I'm tired of carrying around another whole person- tired of being tired ,tired of diets that don't work.As of today my BMI is 57.2 It's time for a permanent change in my life - one that also means a healthier body and happier me... at 55 I'm a newlywed - was a widow for 15 years - now I have found the love of my life I want to be around a long time with this wonderful man and be able to enjoy life - to the fullest and that means getting this extra weight off and keeping it off.My wonderful husband John has fought the same battle all his life - he's also chosen to have the RNY ,soon we'll be getting healthier- together. We do almost everything together and we have the time of our lives - as always -Together !
November 23,2005 Well it's been two weeks since surgery - I saw Dr. Lautz yesterday - I'd lost 32 lbs so far and he took me off the Lipitor because my cholesteral is down to 139 ! Tomorrow is Turkey day - I can't wait to curl up in front of the tv in my warm fuzzy jammies with a hot cup of coffee or tea and watch the parades ! Then on Sunday we plan to drag out the Christmas decorations !!!! Yippeeee I love setting out snowmen I've collected , each year I add a half dozen or more it seems and my dear wonderful husband has found out if he buys me anything with a snowman on it he can't go wrong - and he's right ...lol. I love that man more everyday with or without snowmen in tow.
December 15 It's coming up on 6 weeks - Monday. I've been in a stall for about 8 days - I'm very discouraged feeling very much like a failure . I've lost 43 lbs so far , last visit to the Dr. he said I was doing great as far as my losing went ,but he had to clean up/out 3 of my incisions which are being stubborn about healing. On Monday - only 4 days away is my dearest husband John's bypass - same dr.,same hospital. I've been going on the emotional roller coaster ride of my life these past weeks - crying at the drop of a hat it seems. Of course the tableau of stresses right now are no small thing ....recovering from my own bypass, worrying over my husbands surgery , the holidays and missing my 4 kids and 4 grandkids which are all back in Wisconsin might do it .........
December 27 , Well the tears have slowed to a bearable amount now that John is home and doing well , Christmas is over and my kids are ok too. I've lost 58 lbs so far - I keep wondering will I wake up and find out this has been like the cliffhanger espisode of "Dallas "--- will it all have been a dream ? ....lol Some days are good ones some are not so good .... but any day with John is a great one.... I love him more and more -of course he's the worlds greatest husband !!!!!.......and he's so darn cute --- We try to keep each other focused on the future and to stay motivated and full of hope. In the weeks and months ahead we have such great changes waiting for us and above all else is the knowledge we have each other to share it all with = true partners in every sense of the word.
1/26/06 Well it's just over 11 weeks now and 67 lbs of me are gone and good riddance ! We saw the nutritionist on Tuesday this week. Discussed all the usual things and then finally the question concerning an actual realistic weight goal. The charts say 130 for me - that seems so UN realiastic - I don't think I've weighed that since I was about 12 or 14 - maybe. We agreed upon a range of numbers as not only attainable but easier on the mind - when I get to that "number" of 160 to 170 and can contiunue to lose weight- so much the better , if I level off then I do , but there's always going to be room for improvement- no matter the numbers, or so as human nature goes ....lol I look in the mirror and still see a lot of weight - too many bulges and rolls to even be comfortable about viewing or carrying around - yet there's less of me than there was a few short weeks ago - espcially when I get dressed in clothing that used to be too snug - are now getting not just loose but baggy ! As always my dear husband John is my rock and my best friend as well as partner for life--- for living & loving.
