ButterflyInTheMaking

wow!!!

Nov 19, 2011

Oh my goodness, it's been a long time since I've been here!

I can't believe I just passed my 5 year surgiversary date!  It seems like yesterday!

Update on how it's been:
I've kept my weight off!!  Woo Hoo!!  I need to put up a recent photo.  My body has settled comfortbaly in the 155 range, fluctuating up and down by 5lbs or so.  I am not caught up in the scale as much as I care about how my clothes fit and the sizes I fit in (8 in pants/skirts).  I do have several girlfriends who have had the same surgery around the same time I had mine done and they struggle to keep their weight off.  I will admit if I am not careful I can easily put weight back on.  I have to stay aware of types of foods (I can now eat anything/everything) and portions and make sure I don't snack my way through a day.  Water consumption is still critical too.  I will say I have slacked off on the exercising after being pretty diligent for the first 3 years post op.  I am still the same size but a lot "softer" than I was.  For the most part my skin has responded well and most people who didn't know the "fat" me never guess I ever had a weight problem.  I've changed my hairstyle and the types of clothes I wear and I am told I look younger and better for it.  Another woo hoo!!  Enough time has gone by that I have extended periods of time where I don't remember being "a big girl" and to be honest sometimes that scares me.  I don't ever want to forget who I was and what it took to get to the new, healthier me.   As my profile states, I went through the KP Fremont Bariatric Surgery program.  I have not been diligent about my yearly check ups and I have completely fallen off of the vitamin maintenance program which I know I need to get back on.  I have vision issues which part of it is about getting older but I bet part is also due to a deficiency of some kind.  I'm great about making the appointments for the check up but don't follow through with going to them.  I think I am complacent about it because I haven't gained weight.  Shame on me for taking it for granted.  I do plan to buy vitamins today when I run errands to at least get back on that part of the program.  My daily eating patterns is still high protein, low low carbs.  I have gotten better about eating green leafy veggies and my favorite protein to this day is a good flavorful grilled chicken breast.  I rarely eat bread or sweets.  Alcohol is very easy for me to drink, especially wine, and I have to be super super super careful.  When addiction transfer is discussed, it's very real for me. I went through an outpatient alcohol treatment program last February to do what I could to educate myself about the dangers.  I had no idea alcohol consumption and problems are progressive.  I am grateful I caught it in time and I don't care to go there again.  It was more emotionally damaging than food can be, by a long shot. 
Anyway, life is good and I still think this was the best thing I've ever done for myself. 

Until next time,
Kim
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May update

May 24, 2008

Hello everyone!  I thought it was time for an update.

Life is grand!  This continues to be one of the best things I have ever done for myself and I just realized again that I really need to get my before and after picture added to the home page.  

My weight has stabilized and I fluctuate up and down by about 3 lbs on a daily basis.  This took some getting used to because when I would see a gain I would panic but I have since figured out it's just the way my body is right now and I am ok with that.  I did intentionally gain back a few pounds a couple of months ago because I was starting to look sickly.  I hated the way I looked in the mirror.  The struggle is maintaining this gain.  It's very easy to lose it again.  Ah, yes, to be on the other side of the weight loss spectrum.....very interesting indeed! 

I am 1 year and 7 months out and I am feeling wonderful.  I will admit there are days that I absolutely can't stand the sight of my wrinkly thighs but by in large I am ok and doubt I will have surgery to correct it.   It's been 4 months since my breast augmentation and it turns out this is the second best thing I have ever done for myself.  I'm finally proportionate for the first time in my life and it feels great.  I am balanced in body, mind and soul.  WOO HOO! 

Looking back to before I had my RNY, if someone would have told me I would have been this pleased and happy with the results this far out, I am not so sure I would have believed them.  This has been an incredible journey and my life has improved tremendously.  I am much happier overall and I get comments about it all the time.  My coworkers tell me they can see it in my face and that I am a much more relaxed person in general.  It's been a lot of fun to feel positive which in turn generates more postive responses from others.  

