200 PoundsGone
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Post-Op Pregnancy
I'd figured I would put this at the top of my page considering the fact that a lot of people still don't know I am pregnant or haven't heard any updates on me in awhile and I feel like this is way overdue. I would like to thank all of you who e-mailed me and shared your stories with me and for sharing my journey and tears.
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2/20/06
Today I found out I was pregnant. The funniest thing is I had been really emotional at school and even really really sore and tired all day. So in the back of my mind I kind of thought I might be but was in denial(always on of the signs that you might be pregnant). So finally I decided to drag my booty out of bed and walk fown to the store and buy a pregnancy test. Mind you my period is suppose to start today but nothing is there and my period is like clock work it is always on time. Sure enough there was those two beautiful lines, that would mean I am about 4 weeks. I was in shock so of course I headed back to the store and bought another one. Same thing, two lines. I was so excited to tell my husband I couldn't figure out how to tell him. So I bought my husband a card and in the back of the card I taped down the pregnancy test. I wish I could have had a picture of the face he made when he saw that test. Now I am not going to lie there were a lot of emotions running through my mind and body. I was so happy and scared at the same time.
3/08/06
So I had been on the great hunt for a good OB/Gyn who has experience with post-op pregnancies and I have a great friend who works for one and referred me to him. That set my mind at ease that I was in the hands of a doctor who knows what to expect in my case. My vital signs were checked, I had a vaginal examination and of course my bloodwork done. A lot of emotions have taken its toll on me and I thank God for such a supportive husband.
5/9/06
I apologize for the gap in time but I guess this is the best part to share with you all.
That's our little bumble bee. Guess what it is a GIRL. We are so happy and excited. My husband has 4 brothers and I have 3 and I am the only girl, so this family is well over due for another woman.
8/5/06
OK..OK.. I know it has been awhile since I have updated you all. But these are the 4D ultrasound pictures I have been bugging the heck out my husband to me go have. I love them so much. I hope you guys enjoy as well.
LOOKING LIKE HER DADDY
LOOKING FOR THAT THUMB
ABOUT TO GET UPSET BECAUSE THE NURSE KEPT SHAKING MY BELLY
REAL GOOD CLOSE UP..WITH HER HANDS OUT OF HER FACE
IN BLACK AND WHITE
POST-OP
7/14/05
My cousin is suppose to come get me this morning to have me there at 5am. Me and my fiance take a couple of before and after pictures. I can't wait to see what they look like a couple of months from now. I am so tired and wiped out. I make it to the hospital at 5:05 I walk down to registration and get all signed in and pay my $100.00 co-pay. Wait in the lobby for about 30 minutes then all the people that were waiting down in the lobby were lead to their floors where their lives would be changed. Once on the 5th floor I was weighted, gowned, banded, VS taken, Lovonox given and questions asked. I was then pushed down to the ICU and awaited to see my surgeon and Anthesiaologist(whom are the best). They came and both spoke with me for a few minutes and then it was off to the OR I went. All I remeber is being transfered to the surgial table and the Anestiaologist talking to me and pocking me which didn't hurt at all. I was so tired I wasn't sure if I had fallen to sleep by myself or it was the medicine. I didn't even get a chance to count backward or nothing. It was lights out!!
When I woke up I was feeling really groggy and in a little pain. A lot less then what I was expecting to be in. I was treated so well. I was kept a little while longer because my blood pressure was really high. After that was all out the way I was being taken up to the 7th floor where I would be resting and walking for the next 2 days. I was telling the nurses as they were taking me up that I wanted to get up and walk now. I say after 30 minutes of being sent up to my room i was up and walking. All the nurses were like she is walking already(of course that made me feel good), made me want to walk another lap but I was still feeling weak and needed to take it a little slow. My fiance walked with me and got me up everytime I wanted to go walking. MMM I love that man. I think his has made our realtionship so much stronger. Altogether I walked about 5 laps. I was putting so miles on that IV pole. My Fiance was so proud of me. That made me feel great.
7/22/05 One week Follow-Up
O my goodness it was so hot today I thought I was going to melt before I could make it to my follow-up. I must admit I was a tad bit nervous because I knew I would be steping on that scale. Well i got there late due to a car accident on the highway. They still took me. I lost 26 pounds. I was in shock. I am kind of in denial about the lose of the weight. I can see it in my stomach. I am losing it mainly at top. I have very wide hips so I am just dying to slim thoes down so I can squeeze in some nice pair of capri jeans.
411/385/170 (-26 pounds)
I have been trying some protein drinks as of yesterday. I must say I feel better. My ANGEL Ms. Deri sent them to me. God Bless her heart. I thank God for her. I am trying to come up with new ways I can maybe mix them. I don't want to push it. I am still getting out doing my 15-30 minute walks everyday. Depending on how I am feeling I will walk a little longer. I try and go out to like a mall, somewhere I know I am going to want to walk around.
7/30/05
Ok today thinnertime(another WLS support site) is having a get together at La Jolla shore. I want to go but I guess I am so use to being a homebody it took me forever to decide to go. I am glad I did go. I finally got to met some of the great people I have been chatting with for months now in person. When we got there we have to park a long far from where the gathering was. Me and my fiance walked and I noticed that this was the first time my knees and my back weren't hurting. It felt great to walk without being so uncomfortable. I will admit I was nervous about being surrounded by all those small woman. I got there kind of late so I missed out on meeting a lot of the ladies but I enjoyed myself. It felt really good to get out of the house. Feel the wind on my face. Hopefully at next years gathering I will actually get in the water or maybe even run my toes through the sand.