March 4,2006 It's been awhile since I've added anything - somedays things are too dull and boring to mention but others are so full you can't keep it all straight and you're too wrapped up in it to take the time to write it down... that's the way life works I guess. To put things in order I'll go back to the first of the year On Dec 31 I fianlly gave in and went to the ER after talking to the PA about my painfull legs turns out after some ultra sound and blood work I have blood clots - big surprise - I had worse ones back in 1976 but the Cardiac Doctor checked me out ahead of surgery and felt I wouldn't need a venous filter put in prior to the bypass surgery. So @ 6 weeks post op I got 'em anyway, So It's take Lovenox shots twice a day for week and start taking Coumadin which means at first for a month or so its almost daily trips for labs , it went once a week and now it's every two weeks.This also means I can't take anything for the pain in my legsor my shoulder other than Tylenol - I have some Roxicet left from the bypass surgery but it turns out it makes me itch like mad .Next crisis is my yearly ob/gyn exam - had my first ever bone density exam , also known as a dexa scan... that and the pap smear turned out fine .Next was my mammogram on Feb 3 - also had a MRI done on my left sholuder that same day at 8:00pm . I have to tell you I have always hated getting an yearly female exam and it didn't matter if the dr was male or female - I simply detest them and when it comes to a mammogram I can't explain why but I get positively angry at the very idea -- Ive been treated rather badly in the past and its left me with very negative views of the whole thing- intellectually I understand the value and importance of them but god help me when I have to get one I'd rather have dental work done without novacaine than do that.... EVER... I go and I do it because my husband asked me to... not because I want to thats for dang sure-- if it makes him that pleased to know I'm ok then for him I'll go through anything -- he's my reason for living. Well to get back to that test - on Valentines day I get a phone call from the breast center - they want me to come back for Magnified mammogram - oh happy happy joy joy I can hardly wait - two in two months will the fun never cease ? It seems they saw calicifcations on the right one - she said its possible that with all the weight loss since last years scan they may have been there all along - only now they've become visible - btw.. mine used tobea decent pair fairly full andfirm DD's now I'm a ghost in my own bra . I tell people I've gone from a full DD to an F ..and F is for Flat Floppy and Flabby... sheesh -- this is the only thing I think I'm going to see as a drawback when I'm done losing all I must-- no bust left -to speak of anyway. And they've always been such a part of my self image and feminity too. We all have to make huge adjustments both physically and mentally ,this is one I will make too - in time.The worst part of right now is I have to wait until March 16th before they can fit me in,an entire month of being on edge and scared and worried . The MRI showed I have a teeny tear but its not enough to do anything about right now, the ortho DR.I had to wait til Feb 28 to see said there's also arthritis in it and the main diagnosis was tendonitis so the treatment of choice was a cortisone shot in it - holy buckets did that hurt ! Thank god for John - he was right there holding my other hand letting me squeeze the dickens out of his .... while I stared at his chin - as he watched the dr's every move. Now I'm waiting to hear back about when to begin PT for it - its gotten quite stiff ,needs to get loosened up,returning the mobility and range of motion I need .We go on vacation soon - 3 weeks from today - driving to South Carolina where John's family live in the Pawleys' Island area(17 miles South of Myrtle Beach). I can hardly wait ,this past 6 months have been so stressful with so much happening with us both having the bypasses alone - we need the rest away from this area and where we hope it'll already be springtime like it was last year. Btw I forgot to add that when I go have that maginified mammogram_ we'll have results in the same visit so no suspense to hang over us -bad news we'll have a little time to get our minds around it if it's good news we have even more to enjoy on our trip either way we have each other and thats what's important. I've become pretty active on the Over Fifty Forum Message Board what a great bunch of ladies they all are !They have welcomed me so well - It's like Ive finally found a place I belong . Thank You Ladies !
March 18, 2006- Saturday
Well the test is over and results are in - no cancer, nothing to get concerned with - the doctor that read the results said he saw "stable microcalcifications" and the standard procedure is to repeat the test in 6 months and look for any changes and I was given to believe the odds are very small there would be any = WHEW - big sighs of relief. I literally skipped on the way to the car - husband giggling at me sharing my relief and joy & the had to be ridiculous sight I must've been !!!- long skirt hitched up to my knees, papers in one hand, purse in the other - wearing my winter jacket unzipped in the cold breezy sunshine..... We go on vacation next Saturday - driving back down to South Carolina to visit Johns family - we'll be meeting a fellow OFF'er Pam Wooddell- we're really looking forward to that and when we drive back to see my family in Wisconsin next September we have plans to meet Joyce L in MI. !!! WOW it's so exciting getting to meet other OFF'rs and finally have faces to put with not only their names but honest to goodness real hugs too !!! As of last Monday @ 18 weeks I'm weighed 241 ,that's a loss of 82.5 lbs - so far ,so good.....pre surgery my BMI was 57.2 now it's 42.6 this next 80 lbs. to lose seems like such a hurdle . I know it will happen but some days it's harder than others to be confidant and "chipper"......
At Nausett Beach , MA 12/04 (290lbs) - One Yr Anniversary 8/14/05 (323lbs), The World's Happiest Couple & The bride (280lbs) 8/14/04
268 My Husband John and our Surgeon Dr. David Lautz and Me, in his office on January 12 ,2006