So you want to know more about me..... let me see if I can do this....

I was a thin child. I was a lifeguard and on swim team in high school. I was also an active member of Colorguard and Band... Two things that are still near and dear to my heart. I live vicariously thru my children!

I had my first child when I was 16. The guy I was dating told me you will loose the weight.... I think he was trying to encourage me due to the fact it worried me. But there lies the first trip I had with weight issues. He and I later split up but the effect of what he said that day remained a lifetime.

Fast forward a few years.

I then met and married my first husband. I gained some weight. I got pregnant with my second child. gained more weight. I never seemed to loose it. My then husband said to me, "if you loose the weight I will buy you a new wardrobe." Ok binge dieting commences. I walked daily, I swam, I starved myself, I did weight watchers because that is what his mom did. I did or tried it all. I lost alot of weight but I was not health by any stretch of the means.

Fast forward a couple of years.

My then husband and I seperated after some issues. I was majorly depressed. I ate alot. I gained alot. Then we divorced.

Fast forward............

I seemed to level out around 160 for a couple of years. I worked hard and played harder. Then met my now husband. He is the light of my life, most days. He has tried to be encouraging. But our lives got "comfortable" I gained. More then ever I gained.. I dont know if its the stress of our lives or just the knowledge of he would love me no matter what but I gained.

I had toyed with the idea of having RNY for a few years. My best friend had it done and I saw her transformation. It was not an easy road for her.  But I never really committed to having the surgery. I again started another starve me diet.

My daughters are both in colorguard.... some of the girls would make snide or rude remarks. Some would be so mean. I tried to brush it off. But one day in practice I realized something had to give. I wanted to be active with the kids. I justcouldnt keep up anymore.

Then one night laying in bed next to the man in my life, he said something. I wont say what but suffice it to say it cut me deeper than anything anyone could say to me. It hurt so bad. I slept on the couch for a week. I wouldnt speak to him. I wouldnt look at him. I felt like, "how can you of all people be so shallow? How long have you lied to me about how you felt?" I nearly filed for divorce right then.

But I was already on the path to RNY... I had been trying for several months and was following the insurance and surgeon guidelines.  Little did I know what my husband said to me would spur me on faster. I wanted my life back. I wanted US back. I wanted to wear cute clothes. I wanted to be there with my girls.

I quit smoking. I started taking care of me. I did everything that was asked of me. and after 18 grueling months I FINALLY GOT MY SURGERY!! May 31, 2011.

I am happy to say once my husband and I had our fight and I nearly left. We are slowly on the mend. He has decided to not keep things from me. I dont from him either. We talk now more than we ever have. Especially about issues we may have. He has been a pillar of support for me. Do I love him? I always have. with every fiber of my being. Will I ever forget what he said that night? Probably not. Its a fat girl scar. A constant reminder of what could happen.

I am looking forward to a trip with him a year after my surgery. All of our children will be grown and gone at that point.  Well maybe not gone but all over 18 and out of high school! We will officially be empty nesters. What a glorious day when he and I can jump on an airplane and I wont need two seat and fly to Alaska for our cruise!!!!

About Me
lake cormorant, MS
Location
29.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/31/2011
Surgery Date
Mar 23, 2011
Member Since

Friends 15

Latest Blog 28

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