8/1/05
Me and my fiance attened my support group meeting. People if your surgeon has one or you know one that you can go to I highly recommend you attend. This is the best support you could ever get. I have met a couple of great people there. We talked about everything. I even adressed the issue with my fiance eating pizza around me when I stuck on SF popsicles, propel, jello and water. I love my sexy man but I swear if he eats anothe slice I am going to chock him in his sleep...j/k. He has come a long ways, I will give him that much. I mean he was doing some of this my first week out. I know in time he will get better. Pray for us.
8/19/05
I know it has been awhile since I last updated. I had to kind of pick my self back by the boots. I found out that I hadn't lost any weight from my previous visit with my surgeon. It was like a kick in the gut. I have been trhough to much to turn back now. Me and my hunny went on down to 24 hour fitness and signed on up. I walked on the treadmil for about 30 minutes and then was so tired I was ready to go. It felt good to workout though. I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. Hopefully I will keep up with it. I know this is something I need in order to work my "Tool". People if you are on the losing side and you always say you are going to get up and workout get in the habit early. Old habits are hard to break. Trust me I am speaking from experience. That is why I was in a rut when I found out I hadn't lost any weight in 3 weeks(my 1 month post-op visit). At least once you are on the Losing side you can look at this as a new start. I will keep you updated on my progress at the gym.
9/1/05
Ok it has been not as long as the last time I updated you guys. I have been hitting the gym everysince I signed up. Me and my fiance we get up at 4am and workout in the gym for about an hour. Today I did something great. I hit 10 miles on my bike. That is my new thing now. I love riding this bike until my butt goes numb. The numbness is well worth it. I want to join a spin class hopefully in two months, once I get my legs and heart prepared. I went to the gym in the evening one time and the ladies in there look like they were having fun and all the woman looked very fit. I am not trying to be skinny but I want to get in that class and show all the small woman that a big woman can hold it down too. That we can sweat with the best of them.
9/9/05
I am now 2 months post-op. Seems just like yesterday I was laying on that table ready for my turn on the Losing side. I will say I have been doing much better even though the cravings suck. I crave more junk food now and the messed up part is I can actually get away with eating certain things I have no business dabbling in. My surgeon wanted to see me back in a month after my 1 month post-op appointment because I had done so bad with my weight loss. I am scared to go back I feel like I should hold until I am 3 months so I can go back with a bang and suprise him with my weight loss. OK I know I know. I will make an appointment soon.
10/1/05
Today was me and my sweetys anniversary. Wow I can't believe we have been together this long. He is the greatest man to ever cross my path. He treats me like a queen. Poor man has been through so much with me during my weight loss journey. I mean a lot. Even with my mood swings post-op he still craddles me, tells me how much he loves me, rubs my back in the middle of the night, rub my feet, tells me how beautiful I am. How did I get this lucky. We were suppose to go out and do the dinner and dancing thing but I was feeling kind of blue so we stayed in. I felt bad because I hate when I get in a certain mood and I bring him down with me. I wish when I got in thoes moods I could just isolate myself from him. He is to good of a man, he deserves better from me. I am willing to give 150% to make sure that happens. We are so close to paying off my ring. O it is so beautiful I can't wait to take pictures to be able to share with you guys. Hopefully we will be getting married at the end of this month. I would have never thought I would be someones wife. Or better yet a man like him who would want to be my husband. I look back on my past relationships and I thank God for the lessons. If I was never put through thoes bad relationships then when a real man came along I would have never known what one was suppose to be like. I have found my prince and I am ready for him to be my King and I his Queen.
10/2/05
OK...OK. When I go to work I check my weight because there is a digital scale. I am now 355 pounds. I wanted to pass out when I stepped on the scale because I was just expecting to have gained weight or it being the same. It feels good because I am the same weight I was when I had lost all that weight on my own last year. I am just praying I keep it all off this time. I don't know what I am going to do once I get down to 300 pounds. I think I will celebrate by buying me a nice piece of clothing of shoes. Any ideas?
10/3/05
I attended my surgeons support group meeting today. I make sure I attend every one of the support groups because it keeps me in focuse about my Journey. Being surrounded by people who going through what I am going through, is great. I mean everyone actually opens up about how they feel or what bad things they have been doing and it is OK to admit it because they are not the only one who is going through that pacific situation. This group has to be the best so far. One of the ladys from another website I frequent came to visit and enjoyed her self. My suppport group is very open to whomever wants to attend. I cried at this last meeting(shhhh don't tell anybody). I guess there is so much emotion underneath this all, I couldn't hold it back. Dealing with a lot with my family on top of trying to make sure I am keeping me in order, it sucks sometimes and I just want to scream. I can't wait until it is just me and my fiance. I have been in the role of taking care of everybody but myself for so long, it is old now. I want to just take care of me. Is that so wrong?
11/14/05
I am trying to update as much as possible. It is kind of hard because I am not as addicted to OH like I was pre-op. Me and my sexy man are still getting up at 4am hitting the gym. I am not going as much as I was when I first joined but I still make that effort. I am down to about 340. I try and not weight myself alot. I have hit a couple of plateaus and I hate to step on the scale and see it at a standstill after I have been on my protein faithfully and working out,that really hurts feelings. But even when it seems hopeless and you are following your meal plan to the book, don't give up. If you work it, it will work for you.
12/17/05 (-81 pounds)
Me and a good friend took a 3 hour long ride all the way to LA(CBS studios), to sit in the audience. We got there at 8:50am and didn't get signed in until 10:30am(so cold). It is crazy to see how everything is done behind the scene. The process before you even get into the show is crazy. Well they shot two shows so I got meet Chastity Bona(Sonny and Cher daughter), Countess Vaugh(The Parkers), Kelly LeBrock(The Woman in Red) and Vent. They are all the New Cast members for the hit show Celebrity FitClub 3. They all look Wonderful. Tyra looks great as well. I also got to meet a couple of the ladies from American Top Model(the second segment they shot). The funniest part of the show was just having the guy who hyped the crowd up he was so funny I was coughing and crying.
