Changes in Life

May 18, 2011

I never expected it to get to here but I am now divorced as of this week after 16 1/2 years of marriage.  It wasn't my choice, I really wanted to continue to work through our differences and attend marriage counseling, the ex didn't although I'm not surprised since he's NEVER really given much to the marriage anyway.  Add in he moved out and IN with another woman within a week to 10 days, yeah he cheated on me, good riddance asshole.   I've always given and given and tried and tried and the past few years it's become really hard to give any more.  My ex was/is an alcoholic and decided the past 2 years (after not drinking for 8 or so years) that alcohol was more important than his family.  After many conversations and trying to live through it, the marriage wasn't salvageable I suppose.  I DO understand addictions as I grew up with an alcoholic father, BUT until an addict accepts they have to make changes then there is no change and family dynamics crumble for the other spouse and children.

I'm ok with it now that I realize how unhappy we've both been and how our lack of communication and the tension in the family was affecting our boys more than us staying together for the sake of the boys.  They seem happier and less stressed, as am I.  We stay busy with kid activities (baseball and karate currently).  They appear to be dealing with the separation and divorce much better than I anticipated.  Of course, I expect at some point they'll have more questions and concerns and we will address those too. 

So life continues to evolve.  I'm dealing with it my way and going forward.  Looking forward to my glass half full and no longer half empty.

 

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