To get way off track....(hey, isn't that the purpose of a blog?  to post your innermost thoughts? no matter how random they are?), I have always struggled with friendships and I think a lot of it stems from having been an only child growing up.  I now find that I crave long term friendship and I am just now learning how to be a good friend.  I guess it's never too late to learn huh?  I didn't realize how lonely I have been all this time and now that my physical body is normal, I now want a normal life to go with it which includes surrounding myself with people that I find to be interesting.  I want to get to know people now for the first time in my life.  I was always a loner and was so caught up in what others thought about me that I shyed away from people and I don't want to be that person anymore.  It just occured to me that my member name "butterfly in the making" is very fitting for me.  This truly has been a metamorphosis!  
WOW, can't belive the candor in this post!  So not like me!  Rambling on and on is like me but the brutal honesty isn't.....lol!  Anyway, now it's about being a good friend.  

Well, have a great holiday weekend and stay safe!!!


A 'normal' BMI!!!!!!

Feb 01, 2008

Well, I did it!  One more milestone reached!  I now have a normal BMI!!  This was the one last sticking point with one of the practitioners at my surgeons office and now I guess she will be happy when I go in for my next check up.  It does feel nice to know I am normal, even if it's on a silly chart that doesn't take everything into consideration!
I have also reached another milestone.  I sucessfully had my BA this past Monday and WOW what a difference!  And they haven't even settled into place yet!  It's amazing what one little procedure can do to proportion you out!  I finally feel balanced!  Oh happy day!  Look out Victoria's Secret!  Time to buy some cute bras!!!! 
Now I need to submit my true before and after pics to the administrators so I can be in the before and after section on the home page.  That will be a joyous day too! 

What a difference

Jan 12, 2008

I look back at my before pic and compare to what I look like now and I am totally amazed and grateful for this proceedure.  It is really wonderful to live in a day when something like this is possible.  I am two pounds away from my personal goal and to tell you the truth, I don't want to lose anything else.  I am pleased with my weight as it is right now.  
Yesterday was an incredible day.
I had my preop with my plastic surgoen for my breast augmentation.  All the finances came together as they should and now it's really going to happen!  I am so excited!  This is a huge milestone for me.  Jan 28th is the big day!  It's one more step closer to the new me in the body I imagined for myself a couple of years ago.  WOW!  Depending on how the BA goes will determine if I get a thigh lift next year.  That's the only other place that is really bothersome to me.  I feel like I have been super fortunate in the lose skin area.  My body has reacted well to this whole process and other than losing all of the little bit of breast tissue I had and the lose crescents of skin on my inner thighs, I am ok for a 40 year old.  My main goal is to look good in clothes.  I still find drinking lots of water and exercise is key to a good result overall.  
I need to submit my before and after pics to have them on the main page.  The transformation is really amazing and if I can be a motivation to others looking to have this done, that's even better.  I still have times where I want to go up to obese strangers and tell them there's a way out!  Of course I don't do this but it's tempting!  
Well, for whoever is reading this, have a wonderful day!!  ;)

In size 8 blue jeans!!!!!!!!!!!.....FINALLY!

Dec 15, 2007


I did it!!!!!!!!  I can finally wear size 8 blue jeans and boy does it feel great!!!!  It's been more about the pant size for me than the actual weight.  When I started the incredible journey I told myself my primary goal was to get into single digit pants once again.  No more 2 or 1 in front of the number......WOW!
Woo Hoo!  Woo Hoo!  Woo Hoo!

I can't believe it......