It was a great experience, something I honestly wouldn't have done 80 pound heavier. I don't think I will be standing in no long lines to do that again but at least I can say I have done something I have never ever dreamed I would do. I was that girl who would duck out early so I didn't have to take pictures with anyone, or alway trying to stay out of the spot light, to keep from any attention being shined on me. So for me to do something like this was a big step for me.
12/28/05
My angel came to visit me. I must say I was so pleased to finally met her. Not only did I get a chance to meet her but her children as well. They are so precious and very respectable children. Deri girl I can't explain how much I appreciate our friendship. I hope as time goes by our friendship will grow. I am hoping you hold me to my promise to come up to visit you. I have never traveled as much as you so I am sure you will be willing to teach me a few tricks of the trade to traveling.
1/1/06
HAPPY NEW YEAR OH. I hope all my fellow Losers and soon to be loser continue to have great sucess in their Jounerys. God Bless you all.
1/9/06
OMG!!!! I am offically A MARRIED WOMAN. It is still kind of sur-real because it happen so fast and on short notice. We we have been talking about getting married but just couldn't make up our minds rather we wanted a big wedding and go broke or just jump the broom and plan a big wedding reception at the end of the year so everyone could come out and enjoy them selves. I am so excited about having a big wedding reception. I am thinking maybe on my one year re-birth would be cool. Anybody have any cool wedding reception ideas please feel free to shoot me some ideas. Maybe once we have been married for about 10 years then we can plan something huge. Wedding gown the whole enchalada.
1/11/06
Ok I must be getting old because I could have sworn I have a doctors appoint ment today but when I got there they said it was for the 19th. Maybe I need to switch my vitamins again. Well something did come out of my visit after I left the doctors I had to go to Wal-Mart(I love that place) and pick up a few items but along the way I thought I should check out Lane Byrants 80% off sale. Lane Byrant is full of it, I should have known better, 80% off in the Lane Byrant(Yeah Right!). Well anywho I decided what or who would it kill(beside my husbands wallet) if I tried on a few things and GUESS WHAT???? I accidently picked up 18/20 thinking it was a 26/28(I am still stuck in that frame of mind that I can still fit that size) and went to go try on this beautiful shirt. This shirt was even baggy on me. I had to re-check the tag and then go back to the rack and pick up another 18/20 and try that on to make sure there isn't some sort of manufacture mistake on the size of that shirt I just tried on. Pre-op I was wearing 26/28(depending on it it is stretch or not) but comfortable in a 30/32. That was a great WOW moment for me because I know for a minute I was starting to feel like my weight loss had come to a complete hault but apparently I have been dropping a lot of inches.
1/13/06
Well I will be going back to school for a refresher course so I can get out here and take the medical field by storm. I am so excited and a little scared too. It has been a long time since I have been in school. I want to take my boards and get my license and then it is off to school to put my foot in the door for forensics. I love nusing but I know I can only tolerate so many years of nursing unless it is peds/infant care or I am even hoping for an oppurtunity for a position in a Baratric office(My new dream job). Well everyone wish me luck and keep me in your prayers. This has been a rough year so far but the Lord has blessed me with so much and for that I am so grateful. Hopefully I will get a chance to work on my page and make it as beautiful as it use to be.
v7/14/05
My cousin is suppose to come get me this morning to have me there at 5am. Me and my fiance take a couple of before and after pictures. I can't wait to see what they look like a couple of months from now. I am so tired and wiped out. I make it to the hospital at 5:05 I walk down to registration and get all signed in and pay my $100.00 co-pay. Wait in the lobby for about 30 minutes then all the people that were waiting down in the lobby were lead to their floors where their lives would be changed. Once on the 5th floor I was weighted, gowned, banded, VS taken, Lovonox given and questions asked. I was then pushed down to the ICU and awaited to see my surgeon and Anthesiaologist(whom are the best). They came and both spoke with me for a few minutes and then it was off to the OR I went. All I remeber is being transfered to the surgial table and the Anestiaologist talking to me and pocking me which didn't hurt at all. I was so tired I wasn't sure if I had fallen to sleep by myself or it was the medicine. I didn't even get a chance to count backward or nothing. It was lights out!!
When I woke up I was feeling really groggy and in a little pain. A lot less then what I was expecting to be in. I was treated so well. I was kept a little while longer because my blood pressure was really high. After that was all out the way I was being taken up to the 7th floor where I would be resting and walking for the next 2 days. I was telling the nurses as they were taking me up that I wanted to get up and walk now. I say after 30 minutes of being sent up to my room i was up and walking. All the nurses were like she is walking already(of course that made me feel good), made me want to walk another lap but I was still feeling weak and needed to take it a little slow. My fiance walked with me and got me up everytime I wanted to go walking. MMM I love that man. I think his has made our realtionship so much stronger. Altogether I walked about 5 laps. I was putting so miles on that IV pole. My Fiance was so proud of me. That made me feel great.
7/22/05 One week Follow-Up
O my goodness it was so hot today I thought I was going to melt before I could make it to my follow-up. I must admit I was a tad bit nervous because I knew I would be steping on that scale. Well i got there late due to a car accident on the highway. They still took me. I lost 26 pounds. I was in shock. I am kind of in denial about the lose of the weight. I can see it in my stomach. I am losing it mainly at top. I have very wide hips so I am just dying to slim thoes down so I can squeeze in some nice pair of capri jeans.
411/385/170 (-26 pounds)
I have been trying some protein drinks as of yesterday. I must say I feel better. My ANGEL Ms. Deri sent them to me. God Bless her heart. I thank God for her. I am trying to come up with new ways I can maybe mix them. I don't want to push it. I am still getting out doing my 15-30 minute walks everyday. Depending on how I am feeling I will walk a little longer. I try and go out to like a mall, somewhere I know I am going to want to walk around.
