine and continued to drink.   So I moped around not sure what to do to get my protein in cause I could never get enough in. It was so upsetting ...I had planned to follow everything I was told and I thought for sure I had pardon me FUCKED IT UP!!!   I was so disappointed in myself ...I almost felt that I couldn't do this but what choice did I have ?  Can't go back so I had to carry on.  But I couldn't see the Forrest for the trees. So Saturday a friend could hear that things were bad and came to visit ...I met her for tea and went through a book that she and another friend went in on as a post -op  gift to me THE COMPLETE WEIGHT- LOSS SURGERY GUIDE AND DIET PROGRAM. It was written by Sue Ekserci RD with Dr. Laz Klein MD. It is a great book and highly recommend it.  I think getting out and clearing my head was just what I needed.  My friend and I went through the book and picked out recipes that I would be able to eat ...she went home and made me a few things for me to try ...bless her.  I went home and tried to figure out what I could eat to get my protein in That wouldn't make me feel sooo full and yucky and that would not give me gas from hell cause that is what the milk and the protein drinks were doing.  The next day I went to the store and picked up some lactose free milk and  some shaved lunch meat.  I set alarms on my phone every two hours to take my vitamins and eat ...so far so good I am reaching my goals and exceeding them in the protein department which I am very happy about.  
Vitamins ....I spent so much money on these chewables and I cant manage them at all ...I gag on how sweet they are (everything tastes  since surgery) so I have been taking Preg-Vit and calcium citrate capsules,probiotics and Vitamin D.  For now that is going to have to do.  I just feel I have wasted sooo much money on everything and I can't use half the shit I have bought and it pisses me off.  
Bathroom issues are just that ...I know that constipation was part of this ...but nothing truly prepares you ....here I am writing this blog post cause I knew it was going to take me time to drink the Restorealax that they claim is tasteless.  I sit here wondering if this is what it is going to be like FOREVER .  Not being able to go to the bathroom everything tasting so different to the point if it doesn't go down then it comes right back up. ...The milk thing I got figured out cause it helps to get the protein in and I am so grateful for that. 
I hate to be a Debbie Downer but I just think it is going to take time to figure out... like how tuna for a can is 30g of protein and I thought that would be an easy way to get my protein in with the least amount of eating ...WRONG I could have about a teaspoon ...about 3 bites and it would hit my pouch like a brick and I couldn't eat for hours (it took me nearly 24h to eat the tuna)   yet shrimp went down great.  I had a pork loin chop on Sunday and had the foomies for an hour and gut wrenching pain.  There is a learning curve for sure and trust me there are things I just wont do twice.
    
Now for the weight loss it isn't impressive ....I started out at 310lbs in the middle of May I am now down to 269lbs 11lbs I lost the first week after surgery followed by another 5lbs the next week ...I weigh in on Wednesdays as a rule but stepped on just to see and noda ....I know it is my 3rd week and I know a stall is bound to happen around this time not to mention Aunt Flow is due this week ....I just thought I would see a more consistent loss. I also know that I wasn't getting in my protein and that is most likely a contributing factor and I just hope once I am on track for a bit that the pounds will come off.  I know that it is impossible not to lose weight if I am following the plan ...this is a hurry up and wait process.  

I felt bad these last few weeks cause I wasn't honest with people about how I was doing and felt judged by all even though people didn't know what exactly was going on ...on OH  everyone says "are you suppose to have that? Is that the stage you are at ? what does your surgeon say?" I felt so alone not sure what to do or say so I told everyone I was FINE. ...and I was far from it and so afraid I was making myself sick by not getting in what I needed and it was my fault and had no clue how to fix it. By the way do you know what fine stands for ??? FUCKED UP , INSECURE, NEUROTIC AND EMOTIONAL and that describes me these last few weeks.   No one said it would be easy and I am here to tell you it is work and you have to take the time to figure it out.  I am feeling better ...tired but better Just wish my husband would go back to work already ...he is driving me crazy...(er).  Thanks to everyone who asked about how I have been doing and all the well wishes are great.  I hope this answers everyones questions as to how I am doing ...I think I just needed time to figure it all out and process it and get a game plan together ...I think I have one now and I am just going to work it.  and hope I don't drop the ball.  Jenn               
                                      

Well I am 18 pounds down since I started this in May.  I am not seeing the same success as I did the first go around with this diet.  I had lost 13lbs in 10 days.  I am at a stand still right now.  I didn't eat all the required food yesterday ....I missed the cup of milk,  2 cups of strawberries and the slice of cheese.  I am trying to get the kids back on a schedule...I have allowed them to stay up later than I normally would. I feel they have been couped up most of the summer due to the heat.  (my kids are fair and over heat easily) The last few evenings have been nice and cool so I have had them to the park running a muck. There just seems like so little time these days and so much to do and other days go by so slowly.  But I am caught up on my laundry and I just have to go through the dressers to get everything ready for the fall. It is funny because I would normally do this on the labor day weekend  but this year will be different.  I fear I won't be able to manage all of that after surgery.  So this afternoon I shall start going through the buckets of clothes.  I did over haul my bedroom over the weekend and my oldest son finally cleaned his room now my daughter has to clean hers before going to New York next weekend (she will also be turning 14yrs old that same weekend) .  So I will need to prepare a meal of her choosing and a birthday cake next Sunday.  So there is so much left to do.  Jim (my husband) is taking 2 weeks off work while I recover.  I am just hoping I will be good to go by the time the kids are ready to head back to school.  The walking will be good for me.  My youngest will be 3 in November and we have started training him to walk with us without the stroller but I think for the first little bit I will have him in the stroller.  I guess it will depend on how I feel.   My thoughts are all jumbled and all over the place.  I have been through many surgeries and this one I fear the most.  I fear I won't wake up or that I won't make it through for whatever reason and I feel almost selfish that I could leave my children without a mother and Jim with all of these small kids.  My older ones will be fine They are good kids.  I know this is unlikely but still my biggest fear.  I just need to make sure my house is in order before I go into surgery.                                   