Oct 27, 2007

I can't believe it's already been  a year (give a few days)!!!!  Wow has my life changed for the better!!
I really do need to get a picture up here so I can have my before and after included with everyone else's.
I feel and look better than I have in a very, very, very long time.  I still hear every week how great I look.  Sometimes I feel I have lost too much and yet other times I feel like I haven't lost enough.  Go figure.  To be honest, if I didn't lose another pound that would be ok..... now it's more about the pant size.  I can wear a size 8 in a skirt but not quite in a pant.... yet..... that's my goal, a size 8 jean.  I don't want a double digit pant size anymore.  
As far as what I eat now days, it really depends on the day.  I don't have an appetite at all anymore so I pretty much make myself eat daily.  I do make sure I get my protein in before anything else.  I do enjoy veggies and fruit and I have learned to love brown rice (in moderation of course).  Whole grain anything is very agreeable to me and goes down well.  I haven't returned to any bad habits and doubt I ever will.  I no longer think about food like I used to.  It's nice to be free of that double edged sword.  FIsh and shellfish are my absolute favorite.  I would eat shrimp, crab, lobster, or salmon everyday if I could.  
My husband has asked me to stop losing weight.   He likes a curvy girl.  I still have my curves but he's worried I will lose what I have left.  I doubt I will.   My daughter is afraid I will lose too much too.  They don't have anything to worry about.  I am not going to go overboard.  
I have a second consult with a plastic surgeon in a little more than a week and I can't wait.  It is primarily for a breast augmentation.  I went from barely a C to barely an A.  It is driving me absolutely crazy.  I feel so unfeminine without my breasts.  I can't wait for the surgery.  As of now, my BA surgery is tentatively set for Jan 28, 08.  There is a slight chance that I will move it up to the last week of December if possible.  I will know more this week.
Well, gonna run for now.   
Bye!!

From the waist up....

Sep 02, 2007

I never thought I would be saying this but I really wish I could stop losing in the upper half of my body.  I am turning into skin and bones up top but still have about 15-19 lbs to go overall, mostly in my thighs and bottom.  For a while I was losing proportionately on top and bottom but now it seems to be mostly up top only.  I am still exercising (cardio and resistence) and it truly has helped my lower body a lot but boy is the losing frustrating now.   I will keep doing what I am doing (knowing it's the right thing in the long run) and work harder at accepting it mentally and not let it get me down.  
I don't think I shared this experience but a few weeks ago I took my daughter school clothes shopping and we bought her quite a few pairs of jeans and a couple of cute, form fitting skirts.  She is about 4 inches taller than me and is very proportionate.  Thank goodness she doesn't have the unbalanced body I had at her age.  Anyways, she is curvy in all the right places and wears anywhere from a size 8 to a 12, depending on the style.   When we got home and after she had taken the tags off of everything, I was eyeballing one of her size 10 skirts and thought "I think that will fit me".   I tried it on and guess what?  It fit, with room to spare!!!  Now, my lower legs have the look of a Sharpei so you wouldn't catch me in public wearing that skirt but just the fact that I could fit into it was amazing and a huge milestone.  I am not quite in a size 8 but hope to be really soon, especially in jeans.  A personal goal is to wear pants whose size is a single digit.  To be honest, I like my curves (when I look proportionate) and have no desire to get below an 8.  
Yeah, I know, I need to post a current pic...... LOL

Conquered resistence training intimidation!!!

Aug 02, 2007

Well I have done it!!  Finally!!  I have overcome the intimidation of resistence training machines at the gym!  This is a huge step for me. 
I said to hell with it and have consistently been on the machines for almost two weeks now and boy does it feel great!  I tinkered with it on and off for the past year and finally decided to make the commitment and i'm glad I did.   Just in this short time period I can tell a huge difference in my lower body (which so happens to be the area where I need the most help).   
I do the machines monday, wednesday, friday and still do cardio on the treadmill monday thru friday.  I occasionally skip a cardio only day if I have a lot going on.  
The benefits?  I look better, feel better, and sleep better.  
I highly recommend this to all women, regardless of age.

And the weight loss continues......