7/30/05
Ok today thinnertime(another WLS support site) is having a get together at La Jolla shore. I want to go but I guess I am so use to being a homebody it took me forever to decide to go. I am glad I did go. I finally got to met some of the great people I have been chatting with for months now in person. When we got there we have to park a long far from where the gathering was. Me and my fiance walked and I noticed that this was the first time my knees and my back weren't hurting. It felt great to walk without being so uncomfortable. I will admit I was nervous about being surrounded by all those small woman. I got there kind of late so I missed out on meeting a lot of the ladies but I enjoyed myself. It felt really good to get out of the house. Feel the wind on my face. Hopefully at next years gathering I will actually get in the water or maybe even run my toes through the sand.
8/1/05
Me and my fiance attened my support group meeting. People if your surgeon has one or you know one that you can go to I highly recommend you attend. This is the best support you could ever get. I have met a couple of great people there. We talked about everything. I even adressed the issue with my fiance eating pizza around me when I stuck on SF popsicles, propel, jello and water. I love my sexy man but I swear if he eats anothe slice I am going to chock him in his sleep...j/k. He has come a long ways, I will give him that much. I mean he was doing some of this my first week out. I know in time he will get better. Pray for us.
8/19/05
I know it has been awhile since I last updated. I had to kind of pick my self back by the boots. I found out that I hadn't lost any weight from my previous visit with my surgeon. It was like a kick in the gut. I have been trhough to much to turn back now. Me and my hunny went on down to 24 hour fitness and signed on up. I walked on the treadmil for about 30 minutes and then was so tired I was ready to go. It felt good to workout though. I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. Hopefully I will keep up with it. I know this is something I need in order to work my "Tool". People if you are on the losing side and you always say you are going to get up and workout get in the habit early. Old habits are hard to break. Trust me I am speaking from experience. That is why I was in a rut when I found out I hadn't lost any weight in 3 weeks(my 1 month post-op visit). At least once you are on the Losing side you can look at this as a new start. I will keep you updated on my progress at the gym.
9/1/05
Ok it has been not as long as the last time I updated you guys. I have been hitting the gym everysince I signed up. Me and my fiance we get up at 4am and workout in the gym for about an hour. Today I did something great. I hit 10 miles on my bike. That is my new thing now. I love riding this bike until my butt goes numb. The numbness is well worth it. I want to join a spin class hopefully in two months, once I get my legs and heart prepared. I went to the gym in the evening one time and the ladies in there look like they were having fun and all the woman looked very fit. I am not trying to be skinny but I want to get in that class and show all the small woman that a big woman can hold it down too. That we can sweat with the best of them.
9/9/05
I am now 2 months post-op. Seems just like yesterday I was laying on that table ready for my turn on the Losing side. I will say I have been doing much better even though the cravings suck. I crave more junk food now and the messed up part is I can actually get away with eating certain things I have no business dabbling in. My surgeon wanted to see me back in a month after my 1 month post-op appointment because I had done so bad with my weight loss. I am scared to go back I feel like I should hold until I am 3 months so I can go back with a bang and suprise him with my weight loss. OK I know I know. I will make an appointment soon.
10/1/05
Today was me and my sweetys anniversary. Wow I can't believe we have been together this long. He is the greatest man to ever cross my path. He treats me like a queen. Poor man has been through so much with me during my weight loss journey. I mean a lot. Even with my mood swings post-op he still craddles me, tells me how much he loves me, rubs my back in the middle of the night, rub my feet, tells me how beautiful I am. How did I get this lucky. We were suppose to go out and do the dinner and dancing thing but I was feeling kind of blue so we stayed in. I felt bad because I hate when I get in a certain mood and I bring him down with me. I wish when I got in thoes moods I could just isolate myself from him. He is to good of a man, he deserves better from me. I am willing to give 150% to make sure that happens. We are so close to paying off my ring. O it is so beautiful I can't wait to take pictures to be able to share with you guys. Hopefully we will be getting married at the end of this month. I would have never thought I would be someones wife. Or better yet a man like him who would want to be my husband. I look back on my past relationships and I thank God for the lessons. If I was never put through thoes bad relationships then when a real man came along I would have never known what one was suppose to be like. I have found my prince and I am ready for him to be my King and I his Queen.
10/2/05
OK...OK. When I go to work I check my weight because there is a digital scale. I am now 355 pounds. I wanted to pass out when I stepped on the scale because I was just expecting to have gained weight or it being the same. It feels good because I am the same weight I was when I had lost all that weight on my own last year. I am just praying I keep it all off this time. I don't know what I am going to do once I get down to 300 pounds. I think I will celebrate by buying me a nice piece of clothing of shoes. Any ideas?
10/3/05
I attended my surgeons support group meeting today. I make sure I attend every one of the support groups because it keeps me in focuse about my Journey. Being surrounded by people who going through what I am going through, is great. I mean everyone actually opens up about how they feel or what bad things they have been doing and it is OK to admit it because they are not the only one who is going through that pacific situation. This group has to be the best so far. One of the ladys from another website I frequent came to visit and enjoyed her self. My suppport group is very open to whomever wants to attend. I cried at this last meeting(shhhh don't tell anybody). I guess there is so much emotion underneath this all, I couldn't hold it back. Dealing with a lot with my family on top of trying to make sure I am keeping me in order, it sucks sometimes and I just want to scream. I can't wait until it is just me and my fiance. I have been in the role of taking care of everybody but myself for so long, it is old now. I want to just take care of me. Is that so wrong?
11/14/05
I am trying to update as much as possible. It is kind of hard because I am not as addicted to OH like I was pre-op. Me and my sexy man are still getting up at 4am hitting the gym. I am not going as much as I was when I first joined but I still make that effort. I am down to about 340. I try and not weight myself alot. I have hit a couple of plateaus and I hate to step on the scale and see it at a standstill after I have been on my protein faithfully and working out,that really hurts feelings. But even when it seems hopeless and you are following your meal plan to the book, don't give up. If you work it, it will work for you.