I will be logging my food on my fitness pal Jenn1671 just so I can keep track and stay true to the diet.  Not much to say ...I'm a little grouchier today but I'm not hungry at all and I still have one snack left to eat before bed.  1 oz of protein and 1 starch ...when I tested out the diet before I would have crackers and cheese so I think that will be the same at least for tonight.  Have a great week all ...short and sweet tonight ....off to bed now Hoping I can sleep ......    

July29 2012

Well today I begin my pre-op diet.  Last night I had roast chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots, green beans,corn and gravy.  My
daughter made a chocolate cake and I had a slice.  I made chocolate chip cookies and some gluten free sugar cookies for my kids today too.  I had one cookie out of the oven while it was still hot and sat and enjoyed it.  So that was my food funeral.   I am now  on a High Protein Fast.  I know I can do this as I gave it a whirl when I first got the diet in the mail ....I find it very time consuming which is a good thing ...when I went off the diet as per dietitian's advice ...I reverted back to eating once a day and snacking at night.  I am looking forward to the routine. I have found that I have been sleeping in and just not eating.  I have taken my measurements and tomorrow I will take my before pictures .    I saw the surgeon last Tuesday and did all my pre-op at the hospital and it went by very quickly no blood work ...they did an EKG because that is the only test they could give me really and even then it was because I didn't have any other ones ???? Go figure.  All went well in and out in less than 2 hours. Now I wait ....          

6July 2012
Well I went to my support group meeting and I thought I was doing sooo well.  Guess I should back up I spoke with the dietitian after the meeting for her to look at my food journal and explained that I started my diet early (my fear is it wouldn't work) and she told me to go off the diet  all together until 3 weeks before my surgery.   So since then I have been lost as to what to eat......I haven't been eating much at all ....I was eating more on the fast.   So I'm going to do what I was doing before low carb high protein and veggies........i will see how that goes .  I went to my GP for him to fill in the forms for the hospital and fax them off and that is done.  Just 6 weeks til surgery.  Oh when he weighed me today  I'm 292....but I almost don't expect it to last as I'm off the diet but we will see ...trying to stay positive in this hellish heat ...god I hate the heat.   Oh and our support group isn't meeting in August which some of us weren't happy about that.  Oh well I would have only have made it to the first one anyway.  We have one more this month.  I do look forward to them I might not talk a whole lot but I do get something out of each meeting.   One of our members is having surgery on Monday so on Tuesday myself and another lady will be going to visit her.   I'm just going through the motions  watching time tick by  and other days fly by..trying to keep busy and with the kids it's not hard ....I am trying to make sure they have a great summer but with the heat it's been difficult and they are all very fair skinned and they don't do well in the heat. One of my older kids was talking about the EX and I was honest and told her that this year it probably won't happen and she seemed disappointed ....but this is the best time for me to have surgery is the summer ....it worked out perfectly but on the other hand I don't want to disappoint the kids either ...what to do .....I guess we will see.  I wonder if I will be up to going there ....I know after my C sections I was up and moving around with no problem even went to the Island in AUG after the birth of one of my daughters .  I guess no one can predict how it will affect them.  But that said if I don't feel up to it we won't be going. There is noway my husband will take them by himself.  46 days til surgery                
      

It is July 1ST today ....HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE !! I have just had my breakfast of one egg white less than 1oz of cheese a slice of whole wheat toast with a laughing cow light and a glass of skim milk.   That is my breakfast ...not that anyone cares but it's my blog.  I have been weighing myself everyday since Thursday and I know I shouldn't it makes me crazy so I am not going to weigh myself until Thursday.  The scale hasn't moved since last Thursday so I am at 296lbs.  Now when I started I was closer to 310lbs but since surgery is so close   I have been watching what I eat and have lost weight ....I did however put on 4 lbs ...No excuses ...so I started my pre- op diet early hence the breakfast menu.   Most other days I wouldn't have  bother with breakfast but I have been working on that.   I have been making an effort to eat breakfast , cut out my beloved ice tea and juice, to exercise more  The taking of pictures is a must but my daughter has broken my camera so they have to wait a little longer how I hate having my picture taken.  I think I do pretty well in the water department as I'm not drinking anything else. The odd tea but I haven't had one in almost 2 weeks. Since I was last at the support group and one is coming up in a few days ....so I will probably have one then ...good old TIMMIES.  Eating slower and smaller bites ....I still catch myself every once and a while wolfing and I have to STOP and put down the fork ....I think all those years having kids that if I didn't eat fast there was no way I'd eat it hot ....so still working on that but it's getting better...... getting rid  of the bad carbs ....they weren't too bad to give up .....I still have 5 servings a day it can be bread, potato's, hot or cold cereal unsweetened of course brown rice and the list goes on .....but you get the picture  I have stayed away from these in the past when dieting but I find that I'm not as hungry any more and if I am starting to feel hungry it is probably almost time for a snack or meal .......and boy do I get grumpy if I don't eat regular wow have things changed. Starting my diet early I think is a good dry run for what is expected ....for the rest of my life really.  Well not sure what today holds but I'm sure I'll be doing something. Oh and I wanted to mention a product I got from Costco MISTO it's an oil sprayer you put your own oil in it pump it and it sprays just like PAM.  I got 2 for like 15-17 dollars a really good find and I have been using it and it works like a charm.   Off to shower and who knows .....