butterflygirl85

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Where should I start?  Alot has happened in the last month.  My new PCP ran all kinds of blood work on my first visit.  Guess what?  I'm healthy, except for being overweight.  No other real problems.  That makes the whole 6 month diet thing a total waste of time.  I can't go below the BMI of 40 or I won't be approved.  What a joke.

Who even knows if I'll have the surgery now.  My husband packed everything & left a few hours ago.  We've been heading down this road for some time now.  I knew it was only a matter of time, but still...I feel like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest.  That leaves me to support & care for my 2 kids.  I don't know if I'll be able to swing a surgery now with all of the other responsibilities.

All in all, right now my life sucks.  I'm ready to give up on everything because none of it is worth it anymore.  Can you tell that I'm really depressed?  It's gotten worse & worse since April when I lost my sister.  The new PCP took me off of Paxil & put me on Wellbutrin.  I don't really think that was a good idea because I feel worse now than I did before.  Have you ever been to the point where you cry at the drop of a hat?  That's me.  I didn't use to be like this.

My husband says that I'm crazy & have lost my mind.  I'm beginning to think that maybe he is right.  Nothing is o.k. anymore & I question if it ever will be.

Well, I found a PCP. That took forever & a day because no one in my area was accepting new patients. Anyway I see my new Dr. on July 11th. I couldn't get in any sooner. It seems like it's going to be a lifetime until I jump through all the hoops & finally get to have my surgery. Will I ever be the butterfly? Will I ever have the chance to be free & show the real me to the world? One day at a time, that's all I can do now. Hopefully the time will go quickly!!!

I had a choice to make, my husbands ins. or mine. His is 80/20 but doesn't require a diet beforehand. Mine is 90/10 but requires the diet first. I went to my informative meeting on June 5th. I already had an appointment with my OB/GYN for June 10th. He's been my only Dr for the past 12 years, has seen me yo yo the whole time, & I was hoping to get the oh so important letter from him for the insurance. That didn't happen. Even though he has seen success with other patients who have had the band, he thinks it would be better in my situation if I did the 6 month diet beforehand. So, no letter. I was very upset to begin with but now I've decided that my Dr was probably right. He was also one of my sister's Drs. He's gone through the past 5 years with us. He knows how much her battle & death has affected me. It's only been 2 months, he thinks I need more time to deal with everything before I take on life with the band.
I'm now in search of a PCP so I can get this 6 month diet thing going. Wish me luck.