12/17/05 (-81 pounds)
Me and a good friend took a 3 hour long ride all the way to LA(CBS studios), to sit in the audience. We got there at 8:50am and didn't get signed in until 10:30am(so cold). It is crazy to see how everything is done behind the scene. The process before you even get into the show is crazy. Well they shot two shows so I got meet Chastity Bona(Sonny and Cher daughter), Countess Vaugh(The Parkers), Kelly LeBrock(The Woman in Red) and Vent. They are all the New Cast members for the hit show Celebrity FitClub 3. They all look Wonderful. Tyra looks great as well. I also got to meet a couple of the ladies from American Top Model(the second segment they shot). The funniest part of the show was just having the guy who hyped the crowd up he was so funny I was coughing and crying.
It was a great experience, something I honestly wouldn't have done 80 pound heavier. I don't think I will be standing in no long lines to do that again but at least I can say I have done something I have never ever dreamed I would do. I was that girl who would duck out early so I didn't have to take pictures with anyone, or alway trying to stay out of the spot light, to keep from any attention being shined on me. So for me to do something like this was a big step for me.
12/28/05
My angel came to visit me. I must say I was so pleased to finally met her. Not only did I get a chance to meet her but her children as well. They are so precious and very respectable children. Deri girl I can't explain how much I appreciate our friendship. I hope as time goes by our friendship will grow. I am hoping you hold me to my promise to come up to visit you. I have never traveled as much as you so I am sure you will be willing to teach me a few tricks of the trade to traveling.
1/1/06
HAPPY NEW YEAR OH. I hope all my fellow Losers and soon to be loser continue to have great sucess in their Jounerys. God Bless you all.
1/9/06
OMG!!!! I am offically A MARRIED WOMAN. It is still kind of sur-real because it happen so fast and on short notice. We we have been talking about getting married but just couldn't make up our minds rather we wanted a big wedding and go broke or just jump the broom and plan a big wedding reception at the end of the year so everyone could come out and enjoy them selves. I am so excited about having a big wedding reception. I am thinking maybe on my one year re-birth would be cool. Anybody have any cool wedding reception ideas please feel free to shoot me some ideas. Maybe once we have been married for about 10 years then we can plan something huge. Wedding gown the whole enchalada.
1/11/06
Ok I must be getting old because I could have sworn I have a doctors appoint ment today but when I got there they said it was for the 19th. Maybe I need to switch my vitamins again. Well something did come out of my visit after I left the doctors I had to go to Wal-Mart(I love that place) and pick up a few items but along the way I thought I should check out Lane Byrants 80% off sale. Lane Byrant is full of it, I should have known better, 80% off in the Lane Byrant(Yeah Right!). Well anywho I decided what or who would it kill(beside my husbands wallet) if I tried on a few things and GUESS WHAT???? I accidently picked up 18/20 thinking it was a 26/28(I am still stuck in that frame of mind that I can still fit that size) and went to go try on this beautiful shirt. This shirt was even baggy on me. I had to re-check the tag and then go back to the rack and pick up another 18/20 and try that on to make sure there isn't some sort of manufacture mistake on the size of that shirt I just tried on. Pre-op I was wearing 26/28(depending on it it is stretch or not) but comfortable in a 30/32. That was a great WOW moment for me because I know for a minute I was starting to feel like my weight loss had come to a complete hault but apparently I have been dropping a lot of inches.
1/13/06
Well I will be going back to school for a refresher course so I can get out here and take the medical field by storm. I am so excited and a little scared too. It has been a long time since I have been in school. I want to take my boards and get my license and then it is off to school to put my foot in the door for forensics. I love nusing but I know I can only tolerate so many years of nursing unless it is peds/infant care or I am even hoping for an oppurtunity for a position in a Baratric office(My new dream job). Well everyone wish me luck and keep me in your prayers. This has been a rough year so far but the Lord has blessed me with so much and for that I am so grateful. Hopefully I will get a chance to work on my page and make it as beautiful as it use to be.
Pre-Op
My purpose for the design of my page is because in life we face both good and bad times. Through this WLS journey only God knows how this page relates to all I have been through. Many of these days have been more bad then good but I thank God for everyday I have lived. It has all been worth it if I can help someone else or get someone else to know that they are not alone in this trying time.
2/14/05
Just recieved notice that my insurance companies decision has been overturned through Independant Medical Review. I did it yall. THANK YOU LORD.. It has been years of no, and finally god has blessed with me with a long awaited yes. All I can do is tell all that who are in the position where u feel u like throwing in the towel, please don't. Never give up. That is wat most insurance companies are hoping you do. If anyone has any questions about the IMR please feel free to inquire. I am willing to help anyway I can.
4/12/05
Today was my Educational Seminar for my WLS. I was a nervous wreck all dang day. I made my boyfriend take me by there like a couple of hours before so we knew exactly where we were going. So I get there about 30 minutes before it starts and there is already a line down the hall. Thank God we were to far back in that line. At this Seminar all people requesting surgery have to bring along a spouse or a buddy to accompy them(for support reason)to the seminar. So when we get in there the people considering surgery has to be weight in. I had standing on scales. No matter how much I tried, even amongst MO indiviuals, I couldn't help looking around the room to see in I was the biggest woman in there. Bad habit I need to get rid of. The Seminar was about 3 hours long but I enjoyed myself. I have been doing this WLS stuff for so long I knew the answer to all the peoples questions. I would answer them before the doctor could get it out. At the end of the seminar I had an chance to meet with a coouple of ladies I had been chatting with on another Weight loss forum. These ladies are great people, they even stayed after and offered to answer any questions everyone had. My boyfriend felt more relaxed with this surgeon then the last one we went to, that made me feel a little at ease. Well I will be filling out my packet as soon as I can because I want to keep this ball rolling so I can START MY NEW LIFE.
