Hello friends

Oct 22, 2015

I haven't posted since last year and I am ashamed to come back and say that I have regained 45 pounds.  I am having a lot of stomach issues with ulcers and acid reflux, I had an endoscope done and my doctor found multiple ulcers and suggests that I have a revision surgery to an RNY.  I am afraid that if I have the revision I will just fail at that too.  I really thought I could get a handle on my eating but it never seems to be enough.  I can't seem to stop the constant grazing and I have eaten to the point of throwing up, but none of that seems to phase me.  

I met someone last year and he actually loves me for who I am and not how I look, (the extra stomach hanging, and extra weight).  I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life with him no matter the length of time we have left together.  I knew if I came back here I would have to be accountable but I also knew my friends would understand what I am going through.  In essence I need a swift kick in the butt.  

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