bunnyandbubby
Total and Complete Life Change
May 13, 2010
I couldn't have imagined what a life-altering experience this would be. Really. It has changed me in so many unimaginable ways, other than just the physical. Beyond even the direct ramifications of the surgery, other things have emerged from my RNY. Let me explain.
I have been in total and complete financial dire straits since I graduated in December 2008. I moved to Lubbock, Texas soon thereafter to be with my fiance. There was no way we were going to do the long-distance thing - just too painful. So five days in, I totaled my new car. Ten days in Texas, I had an apartment fire. I was unemployed for so long that my savings dried up completely. Lo and behold, I was able to find a teaching job... teaching elementary music. Not what I always dreamed of (I wanted to teach high school), but good enough for a first job. Supposedly.
This year has been a NIGHTMARE at school. I knew I would be discontent in my job - this I knew on the first day. Fine. It was something to get through with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the sake of the kids. THEN I had my surgery, and my whole professional world crumbled. I faced criticism and discrimination because of my choice. I was forced to resign rather than being terminated, and my principal told me I would never be able to work in education again. All of this without the advantage of even one classroom evaluation. How could this woman know if I am a bad teacher without stepping foot in my class?????
Fine. Whatever. So I decided to go to the University of Nevada-Las Vegas to pursue vocal performance. I love to sing. However, after spending months applying for financial aid, I realized that I cannot afford to go back to school at this time. I was left thinking, now what? Crippled with debt, I must work more hard than I ever have before to bail myself out of my situation so I can pursue future opportunities.
But then there was something else in the back of my head..........do I really want to make music for a career? Doing so would put pressure on the whole process of making music, and I would burn out. I know it. I don't want to be a starving artist forever. I had this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that there was something else out there. And I thought I knew what it was.
I remembered what it felt like to wake up from my RNY, fresh with hope and optimism. I remembered how kindly the staff treated me at the hospital. I remember the nurses helping me do even the simplest tasks so I was comfortable and well-cared-for. Then it dawned on me... THAT'S what I want to do! I want to be a bariatric nurse!!!! It's always been a thought that I've pushed away, because it so far deviated from what I thought my life would be.
I keep thinking... maybe there was a reason I had to have a food addiction. Maybe I was fat for so many years so that I could help others without judgment. Just maybe.
So now I have a plan: work for 6-12 months tirelessly to amass savings... then go to nursing school, which costs a LOT less than a Master's in vocal performance with about 100 times the satisfaction. To make the package even sweeter.... in a sickening-sweet kind of way.... my fiance Nick is studying to be a bariatric surgeon :)
So although I'm broke and destitute... I'm beaten down and my dreams are completely altered... I have not been defeated. Life has handed me a reward much greater than the reward I could have dreamed for myself before. How much better could it get?
Finally Obese!
Mar 03, 2010
I also just bought a pair of size 14 jeans... and they fit like a dream! Even though I'm not losing pounds as fast as the first couple of months, the inches are melting away. It seems like I buy new pants every week! From a size 22/24 to 14/16 in less than three months - I can't complain!
Two Month Surgiversary!
Feb 16, 2010
Happy surgiversary to me! Even though I am definitely stalled right now, I have to be optimistic about my progress overall:
12/3/09 - 290 pounds - all-time high weight
12/16/09 - RNY - 280 pounds
1/16/09 - 251 pounds
2/16/09 - 232 pounds
Not too shabby!
Stupid Stall.
Feb 15, 2010
Still... it's very annoying to be obeying the rules and still not see numerical results.
However, I am happy to report that I just bought a new watch because I can actually wear one now! My wrists used to be way too big!
I guess it's the little things that count... right?
Happiness is Lubbock in your rearview mirror.
Feb 05, 2010
YAY!!! Finally... something good has happened! It seems like everything that's been going down lately is negative. However, today I turned a corner.
My fiance has been plugging away at getting into medical school since I have known him. He is truly the smartest person I have ever known, but his MCAT score was just a tad too low to be accepted by M.D. schools. It has been a long process, and very frustrating for both of us. But today.... HE FINALLY GOT IN! He is going to a D.O. school in Las Vegas called Touro University. It is in Henderson, a beautiful part of the city. Nick will be focusing on becoming a bariatric surgeon. And I plan to be the PICTURE of WLS success!
We are ecstatic, and leaving soon to go dancing to celebrate. This is a big day!!
Job Junk
Feb 03, 2010
Well, my job situation finally came to a head. As an elementary music teacher, part of my job is to give programs with the kids at PTA meetings. We prepare for these all year. They include dancing, instruments, singing, and costumes. A lot of hard work by a lot of people goes into these performances, and the kids are always so excited.