4/20/05
I called this morn and was asking about scheduling an consult, I was told I would be called in the afternoon with a time and date. I sat home all day for this call, scared to go to the bathroom without the phone right behind me. Well to my surprise I had to call them back and find out what happen to my afternoon call, anyways the person I spoke to who shall remain name-less was kinda rude and very uninformative about my paper work which concerns me deeply. I have worked to hard and to long for someone to treat my paper work like its just another folder(not saying no ones folder is better then the next). I have devoted 7 1/2 years of my life to getting to where I am now, and trust me it has been hell all the way. I must say I am kinda disappointment with what I am seeing so far. I am trying to take in to consideration that there is a big work load and that the office is very busy but I have been patient and I have sat back and waited and now it my turn and all I ask is that I get treated with some type of respect in a timely fashion. Maybe I am over reacting but I am so angery, it upsetted me to the point I had to call in sick to work because I am afraid of going to work and snapping on someone. Well the only good things is I have a date(May 6th) and that God is holding me together, right along with my sexy man(Jason). I feel bad for venting but I had to let it out. Not good to hold things in when they bother you.
4/25/05
I called the office back today to get some things stra8 about the situation that occured on 4/20/05. This time I didn't speak to the young lady that I had talked to on 4/20/05 who gave me major attitude. So guess what when I call I explain what happened to the office mananger and she so happens to get me a date for May 3 and not May 6th. I smell a rat and I don't like to be played. I am the wrong person to pull this kind of stuff on. I work in the health care industry and I know a few tricks of the trade and I will make sure that everyone is treated fairly like the law states they are suppose to be. My boyfriend brought up a good point about how some doctors offices will leave spots open and available for people who walk in and pay cash but my thing was if that is so why is it that other girl got a date 3 days before me and she has the same insurance, she isn't even a cash paying patient. The truth shall come to light. I need to feel like I can trust these people man. I mean they are going to be performing a very serious procedure and the last thing I need is to feel like I can even trust them to treat me fairly when it comes to scheduling an appointment. Pray for me yall.
5/3/05
Ok so I finally got the chance to make it through the doors to my consult. I have been so stressed about today, I was falling asleep in the waiting room at the office. I read everyones post on here about how great certain people were so maybe I was hurt and shocked at the same time when I didn't recieve that feeling. There was only one person there that made good conversation with me out side of what I was there for. For some reason I just don't feel comfortable. Well more like invited into this. I guess because I have worked so hard to even get this far I was expecting more then what I should have. I was given my folder and my list of labs I will need to complete. Just feeling really blue about the whole visit. Maybe I am just to moodie and on edge. I was hoping to come home and hop on the computer and share with you guys about how great everything went and how great this person was and that person(maybe next time ). Thanks for letting me VENT.
5/11/05
Ok everybody this is why I stress BE YOUR OWN ADOVATE. I have a PCP who is beyound slow and uneducated about this whole WLS process. She does a whole lot of little things that make me question her ability to deal with my situation properly. Well I finshed my blood work and my chest x-ray today, but because the Dingy PCP I have order one of thee labs for am I have to come all the way back there in the morn. I mean I will explain a situation to her and will have to explain it to her like six dang times. I want so badly to change my PCP but I am to far in the process to change doctors. As soon as I become a LOSER I am on the prawl for a better PCP. My fiance was even shocked at how hard it was for her to understand after it being explained to her for thee fourth, fifth, sixth time. I am so stressed out right this is no the time to be playing around with my labs and paper work. I have come to far in this whole process for my surgery to be delayed because my PCP can't do her job properly. There has been some other issues concering her and it has been time forme to get rid of her. So I mainly blame myself for not cutting all ties with her a long time ago. Well pray for me OH, God is the only one that can see me through it all.
5/12/05
So I return to my PCP office and get my am lab drawn. So yeah that is another thing completed. Then I go back to her floor so I can get an EKG done because now my surgeon is requiring an EKG. So I wait because I respect the fact that other people there have appointments but I am willing to wait because that will be one less thing I will need to be bothered with. So check that is another thing off my list. So when I get home I get a call from her again because she can never seem to get her facts straight or get what is happenin with me in order. Soonce again I am explainin what is going to her and now I am getting irrated because she keeps making comments like "well I can't keep tract of everything", or "your not the only patient I have I have a lot of patients". Ok somebody please tell me what does her work load have to do with me. I can see her saying it once but she always throws that in my face like it is thee professional thing to do. I work in the healthcare industry and I know you don't pawn things like that off on thee patient. That is why through this whole process everything has been done by me. O then she had the nerves to tell me that I need to cancel one my appointment because she wasn't going to do it. This woman hasn't supported me in my process of getting WLS, if I could have done my labs without her I would have. She made a lot of comments today that made me realize that she is a "Gatekeeper". I refused to be treated like another folder. O lawd please keep me strong.
5/18/05
Well it has been a couple of days so I figured I might as well get on here and vent. These days have been going by soooo slow. I just want to get over this really bad dream and get a surgery date. I feel like I am going to go crazy. I keep myself locked up in my room. My fiance is such a sweet heart he supports me through it all. I honestly don't know how he can handle my mood because I can even say I have been the Queen of B!tChez. Still he loves me. Rubs my feet, rubs my back, tells me everything will get better. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. I thank God for him everyday. I have been getting a lot of e-mails asking for support and I must say I enjoy helping those who need help. I know what it feels like to be in the dark and no one willing to at least point you in the direction of the light. I want to tell all that are haveing a rough time with their insurance or someone in their family is not being very supportive, keep your head up and keep fighting for you. If you don't fight for you who will? Please feel free to e-mail me if you just want to chat.
