ButterflyWings

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Well, I know, of course, that I have been away too long....... again!  What else is new.  It's not like I don't have time to visit and write.  I visit the message boards, but haven't added much.  I just haven't had much to say I guess. 

Until recently, I was in a stall, although my Dietician says that it was not a stall, but that "I needed to really watch what I was eating and stay away from the salt".  I thought I was doing well, but it seems that I was NOT eating what I should be eating.  I was having a lot of cheese and "high-salt" foods and was retaining water and I will also admit that on occassion, I was having a  .    The dreaded word!  Of course, by "Cookie", I meant, TLC Kashi cookie - that's better for you, right?  Full of fiber and less sugars, right?  
Wrong - just because it is a Cookie.... that's reason enough to stay away!    I WILL NOT - HOWEVER - LIVE IN FEAR OF "The COOKIE!!"

Well, JB was right, naturally!  Stayed away from the salt and the cookies and bumped up my exercise and as of Thursday, March 6, my last Support Group Mtg and weigh-in....... I am down 102 lbs.  (for those at the mtg, I know I said I was down 104lbs, but that is because I am not good at math).

Let me also add the following GREAT MILESTONES!!  
   A)  I am off 1 of my blood pressure meds
   B)  I no longer have sleep apnea 
   C)  I am down 102lbs.  (I know, I said that already)
   D)  I am in a size 18/20 (down from 30/32) 
   E)  I have SOOO much energy and LOVE to workout 
   F)  My BMI is 39 (down from 51)

On that note, let me say this...... I am a much happier, confident women...... still unemployed and still broke....... but 
Happy and Confident and Loving Life Again!!!!!

  Yes I am!  I am my own worst Enemy! 

My son's birthday was Sunday the 10th (he turned 24).  Ugh that makes me old, doesn't it?!??!  I don't feel old though and when we go out together, people think we are dating.  He HATES that!!    BUT I LUV IT!!!  

I ate chocolate chip cookie cake for my son's birthday and the next day and the next day and the next day.... and then Valentine's Day came..... and I didn't eat anything that day..... Oh, my ... Good For Me, right?!  

Wrong.  No wonder my weight loss is going nowhere!!  On the good side, I don't think I gained anything, because I was/am exercising at least 30 minutes a day - 4-5 times a week.  

I WILL MASTER THIS LIFESTYLE CHANGE!  I WILL, I WILL, I WILL DO IT!!

Saw JB, my dietician today.... she gave me some great ideas for menus and wants me to plan my menu for the week and shop for those menu items - staying away from salty foods and/or high sodium foods and processed foods (I have been eating a lot of cheese and turkey bacon and Easy items because my creatively flew out the window when I had surgery ..... perhaps the doctor cut that out by mistake. Ha ha ha ha

Anyway.... I'll see what happens.  Wish me luck - I'm gonna need it. 
By the way... Thanks for all the support - you guys are great! 
Hugz and Kisses!!    

HEY!  Just got on the scale and it read...  280 1/2 ... what gives? 
I wasn't upset mind you, just confused.  That would mean I have lost 98lbs and that's great, but from one day to the next, the variation is so crazy.  I think maybe I am weighing myself too often and making myself crazy!!!!!! 

Crazy reminds me that I just got this movie "Snake Pit" that my mom said is Great - its really old from the 40's I think.  Olivia DeHaviland stars.  It's not about snakes, but about "crazy" - I think I'll watch it today.  Mom..... this is for you.

Maybe, going to see my Dietician on Monday and her helping me make a weekly menu and such, has helped.  Let's hope that's it. 

JB......... You are MAAAAVVVEELLLOOUUUUSSSS!  
You have a sunny personality and are a joy to be around and you have this way of twisting the bad things we do around so that we don't feel SOOOO awful and beat ourselves up. 

I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK..... why did I wait so long to go see her?  Funny thing is, I am the reason......... I was waiting for the office to call ME to make an appt. with ME so that they could see how I was progressing.  Who am I kidding - I am the one who is supposed to be pro-active in MY WL journey, NOT sit around and wait for them to "fix" me.  

Well, enough about the past...... I am only 4 1/2 months out from surgery and doing wonderful!  Tomorrow I will write out my weekly menu and exercise plan and go from there. 

WOWEEE   WOW  WOW!!!  Went to first post-op meeting last night .... it was FABULOUS!  Something that was really needed.  Post-ops need to be able to share their specific concerns with others who are currently experiencing the same thing (not that we don't like or want to go to the regular support group meetings with the pre-ops.... those are important also), its just different.  And it was a smaller group and very VERY helpful.  I'm a Fan - only talking about having it 4x a year though... hopefully we can UP that!

Anyways... My weigh-in was the same - 94lbs lost since surgery I've been wavering and needing to get back on track - this may be the ticket!

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Can't wait to see my dietician on Monday !

Went to NYC today to meet with an employment agent.  I REALLY don't want to go back to the city for work, but that is where the $$ is and apparently the jobs too.  

I have looked and looked and looked, and applied, and faxed, and emailed and called about so many jobs for months now and am having no luck..... so I decided it was time to try an agency that specializes.  

Wish me luck - I am bored and depressed and feeling frustrated about a lot of things, including my weight... even though, of course, I AM TO BLAME!!! 

Here we are..... The New Year...... 2008!  It's gonna be a Great One!!!

                  The good news...... here it is Tuesday, January 8, 2008, and I am currently down to 285lbs.  That's a weight loss of 94LBS!!!!!!!    In just over 3 months!    

Can I get a Whoooooo Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!! 

At the beginning of this journey, I never thought I'd be under 300lbs.  It seemed such a daunting task and one that I had been working on for years, but I have made it and my next goal is 250lbs.  I was 255lbs. when I married my husband 13 years ago.  

I am a little worried  because I know that the weight loss will slow down - right now it is about 2-3lbs a week.  I can eat more than even a few weeks ago and that is scary too.  I have really begun to be conscious of what goes in my mouth and especially how much.  Writing down and exercising...... those are my daily goals.  I will continue with this....... I feel too good not to. 

Muah!

Hi, guess what?  

My job for the past 4 years closed it's doors today.  I am officially jobless and unemployed.

What a terrible waste!  I was really good at that job and loved the people I worked with.  If it had been my business, it would have flourished; however, it wasn't and the person who owned it ... ran it into the ground because he/she was not a people person, nor did he/she have a clue what they were doing and most of all..... did not want to put the work in.   And..... how can you put 110 percent into a job when the owner does care?  

Anyways.... now what will I do with myself?  I have been looking for work (on and off - not aggressively) for the past 8 months or so, but now I really have to kick into high gear.  Can't pay the mortgage on $0.00. 

I have faith that it will work out though!  Bye!!

P.S.  Happy Birthday to my little big brother Mike ! 

Been away for a few weeks.  When I got home from Thanksgiving with my family, I was sad for days (cried a lot) because I missed everyone so much and really enjoyed the time we spent together.  But on December 8, my uncle (only 55) died of lung cancer.  I flew back to Pittsburgh for the services, came home on Friday and here we are.
Just want to hide and eat my sadness away!  But I won't!!  

What else can I say...... IT HAS BEEN A STRESSFUL couple of months.  Did I forget to say that I have also been fighting with my insurance company - they refused to pay for my surgery and hospital stay (after being approved for same).  I fought by writing to the State Insurance Commissioner and Appealing and am presently waiting and waiting for an answer.  

Now, my weight has also been hoving around 300lbs.  Just can't get below!  It is very frustrating.  BUT, I must say that I am still down almost 80lbs since surgery and that is awesome!  

Talk to ya!