3 weeks out

Aug 16, 2010

So today marks 21 days since surgery and overall it's not too bad.  I've been losing weight steadily and most of my clothes are falling off of me.  I'm running out of things to wear for work, which is a good and bad thing.  Work is extremely casual and I will have to start wearing dresses to have something to wear.  I wish I had budgeted my money a little better for clothes.  Lesson learned.  I know this is a process and that I do weigh about the same now as when I was married 5 yrs ago.  Meaning this is my lowest weight since then.  The divorce will be finalized in 3 days and it's strange knowing that it's coming to an end.  We haven't been together for 4 years, but I don't hate him.  There were some things that were sweet about him, just not enough to erase the bad.  It's another part of my life coming to an end.  Leo went around last night asking where his dad was and saying "that not my daddy.  Mommy where my daddy?  I miss my daddy".  I know he doesn't understand that his dad isn't responsible and will never stick around, and he's only 2yrs old.  He sees other kids with their dads and he wants the same.  I miss having someone around as well.  I want someone there with us.  I'm hoping that things begin to turn around. 

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