5/25/05
Ok today I finshed up my upper GI and Gallbladder Ultrasound. Thoes were the two things holding me back, so I though. I had to travel about for 2 hours on the bus to get to this appointment. So determined I actually got there 30 minutes early for the appointment. I wasn't for sure were the building was located so I had made the choice to leave early so I can be there way before time just in case I got lost or missed the stop I was suppose to be getting off of. Even though this place was far the people were so freindly. Everyone there was so happy and talkative. It scared me for a minute because I am not use to that type of Grade A treatment from my healthcare team. The white stuff they make you drink for the Upper GI wasn't as bad as everyone was telling me it was going to be(taste like Milk of magnesium). The doctor had me rolling around on the table. Now I have a big booty so that was a problem at first because he had the machine position over me and my booty would turn because I have really big hips and butt. I looked like a dear caught in headlights. It was funny.
5/31/05
Yeah today I finally got the chance to meet Dr. Mueller. I wasn't nevrous until I actually got there. The girl called me back to weight me and I could feel the nervousness rush over me. When she put me on the scale I was shocked at my weight gained but more emotionally hurt that I am adding to the damage of body. I was almost in tears. Dr. Mueller was imformative and soft spoken, and I appreciate that. He also said that there was an 80% chance that he could do it lap but he wanted me to cut back on fatty foods, drink plenty of water and try to get out and walk as much as I can, even though I am limited to what I can do at this time. Dr. Mueller also stated that because of the way my body is shaped(pear-shaped)that he would consider my BMI in somewhere in the area of 50+. I am mainly bottom heavy. I am so ashamed I could crawl into a whole. All that hard work when I lost 63 pounds. Its hurts to know that I have gained all of it back. Well it hurts to know I am in the 400 range as well. I guess that is why I just don't understand how my boyfrined can find me so attractive. He is so cute I thank God for him everyday. Pray for me guys.
6/1/05
O my lawd, why is the devil busy in my life right now. I have been off of work for like a month now. My money is funny, me and my family are on the brinks of no food in the house and no lights. I have no clue what I am going to do. Then I have this PCP from hell. The whole thing with her is she really doesn't even approve of me having this surgery so every way she can find possible to delay of put off my progressing toward the surgery date(June 13th) I had set up. Now she lays on me that she will not be writting a surgical clearence I would need to go see a cardiologist for that. So she makes an appoinmet for July 18, mind you now my surgery date is June 13. Somebody please tell me how thoes two are gong to work. I am about to blow at the seems and this woman is testing my patience every chance she gets. Not only is she bad mouthing me to other healthcare workers but she is doing everything in her power to delay my process. If girlfriend thinks she is going to have the pleasure of that she is wrong. I have worked to hard and to long for this woman to take from me what is mine. I refuse. She is messing with the wrong woman. I got on my phone and start making some calls. Lots of phone calls. To whom ever will listen. The madness must stop with her and it is going to stop here and now. I will keep you guys updated on how the surgical clearnce letter is going. That is the only thing holding me back right now is that letter. Everything is ready to go but that letter. All I can do is give it to God and keep my faith in my father.
6/14/05
Today was my cardiologist appointment. I was so nervous on the way there. But no matter how nervous or scared I was making my big booty there. I get there and I spent more time in the lobby then I did in the room with the doctor. He looks at me and ask me "what is wrong with your doctor?"(In my mind I have been wondering the same thing). He says my echo is fine my EKG is fine, I am 26 y/o, I don't smoke so I was good to go. He listened to my lungs and felt on the side of my ankle to feel for a Pedal pulse and it was over. It took him like 5 minutes to write it and I stood there while his assitant faxed it over to my surgeons office. Once I left the office I marched straight to the phone to call my surgeons office to make sure they recieved that fax. They got it. One step closer to becoming a LOSER. Such a great feeling but I have had such bad luck with my PCP I don't know. I was told that my surgeons office would still have to have my pcp clearance as well(which that still doesn't make since to me considering that fact she sent me to a cardiologist for clearance and now he has given it). But I am just trying to follow the rules. Well I am playing on packing a lunch and sitting in that waiting area all day if I have to, to get her to at least write out on a prescription pad for clearance. Wish me luck.
6/14/05
OMG!! OMG!! You will never guess what just happen. My surgeons office called and asked me if I would like to have surgery this coming monday(June 20th)Fathers Day. My surgeons office is going out of town for a conference and will not be back until July 2nd. Now I know this is very short notice but I am not willing to wait another week to become a LOSER. I have waited almost 8 years to become a LOSER. The lady at my surgeons office tells me she will call me back if she can set it up. I get a call from the surgical nurse over at the Hospital who is asking me these question about what I am allergic to or can I climb two flight of steps and I am kind of wondering what is all these questions for if I haven't heard back from the lady at the surgeons office that it was set to go. The nurse tells me that I am scheduled for June 20th @ 8am. I want to scream with enjoyment but I don't want to get my hopes up just yet. I have been disappointed way to much. I have a pre-op appointment tommorow at 12:15pm. I will be there with bells on.
6/16/05
Well I went to my pre-op appointment yesterday and it seemed like forever. I think in total I was there for about 4 hours. It was all worth it. I signed a whole bunch of paper work at my surgeons office then I met with the nutrionist(we went over the items in the binder I was given, I guess it would be called my "Handbook"), the nurse, and my wonderful surgeon . It made me feel so great to know he has so much confidence in my progress. Then I walked over to the hospital and I signed a ton more of paper work and then gave me Hibiclens then it was off to the lab for my CBC and UA.
My surgery is at 8am but I have to be there at 5:30am. I guess I am kind of faced with 2 dilemas. One is my $100.00 co-pay. Since it so short notice I am just going to pray on that one. Then my grandmothers car broke down so did my fiances and I have to figure out a way there 5:30 in the morn. I know God didn't bring me this far for all these things to be going wrong a couple of days before my surgery. I need you guys to really pray for me. I am asking as many people as I can to keep me in their prayers. I understand what I am walking into is very serious . But I am so ready. Scared and nervous but more then ready. I am sure a lot of you post-ops and even some of you pre-ops know what feeling I am speaking of.