Yesterday was supposed to be the PTA program for my second and third graders. They were so excited... speaking parts and solos were handed out, and the program was ALL the kids could talk about. Then, the principal came into my classroom and told me a parent had complained that their kid didn't know all the words to the songs by memory. Mind you, we have been working on these songs ALL YEAR. Sooooo... the principal decided to CANCEL my program without talking to me first. I found out when an email circulated about it.
I am fuming. I went to school to teach... I am a professional. I think I know how to put together a PTA program. And yet, my expertise means nothing because the administration will cower in the face of any parental complaint. So I'm in MORE trouble than I was before, and for something that I don't feel I did wrong.
I turned in my letter of resignation today for next year. It's obvious that I wouldn't be getting a renewal on my contract anyway, so I figured I might as well save face and just do myself in. I don't know that I want to teach again for a looooong time... if ever.
I have profound money trouble. So... I got a second job as a waitress at Cracker Barrel! I only work there a few hours a week, but it will provide a much-needed supplemental income. And sadly, I would MUCH rather be there than at school.
On the upside... I am now down 53 pounds from my highest weight, 43 of which has been lost since surgery! Yay!
The Ongoing Saga
Jan 26, 2010
Dumping Episode.... Damn You, EGGS!
Jan 26, 2010
On the DOWNSIDE... I dumped. BIG TIME. It was my first time ever. It was on scrambled eggs. I have realized that I have to trust my pouch 100% to tell me what it needs. I had previously had a little discomfort with eggs, so I should have known better than to try it again. What an idiot I am! We arrived in Houston to grab a connecting flight to Vegas, and Nick and I hadn't really eaten anything before our first flight early in the morning. SOOOOO... we decided to get a breakfast sandwich, and I would just eat the egg off of it. The second I swallowed, I felt just a little pinch. But I thought it was my imagination, so I took a second bite. One more pinch. I KNEW that wasn't my imagination... so I decided to just sit there and stare at the egg for a few minutes. And the more I stared, the sicker my stomach felt. I just KNEW this was not going to end well. I got up and hurried toward the bathroom. On the way, I got stuck behind an old woman with a walker. I thought, "great, I'm gonna puke in her thin gray hair!!" I BARELY made it to the bathroom... and then... well, it was ugly. My first dumping episode was in an airport. Cute. On the upside, I've learned a valuable lesson. I always thought I was kinda invincible, since I have done so well since surgery. This is just NOT true. NOT AT ALL!
One Month Post-op - Happiness and Anger
Jan 18, 2010
The only downside of this whole process relates to my job. I teach music at two different elementary schools. I requested the time off for my procedure and my follow-up appointments from the school board, and they approved it. However, my principals seem to be extremely passive-aggressive about me missing so many days. I chose to do the operation right before Christmas break so I would only miss one week instead of two or three. I thought this was the right decision, but ever since, I have been paying dearly for it. I am on a "growth plan," which basically means my bosses don't think I'm capable of doing my job. The only basis for this plan is the fact that I had a sub for five days (even though they were approved). Now they are in my classroom every day, observing my every move. I have to run my lesson plans by the district fine arts coordinator every week. Worse yet, I told the principals the nature of my procedure and asked for confidentiality... but now, everyone knows. I have had to deal with snide comments IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTS. I don't think I will be keeping my job at the end of the year, that's for sure! Work stinks right now. I sit on my bed in the morning and feel like crying when I think about coming to work.
On the upside of everything, I have my health. That definitely counts for a lot, in my book. No matter where I go or what jobs I have, I will be active and healthy now. Is it worth it? I think so. I'm just paying dearly in the meantime.
January 5, 2010
Jan 04, 2010
Hello all! I just realized that I haven't updated this blog since right after my surgery! This whole process has been like a dream. Some days I wake up and don't even feel like it's real. From the very beginning, I have been doing very well. I was up and running very quickly. I have never thrown up or gotten sick in any way. I never needed pain medication. I can't believe how well this has gone!
I went back to work yesterday (I am an elementary music teacher), and the kids were so glad to see me. The teachers were all very kind and told me how good I was looking. I have lost 21 pounds in almost three weeks, but I have been on a plateau for the last week or so. I am still struggling to get in all my protein and water, but I am getting better about it each day. I have also started exercising again, which is a great joy for me. I love to work out and I used to enjoy kickboxing... before long, I will be in fighting shape again!
The only time I feel tired or even like I've had major surgery is right after work. The kids wear me out! Running around after rugrats with drumsticks is tougher than I thought! However, I am having more fun at work than ever now. I can sit on the floor with the kids and play games... before, I sat in a chair because I couldn't cross my legs. My work pants, which didn't fit before WLS, can be pulled straight up without even unzipping them.
Yep. Life is good.