Jul 23, 2007

Hello to all!
Things are moving right along.  I am still very, very, very happy with my decision to have this done.
Today I am 180lbs.  I have passed my surgeon's goal of 185 and I am only 30 lbs from where I think I want to be.  We will see as I get closer. 
Not a whole lot has changed habit wise.  I still wait for 30 minutes after liquids for a meal and usually wait a full hour after to drink again and I don't snack in between.  I will have a whole grain carb in moderation once in a while.  
I haven't had any issues with the new tummy.  Looks wise, I like how my body is bouncing back from the loss, especially my skin.  My face, neck, upper arms, belly, and hips are great.  The only two areas where I am concerned are the inner thigh and right above the knee.  I am working out like a mad woman and neither of these two places are tightening up.  I have lost 2 full cup sizes in my chest and hope to have a breast augmentation in early 2008.  I have seen a plastic surgeon and he says I need to get to my goal and let my body stabilize for the best results.  I am ok with that for now.  As far as workout, I do 30-40 minutes at a 5% incline and anywhere from 3.5-4 mph on a treadmill a minimum of 5 days a week.  I have done some resistance training but haven't been very consistent with it and I hope address it this week.  I am fanatical about my supplements and make sure I take all that I am supposed to daily.  I am also very diligent about getting enough water each day.  As of now I average 90oz a day with half of it being crystal light, the other half plain water.  
Not a day goes by that I don't hear how great I look now.  Most people can't get over the transition I have made and are always commenting on my new look.  I must say there are times where I can't believe it myself and I still feel obese.  I have no doubt it's the mind playing games.
Anyway, soon I will have new pics up.
Later!


Onederland!!!!!

May 13, 2007

It took a while but boy does it feel good to be here!!  To finally be in onederland!!  Every singe day I am grateful for my decision to have this surgery.  It has truly been life changing and even life saving (health wise).  I highly recommend this proceedure to anyone that is considering making a change in their life when it comes to losing a significant amount of weight.
I am still exercising.  I make sure I do it at least 5 times a week.  I spend 30 minutes jogging on my treadmill on a 5 incline.  I can really tell a difference in my bottom and my legs and how my clothes fit me now.  It is much better.  I am to the point that I really miss it if I don't get the time in.  I also have a bowflex that I keep staring at and and haven't really done much with it so far.  I have read the manual several times and have identified the exercises I need to reach my body shaping goals.  Now it's just doing it.  I want to do it, badly, but I need hubby's help in figuring out the pully's.  He is willing to help we have yet to get our schedules to match up well enough that he can take the time.  Come to think of it, I am going to make a point of it today.  We are all pretty relaxed around here today and not doing a whole lot.  I am sure he will help me out. 
I get to fly on an airplane this week for the first time since two weeks after surgery.  I can't wait to see how well I fit in a seat now.  It should be pretty exciting. 
I think I have said this before but the one activity I can do now that really makes me happy is to sit for an extended period of time with my legs crossed.  I try to sit like that as often as I can.
I have been making a list of all the things I want to do now that I have lost weight.  
I really want to snow ski.  I've already told the hubby that this should be our next vacation.  He agreed so I am sure we will go skiing for the first time this next winter.  I can't wait.  
I also want to train for a marathon.  Not sure of the distance but I want to research it and make a plan.  This will help me out with getting in a routine on the bowflex.  
As far as eating habits, nothing has really changed since the last time I wrote about it.  Each meal is still really high in protein, I get all of my liquids in daily, and I am great about my supplements each day too.  I rarely eat a simple carb and when I do, it is never more than a bite or two.  I don't feel deprived of anything and don't think I ever will.  
Clothes shopping is still a lot of fun and is my prefered activity over anything else.  I LOVE trying on clothes.  It is so nice to not have to shop in the Women's department anymore. I am all misses and some juniors now and it feels wonderful.  
For those of you that have had surgery and are well on your way to losing weight, have you noticed that you view overweight people differently?  Not in a bad way but in a concerned way?  As though you want to go up to them and share your experience and let them know there is a safe and effective way out of the torment of being heavy???  I do, all the time.   I also watch the expressions on their faces more closely and more often than not they look so very unhappy.  Who is to say it's all weight related, but I am sure some of it is.  I just want to scream from the rooftops how incredible this surgery is.  
Well, gonna run for now.  TTYL.


About Me
Location
25.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/30/2006
Surgery Date
Oct 17, 2006
Member Since

Friends 13

Latest Blog 24
May update
A 'normal' BMI!!!!!!
What a difference
In size 8 blue jeans!!!!!!!!!!!.....FINALLY!
I can't believe it......
From the waist up....
Conquered resistence training intimidation!!!
And the weight loss continues......
Onederland!!!!!

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