Well you guys I guess all I do now is sit back and wait in hopes that nothing goes wrong with any of my labs, I come up with $100.00 and a ride by sunday. I know I can do it. I will keep you guys posted.
6/17/05
SURGERY CANCELED...AGAIN. I remember in my last thread I was saying I didn't want to get to excited about having surgery because something always happens. I guess its true bad things happen to good people. My surgeon called today to tell me that my WBC were very high. He said that I might have appendicitis or a UTI . So I have to take antibiotics twice a day for a week.
After all I have been through one more hurdle to pass. This will be my fourth surgery date. It hurts so much but in my heart I know it is all for the best. I do appreciate you guys support and encouraging words. I think it hurts so much because everyone thought I was going to become a LOSER and once again I am still a Fool. I am staying strong its all I have. Please keep me in your prayers.
6/20/05
Well I did something I should have done a long time ago. I finally changed my PCP. Thank the LAWD. I hear she is a really good Doctor. I also made an appointment for 6/28/05 so I can do a UA and get my blood drawn to check to see if my WBC are back to norm. I will be done with the anitbiotics on Friday. Thank goodness for that too because I am so tired of taking these big ol horse pills. I feel like this big weight has been lifted on my shoulders just knowing I don't have to deal with that bad PCP anymore. I am greatful and hopefully for a better Doctor.
6/28/05
My New PCP is GREAT. I was so amazed with her. I was kind of having second doubts once I went online and seen how far out her office was because. A sista is on the bus and where her office is in that part of town it gets really HOT out there during this time of the year. But everything went smoothly. I mean I was in and out and she was so concerned and she offered some great advice and I was just in shock because she was offering to do things for me. Like she asked me did I need a referal letter to surgeons office. Now mind you the old PCP had to sit and explain why I needed and if she could do it in a certain time frame. She would always give me attutide. Even though my new PCP office is far I am willing to make the trip all the way out there to recieve the great care her office has to offer. Sine she knows I live so far she even offered to do most of everything over the phone if needed.
While I was sitting talking to my new PCP they ran my urine and everything came back in order. I just have to wait for the results of my CBC. I am just hoping everything is fine so when my surgeons office comes back from their conference everything will be in order. Me and the fiance was talking about me having surgery after the 8th of this month but honestly I want to have as soon as I can. I need to get the ball rolling over here. I am just going to pray on it. Give it to God.
7/1/05
I feel so blessed right now. I just recieved an e-mail from a good friend here on OH. She has offered to be my angel. I honestly didn't think I would end up with an angel. I had actually given up hopes that anyone would ask me or I would gather up the nerves to ask anybody. I want to Thank Ms. Deri for offering to be my ANGEL. She has been such a great support person. I know I am in good hands.
Please go check out my ANGELS page.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=O1099828471
7/5/05(Tuesday) 16 MORE DAYS
I called my surgeons office because they had been gone since June 27th to see when was the earliest I could get in. I was shooting for something like July 11th. The lady at my surgeons office say well she had booked me for the July 21st. Now I have a problem with that for 2 reason. One she never asked me if that day was ok and second I have a thing with having any type of procedure done at the end of the week. I cried and I was so angry I had to lie down and take a nap to get the devil off me. I was thinking some really bad things about myself at that moment and knew it was the devil trying to take over me in my weakiest moment. I won't allow it. I have come to far to back out now. I am still hurt but now I know God has everything set for a reason. Keep me in your prayers. I appreciate them so much.
7/8/05 (Friday) 13 MORE DAYS
I just got off the phone with my surgeons office to see if anyone had called and canceled. She said that everything looks to be the same. But she did say that their might be an opening that Monday of the week of my surgery. Four days earlier. But I am not going to get my hopes up about nothing because I have been disappointed way to much now. It will happen I guess when it is going to happen. I think I am more worried then anything because I have been off work for like 2 months now without pay because I just can not do my job duties anymore due to my weight. So I am so ready to get this done and over with so I can return back to work. I am a paycheck from being homeless over here. Here in San Diego you have to be on top of your game or you can and will be homeless. The price of living out here is crazy. Well I am still waiting.
7/9/05(Saturday) 12 MORE DAYS
7/10/05(Sunday) 11 MORE DAYS
7/11/05(Monday) 10 More Days
7/12/05(Tuesday) 9 More Days
7/13/05
OK OK. I just got off the phone with my surgeons office and they offered to let me have surgery tomorrow because someone was canceled. I am kind of freaking out but not trying to take it all in yet. We all know what happens to me when I get excited about something it doesn't happen. All she needs from me is my UA I took about 3 weeks ago with my new PCP who said she would fax it the day of my doctors visit but still has yet to fax it. I keep calling asking for them to send it over. Still nothing. I called and had a talk with her nurse who I guess handles all that stuff and he had was rude, little did he know he picked the wrong sisiter to pull this on. I gave him a couple of sweet words and I say within 30 minutes them UA results were faxed. I am already stressed out this point becuase I have to now get all this stuff together now because I have nothing.
I have to go to the Bank
Go to Wal-Mart
Wash my bed covers because I have to lay on clean lien.
So I get back from Wal-Mart almost 11pm and I still have all this washing to do. I washed all the clothes that were dirty. My fiance has to have clean clothes for work and Lawd knows I don't need him washing anything. He says he knows how to wash but I am not really trying to find out...lol I had no sleep. I didn't even get to sleep on those clean lein I stayed up all night and moring to clean and dry. My eyes were burning. I was so drained. But it will all be worth it soon. Pray for me.
